An Upside-down “Y”

Her eyes welled. "And... and the next thing I knew, you were picking me up asking if I was all right. I said I was okay, then you were practically flying through the air and you grabbed the guy off his bike and started punching him, and... and I got so scared because he was older and bigger than you and I started screaming at you that... that we should just run away, but... but you kept hitting him and-and demanding he apologize to me, shouting that no one talked to your sister that way. And... and then that other guy got off his bike and I got evenmorescared because I thought he was going to pull you off the other guy and they'dbothbeat you up." She took a slow deep breath and wiped her eyes.

Ted glanced at her. He had heard tears in her voice before they had welled in her eyes. "Actually, Ky,youwere the hero." He smiled. "I couldn't believe you started shoving that other guy away, standing between him, and me and the guy I was fighting."

"I almost started hitting him, but... he just tried to push me out of the way, and I kept jumping back in front of him, pushinghim. He probably thought I was like eight years old, because... well, I was always small, and I guess he would have felt like a super jerk if he had hit me or something. And then Katie screamed she was going to get her dad and started running home. Then you got that kid to... to apologize to me, and his friend told him to get on his bike, that the other girl had run off to get someone. I guess he wanted to leave before Katie's dad came."

Her eyes welled up again. "No one ever fought for me like that." She sniffled and wiped her eyes again. She set her glass on the little plastic table between their chairs, then took some tissues out of her pocket and blew her nose. She didn't know why she was getting so emotional.

"Dad would havekilledthat kid. I just wanted to beat him bloody. In fact... his mouthwasbloody. I think I was too." He smiled. "Myknucklesgot cut on histeeth." Ted's smile grew as he sipped his bourbon.

"He was so much bigger than you. I got so scared you'd get hurt."

"I probably had more fighting experience than him. I got into a lot of fights. Bigger guysalwaysseemed to pick on me, push me around, tried to bully me. I could never figure out why. I never picked a fight with anyone. Anyway, I didn't want that kind of bullying crap happening to you."

"I loved you so much that day." She wiped her eyes again.

"After they rode off I thought you had really gotten hurt because you started crying so hard. Remember? I kept asking you where you were hurt."

She giggled softly, then wiped her eyes once more. "I know. I was crying because I had been so scared about you getting beat up. I... I remember I hugged you really tightly."

"Yeah. I... I remember that."

She looked at him in the dark. "Did... did that embarrass you?"

He thought for a moment. "No... no, it didn't embarrass me."

"Why... why did you hesitate just now?" She bit her lower lip.

"It's... it's hard to remember exactly what I felt at that moment. I... I was really adrenelized, still wanting to beat the hell out of that guy, and... and if I was embarrassed about the hug, it was because... well, I guess I liked it. So... no, I wasn't embarrassed, at least not the way you mean it."

"You... you liked it?"

"Yeah, I guess I did. At the time, maybe I thought of myself as a hero too... no,nota hero, a... adefender, and the hug made me feel good I guess." He chuckled.

"Why the laugh?"

"Maybe later I got a little embarrassed, actually more likeworried."

"You did?" Her heart sank. Had he worried someone saw the hug?

"Yeah. I started worrying your little friend, you know, Katie, might start telling everyoneyouhad protectedme, you know, from thatotherguy, and then it would get around my little sister had beat up some guy to protectme." He laughed briefly. "Jeez... I really hated it when Katie and her dad drove up and he came running over. Asking who was hurt and who the stupid guys were."

Kyli nodded. "He drove us home after that and you had to keep telling him we were okay when he kept saying we should come over and stay at their house."

"I now know Mr. Hall was a good guy, but back then he really pissed me off. I didn't want his help... his concern."

"I didn't want to go over there either. He took us home. Katie went back to her house though." She looked at Ted again. "Remember what we did after that?"

He shook his head. "Yeah, that wassuper stupidof me."

"I didn't think so. You... I think you were trying to show me not to be afraid. In fact, you said that at the time. That I shouldn't let any jerks or fear stop me from doing anything."

He laughed. "Ky, going to the store again wasincrediblystupid of me. Hell... you didn't even want the damn slurpy anymore. We could have run into those assholes again."

She smiled. "Ididwant a slurpy, but... but I didn't want to take a chance those guys would come back and beat you up, and I was thinking they might get other friends and be looking for you."

"See? I told you a few minutes agoyou'rethe smarter one." He chuckled. He remembered a part of him wanting to run into the prick again. And Ky was right. He had been trying to show her not to be afraid. It really had been incredibly stupid of him though, at least going with Kyli.

"It was a little odd walking back there, no, notodd. I mean... I felt scared for you, the guys coming back, but...Ifelt safe being with you."

His smile waned. "I'm glad you felt safe with me around." His smile reappeared. "Remember the funniest thing about that night?"

Kyli finally grinned. "Uh-huh. The slurpy machine was broken!"

"Yeah!" Ted laughed and looked at his sister when she turned her face towards him. "We got something else, didn't we?"

"Uh-huh. We got... mmm..." Her brow pinched for a moment. "Oh! I got a coconut milk and you got... oh... some sports drink, and... and I got a big pretzel and you got one of those awful meat sticks."

He chuckled. "A Slim Jim."

She kept smiling. "Then we sat at the side of the building and watched the cars on Ogden."

"Yeah, that's right."

"I... I thought that was the best part."

"Watching the traffic?"

"No. Sitting with you and talking, and... that... that you didn't mind if any of your friends saw us together, you know, if they walked by."

He grinned. "Well... it was aspecialnight."

Her smile faded again. "It was."

He remembered when they got home, the two messages on the answering machine. His mother frantic on both. The second one saying that if they didn't hear from him in ten minutes they were leaving the party and driving home. He had called in the nick of time, explaining that they'd been outside and didn't hear the phone, and that no one was really hurt, that Kyli just skinned her knee a little. He had already started thinking going to the 7-Eleven a second time had been very stupid. He had gotten angrier at Mr. Hall, although it was probably Mrs. Hall, for calling his parents, then he got pissed about his parents giving them the number to the party, obviously Mom had asked them to keep an eye on him and Kyli.

Ted half smiled. "You know, the next day, Dad really got angry at me about taking you up there in the first place. He was really pissed at me."

"Why? They let you go up there at night. You were fourteen, right?"

"Yeah, I know, but... well,youweren't. I think he was... he was post facto worried like hell about the possibility of you getting hurt." He chuckled softly. "Then he asked if I had nailed the asshole. I told him I had and he patted me on the back about that, then he said I should try not to get into fights. Dad should have gotten a parenting award formixed messages." Ted grinned and took a sip of his drink.

"You know, we've... we've never talked about what you thought or-or felt about... about... ummm...." She bit her lower lip again.

"About what?"

"About me being adopted."

His brow pinched. "I... I don't know what you mean."

"I don't know, did you... did you think it was weird or-or... or did you ever wish I was, you know, a biological sister?"

He answered immediately, "No." His gut tensed wondering if he had responded too fast.

"No, what? I mean no to what?"

"No, it wasn't odd or weird, and no, I didn't want you to be a biological sister." His gut tensed again. It hadn't come out right. He took another sip of his bourbon.

"What do you mean, you didn'twantme to be abiologicalsister?"

"Huh?" He made sure his brow pinched as he looked at her. "I meant, it wasn't weird that you weren't."

She tried to see his eyes better in the dark for a couple moments. "Oh."

He thought he needed to cover up that slip. He searched his memory. His mouth formed a crooked smile. "When Mom and Dad told me there was a possibility I was going to have a baby brother or sister, I got really excited. I... I think they may have tried to explain adoption but I can't remember if they did or not, but... my excitement waned when a few months later, maybe more than a few months, they showed me a little picture of you and said you were my baby sister."

He grinned. "Mannnn... I wanted a baby brother so badly. But... then when they brought you home after being away for... well, it seemed likeforeverthat Gramma was at the house taking care of me, but it was probably only a couple weeks. Anyway, they brought you home and I... I just thought you were so cool, you looked like this little doll that moved all by itself, and... and Mom made sure I knew about being gentle with you and... oh... I guess she probably told me about the soft spot and all that stuff. She then told me I was now abig brotherso I had to make sure you were always safe. I guess I liked the idea of being abig brother, because then you being a girl instead of a boy didn't matter anymore. I was abig brother." He grinned. "You know, your pussy is the first one I ever saw." He laughed softly.

"Don't becrass."

"Wanna hear about it?"

"No, you ass." She took a slow breath. "All right. Tell me."

"It's kind of amazing I can remember all this stuff, well... maybe not that amazing, I mean I was four years old. I had two big scares about you, and Mom and Dad had one."

"Huh?"

"The first one was... it must have been a Saturday or Sunday because Dad was home. Mom was changing you, and during that she suddenly started shouting for Dad, then shouted for me to find him. I think he was outside in the yard or puttering in the garage or something. So... I get him and we both run back into the house. Mom tells him to look at your diaper, and she's nearly shaking and saying she's going to call the doctor right away or... take you to the ER, and...

"What?! Why?"

He chuckled. "I'm getting to that." He sipped his drink. "So... she's really upset and Dad's looking in your poopy diaper, and he says... I remember thissoclearly..." Ted laughed again.

"What?!"

"He says, 'Oh mannnn, those are goddamnworms.'" Ted laughed.

"Worms?!"

Ted nodded with a big grin on his face. "Yeah,worms." He laughed again.

"Oh...gawd. How did I getworms?"

"I... years later, I remembered it, and I asked Mom about it, and... well, it turns out that a lot of babies from China had worms, from... I don't know, the water orsomethingover there."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh,gawd." She felt a shiver pass through her. "What... what was the other thing about me that scared all of you?"

"You'll get a kick out of this." He chuckled again.

"What?"

"Mom is changing you another time, this wasafterthe GreatWormScare..." He laughed once more.

"Shut upabout that! What's this other thing?"

"It didn't scare Mom or Dad, just me. The worms were what scared them." He chuckled yet again, and had another sip of his drink. He realized he was getting a little looped.

Kyli's pretty eyes grew large. "Just tell me!"

"Okay... so... this is soon after theGreat Worm Scare, I'm watching Mom change you, I'm pretty sure I was checking for more worms, and... and I thought... I thought somethinghorriblehad happened to you and it really scared me." He grinned.

"What?!"

"I'm watching real closely, staring at you and I'mshockedbecause you don't have a package." He chuckled.

"Huh?"

"You don't have apenis. And I got scared that..." His grin grew. "This is good." He laughed. "I got scared because I thought thewormshad eaten it!"

"Shut up!" She leaned towards him and swatted his arm. Smat!

Ted laughed yet again. "So I got scared and asked Mom about it, then... then she explained it to me. I guess... I guess that was my firstsex talkand... and afterwards, in myboy brain, it really made sense that, you know, boys and girls would be different down there. I mean I knew girls and, well,women, were different by then, you know, tits and stuff, and girls wore dresses, and you weren't supposed to punch girls, but you know, I didn't know about pussies." He grinned. "By the way, you have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen, Ky."

She felt her vagina clench as if it had a mind of its own. She spoke softly, "Shut up."

The grin left his face and his voice. "You know, I... I always thought you'd have a very pretty... beautiful pussy." He blinked and his face went slack for a moment. "Ahhh... jeezuz... sorry, Ky. I... I shouldn't have said that." He realized he was definitely a little drunk.

"Did you... did you really think that?"

He looked at her, glad it was so dark. He couldn't see her eyes very well. "Yeah, I... I did."

They both grew silent. It lasted two minutes. Ted broke it. "Did I just screw the mood here?"

"No. I... I'm just thinking."

"You know, it would have been really funny, if in that pregnant pause jus' now, half way through it, you would have said..." His voice rose an octave and took on a lilt, "Ted? I always thought you'd have the prettiest dick."

"Don't becrass." Kyli shook her head but smiled softly.

He laughed then finished off his bourbon rocks. "I'm gettin' another drink. Wan' a refill?"

"I don't think you need another. How many is that for you?"

"I don' know. Two I think."

"I think that's your third because this is my second. You had one more than me."

"You trying to take Mom's role here? Or illustrate your math skills?"

"No."

"Then shut up." He stood. "You want another?"

"No. Wait. Oh... all right." She drank the remnants from her glass and handed it to him.

"Okay, be right back."

Kyli realized that talking about their childhood had taken her mind off of her divorce, which made her think about it again.

Ted made the refills, then returned to the lounge chairs. The backyard was surrounded by trees and tall shrubs but he knew the moon was rising. It had gotten a little brighter on the patio. He handed Kyli her drink.

"Thank you."

Ted sat down. "You're welcome." He tasted his bourbon rocks and stole a glance at Kyli's legs.

She took a sip of her drink. "Are you bored talking about the past, our childhoods?"

"Mmm.... no. Have another memory?"

"Yes, but... I'm... I'm not sure I should bring it up."

His brow pinched. "What is it?"

A million butterflies alighted in her abdomen. "It was a game... well... no, not really agamegame, but... um..." She took another drink from her glass.

"What do you mean? When was this? What kind of game?"

"I was... I think... like thirteen, maybe fourteen." She felt breathless for a moment.

His brow pinched. "Yeah? What game?"

"It wasn't agamegame, it was... I guess... um... I guess it could be called a 'what if'game, if... if it should be called a game."

He stared at her profile wondering what the hell she was talking about. His gut tensed as it came to him.Oh... shit!

"It only happened... I mean, we played it only like... oh... like ten times. The first time we were in my room and playing... well, playing some sort ofregulargame, a... a board game or cards or something, and we were on my bed and we finished playing it. Mom and Dad were out on one of their monthly dates to the movies or dinner or something. You lost so you were putting the game pieces away, and I started teasing you about... about seeing you holding hands with that girl, I think her name was Darcy. And..."

He spoke softly, "Her name was Marcy... or Marcia."

"Oh... yeah, and... and then I said... I asked, what... what you'd do if you walked into her bedroom when she was sleeping and... and you'd know that she'd not wake up while you were in her room, what... what you would do. Do you remember that?"

His gut tightened more. He was tempted to lie. He didn't. "Yeah, I remember. Listen, Ky, wha..."

"Sssh. Remember what happened?"

"Yeah, but listen..."

She interrupted again, "I've never forgotten that."

"Ky, I never touched you in any..."

"Ted, I know you didn't touch me... inappropriately. If that's what you're worrying about."

"Well... Ididn't."

"Iknowyou didn't." Her anxiety rose a hundred fold. "Never... nevermind."

He took a slow breath. "Come on, tell me now. I... I need to know what you remember about it. To... to see if it matches my memory."

"So you really do remember it, all those times?"

"I didn't think there weretentimes. Maybe six times, over... a few years ."

"Okay, it was probably less than ten. But... you do remember the times?"

"Yeah." He squirmed on the cushion. He wondered what she was going to say. He took a good sized drink from his glass.

"I... um... oh... nevermind. Let's not talk about it."

"You know, Ihatewhen you do this. You bring something up and-and then saynevermind."

"What... what doyouremember about those times, and tell me the truth."

His gut was still in a knot. "Why... why don't we both tell each other what we remember. You go first, about... the first time."

She drank more, then slowly lowered the glass. "I guess, in a way, in aweirdway, when I saw you holding Marcia's hand, I... I don't know a better word to use, okay? But... I guess seeing you two holding hands, it kind of made me... jealous, in a weird, you know,oddway. And then I started wondering what... what other stuff, you know,boy-girl stuffyou two had done together." She closed her eyes and blushed. She was talking as if she was thirteen years old again. "What you might want to do with her sexually, but at the time, I didn't think the word 'sexually.' I don't mean having sex. I was wondering about kissing, putting your arm around her, hugging, that sort of thing."

He had always wondered why it had started. He was glad to finally know the reason. "Yeah, you teased me about holding hands with her, and then came up with the scenario, she... she was asleep, wasn't going to wake up, no one would know I was in the bedroom with her and... and you wanted to know what I'd do."

"Uh-huh, that's exactly what I said, and then I told you... I said you should demonstrate it on me. You didn't want to at first, but I said it was just pretending, and... some other things which I can't remember, and then you said, 'Okay.' So I lay on my bed and had my arms at my sides and my legs together, and... and I closed my eyes, I guess to make it seem like I really was asleep. I-I think I told you to turn off the lights." Kyli remembered how excited she had gotten, yet had been a little scared too.