All Comments on 'And I Love Her'

most writers talk to much at the beginning of the story and don't tell anything at the end.leave the reader wandering what happen next.the writers are trying to show you how smart they are or teasing, and miss the point of the story.thanks again for the closure.

I don't know how to react to your story. I've enjoyed your stories on this site and think you did a creditable job with this one. At first, I had a knee-jerk reaction dismissing your effort since I think most follow ups by another author are often disappointing. I think HDK had a good ending to his story but yours was also good. But it seems that HDK's emphasis was on the relationship between the husband and the wife while you changed the emphasis to solving a mystery. Maybe you two should consider a collaboration in the future. I think this would have worked better for me if I hadn't known HDK's ending already. If you had written this story together, I would have believed that HDK was the one who thought of having the board members strip. It sounds right up his alley.

Boyd

Took me a minute or two to follow the logical; I kinda got lost when it all pointed to him.

Yep, very good, you have a very logical mind besides being a writer..

Well Mr. rpsuch, while it's nice and entertaining to read such a collaborative effort, you don't get away with just half a story. Well without some guilt trip effort on our part to get your juices flowing again on a full story that is!!! ----------.

So how about it - or do we have to get nasty. We have lawyers 2 you know. Maybe a Class Action or --------. Think about it as you are missed and this was just a sniff of what could be.------.

With Very High Regard

Normally, I enjoy rpsuch's stories. "Fifth Place" is still in my favorite's list but this story didn't do anything for me. I fail to see how it improved on HDK's original tale.

<P>

I thank you for your effort.

thank you both for a great serial story

either I am mellowing in my old age or I am starting to go insane.... I dont see why a great great writer like rpsuch would bother re-doing this story

The tone of the story changed completely when you took over to add your part of the story. It was not a seemless addition. The characters changed drastically. They reacted and behaved differently. The change was drastic enough that I went WTF?

Excellent!

did HDK's story needed this addition? NOO!!!

the addition is nicely written but it made HDK's story less effective.

You said there should be an inside person to this plan so where is the evidence will you be writing more to this story RP.?

Pat

Atlanta,Ga

Nice continuation. I thought he sold himself way too cheap in the original.

...waste of your time and mine. You should have left well enough alone. Furthermore, the story was rather hokey in its original form so how much could you have improved it!

<p>...that when HDK types the last word in one of his stories, the story is finished. Adding more text just to increase the word count just doesn't make sense.</p>

<p>Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally

True, the switch wasn't seemless, but this addition did fix some problems with the original and made an interesting read.

The original did have a good twist contained at the end, but I do like the second chapter. Is good to see the main perp identified and the logic concerning said indentification makes sense.

Unlike some of the readers, I did feel the original needed a tad more to properly end it. I feel you did an excellent job. The folks at the hubby's work did do his wife an injustice and that needed to be addressed, you did that quite well. And, I always like the bad guy/gal to get what is coming to them! So, well done!

this just HAD to be one of the dumbest stories I've ever read, even here in Lit. land... I'm not sure if it'd even work under "satire and humor," though if I found it under that genre, I'd likely not say what I've just said.... it is one of the dumbest nonsense I've read...

Not a very good extention of HDKs original.

Two fine writers!

I liked HDK's ending and I liked this ending also. I thought in HDK’s story that for the amount of humiliation that Donna and Dan went through that the compensation was inadequate considering what the Board had put Donna through. I liked this ending with the better compensation for Dan and Donna; and I also liked the story for solving the crime. I believe this was a good extension to the original story.

I felt that while your extended ending corrected some blemishes in the original and added some details, like upping the compensation; equalizing the humiliation; reversing the pain and anger and finally the suspicion to where they should have gone in the first place –all correct in terms of the spirit of the original, they were not exactly necessary. ************************************************* The original story does stand on its own despite its minimal shortcomings. The gratuitous overzealous use of the moral clause was thoroughly exposed as a red herring and for me that was it. The corrections, loyal to the spirit of the original as they are did not IMO carry enough substance to justify a whole chapter. You did nothing wrong, I am just not convinced that it was necessary for this particular story (I could provide you with a long list of stories that could benefit from your loving and patient overhaul treatment though…).

Which is the tonic of most stories done by HDK. RPSuch has a lot of talent. Why has he stopped posting?

I too enjoy HDK's stories, particurly this one. Unlike KOLKORE, I don't see rpsuch's addition as an attempt to "correct" blemishes or shortcomings of HDK's story. Both being written as "tongue in cheek" humor in the Loving Wives category, I saw it as simply an addition to an already endearing story. "Can't get enough of a good thing." As far as "necessary", one could argue, is any entertainment really necessary. Of course, the answer is no but life would be pretty boring without it. I for one not only enjoyed reading it but greatly appreciated the time and effort it took the author to write it. Thank you

To be fair I rarely disagree with KOLKORE's comments

Having just read both the original and the extension, I am left with only one minor question that wasnt addressed.

Just what is the relationship between Gloria and Donna, that Gloria manages to recognize the tattoo and freckles so well???

And if that issue gets explored, how does that possible scenario play into the 'morality clause' of the company?

Overall, great job done by both HardDaysKnight and RPSuch :)

You made the new ending of a serious (or mostly entirely serious) story into almost a slap-stick comedy worthy of Abbot and Costello, or the Three Stooges. The interesting thing is you pulled it off almost seemlessly. I should have said great addition for title of comment. I just keep thinking that this story with the continuation would have made a really interesting and funny movie.

You have a new fan rpsuch! Strong characters a man with cahoonas (spelling?) and a brilliant women of impeccable character. It seems alot of th writers use castrated husbands and single dimensional women guess it's easier write stories with these elementary charactors

It's cojones.

that was a good addition. your an entertaining writer, please continue.

Didn't do as much for me as I thought it would but still worth reading.

Thanks for the conclusion.

Cahoonas is perfectly acceptable Mid-Western missed-pronunciation of Spanglish. Along with tay-koes, jimmychangos, and helpeenose.

I am surprised that none of the commentators seem to have caught the obvious scramble by Bon for damage control. It took another woman to notice the slight age difference between the woman in the photo's and Bob's wife Donna. But once Donna stripped down, everyone's libido took over front brain cognition.

I am of the opinion that Bob convinced Donna that if she did not want to be trapped as an impoverished divorcee trying to support their children, the trap so many women fall into. That Donna needed to suck-it-up, shave her pussy, find a wig, draw a tattoo on her wahhoo, and put on a convincing performance 'Standing by Her Man' against unjust charges.

Another possibility is that Bob set this whole shenanigan up to get himself out of a dead-end job and a dead-end marriage. All the publicity he would get against his former employers by being able to show that he deliberately sacrificed himself by feeding the fake formula to their competitors, would result in him being headhunted by a number of major corporations for their security operations. With a lot more pay and perks and maybe, if he a very clever boy, one little red-head, hot to trot.

Hell, maybe it was those damn Canadians after all!

Yeah I screwed up and used Bob's name in my fulmination when I should have written Benson.

I know, it was drooling over the redhead that had my libido hijack my brain.

than an outside set-up, TK U MLJ LV NV

a good read ***

Sorry HDK, rpsuch really is one up on you on this story. Love it. I'll give it 4 stars because the original plot still belongs to HDK!

HDK's still up among the top storytellers in my list, especially when I'm impatient for his next installment to Bk 2 of LIR!

...the ending. He made them take notice.

when its an inside slander, TK U MLJ LV NV

I enjoyed that very much. Good follow on to the original story.

you have a lot of just left with no ending stories.

While the story did provide a potential explanation for everything the criminals did what it *didn't* do was accurately interpret the final comment by Mildred in HDK's story...

Mildred wasn't slamming Donna. She was pointing out that the person in the pictures had a beautiful body and, since Donna's face wasn't identifiable, there was no way to let people know that hot babe was even better looking *because* she was a beautiful woman in her 40s vs someone much younger.

It was a compliment of a high order...

And while some of the guys might have been perving on her, some were likely just stunned by her beauty. After all, her own husband was amazed at how spectacular she looked - how much more so would it be for people who'd never had the chance...?

However, I think that HDK story had a sufficient ending.

I perfectly understand he is well respected but in my opinion his stories often end just after the climax. How many stories don't have a satisfying conclusion? Again, I know this will ruffle feathers but many will agree even if they won't admit it

Come on now, the Stooges are no where near in the same class as Bud and Lou, not to mention Stan and Ollie professionally, now personal tragedies are a different story as well as how they were treated by their studios. If Art was going to threaten me with taking away the bonus stock using a morals clause I'd be slowly selling it off for the cash. As for anyone believing that the redhead wasn't his wife, rpsuch since said so it has to be the truth, that is unless someone else continues the story. Signed: BTW

Still a very good story. I like the real loving ones.

You're a clever guy. 5 stars

Loved the original story BUT, I too was offended by the original offer from the Board. Great job bringing it all hom and tying up loose ends. It was clear that it was an inside job.

Thanks for taking the time and sharing.

This continuation illustrates why HDK's stories are cheap and leave the reader wanting. His stories are lazy. They never offer a conclusion. They are bereft of falling action. Many of the observations of character reactions in the original are quite apt.

HDK goes for the cheap laugh or unique scene he imagined upon which his "story" was founded. It's never a complete tale. That takes effort. Quite frankly I loath the gross majority of what he has to offer because I identify it for what it is. Minimal effort. -starsong1977

And the best thing about getting rid of my old account. You all can't email me and tell me to kill myself or that I deserved to be raped. I like it this way.

5 Stars for making me happy.

Very good follow up to HDK. Another good writer discovered thanks to Rhenquist listing you as one of his favorite authors.

Do you know whay happened to Rhenquist? He hasn't published in 10 years?

I sometimes don't like add ons to stories, but this was great. Thanks and a tip of the hat to you. Definitely 5 stars. S. F.

Yayyyy!!!

Yep, this deserves five stars. Original and clever finish to a good story.

GREAT story!!!!!! Congratulations!!!! Really good!!!