All Comments on 'Andrea'

do not listen to that "A ....". Keep writing and if he could write any better I am sure he would still not try his mind is to small.

Just keep writing. Why is it that some people remain anonymous? Is it because they can't afford to join a free site or because they have nothing good to say and wish to hide? I wonder how much time "ANON" wastes reading stories not worth the time it takes to read them? I would have however, saved the anal in this story for a later chapter.

Right up to the ass fucking , totally down hill from there.

You have violated every cardinal rule of writing a good story... incomplete sentences, confusing allusion of "he", single-sentence paragraphs, wrong use of punctuation marks (double quotes and not single quote for ascribing sentence to a character), etc.

I could go on but the point is, write a paragraph that describes your plot and leave it at that. You would do a lot of the readers good by not submitting the flesh of the story. You can keep that to yourself!

But I do wish that the story had included dialogue about her getting pregnant, and telling her father that he was going to be a father and she was going to have his child. I think that would have been really hot.

Thanks for the read

Liked the story but after reading i felt like a lot of details had been left out.

Keep writing.

For someone with over 50 stories under your belt, I'd expect... Well, more. More editing, first and foremost. More confidence in not relying on gimmicky crap like 1-2 sentences per paragraph/line. And for the love of GOD more attention being paid to comma usage.

Seriously. If I had turned your story into a drinking game (Take a drink every time a sentence seems too short, or a comma is used poorly) , I'd have been dead of alcohol poisoning within two minutes.

The comment Uh wow, I partly agree with his little moan, I know I am not a good writer per se, but I have a mind though, I write what I think, it's as simple as that, I go through the stories after writing and alter and 'correct' where it looks bad to me.

If someone can't read a story I write, then please just move on, I won't mind, it won't break my heart.

Thank you to those kind people who leave comments that I would leave, without being rude and abusive

Rex

I have read and enjoyed most of your other submissions, but this particular story was a real bother to read and I was unable to finish it. I’m sure you were trying something creative, bit the format of single sentence paragraphs drove me just as crazy as the writer who has no paragraphs at all. I think that you are a talented erotic writer, but the formatting on this story, at least for my tastes, was extremely unwise.

The very first sentence of this story "John was stood at his kitchen sink.." should have given me a red flag as to what to expect. Get yourself a decent editor/proof reader . . . .