All Comments on 'Andrea the Customer Service Rep'

But then I love it when the girl I am with ejaculates into my warm wet mouth. I also had the time with my second wife peeing into my mouth, I enjoyed that also, but sometimes when she would pee it was very bitter, those times I just let it run out of my mouth and soak into my pillow, it sure is stained alot. da.cd@frontier.com

For a first attempt I thought it was pretty good! You definitely show promise. Your style format was taken pretty much from how one tells a fairy tale which isn't a bad way for a fantasy. Yes you've got a lot to work on. Yes you could use some more dialogue and I know I'd like more story expansion because I thought she sounded very hot. But again, I liked it. I rated it highly and I encourage you to keep going!

Go read some actual literature for some lessons on how people actually speak.

It just seemed a bit rushed... lots of run ons.

short, sweet, but could have done with more depth

Good quick story...a little to fast developing though.