by Khawk
Please have someone proof your work. The spelling mistakes are distracting.
The story was sent through the editor program. Also the first chapter is just to get to know the charecters......what part confused you?
I like the start of the story. You might consider asking someone to edit/proofread for you, however that has nothing to do with the story as a whole. I like the writer angle you've taken. I look forward to the rest of this story and will be watching for it.
The story is OK, but not the last line. And you editor obviously only checks spelling, not context. Get a human to read it through.
Stan
The story has been edited again and has been submited