All Comments on 'Another Sexless Night'

Liked story, write more, thanks.

Over-the-top, and in the wrong category.<p>You may have talent, but this entry needs polishing. It read like a parody of cheap Harlequin romance novels.<p>In addition, you certainly need to pay more attention to the fact some of us do not care for this subject matter. Had you labelled this as Anal, I'd have skipped it altogether, and we'd both be a little happier right about now.

Decent first effort. The copy is clean and the story flows pretty well. The one thing to watch are all the sex-story cliches. I cringe every time I see the word 'member' in reference to a penis. A little character development would also help. Who are they? Why has this couple drifted apart? What do they look like? Things like that add depth to the story without necessarily being a burden. This isn't a great story, but I've seen plenty from more experienced contributors that were far worse. You could be very good with some practice. Keep working at it.

Nothing stood out as a stretch, so you did that well.

However I have a couple of suggestions:

First, hearken back to jr. high English and remember that conversation should be a separate paragraph. Nothing ensures that the words of the characters will be lost like leaving them nestled in the bowels of a paragraph.

Spend a little time on character development. And don't worry too much about what category to place everything in.

Cheers

I'm not a writer or do I pretend to be the God of Lit. like "some of the rest on here" - I come to this site to read a good story like I just did and not to make you feel like a fool.! My Dad always said if you can't say anything good _ then keep your mouth shut.! Really liked your story and the context of where it went.!! Thanks & keep writing.

To those who said to keep writing. Thank you. I know I have a lot to learn about writing. This was my first story, and as the disclaimer at the beginning said, it was written, using some pregiven words for a writing exercise to write an "erotic story". The words, included those such as "member" I personally would not normally use these words, It was a writing exercise and I wanted some feedback on what to do to improve.

To Annon in Tampa.

I apolgize that it was in the wrong catagory. I had submitted it under Anal. I had no idea how it ended up in Loving Wives, other than I may have made a mistake. I had no desire to offend anyone that didn't want to read it. My apologies to you. As I said, I know it needs polishing and more. I'm still learning.

To all. I will read the pointers and use them to help me with my second story. I see already some areas I need to work on with it and will take the time to correct them. I still may make mistakes, but I do learn from them.

Anal doesn't normally do anything for me. It's just not my thing however the writing flows well and the story is credible. So from that stand point well done and well written. I hope you continue writing. I may not like all your stories but for a first time effort it's very good.

Sometimes the category of a story will be changed. I see no problem with this being a Loving Wives story. She certainly loved him and wanted to keep him. And vice versa.

As for the writing, you did very well for a first story, and show much promise. Keep them coming!

A nice piece of work! Maybe you could have written it out of just one perspective, the male one in this case, but all in all a nice piece of work, very sensual. I look forward to your next tales!

It's always nice when a married couple rekindle their love for each other.

Category ... addressed earlier.

Neglect ... Sweetie had cut Hubby off (or cut him way back) because she thought he was too concentrated on his work (incidentally, the work that fed them and housed them.) All of a sudden Sweetie decides to seduce this workaholic?

Drought ... Newly horny, Sweetie decides to renew their relationship with something she's never done before? No suggestion that he had asked about (or tried) the Hershey Highway before - and been shut down? ... Or had expressed his belief it was nasty and it turned him off? It seems disjointed to me! And there is no suggestion that he has any experience or advice about conducting his initial butt-fuck with a Ventral Virgin. A lot of ways to mess it up but Hubby is expected to do it just right.

A Fork in the Road ... How does Sweetie's unexplained (mostly) sexual disinterest tie in with Sweetie's interest in attempting a new sexual practice. Either one might provide an interesting read, but WHAT connects those two different threads?

3*

Title ... Inaccurate title. "The Drought Cums to an End!"

Good story, I liked it.

At long last! A Loving Wife tale about a loving wife...about time! Cheers

Good first effort, but it needed more character development and background. Example: why had Tanya been distant; what had caused her to change? Why offer him her ass now when she had always refused to do so. Inquiring minds want to know. Three stars ⭐️ for this one.