by bigpapabare
Story might be decently done. But seriously some edit work could greatly improve how easily it is read. There is extrememly too much use of ... for which 99.999% can be removed, and things like nnnnnnnoooooooooooowwwwwwww for emotions when a better option is NOW, does the same.
I have just finished all three parts and it was very well done. Thank you so much for writing it. It does give me ideas.
Very nicely put together bigpapabare. I loved the oral training sessions.
A lot can happen in 26HRS,perhaps enough for you to add a chapter or two in this excellent series.You can also get extended warranties you know?
A first class story,very erotic,the commentator who mentioned the various .... etc. in the text,try reading this as if it was a script for a play,then you will see the significance of these pauses and sexual vocal points.
What a sadistic thing to do,what about at least a detailed account of the warranty time.
To give him a taste for a day or two and then cut him off. This game could be played for a long time without any harm. Yes, I realize that it is just a story.
I don't like to be teased if it does not eventually result in a good payoff.