by The_New_Mr_E
Good story, hot and erotic, you really should continue with another chapter or two. Daddy could show her what it feels like to be well fucked, with a weekend long fuck session Thanks
some constructive critism: you are is abbreviated to you're, not your - as in 'Your Daddy has a big cock.' 'You're (you are) going to fuck me, aren't you Daddy?' It is a small but very annoying error that people often make. Now to the good things: it is so good to read a story where the daughter didn't automatically turn into a cumslut - utterly vile phrase! - and there wasn't even a hint of violence. Thank you for an arousing Daddy tale. keep working on your writing and good luck.
My favorite writer on this site is Shoguy. Her stories are without a doubt the best on this site. You should read her's.The story that will best help you is Sinful High Class Mom. I do like the older men(60 ish) and teens, also the 11-to-12 inch endowment is perfect! Those combination's, plus stockings and high heels and men who stop at nothing to obtain what they want are explosive!
In general it was OK. You went from her dad asking her about lunch to her in bed. Things progressed too quickly...there was not much seduction involved. There were also spelling errors that detract from the story itself. I am sure that you can do better as you seem very motivated...keep at it.
I loved it, but I do believe it should have a slower bring up. Maybe have her be more subtle next time. Also I think instead of penetrating her her dad should FUCK her. More dirty language. Other than that I loved it!
Great story, but I would run it through Grammarly for some spell checks, nothing too bad, but I did notice a few including:
"I think we past 'bad' a while back Honeysuckle!" should be passed. Otherwise, really hot story.