As You Are Ch. 06

I left the happy couple with a smile and moved to the door. I backed off when I saw Jacob and Michael talking in the hallway. From the look on their faces whatever they were talking about was serious and they didn't notice me. I couldn't hear what they were talking about but Michael was getting irritated. I felt bad for eavesdropping but I couldn't help it.

Michael turned to leave but Jacob grabbed him by the hand and pulled him to him. He slammed his lips on Michael and my vision greyed. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Michael was kissing him back, or at least that's what I saw since my vision was turning blurry. I gasped as I backed away from the door. Both of them tore their lips from each other and looked at me. Michael's eyes widened when he saw me and I saw a devilish smile play on Jacob's face.

"Oh my god Shaun." Michael gasped as I backed away and ran. I bumped into people on the dance floor but I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there. I pushed the doors open and ran outside. It was dark already and I didn't quite know where I was going. The need for air forced me to stop and I leaned against the brick wall to catch my breath. Endless tears ran over my face and my heart hurt.

I couldn't believe Michael would do this to me, with Jacob of all people. I felt so betrayed. How could he do this to me, right after we had made love a few hours ago? I was so sure that he loved me, but I guess I was wrong. I mean if he did love me why would he kiss Jacob? Were they having an affair behind my back? I stopped pacing as a thought occurred to me. Maybe I was wrong about this. Maybe Jacob was the one kissing Michael and he was just stunned to do anything. Maybe I was overreacting. I heard laughter behind me and looked around. There was a terrace door on my left and I peered through it.

I saw the party guests laughing and I sighed. I caught a glimpse of Olive and Matt looking around with worried faces and backed away from the door. I didn't want to deal with this right now. I closed my eyes but the image of Jacob and Michael popped in my head. I was busy debating with myself that I was startled when I saw Jacob standing there with a smile on his face.

"Ah, there you are." He said with a chuckle. Inside I was dying to punch that smile from his face.

"What do you want Jacob?"

"I thought you left. Honestly I would have loved to be right."

"Leave me alone."

"And miss a chance to see you cry your pretty little eyes out? Not a chance honey."

"Are you happy now?" He laughed at me and I felt defeated and stupid.

"Actually I've come to make sure you leave and never come back. I do admit that taking your weird little friends with you would make me a lot happier but I know Michael cares about them. I don't know why since they are as boring as you. But don't worry I will make sure they disappear just like you soon enough. Then we can all get on with our lives don't you think?"

"You are so evil."

"Oh please I'm a realist. I know what I want and I always get it. I warned you to leave before I decided to take him from you but you didn't listen."

"You didn't take him away from me. For all I know you kissed him. Actually that wouldn't surprise me since it's so you. I may be hurt right now but I'm not letting him go without a fight. After this I'm going back in there and talk to him. I wanna hear his side of this." His gaze shifted for a second and his smile lessened.

"There's no need. Michael doesn't want to talk to you."

"I'd rather hear that from him."

"I think not."

"I don't need your permission to talk to my boyfriend Jacob."

"Just do us a huge favour and leave Shaun and while you're at it, don't come back." I looked at him in disbelief.

"You are crazy and I can't believe that none of your friends ever noticed that. And I've been so stupid for letting you bully me into leaving Michael. I should have told him about this the moment you started threatening me."

"But you didn't because deep down you knew he wouldn't believe you. I'm the one he values more than you."

"You're lying."

"Am I? He didn't back away when I kissed him did he? And if it wasn't for you we would have done more right there. I just wish you would have walked in a few minutes later while I was..."

"You fucking prick!" I was angry now and about to slap him when he caught my hand.

"Aren't we feisty?"

"Let go of me!" I snapped at him and pushed him out of my way. I tried to open the door but he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from it.

"Let's face it Shaun, your no match for me and you never were. You're just a silly little boy in a relationship over his head. I mean you don't even know what to do with a guy like Michael. Don't you see that you're just wasting your time? You will never make him as happy as I will so why don't you make our lives easier and just disappear out of our lives."

"Get your hands off me!" I slapped his hands away from me in anger.

"I'll be glad to, you're not exactly my type. You're just worthless trash just like those stupid friends of yours. I will enjoy getting rid of them just I will with you." He snickered, but his smile disappeared when his eyes went to the door. I saw all the colour leave his face and turned to see what the cause for his change was. I gasped when I saw Michael standing at the door with clenched fists and anger in his eyes. Olive and Matt were standing there as well.

"Michael, hey." Jacob stammered. "How long have you been standing there?" he asked.

"Long enough." Michael replied. It dawned on Jacob what that meant and he started to explain.

"It's not what you think see..."

"Really, because from where I'm standing you were threatening my boyfriend."

"No you don't understand."

"So I just imagined this?" he asked as he stepped closer. I looked at Jacob and saw him swallow.

"Well?" he asked again. Jacob opened his lips but nothing came out. After a few seconds he finally spoke.

"He needed to know that you and I belong together Mike. We love each other."

"You and I are just friends Jacob and I don't know where the hell you got the idea that we were more than that. You know what, this sure explains a lot, like why Shaun has been moody all the time and closes up whenever I ask him what the problem is. I turn my back for just a second and this is what you do, you threaten him to leave me? Is that why you kissed me, you wanted him to see that?"

"I'm doing this because we belong together. All of this is for us."

"There is no us!" He roared in anger startling all of us.

"You stay the hell away from us you hear me!" He warned and took my hand. I was still a bit scared and just obeyed when he dragged me across the dance floor.

"I'm not letting him take you from me Michael. You belong with me." Jacob called out and people turned to look at us. The music stopped and there was silence.

"Don't let him tears us apart Michael. He's not the right guy for you please." Jacob begged as he walked towards us.

"You are not the right guy for me and you made sure there was no us when you left me Jacob. And I'm glad you did because you gave a chance to find real love. I'm so in love with him. What I felt for you is nothing compared to what I feel for him. You have to let me go because I did that a long time ago." Michael said as he turned away Jacob. Jacob looked shocked and angry.

"You're lying!"

"Just stop this now before you embarrass yourself further."

"I won't let him take you from me." Jacob shouted but we kept walking. Suddenly I was grabbed from behind and slapped across the face. The force of the blow was so strong that I saw stars and fell down on the floor, tasting blood in my mouth. I felt tears fall on my face and people gasped. I barely saw Michael move in front of me and punch Jacob in the face. He fell down in shock and looked at Michael as blood came pouring out of his nose. He was about to do more when Mark and Chase came out of nowhere and held him back.

"Were done." Michael said as he turned to me and took my hand and we walked away. The drive home was silent. My face hurt and I was getting a headache. I unlocked the door to my apartment and got in with Michael behind me. As I set the keys on the table he walked to the kitchen. I heard ruffling in the kitchen and he came back with a pack of ice in a wash cloth and pressed it gently against my face. He worked in silence and I couldn't read his face. He sat there and looked at me for a while and finally spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked and I looked down in shame.

"Look at me Shaun." It was a command and I found myself looking up to face him. Unlike earlier he looked calm.

"All this time he was doing this and you never bothered to tell me about it. Are you happy that I had to find out like this?"

"No I..." he didn't give me a chance to respond and cut me off.

"Now you know how I felt when you confronted me about me and Jacob." I looked away from him.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything Michael, but I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of this. I didn't want us to fight about it."

"That is one fucked up reason Shaun and you know it. Why don't I just say it for you since you can't seem to say it?"

"What do you mean? I just said..."

"You thought I wouldn't believe you didn't you? You really thought I would take his side?" I chocked on my words. He saw the truth on my face and got up from the couch. He let out a frustrated laugh as his hands went through his hair. "I can't believe this!"

"Michael please I can explain." He cut me off again.

"You don't think I love you enough to believe you Shaun."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to. How many times must I tell you until it gets through that thick skull of yours that I love you? I, love, you Shaun and I'm so fucking angry at you for not trusting me with this." He was seething with anger and I was scared now.

"You should have said something the moment he started this but you kept it to yourself. I was so worried about you because I didn't know what was eating away at you. And I blamed myself for making you sad. Shaun do you even want to be with me?" I looked up at him in shock.

"Yes Michael I want to be with you. I love you."

"I doubt that very much. You have proven to me that you're not ready to be in a relationship, with anyone."

"I said I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, and I promise this won't happen again." I apologized but he just stood there looking at me.

"Michael..."

"I need to get out of here." He walked to the door and I tried to follow him but he turned to look at me. His gaze was cold as ice and it stopped me in my tracks.

"Michael please don't leave." I begged with a sob as the tears started falling.

"I don't wanna talk to you right now."

"But..."

"There is absolutely nothing you can say that will stop me from leaving Shaun so please just shut up!" He warned as he opened the door and slammed it behind him. I sank down to the floor as sobs erupted from me. I heard the door open and someone kneel beside me. i could smell jasmine shampoo and I knew it was Olive. I clung to her as I cried for the man I loved. .............. When I woke up I was in bed and Olive was beside me. I must have cried myself to sleep last night and I felt tears fall down my face as I recalled what had happened. Michael had walked out on me and it was the greatest pain I've ever felt in my life. I got out of bed and padded to the kitchen where Matt was drinking coffee. He looked up when he saw me.

"Hey."

"Hi." I replied without looking at him. "Thanks for carrying me to bed." I said and poured myself a cup and sat with him on the table.

"It's nothing, you and Olive weigh the same." We stayed quiet but I could feel his eyes on me. I looked up at him as my lips trembled.

"I should have listened to you. You were right Matt, I should have told Michael everything. This is the part where you say you told me so."

"You're right it is, but I'm not going to Shaun. It won't change what happened." Out of frustration I sat up and paced the kitchen.

"You should have seen his face when he stormed out of here Matt. He hated me."

"He was angry that's all."

"And I made him that way. Oh god what was I thinking hiding this from him?"

"You didn't want to ruin a great friendship and if you think that's selfish you're wrong. You put your feelings aside and put him first Shaun and that's noble of you."

"It was stupid."

"No it wasn't. You are a good person but right now you're mistaking your kindness for stupidity because of your broken heart."

"I was stupid and now I've lost the man I love."

"You haven't lost him."

"How do you know that Matt? You weren't here when he walked out."

"Just give him time ok. He will eventually see that you were just trying to protect him from finding out that his friend was a total bitch." I looked over at him surprised that he had used Olive's words. He chuckled a bit and I joined him. It felt wrong to do that but I needed it at the moment. As my laughter died I looked away as the tears threatened to come back.

"I'm right you know? He will forgive you."

"I hope so." I replied sadly as he wrapped me in his arms. I sighed and let him comfort me. ........... I walked to the door my heart thumping in my chest. I was always hopeful that the minute I opened it Michael's face would appear, but I was always disappointed. Today was no exception. When I saw Chase standing there I hurt even more. Tears welled up in my eyes and sighed.

"Hey." He said and looked me over.

"Hi umm...sorry I thought..."

"It was Michael I know." I looked at him and wiped the tears away.

"Can I come in?" I let him in and closed the door.

"I wanted to check on you."

"You didn't have to."

"I wanted to, you're my friend Shaun. And I care about you." I looked at him in surprise.

"You're not angry at me?"

"No I'm not. Michael told me what happened and I think you acted stupid as hell, but in a way I kinda get why you did it." "I messed up Chase" I cried out as he held me in his arms. "Now Michael doesn't want to see me. He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you Shaun, he loves you."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. He doesn't answer my calls or texts. All he ever did was tell me he needed time. That tells me all I need to know." I sobbed in his arms.

"He's just angry and you need to give him time." I pulled away and looked at him.

"How much time are we talking about here?"

"Enough. Trust me when I tell you that he will come around." There was something in the way he said it that made me wonder.

"He's done this before?" I asked and watched Chase sigh.

"Yeah but I won't talk about it. It's better to just let him deal with it. I know that from experience." I nodded and hesitated before asking.

"What happened with Jacob after we left?" he sighed and gave a sad smile.

"You are so weird."

"Why do you say that?"

"You're asking me about Jacob when he's to blame for all of this?" I tried to say something but he cut me off.

"Were nothing more than business partners now and Michael doesn't even want to speak to him. i feel like killing him and Mark just tolerates him because of his wife." I smiled a bit and looked at him and saw him blush. Something told me it wasn't because of what he just told me. I could have sworn his eyes lingered on my lips and I blushed when I realized that. We talked for a while and he got even more uncomfortable.

"Umm I should get going." He mumbled as he got up from the couch. I followed him and touched his hand. He looked back at me and diverted his gaze.

"Thanks for checking up on me. It really means a lot."

"It's no biggie, like I said you're my friend just like he is. And just so you know, he's just as miserable up as you are. He misses you too." I felt a bit better knowing he was hurting just as I was.

"Really?" I asked as hope filled me.

"Yeah, he's always looking at photos of you on his phone with a sulky look on his face. It's sooo pathetic." We chuckled a bit and looked at each other again.

"Ok let me get going. Will you be ok?"

"Hmm? Yes I'll be fine. Olive and Matt are coming by later."

"Good, I will call you later ok."

"Ok." He hesitated at the door and turned to me.

"He would be an idiot to let go of someone like you." He said and left me standing there with a surprised look on my face. I was convinced that Chase had a crush of sorts for me. As I stood there watching him leave I made up my mind. As hard as it was going to be for me I was going to give Michael some space. I wasn't going to call him or even text him. I was going to let him make up his mind about us in peace. .......... The moment I closed the door behind me I sighed in relief. It felt good to be home and a hot and soothing bath felt like a great idea at the moment. I walked over to the couch and dumped the load of files I took from work and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Work was very hectic today because a colleague hadn't made it in so most of the work he had to do was given to me. I nearly went out of my mind trying to finish up half of the audit reports on my desk and I knew I had to take some of it home if I planned to be done with them within the two weeks deadline. At least it kept me preoccupied and I didn't have to think about Michael that much. There was a knock on my door and I frowned. I couldn't imagine who it was this late at night. When I opened the door I went to shut it but the hand stopped me.

"Ah. Ah... Now that's not nice of you." Jacob said with an evil look on his face. The bruising on his nose was still visible but fading.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came here to talk."

"Are you kidding me? After what you did you think I would want to listen to anything you have to say to me?"

"I'm not asking for your permission here Shaun. And yes I don't blame you for hating my guts I mean I did slap you across the face. Wish I could have done worse but well."

"Leave my apartment right now!" I yelled at him and tried to shut the door but he pushed me back. He was stronger and bigger and I was no match for him.

"I'm not here to hurt you so please relax."

"I said leave Jacob and don't come back."

"I didn't come all this way for nothing honey.

You will listen to what I have to say coz you owe me that much for taking Michael away from me." he was crazy as hell so I shut my mouth and listened just so he would leave soon.

"Michael hates me and it's all your fault." My fists clenched as I fought the urge to punch him in the face.

"I should feel sorry for myself after what happened but I hear things are not good for you too. And honestly I'm happy that either one of us doesn't get to be with him. If you're just as miserable as I am then that's all the motivation I need to get up in the morning. And now it's my turn to make you hate him just like you made him hate me."

"What are you talking about Jacob?"

"He told me about the rape." I looked at him in shock. "And I gotta say I totally get why you're just like this." He gestured to me as his eyes regarded me with disgust. To say I was shocked was an understatement.

"You're lying."

"Really, then how do you think I knew? You know, it explains a lot too. Like why you look so lost and pathetic all the time it made me sick. I gotta hand it to you though. You're a great actor and an even bigger liar. We both know that no one raped you. You fabricated the whole thing to make yourself a victim and to make Michael fall for you. We all know what a caring guy he is and he fell for it hook line and sinker."

"You bustard!" I screamed at him and pushed him away from the door.

"Whoa there, no need to get rough with me." he put up his hands in surrender and smiled.

"Get out!"

"With pleasure. Wouldn't want to stand this close to you and get contaminated with your filthy lies. God you're such a fucking loser. I really don't know what Michael ever saw in you."