All Comments on 'Ask Me Again In Twenty Years'

Damn, you write so well. Thanks

Jack

I believe that you are correct this is indeed your category.

I love your works. You are one of my favorite authors.

Lived it per usual, BUT WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH:

Finding an Editor!!!!!!

That is the question.

Wonderful writer has composed a very enjoyable story, that could have actually happened in real life. Admittedly the characters move through things quickly and sometimes a bit unreal. I really enjoyed this entry and will be reading more from this fine author-keep them coming!

You write in reverse.

Seriously, your stories essentially end with a once-wronged man who has risen from the ashes, all head and shoulders above the bitch who wronged him. You work backward from there to the cheating, and then front-load the details.

The cheating is just sort of a black box, a Heisenberg compensator, and is NEVER adequately explained. It's just deus ex machina, and it's unsatisfying.

You're right about one thing: this was a romance, and many of the best LW stories are both cheating stories which end with romance.

Get a fucking editor.

great writing.

No problem for me. My favorite category.

Good story.

So. When ARE you going to finish "Looking for an Editor"?

Anonymous Andy

If it had put in LW it would have caught a lot more flack but here the commentaries are but back ground music. I really was curious what she could have possibly said in order to explain what she did... She fell in love with another guy and for got all he had represented in her life.

Looking forward to Finding an Editor Ch. 3

Thanks for sharing.

It seems pretty much formulaic. Someone's significant Other cheats on them, and they want to write a story in which they can record every detail. Every monotonous detail. Everything they think is significant (and NOTHING is IN-significant, as far as they're concerned).

I still got the impression that this wasn't a complete work of fiction. I still got a strong impression that your significant Other cheated on you, with a black guy, and kept on seeing him after ASSURING you they were done. I got a really, really strong impression that you were writing this story from the point of view that it had a strong basis in fact.

So, either you managed to make the formula work, for you, when so many others just end up sounding whiny and boring, OR, you're a brilliant writer who was able to convince a skeptic that you were the patsy of a cheater, when in fact you were not.

Either way, nice story.

If Sarah was 8 years older and he was five years older than El, then Sarah was 13 when El was born. Or did I miss something. Normally your work is just suburb and quite interesting. I became stuck on this issue in this story.

Excellent and interesting romantic story. Strange the daughter would do what she did, but it worked out OK for everybody eventually.

I think you could write a bondage (not my most favorite thing on earth) story and I would still love it. 5 Stars as always.

I've enjoyed pretty much all of your work and again you didn't let me down. Yours is one of the few names I watch for on the New stories page. Thanks for the entertainment.

Thanks for sharing this very entertaining story.

for some a lifetime, for others a mirage of events, TK U MLJ LV NV

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for another wonderful submission.

I could not fault the story. (Except, maybe, for the ages of Sarah and Else.)

Your other threads are great and need to be addressed

My only question was how or why they didn't look for Elsa when she left. I would have thought, as a man, he would have wanted to get some questions answered and make sure he wanted to divorce her. As her Mother Sarah would have wanted to know where her child was and if she was safe. Other than those two minor questions, it was a good read.

Always Top Drawer writing

Your writing shows essentially no growth despite the category. The style is simplistic and unimaginative. Your plots are best described as "Confederate Fantasy"; black women crave the white male protagonist and black men are sex-starved for white women and ultimately irresponsible. Try to improve.

I'll let you know if you should just stick to this genre. But this was very good.

I can see you have put thought into the plot. Admittedly there might be holes that make things look a little illogical at times, but how can people be so negative? You didn't charge them a dime and they can close the browser if they don't like it,

Keep up the good work.

But for my simple brain it was confusing, Kind of like having double cousin's, you know were two brother's marry two sister's. Try to explaine that after you're drunk. "Yah, this is my Mom, but she's also my second cousin, or my Aunt, or Hell, I just don't fucking know.

He made out in the end - we do have the unanswered questions about what the fuck happened to Else - likely she was too young to be married to him in the first place and the hormones gave way to curiosity which gave way to stupidity and bad judgement -

It did seem like she never did quite get it though so she never did understand what her mother did or why??

To get an explanation of why Elsa had the affair. Did she not love him, how did she meet her lover was it as basic as she had to have a bigger guy?

But again loved your story . Yes, I agree romance is your thing!

4 was as high as I could get.

...if the want to turn into romances - let them. We all need some romance in our lives, and in our reading.

Frankly, she deserved more pain.....your story though.

I really enjoyed this one. Good believable characters; Easy suspension of disbelief; AND a happy ending. Who could want more?

After a recent family tragedy, I have tears running down my face as I read about the love and care of family in your closing paragraphs!

thanks

Marvelous story, really perfect for when I'm in the mood for that perfect cheated on but got the best revenge tale.

Everything I've come to expect from your writing. Thank you

And what's wrong with Romance and a happy ending? I bet there aren't many who can't do with a little more happiness in their lives.

Thank you and keep up the good work.

Not only ur story but also that u will be writing for romance section only. I will keep on checking for all ur new stories as I prefer romance section. I dont like to run in other categories half as much. Sometimes sci fi has got good ones but romance section is best for me. Even if no sex.. just the love part makes me keep on reading :)

Thanks for a great story :)

i'm 43 years old , in fairly good shape ...

fuck me , i have trouble breathing sometimes when i read this Author's stories.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

...that you've written actually. Was fast paced with very little in the way of "Sexy Time", but the tale you told was lovely none the less.

Really really good, but way too fast, like trying to race a bullet train

I'd like some explanation for why she went back to her lover after being so broken up when he was first exposed.

you don't give up writing altogether. We would miss you. Another great one, BTW.

and go for 50=60 etc...TK U MLJ LV NV

REALLY GOOD STORY IN MY FAVORITES. ELSA CHEATS BUT WHY NO REASON GIVEN. SARAH MARRIED A LOVING MAN AND SHE LOVED HIM.

I KNOW SARAH AND HER HUSBAND ARE TO OLD FOR A SEQUEL BUT WHAT ABOUT ELSA.

RON TEXAS COWBOYRIDECC@YAHOO.COM

Q, I liked the story, but as others have commented, I'd have liked to know why El cheated. Did she like black cock? Bigger cock? Did she want a younger guy? Wasn't she getting enough at home?

I agree, you do good romance romance.

she didn't go back, she never left him.

Really enjoyed the story from start to finish! As a few others have commented on,I would have liked to have seen a little more on how El came to meet ,and cheat,with her adulterous boyfriend. Have to figure that they were soul mates in that each left people that they loved to be with each other. Also,can't quite believe that El would just totally give up Robbie,never having any contact at all as he grew up. (Would also have been interesting to know her feelings about her ex hooking up with her mother.) Finally,shouldn't there have been some conflict,or at least awkwardness in having Barry and Sarah meeting up with El's other kids considering that they were fathered by the guy who was responsible for Barry & El's break-up? ~ I still loved the story and the writer did a fine job,but those were a few things that gave me pause to consider while reading.

In my favorites and I have read it many times.

Just curious why did she cheat(and he left her alone) Eli gave up Barry for this Why?

Maybe you could write a story her explaining why she destroyed her marriage and never saw her son. Again. She said that she did not love him SO WHY??????????

Ron. Texas.

cowboyridecc@yahoo

He was a kind and loving husband, father, etc. I really like the end with the anniversaries. Today is our 46th anniversary, and hoping to have many more with her.

Transplanted Mississippi older guy in Baton Rouge, LA

I, too, would like to know both why Elsa cheated, and why she cheated AGAIN after Barry took her back?

And while this was certainly romantic, doesn't Elsa's cheating make this a Loving Wives story?

“He's yours honey. Why can't you forgive me?" – Um, maybe because you called your lover?

“her mood had improved” – Probably because she’s seeing Lover Boy again.

I'm frankly surprised that Elsa wants to be around them, knowing how he feels, and seeing what she lost.

I do not like many of the other categories but I did enjoy this. I will try again.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

Why did she do it? She had a man that loved her a good life and a family that loved her. I guess she is one of the people that cannot see the forest for the trees. She said she did not love him that she loved her husband( Barry). Maybe you might want to consider writing a follow up story on El as to why she was hell bent on destroying a very good life and marriage. 5 Stars and in my favorites. My feelings it is a cross between Loving Wives and a Romance story.

Ron. Texas

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

guess she thought things were better with the boy friend . he ended up with the right 1

After everything he did for her why would she ruin it by cheating, i would really like to read it again in El's point of view..

good writing looking forward

to next.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

WHY did she do it. ? Maybe one day you will write a story from Elsa point of view whey she did what she did.

Ron Texas

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

and work well.

thanks for writing in this category.

only because it worked out for him, trading up, that is. because the wife is older, is she going to die and the daughter step back in?

He is about halfway between the mother and daughter in age and she had the daughter when she was quite young.

She was eight years older than him.

Since women often live a few years longer than men the odds are that he wouldn't outlive her by that long.

The average was 7 years but has gone down, (more women smoke than men these days)

Why not tell why Elsa cheated? Although it may not be important to the story, without it, the story is incomplete. Also, even though Barry ends up with a happy ending, I really like reconciliation. Since Elsa and Barry didn't reconcile, the story didn't end as good (my definition, of course) as it could have. You are the author and, of course, its your story to end the way you want.

She cheated because she was an arrogant, self-centered cheating bitch who had no respect for her husband or for any promises of convenience she'd made. In the end, she got far better than she deserved, which is criminal considering what she did. She should have lived the rest of her life in misery.... looking in from the outside at the comfort and joys that she would have enjoyed sharing and been part of, if only she hadn't chosen the path of betrayal to become a cheap slut and a whore.

There had to be some underlying reason for her to cheat or maybe that was just her internal makeup. I do think that she was jealous of the relationship between her husband and her mother but she had no reason to be

Barry wound up with the better woman in the end and she truly loves him as he does her. To bad Elsa threw all that love away and the rat ran out and left her with small children. Will there be a follow up story??? Only one person knows and that is(g)

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

Just one of these stories that you had to read again. In the end true love prevailed. He got a good woman to love and she got a good man to love. Her daughter the first wife said she did not love the person that she was having the affair with So wonder why she had it than promised it was over but he caught them together. SHE gave UP a good man for WHAT???

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

Why would anyone want to reconcile with that train wreck.

You are usually smarter than this story. She has an affair. Show no signs of true remorse. Breaks no contact. And he gives her another chance because the baby was his? Sorry He doesn't look like the pathetic whimp you made him. I didn't like it at all.

usauly your storys are captivating and you what to read more but sadly to say this guy was a great guy in the beginning but that stopped pretty sutten realy hate wimp's

"to find her place in his bed occupied by another." - You would have thought that would have made her more sensitive to cheating!

"I drove her back to the apartment she shared with three other girls." - How did she get there, since she apparently didn't drive herself?

"If it's mine, I'll try to work it out. If it's black, we're done." - Even if it's his, the fact that she's still seeing the other guy would argue against staying with her!

I'm sorry, I know she's Sarah's daughter, but I NEVER would have welcomed her at family functions.I can BARELY accept Sarah helping with an apartment and job.

Sarah wants to go see Elsa?

Go then and plan on finding a place to live afterwards.

As for bringing the black half breeds into my home, much less giving them money well, they can continue to exist with their cheating slut of a mother, let her support them.

I really enjoyed this one. Thank you for posting it.

This is technically incest, and legally not permissible, not at all.

Sorry anon 1/2... Marrying your mother-in-law is not considered incest either legally or morally. He is not related to her by blood. And this is not an unusual relationship. Interesting that the daughter of his ex-wife is his granddaughter. Reminds me of the song 'I'm my own grandpa' (Google it).

I cannot say what I would have done about the half-black relatives, I hope that I would have accepted them as he did. I do have a half-black something down the line which I have NOT accepted, it is a longer story involving a drug dealer etc. I think the mother of this child is now in jail (where she belongs). Such is life...

You, sir, are a bigoted asshole. You may hate the fact that the ex-wife left for another man but these kids are his present wife's grandkids. Obviously he has no use for the ex-wife, which is understandable, but what have these kids done to him? He has the means to help them and please his wife at the same time. It also helps his ego to prove, if only to himself, that he's a better man than the POS that fathered them. What better way to finally stick it to that jack-off than to steal his kids from him and prove to the ex that he is the better man. Giving her buyers remorse is a bitch.

Hollywood subliminally forces issue of race on us. For every one time a white male is shown in relationship with black female there are a hundred black male white female couples. Given demographics that ratio is unrealistic but is subtle way of indoctrinating American society into accepting one type of bi-racial couple while demeaning other.

I do not care about ''mixed couples'' but at least make it 50-50.

I have had two long-lasting relationships with wonderful black women. The end came not from hostility from our Caucasian friends and my family but from the constant denigration of my girlfriend from blacks...cruel hateful comments were made to them...RACISM IS NOT COLOR BLIND

Same black males who crowed about giving it to whitey by knocking up some white girl were furious that one of the ''sistas'' were giving it up to some cracker. Those are their words cleaned up.

About ten years ago I married a beautiful Polynesian woman, we have three wonderful children.

I realize this comment has little to do with story but I get perturbed by segments of society sublimanlly brainwashing us that one variation of bi-racial couples is acceptable and the other is not

You're out of your mind... there are very few major movies portraying black male/white female... but every single time a black actress reaches a certain level of promenance she then invariably has to be paired with a white leading man... and usually only white men after that... where you get your ideaa from I have no idea... in fact the only time a black male was paired with a white woman as husband and wife in a damn cerial commercial. .. white america lost it's mind and started boycotting the damn cerial company...

-jaye-

Do not understand the younger or first wife thinking of why she would throw away a man that loved her and she said she loved??

Now her mother Sara was a one man woman and you could tell that she carried for Barry for quite some time. 5* in my favorites have read numerous times.

Ron/cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

Umm... no one boycotted Cheerios because of that commercial. No one outside of liberal bloggers manufacturing outrage were upset by it. If you think otherwise you may need to delete your facebook and twitter accounts and go outside for a change.

I love Romance the best so I read many Loving Wives stories. I had to quit those because they hurt me so much and kept me awake at night. QHML1 is one of the very best writers on Literotica. Every story 5 stars every time...

Please add series from Elsa point of view...there is so much material there

This was great. Have to agree with Jonny0432. Romance has come to be my favorite. Too angry reading loving wives. Thank you.

Drama, romance, regret, remorse, love, failure, accomplishment, happiness, and joy.

In other words, life lived to the fullest.

What saddens me most is the tenor of the comments.

Again. Thank you so much.

I've seen this before where my friends wife said she was pregnant and having an affair so just like in the hospital I chased after the guy and he got away. We confronted his wife and I grabbed the cellphone and called him and he said the exact same thing he didn't want to kick my ass. And I quote "Who's ass were you gonna kick all I saw was a bitch running away from me because he knew I was gonna kill his stupid ass." And after his wife got out of the hospital he decided to pay a visit at the house but what he didn't know was we were having a party so when he walked in he saw me and tried to swing and after he missed tried to pull a gun on me and after I knocked it outta his hands he went to the hospital for a concussion 4 broken ribs and I have to say a broken pelvis because not only were me and my friends having a party my brothers and sisters were there and he endangered all of us when he pulled a gun so after he got out of the hospital he went straight to jail because he was a felon. My friend ended up divorcing his wife and falling in love with her mom just like this story and I'm happy to announce that they are still married and going strong with 3 kids 2 adopted and his son.

Check the statistics!

Males of a certain ethnic group are notorious for bedding them, babying them up, then bouncing!

A few years back one of them was bragging on national news he had kids with 17 different females and did not provide any support.

Govt stats from few years back show over 70 per cent of that ethnic groups babies are born to unwed mothers

You didn't have him flying yet or leaping tall buildings in a single bound. Jeez did you read what you had written? Anything that happens to this perfect specimen of an asshole imo.....would be great! I hated him after 5 or 6 paragraphs.

one would surmise there should be a learning scale on stupidity and cheating, so far nothing seems to have caught on, TK U MLJ LV NV

"

I think I may give up writing in any other category. Everything I write seems to end up a romance.

"

And since I give five stars to all your stories should tell you how I feel about it :)

Jason

A one year old learns by hearing repetition speech. A child repeats what is said to him. Sarah was his grandma so when she was talking to her grandchild, she would point to herself and say “grandma”. She would never say mama! The word mother or mama would never be said in this child’s presence. Also if Rob was not his son, there is no way that the step father would ever accept him since there was no relationship developed. I have a problem with El leaving her son! No new mother would leave her son. She would have taken him AND the law would have supported her actions!

I love the rest of your stories, but this one didn't work for me.

Elsa wasn't really fleshed out enough and there was no motivation for her cheating. She seemed to be in love with Barry then randomly started fucking the black guy. Then after she confessed, she was desperate not to get a divorce, but kept on fucking her lover. If Barry had hunted the bastard down, he could have put an end to it permanently... Instead he just forgives her with no consequences for her or her lover!

Also Sarah was only eight years older than Barry. When they eventually got married, he was 28 and she was 36... so why didn't they have children of their own? Sarah could have easily given him a couple of kids. That would have finished the story nicely instead of hearing about Elsa's brood... and having Sarah fawning over those kids and grandkids would have been a constant reminder of the shit Elsa put Barry through.

and I don't give out 5's very often. Out of more than 1,000 stories I have read, maybe 20 have been 5's. Many of them are to your stories.

Sorry, but this one didn't do it for me. It just didn't make any sense with Elsa. Everything you built up about her showed her to be the kind of woman that has some faults but even her faults combined with her strengths show these type of women to be not just loyal, but FIERCLY Loyal. So her having an affair and running off with the other man just didn't make any sense.

I realize you needed to set it up for the romance with Sarah, but having her cheat and run off doesn't make much sense after you built her character up as you did. Her death would have made more sense or making her more flirty, less likable etc.

Drink foo foo coffee once every year or so to remind me why I love coffee just coffee

Hair on pubes please

Good to great story anyway 4 stars

Development of cheaters? As others comments

Sarah age and children my main concern just as other comment

I liked the story and gave it 5 stars. It is in my favorites. Ii have to ask What caused her to cheat on her husband. Why did she continue to do it when she promised him that it was over when it was not. What was she thinking about??

Have the ability to write any category. Its not about the grammer, the stars, or the reviews you get from unappreciative few. Its about your thoughts ideas and dreams you write. You have a great talent I wish I had. No limits. 5

This is a superb story, no btb or other garbage, I can relate to the main characters reaction. Please more.