by L.A. Wicker
The story was ok but not what was expected. I feel as if you built readers up with "Aunt Raven" and instead of concluding or continuing that story you took us in a completely different and unwanted direction.. The two stories do not even seem related.
I loved the story, the way it combined sadness and real emtion with impossible smut was uncommonly good for Literotica. However, the bouncing from Jenny to Patti, and the unresolved Misty angle, left a few too many loose ends for me.
Give it a chance people. I'm still working on it. Everyone wanted to know why Jenny was such a bitch, I'm telling you why and as one cool email said, 'I have a feeling that this story is far from over,'. He's right.
Hold your panties on.
L.A.Wicker
I think your story is very hot and exciting. Looking forward to more. Thanks
One more thing...I just don't understand the criticism from the other's comments????!!
We're here for the excitement, seems to me; and not for pulitzer prized winners. If the stories don't match exactly, whats the big deal??? You have a good writing style..and I hope to see more. Thanks again. Loverotica100.
Now we know the reason Jen was such a bitch to the rest of her family. Loved it. Keep up the good work.
You frequently err using "to" instead of "too": too cold, too hot, too fast, and "too" is also used as a synonym for "also", such as "I love him too". "To" is for infinitives: to run, to love.
Also, when you lose someone, you "mourn" NOT "morn" (the sun rises in the morn).
Some parts are error free others are not -- as if you had multiple editors prooing it.
like the way it is rolling along...vice is nice but incest is best
Liked the story, but it too too long to get to the good part, and then finished quickly.
Also, where is it about Raven....you should have ran with her....A22C
(8/21/2021) Well, this was quite hot. John's a real studmeister. I was thinking you were setting up misty as Raven's mom but she was quickly removed from the stage and out of the blue she was replaced by Patti of the mill at the tail end of this chapter. It's a bit confusing. Did you decide midway to send this chapter in a different direction to facilitate a third chapter? but still, it was an enjoyable read. Jenny's seduction of John was relentless and painfully hot. I'm sort of glad she didn't succeed.