Awakening Ch. 01

My very first post of anything. Sorry, no sex in this chapter.

Chapter One - Agony

During my eighteenth summer, my mother was approached by a widowed neighbour. She was looking for someone willing to clean up and maintain her acreage property which she had purchased two years earlier. It was in a good location – 10 acres with the house overlooking a ravine, but a bit of a mess. The house was new but unfinished, the yard was littered with piles of brush left behind by a bulldozer, presumably to be burned, etc. You get the picture – lots of work needed.

The husband, whom I had not known, apparently died in a motor vehicle accident, the result of a truck blowing through a red light. He was a well connected lawyer and the firm for which he worked was in the process of making sure his widow was compensated. The offending truck belonged to a big corporation and there would be hell to pay. But not for a couple more years.

The wheels of justice move slowly, leaving the injured parties with little in the interim. And that is what brought the neighbour to our door. She knew my parents as a result of a local committee she and my mother served on, and when her husband was killed, mother had spent some time consoling her. They became good friends. And that is how Laura, the acreage owner and my mother's friend, found out I was in need of summer work.

Laura was in her early forties, a little younger than my folks. However she and her husband had not had children. Laura was about five feet six inches tall and blonde with hair past her shoulders which she kept mostly in a pony tail. She was neither thin or heavy, and seemed fit. Her breasts were smallish, but stood out in a T-Shirt so they weren't all that small. She had a small waist and rounded hips which looked as though they were made to have children, definitely attention getting. I'm guessing she was about 115-120 pounds. Her facial features were nice – a small straight nose, higher cheekbones and delicate features – with one exception, a scar which scored the side of her face from the right side of her mouth to a point on her jaw half way between her chin and ear. The scar was quite noticeable and gave her face a somewhat lopsided look if you were looking at her straight on when she smiled. However, the scar didn't seem to bother her in any way I could see. It certainly had no effect on how I saw her.

The job on tap was cleaning up Laura's yard. She could not yet afford to have a contractor come in with machines but she could afford to pay some labour and the deal was if money got tight I would stop until things eased up.

There was a lot of brush throughout the yard. I set to work with some primitive equipment - an ax, cross cut saw and matches (diesel fuel too for wet days). It actually was fun. I worked through the next few days and began to develop muscles where none had been obvious before and I worked off some energy. Things fell into a rhythm – chop, saw, gather, burn – and the small part of the yard I was working in, near the house, began to take shape.

Laura was away for the first part of the week and was a little surprised at how much better her property looked when she returned.

"Hi Aaron," she said. "Looks like you have been working hard."

"Yeah, well, might as well earn the money. Quite a mess here."

"True enough, when I bought this place, it looked pretty rough. Perhaps that is why I could afford it. The house is good though, and once the yard is cleaned up, I think it will feel like home. I bought the property just after my husband died, and I have not yet had the energy to get started."

"Sorry," I said. "It must have been tough for you."

With that, she just looked at me with a sad half smile and went into the house.

Shortly thereafter, Laura brought out a tray of sandwiches and lemonade.

"Thought you could use some refreshment."

Laura had changed and was now dressed in a sleeveless blouse under which her breasts could be seen to shift slightly, shorts and white tennis shoes. I was not expecting this vision as I turned toward her and my eyes must have widened. She coloured a little, placed the tray on the ground and invited me to sit. She must have been wearing some perfume because a smell like fresh flowers entered my consciousness. Nice.

"How long do you think the job will take Aaron?" she asked.

"I've looked around a bit and I think if I keep up the same pace, the smaller stuff I'm working on now should take about two to three weeks," I replied. "The larger piles will require a chain saw. I might be able to borrow our garden tractor and trailer from home. Some of those trees in the piles would make good firewood. From the looks of your chimney it looks like you have a fireplace."

"A woodstove actually, but you're right," Laura replied. "Sounds good, I will leave the logistics up to you," she said as she started to get up. As she rose, my eyes caught movement within her blouse and I'm afraid I seriously checked her out. Her breasts were unconfined and the blouse she wore, while not revealing, showed enough for my eyes to –on their own – seek more. Eventually when those same eyes made it up to her face they saw she had been watching me. And she was not happy about it. I was on the receiving end of a withering look of disgust. Laura looked hard at me, shook her head while clamping her teeth, the scar prominently displayed. She then turned hard on her heels and rapidly returned to the house. I stood stupidly and watched, as her muscular looking legs crossed the distance.

Thinking, "Shit, what have I done now," I got back to work. Shortly thereafter Laura left the house, got into her car and left without any kind of acknowledgement.

She did not return, so I had no chance to apologize – if I was supposed to. This was confusing. So I did the only thing I could think of – made mincemeat of the brush pile in front of me.

I got home about 6:00 P.M. and shouted out, "I'm going to take a shower, won't be long." I took a lukewarm shower to wash as I was really hot from the work and heat of the day, then took a cold shower because I was really hot from the vision earlier in the day. Well I took a cold shower once I was finished relieving the urgency which had somehow arisen in response to my memories of Laura's blouse that afternoon. I knew then that the rest of the summer was going to be torture, especially if Laura was around. I would have to really control my eyes if I was going to be masturbating to Laura's image for the foreseeable future.

As I arrived at the dinner table, Mom said "Laura was here this afternoon."

At that, I choked on the orange juice I was downing and started coughing.

"Are you OK?" Mom asked.

"Yes sorry, too thirsty I guess." I replied, thinking "what did she say?"

"Laura says you are doing a really good job and that her yard is starting to take shape. She mentioned you were going to ask us about using the tractor to haul wood and offered to pay us for using the equipment. I'm not sure we need any money. If she pays for gas that should be good enough."

"Uhh. Sure I guess, so I can take the tractor tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure, I will ask your father if he phones, but there shouldn't be an issue."

My father was a bit of a problem from time to time. He was not around much, being a busy pipeline contractor. Well we think he was busy, he sent money home regularly, but rarely showed up himself. When he did, he tried to set the rules make changes to how we lived. I'm assuming that did not go over so well as my two parents, after a couple days of loving behavior towards each other, started to fight. So for the most part it was just Mom and I. As I was growing she made sure I had manners and was comfortable around people. She was a little strict and taught me to respect others, especially women. Her rules made sense and they were really nothing to chafe under so I figured I had a pretty good life.

During high school there had been a few girlfriends, but no one who I felt like getting attached to. When with a girl I made out as much as I could, but the exploration pretty much stopped at the clothes barrier, with the odd occasion when I could cop a feel. The girls I went out with were not willing to go further. And I was a bit shy and didn't think I should push it. I was certainly no Lothario in real life (as opposed to my fantasy life in which I was the stud of studs).

Besides, there was my car which, while not amazing, was pretty cool to me. It was a 1957 four door Chev station wagon with a straight six and three speed manual transmission. So, no speed demon. It had been my uncle's and he kept it in good shape. When he bought a new car, he thought I may be interested in the Chevy, and I was. So I bought it, cheap. It was a blast to work on and gave me a sense of accomplishment as I maintained it, greasing it and changing oil, points and plugs when necessary. And I went so far as to replace the clutch when it wore out.

And it was great, during the last two years of high school, I bombed around all over the place, hung out with friends, and with the car being a station wagon it was convenient, with the back seat folded forward, for some decent make out sessions.

I bring up my uncle for another reason. One day he took me to the Grand Opening of a new chain of gas stations. I was twelve. At this event were girls hired for the occasion, the likes of which I had never seen. There were dressed, or rather, undressed in very short mini dresses with some kind of push up bras exposing mountains of breasts open right there for everyone to see. Like Playboy bunnies these women were close enough to reach out and touch and as I was twelve, these mounds of bare flesh were right at my eye level. I was blown away and at that very instant it was like someone started my engine and hit the gas. From then on I was obsessed. Those breasts were like the key in the ignition and from then on much of who I was, was focused on women. Secretly that is.

The overpowering feelings of desire resident in my body had to somehow coexist with appropriate social behavior and restraint - all within a teenaged boy's body. The dilemma of every single male ever born. How the fuck do we ever survive?

"Aaron, one more thing before you go," Mom said, as I was getting up from the table after our meal.

"Yes Mom?"

"Laura did say that you had made her uncomfortable this afternoon."

"Ohhh shit," I thought. "Now I'm in for it!"

I looked down hung my head a little in response. "Ohh?" was my response.

"So I guess you know what I'm about to say!" She said with an exasperated tone.

"I have an idea," I replied.

"As I said, Laura likes your work and thinks you are a pretty good kid. She was concerned however when you quite obviously stared right at her breasts. She thought you were lusting after her. And she doesn't want to go through the summer having to worry about her effect on a teenaged boy. She is almost my age for Pete's sake!"

"Sorry Mom," I said, thinking "Jesus, I'm going to have to get myself under control" I of course, had been lusting after Laura and had already been thinking about how to satisfy my need for more masturbating material.

"I think you know that one of my goals for you is that you treat women as people and not as sexual objects."

"Yes Mom."

"I know you are young and 'feeling your oats,' but I think it is important for you to think about how your behaviour makes people feel. And because this subject is now out in the open, I want you to know that is another reason I am getting uneasy about you working for Laura, you have also made me feel uncomfortable quite a few times in the past couple of years."

"Whaaat?" burst from my lips.

"Yes, I have decided I have to say something. I don't want you getting out of hand. For at least a couple of years now you have been looking at me whenever you think I'm not paying attention. – No, don't say anything yet – And, this is hard for me to say. I think you have been going through the drawers where my bras and panties are kept. I'm not going to ask you if that is true because you'll want to deny it, however that is what I think.

You may have noticed I do not wear any clothes which could in any way be suggestive. I have done this so you would not have anything to look at.

Aaron, I do love you. You are my son and I want you to grow up to be a good man, one who will treat your wife and family right. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I looked up at her. Tears were streaming down her face. I did feel bad. She was, of course, entirely correct. I had used every means I could think of to get a view of Mom in various states of undress, although gave up looking in her window when I fell off the fence into a bramble and smacked my face on a rock resting so innocently on the ground. I wore the scratches and black eye for better than a week.

And I had been in her drawers. And I had been in the laundry hamper, looking for worn panties. She must have suspected this too as none of her underwear had been in the hamper for some time.

"Yes Mom, I didn't realize I was making you uncomfortable. I will try to be better, I am sorry."

"Yes I know," Mom said, "I just don't want to lose you. We have been so close all these years and these kinds of things can drive us apart." Changing the subject, Mom said "I haven't seen Ashleigh lately, are you and her still seeing each other?"

"No, not really. I did call her up a couple of times last week, but she had other things going on. I think now that school is done, she might be done with me too. I'm not going to stress over it though" I said.

"Well, I think it would be good if you spent more time with your friends Aaron. You only have six weeks before College starts."

My plans for school to that point had been to attend the local college for two years taking university transfer courses which would eventually lead to a degree in engineering. While at college, I had intended to stay at home and work wherever I could to earn a little spending money.

Over the next few days though, as my powerful (not so much) brain ruminated over what had just happened, it seemed to me that it might be better if I got some steady work and just moved out of the house. College could wait a year. The more I thought about it, the better this idea seemed. I would not have to live in the same house with someone who felt I was a pervert and - would be entirely responsible for myself.

Besides, rightly or wrongly, I was starting to resent the way things had gone down. For the next few weeks, I spent Monday to Friday at Laura's working hard to get everything done as quickly as possible. Real progress was made. And every night I left the house. However after a few nights of hanging out, it became obvious that my friends had paired off with the girls from high school and were getting laid as much as they could. And a couple of the girls I had gone out with were putting out big time – or so their new boyfriends claimed. That soured me too, what gives?

I did happen to see Debbie, a relatively recent previous flame, one day. Knowing she was currently going out with Steve, a school acquaintance who boasted of her sexual energy, I asked how things were. We made small talk for a while, then I got the idea I should ask her straight out if things were better in the sexual sense with him than they were with me. So I did. Debbie blushed and said, "Well Aaron, you are a nice guy right. I really appreciated you didn't push me to have sex with you."

"But Steve did?" I asked.

Debbie blushed deeper, looked around a bit and replied, "Yes, but please don't tell anyone. You have always been so respectful and nice, you won't say anything will you?"

"No Deb, I won't, you do realize though that if I had had any idea you would have slept with me, I would have been all over you. Would you have had sex with me?"

At that Debbie looked down and said, uncomfortably, "I don't know. I think I better go. I'm supposed to meet Steve in a little while. Bye Aaron."

"Wait just a sec. Would you tell me, is your relationship better because you are having sex?"

With that Deb said, "It makes me feel like he really wants me and I feel so close to him. Its like he's part of me... I really have to go. See you."

I happened to know that for Steve, Debbie was a great lay and not much more. He intended to be gone to university in a different State at the end of Summer and would not be looking back.

So, I was a nice guy and was not getting laid. Steve was getting his brains fucked out and had no intention of being "nice." Debbie worked at the local fabric shop and had no other work or school plans at the moment. She would have to know that their relationship was temporary. Yet she was with him, not me.

So here I was, a pervert who looks at his mom's underwear and lusts after a neighbour more than twice his age, who masturbates to hypothetical visions of both of them, and who can't get laid by girls his own age. This was really fucked! Somehow things had to change.

Next morning over breakfast, I let Mom in on my intentions as I sat at the breakfast bar. She was busy cleaning up the kitchen, but as Mom listened she visibly stiffened, slowly turned her head towards me and just stared.

"It will be really cool Mom," I exclaimed. "I will get my own place, work for a year and go to college next year. I can use the experience and it will be good to be more independent."

"You have the money to go to school this year, your grades are great and you have been accepted. Are you sure you want to do this?" Mom asked, her voice quavering a little.

"Well, I think it's time I started to look after myself."

"Is that all?" Mom asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she said. "Ever since we had our talk about your behaviour, you have been different, more remote. You have been keeping to yourself and generally avoiding me."

"Maybe some distance would be good," I said. Not wanting to continue with this conversation I inserted "Well, off to work – see you later." I virtually ran out the door, got on the tractor – which I had brought home to service – started it and headed down the road.

As I drove toward Laura's, there she came driving the opposite way. I waved, she didn't, but she did acknowledge me with a brief nod. I looked behind me just in time to see her turn onto our driveway. "What's up now?" I thought. "Oh well, I'll be done here in a couple weeks, then move into town, get some work, and get on with what I want to do." Of course, I really had no idea what I wanted.

After finishing for the day, I drove into town to get some food and see who was around. There was a locally owned burger joint where people our age hung out and that is where I was headed. I had a new attitude. From now on, I felt, I was going to get in on whatever action was to be found. One of the girls I knew from biology class and a former lab partner, was there. As a lab partner, Becky left something to be desired, but as a female presence sitting next to me in the lab I had had no complaints. I always helped her with the reports and I think she appreciated it. Of course, "helping" allowed me to spend more time in with her. And her presence was entrancing, a 5 feet tall, tight sweatered, long blonde, taut jeaned and lightly perfumed revelation. I suspect she knew how she came across

I went over, said "Hi" and asked if I could join her. She looked kind of surprised, but smiled and said "Sure."

I slid into the booth and asked "So Becky, what have you been up to this summer?"

"Just working at my Mom's hairdressing shop, cutting hair and helping out. How about you?"

"I've been working for a neighbour, clearing brush and landscaping. It has taken most of the summer, but I'm just about done. What's Rick up to?" I asked. At the mention of her boyfriend, there was a short but unmistakable frown from which she quickly recovered and remarked, "He's still working at the glass shop. I'm meeting him here."