Awakenings Ch. 06

"I really am getting to like the new Jeanne." I was grinning.

Jeanne stared at me for a moment and then she asked, "Even the Jeanne who has sex with other men?"

Understanding the seriousness of her question, I carefully considered my answer. Finally I said; "Right now I'm two thousand miles away from that situation. I paused and then I added, "Unless you're planning to try to meet a guy while you're here."

Still serious, Jeanne shook her head. "No, I came to see you and only you."

"Thank you."

Jeanne nodded.

Continuing, I said; "It's harder when it's happening if front of me. Being in the same house with you while you were getting ready for your date with Derek Fischer nearly destroyed me."

"I was a fool. I should have spent the two weeks prior to that date trying to suck and fuck you to death."

"That would have helped. I think this weekend will help."

"I'm hoping it will." Jeanne paused. after a moment she said; "That's not the only reason I'm here. You do know that, don't you? I'm also here because I love you and I desperately want to see you."

"Yeah, don't worry; I know that."

Jeanne reached across the table and placed her hand on top of mine.

Suddenly hurt, I looked at her and pulled my hand away. "You did that with Fischer."

Jeanne closed her eyes and sighed. "Yes I did and for the rest of my life I will regret doing it. I promise you that I will never again hold another man's hand while were dining in a restaurant."

I nodded, but I wasn't mollified and my demeanor showed it.

"Would you like to hear why I think I did it? Remember, a few minutes ago I told you that I didn't even like Derek Fischer. He was a convenient fuck and that's all he was."

"Okay, tell me. Why did you do it?"

"Earlier this evening, while we were in the shower, I had an orgasm."

"I know."

"Before I changed, when I was still Jeanne the prude, I didn't have many orgasms. If fact they were rare."

I sighed.

"Michael that didn't have anything to do with you. You're a wonderful lover. It was me. Most of the times we made love I was too inhibited to have an orgasm. I couldn't relax and let go."

"Okay."

"But I did have a few orgasms. I had them on our most romantic evenings. Those were often the nights we had dinner at the Kennsington Grill. I came to the conclusion that a little romance helped me get off. Of course I stupidly missed the fact that it was my intense love for you that made the romance so wonderful and exciting."

I smiled at Jeanne.

She smiled back and then she continued. "Anyway, the night I went out with Derek I wanted to have an orgasm, so I foolishly tried to recreate the circumstances that had previously resulted in my cumming during sex. Michael, I asked Derek to take me to the Kennsington Grill and while we were there I did everything I could to make it a romantic experience. I now realize how stupid that was and I hope that I haven't ruined romantic evenings for us."

I reached across the table and laid my hand on top of Jeanne's. "No, you haven't ruined romantic evenings for us, but this is a good example of why we need to talk."

"Thank you Michael."

I winked at Jeanne.

She giggled.

I said, "I gather you now cum easily."

Jeanne nodded. "I do. I'm not inhibited anymore. Now it's easy for me to relax and enjoy sex." She paused for a moment and then she asked, "Does that upset you?"

I shook my head; "No not at all. In fact I want it to make me happy."

"Really?"

"Yes, I love you. Hearing about things that give you pleasure should make me happy. Charles told me that he eventually learned to enjoy Edith's affairs because they made her so happy. I'm trying to reach a point where I feel the same way about your liaisons."

"But you're not there yet."

"No, but I'm getting closer. This visit is helping. Talking is helping. Learning more about your new life is helping. Jeanne it's obvious that you're having fun. Being with you is fun. I have to admit that I like the new Jeanne."

"Would you like to hear a secret about my orgasms?"

"Yes, very much."

Jeanne leaned across the table and whispered, "When I'm with a guy in his car behind Brady's Pub; if he plays with my tits and my pussy while I'm sucking his cock, I almost always cum."

"It's that exciting."

"It really is. Michael, I love sucking cocks. They're so incredibly erotic."

"That's a real change for you."

"Oh yes."

"Jeanne can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

"Since I left, how many men have you slept with?"

"I haven't slept with any men. I told you, you're the only man I'll ever sleep with. But that's not what you're asking me, is it. You'd like to know how many men have fucked me."

I nodded.

"Counting Derek, nine."

I quickly did the math in my head. I"d been gone for three months. That's about thirteen or fourteen weeks. Looking at Jeanne, I said; "That's not very many."

Jeanne laughed. "That's not the reaction I was expecting."

"It less than one guy a week."

Jeanne said. "Okay. I understand. For the first month you were gone I didn't date at all. I just moped around the house. Michael, I was terrified that I'd lost you. Tricia and Jodie finally intervened and told me that I had to get on with my life. They explained that by leaving you were giving me an opportunity to experiment with this new lifestyle and you were giving yourself some time to try to understand it."

"Our girls are smart. That's exactly what I was doing."

Jeanne nodded and then she said; "Anyway, once I did start dating I brought a man home about once a week. Remember, I was trying to limit myself to one night stands. It takes some time to find a suitable partner. I may be a slut, but I'm not going to let a man fuck me unless I find him attractive and that includes an attractive personality."

"That makes sense."

"The guy also has to have some time. Remember I only date married men."

Nodding, I said; "I get it. Either his wife has to be out or he has to have a good excuse for coming home late."

"That's why Brady's is so much fun. It's quick and easy."

I laughed. "Your nine doesn't include the men at Brady's does it."

"They don't fuck me."

"How often do you go to Brady's?"

"Once or twice a week."

"So that's another eight to ten men."

"I think it's more like ten to twelve." Suddenly concerned about what she'd just admitted Jeanne looked at me and asked; "Is that okay."

"Are you having fun?"

"I really am."

"Then I'm going to try very hard to be happy for you."

"Michael, while I'm here could we find a secluded place to park. I'd like to give you a blow job in your car."

"We have a perfectly good motel room."

"I know, but I want you to experience everything I'm doing with other men."

"Okay, it will be fun. Do you want to do it on the way back to the motel tonight?"

"No this evening I have another agenda. Unless you've turned into a superstud, I'm assuming that you only have two more erections left in you. I don't want to waste them. As soon as we get back to the motel I want you to fuck my pussy. After you cum inside me I'm going to suck your cock until your hard again and then I want you to fuck my virgin ass."

Laughing, I said; "I like this plan, but do you think I could possibly have a chance to eat your pussy too?"

"Would you like to do that?"

"Very much."

Jeanne licked her lips and said, "Let's get our check."

On the way back to the motel Jeanne was quiet. Sensing that something was bothering her I said; "You're suddenly awfully quiet. Is something wrong?"

Jeanne looked at me and asked; "Michael do you think I've lost my mind?"

Realizing that it was a serious question, I took a moment to formulate my answer. Finally, I said; "I did at first. The night you went out with Derek Fischer I thought you'd gone totally bonkers."

Jeanne laughed.

I smiled and then I added, "I don't think that anymore. I don't believe you're bipolar. I don't think you're having a manic episode. You're explanation of how you arrived at your decision to adopt this new life style is too well thought out."

"I made some awful mistakes with you."

"You did, but you were trying to make a radical change in your life. It was an emotional situation. It think errors in judgment can easily occur in situations like that."

"Thank you Michael."

I continued. "Maybe the real question is, do I think that what you're doing is wrong?"

Jeanne stared at me.

I said, "You're now choosing to live a life that goes against the basic moral conventions of our culture. We've discussed that and it's clear that you've thought about those moral codes and rejected them. I have to admit that your arguments make some sense. Ultimately I have to evaluate what you're doing using my own fundamental moral code. Are you hurting anybody? I don't believe you are, so it's difficult for me to say that what you're doing is wrong."

"I've hurt you."

"I'm not so sure you have. You've upset me and it is possible that you've damaged our relationship, but that will only be the case if I decide that I can't live with a woman who has your moral code. That's my problem, not yours. As long as you're not hurting anyone you get to live the life that makes you happy.

"But..."

"Just a moment. Have you really hurt me? I don't think you have. Have you stopped loving me?"

"No, of course I haven't"

"I know that. You've made it clear that for you sex can now be a purely recreational activity."

"That's true."

"If you'd taken up golf, should I be upset if you play golf a couple of times a week with other men? As long as you continue playing golf with me on a regular basis, I don't think I should be"

Jeanne laughed. "I'll always want to play lots of golf with you."

"I believe that so in my mind there are two real issues that concern us. Can I handle being married to a woman with your moral code? And is there still a place for me in your new life?"

We were both silent. Finally Jeanne picked up my hand and said; "I'll always love you."

I squeezed her hand and said; "And I'll always love you."

"Even if you decide that you can't continue living with me?"

"Yes I will. If you eventually decide that there isn't a place for a husband in your new life, will you still love me."

"Yes, I will; but I don't think I'll ever make that decision."

"I'm not as confident about that as you are and that's why we need time to figure all of this out."

"I want to try Michael, I really do."

"I do too Jeanne."

"I'm willing to compromise."

"So am I, but let's not worry about that until we decide it's necessary."

"Okay."

I pulled up to our motel room door and parked.

Grinning at me, Jeanne asked, "Are you ready for some hot sex?"

"Damn right."

She opened her door, hopped out of the car and ran to the motel room. I followed her.

As soon as we were inside the room Jeanne threw her arms around my shoulders and started madly kissing me. As she kissed me, she said; "Michael Nolan, I'll never stop loving you."

I kissed her back and said, "I'll never stop loving you either Jeanne Nolan."

For a moment we passionately kissed, both of us desperately trying to express the depth of our love for each other.

Finally Jeanne broke off the kiss, stepped back and started undressing. "Michael take off your clothes."

Keeping my eyes focused on Jeanne, I tore my shirt off.

Jeanne pulled her blouse over her head and took it off. After laying it on the bed she turned to me and held up her large breasts. "Look at my tits Michael, do you like them?"

I laughed. "I love them."

"When we're both naked you can suck on them. Would you like to do that?"

Grinning I unbuckled my belt and pushed my trousers to the floor. My erection was making a tent in the front of my boxer shorts."

Giggling, Jeanne said; "Your little soldier appears to like my tits. Do you think he'd like to kiss them? Would you like to rub your cock all over my big tits?"

As I stepped out of my trousers I smiled. I was definitely getting to like the new Jeanne. I tossed my pants on the bed and pulled my boxer shorts down.

While I was doing that Jeanne unfastened her high heeled sandals and removed them. Then she turned around and stuck our her rear. As she wiggled out of her slacks she said; "I love wearing tight pants. They show off my ass. Michael, do you like my ass?"

"Your ass is gorgeous. I love it."

Jeanne stepped out of her slacks. After tossing them on the bed she turned around and stared into my eyes. Licking her lips, she slowly pushed her thong panties down her thighs. I stared at her shaved pussy.

She giggled. "You like my shaved pussy, don't you."

I nodded.

"Wanna lick it?"

I nodded again.

Jeanne took off her panties and then she picked up all of our clothes. As she carefully laid them across the top of the dresser she said; "Pull down the bed covers, we need a place to play."

Jeanne waited while I pulled the bed spread and blanket down and then she hopped onto the bed, plumped up the pillows and lay back with her legs spread wide. As I stared at her already moist pussy she said; "Still wanna eat me?"

I said; "Very much." And then I quickly added. "Getting used to the new Jeanne is going to be fun, but at times it's also a little startling."

"I have to work at it too. It's not easy to shed old inhibitions." Jeanne laughed. "Sometimes I shock myself." She paused. After a moment, she added. "Michael, I don't want to be an old prude anymore."

"I don't want that either. I'm enjoying the new Jeanne. I just want you to know that there are times when you surprise me. I spent a lot of years living with the old Jeanne."

"I'm glad you like the new Jeanne. I like her too."

"And that's what matters the most. Jeanne, you have to be true to yourself."

"I'm relieved to hear you say that Michael." We smiled at each other for a moment and then Jeanne said; "So back to my question. Do you still want to eat me."

"Very much."

Jeanne wiggled her finger at me. "Come here big boy. It's time for your dessert and after you finish yours I'm going to have mine."

During the twenty-seven years we'd been married Jeanne had occasionally allowed me to go down on her, but she'd always been reluctant. Squeamish might be a better term to describe her feelings about it. Now she was clearly excited by the idea and her excitement fed my excitement.

I eagerly crawled between her parted thighs, placed my hands on her hips and gently pulled her to me. As I kissed her moist lips I felt Jeanne shudder.

I kissed her again. Jeanne whispered, "Michael, that feels so nice."

I gave her a long passionate kiss. Jeanne sighed.

I extended my tongue and explored her wet cunt. I tasted her. I felt her moisture on my lips.

Above me Jeanne whispered, "Yes, that's what I want. Lick me, lick my cunt."

Jeanne's brazen words inflamed my ardor. Burying my face in her sopping pussy, I licked her and kissed her with a fervor that I'd never before experienced.

"Michael, that feels magnificent." And then, breathless with excitement, Jeanne said; "Find my clit. I want you to lick my clit. Will you do that? Will you please lick my clit." She was pleading with me.

I found her clit. It wasn't difficult. It was now proudly pushing out from the hood of skin that normally cloaked it. I kissed it. Jeanne giggled with delight. I kissed it again and then I flicked it with my tongue.

Jeanne cried; "Yes, that's right. Lick it, like my clit."

I licked and flicked Jeanne's clit. While I was doing that I remembered something I'd seen in a Julia Ann movie. I slipped a finger into Jeanne's sopping pussy."

Gasping, Jeanne said; "Oh my god, that's amazing. Do it. Finger fuck my cunt while you lick my clit."

I did. We were both quickly swept up in a frenzy of unbridled lust. Suddenly I felt Jeanne's muscles tense. She froze and then she arched her back and screamed. I pulled back and waited while the waves of pleasure ravaged her body.

Gradually Jeanne's orgasm subsided and then she was calm. I crawled up next to her and gently kissed her cheek. She rolled over so that she was facing me. I kissed her again.

Jeanne smiled and said; "Thank you, that was wonderful."

"I enjoyed it too."

We lay together quietly. After a moment Jeanne sat up and said; "Now it's your turn." She once again plumped up the pillows. As I lay back on them Jeanne scooted down the bed, slipped between my legs and picked up my erect cock. "I'm going to try to keep you from cumming. When you cum I want you in my cunt."

I nodded.

Jeanne licked the entire length of my cock and then she slipped it into her mouth and sucked it. While she sucked it I felt her fingers massaging my balls. The sensations she was creating were unbelievable. My excitement grew quickly.

Just as I began to fear that I might not be able to control myself, Jeanne took my cock out of her mouth. While she gently held it with one hand I felt her slip farther down between my legs and suck one of my balls into her mouth. This was what I'd seen her doing with Derek Fischer that Saturday morning.

For a moment I felt pangs of anger and Jealousy, but then I remembered Jeanne's heartfelt apologies and sincere attempts to explain what had happened. I now understood that she hadn't meant to hurt me. She'd been trying to muddle through a difficult period of growth and change. She'd made mistakes.

While her changes had been difficult, the result was a new Jeanne and I knew without any doubt that this new Jeanne was a wonderfully exciting person. I relaxed, closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensations she was creating as she kissed and licked my balls.

Suddenly Jeanne let go of my cock and got up on her knees. As she straddled my hips she grinned at me and said; "I'll suck you some more later. Right now it's time to fuck. Do you mind if I start out on top?"

Grinning back at her, I said; "Not at all."

As Jeanne lowered herself on to my erection she said, "In this position you can play with my tits while we fuck."

The new Jeanne really was wonderful.

For several minutes we fucked. Having Jeanne on top of me riding my cock was a new experience. It was amazing. It was wonderful. It was something I'd only dreamed of doing with her. Now we were actually doing it.

I was excited, wildly excited. I closed my eyes and tried to focus my attention. I had to do it. If I didn't I was afraid that I might cum prematurely. I didn't want that to happen. Jeanne now had other lovers, men she could compare me to.

We kept fucking; but now I was anxious and fearful. I was terrified that I might fail. I was afraid that Jeanne might decide that I wasn't as good as her other men.

I felt my erection softening. I panicked. And then it happened. My penis wilted and slipped out of Jeanne.

Surprised, Jeanne stared down at me. "Michael what happened?"

I closed my eyes.

Sliding off of me, Jeanne whispered; "Baby, it's okay." Her tone was soft and soothing.

That made it even worse. I didn't want to be comforted. It made me feel like a little boy who couldn't compete with the big kids. Humiliated, I turned away from Jeanne.

For a moment there was silence and then Jeanne said; "Michael, please tell me what's wrong?"

I didn't respond. I was too embarrassed to speak.

Moving so that she was lying next to me, Jeanne pressed her soft body against my back, wrapped her arm around my chest and whispered; "I love you, I really do."

I knew she was telling me the truth, but I was still humiliated.

For several minutes I lay silent while Jeanne held me. Her undemanding touch comforted me. Gradually I regained some composure. Realizing that we had to talk about this, I took a moment to steel myself then I rolled over and said; "You have other men now. I'm sure that some of them are better than I am. They can last longer than I can. They can make you cum more than I can."