Awakenings Ch. 06

Sighing, Jeanne said; "This is one of the penalties I have to pay for my stupidity." She sat up. "For the rest of my life I'll regret dropping this on you out of the blue. Before I started experimenting with other men I should have spent months making sure you knew that you were my favorite lover, my best lover, my perfect lover. Michael, the other men will never be able to compete with you."

"Are you trying to tell me that some of them don't have bigger cocks than I do? That some of them can't last longer than I can?"

"No that would be a lie. Some of them do have cocks that are bigger than yours; some of them can last longer than you can and yes, almost all of them make me cum."

Jeanne paused. After a moment she said; "But none of them fulfill me like you do. Michael, I love you. You're my soul mate. The other men are fun, but that's all they are and that's all they'll ever be. They're cheap thrills, carnival rides. Yes it's true, I do enjoy them; but I also enjoy roller coasters and scary movies. Michael, I know this will be hard for you to understand; but you're not competing with these other men. You've already won that contest. You have me, I love you. You own my heart and my soul. Other men occasionally get to enjoy my body, but that's all they get and that's all they'll ever get."

"But..."

"Michael I now realize that I made a serious mistake. I was stupid. I was eager to experiment, but I forgot that I needed to experiment with you first. For years you were saddled with a sex partner who was an uptight prude. Suddenly all of my inhibitions are gone and I'm doing things with you that you'd only been able to fantasize about in the past. You're excited. Of course you're going to cum quickly."

Jeanne thought for a moment and then she said; "There are going to be men who have bigger cocks than you do and some of them are going to be better at fucking than you are, but that doesn't mean you won't always be my favorite sex partner. If I started playing golf I'd probably meet some men who are better golfers than you are and while occasionally playing with them would be fun, you would always be my favorite golf partner. I love you."

"Jeanne I know I should believe you. I want to believe you. Actually, I think I do believe you. The fact that you're here says a lot. Still, this is difficult."

"I know it is Michael. I'm sorry I'm putting you through it. I wish I'd done a better job of preparing you for it."

Shrugging I said; "That's in the past and there isn't anything we can do to change it. Right now you are doing a good job of making me feel loved and important to you."

"You are loved and important to me. No man will ever be more important to me."

"I'm beginning to believe that, but I still worry that whenever we make love you'll be comparing me to the other men."

Jeanne thought for a moment and then she said; "I suppose I will be. It would be hard to avoid doing that. That doesn't mean that you won't always be my favorite sex partner."

"Because you love me."

"That's right and that adds so much excitement to our sex. Please believe me Michael, sex with you will always be better than sex with any other man."

"So why are you doing this?"

"You mean the other men."

"Yes."

"Michael, you like ice cream."

Immediately realizing where Jeanne was going I laughed and said; "Yes I do and while chocolate chip will always be my favorite flavor I do occasionally enjoy other flavors."

"But you always go back to chocolate chip, don't you."

"Yes I do."

"Baby you're my chocolate chip."

I grinned at Jeanne. She kissed me. I kissed her back.

She whispered, "I love you so much."

I whispered back, "I love you too."

"Michael promise me that while you're gone you'll keep loving me."

"I will. Will you promise that You'll keep loving me?"

"Of course I will."

"I'm sorry I have to be gone. It's something that I have to do."

Michael I understand what you're doing and why you're doing it. While I don't like it, I have to admit that I agree with it. I foolishly started this journey without you and because I did that you now need time to come to terms with the changes I made in our lives. You used to have unwavering trust in me. I shook that trust. Now we need time to rebuild it."

"This weekend is helping."

"I was hoping it would. Do you think we could have some more weekends like this?"

"I'd like that."

We smiled at each other.

After a moment I asked, "So how do I compare to the other men."

"Michael!"

"What? Am I so bad that you're afraid to tell me?"

"Didn't you hear anything that I just said to you?"

"Yes, you told me that you love me and because you love me you'll always enjoy sex with me. That doesn't leave me feeling very confident. Jeanne you have to understand that ever since that evening you announced that you were going to start dating other men I've had a nagging fear that it was my inadequacy as a sex partner that drove you to take that action."

"Michael you know that isn't true."

"Do I? Since that evening what have you said or done that would make be believe it wasn't true? What I heard you say to Derrick Fischer that Saturday morning certainly didn't boost my confidence."

"What did I say?"

"Don't you remember?"

"No, I don't. That was a horrible morning. I've tried to forget it."

"I think about it all the time. I wish I could forget it, but I can't."

Jeanne quietly asked, "What did you hear me say?"

"I heard Fischer first. He said, Damn Jeanne, you really do love to suck my cock, don't you."

"What did I say to him?"

"You said, I do. I think that surprises me even more than it does you; but it is true. I do love to suck your cock. It's both beautiful and beguiling. I was taught to believe that cocks were dirty and nasty. That's a lie. Cocks are wonderful. Your cock is wonderful. I love your cock. I love to suck your cock."

"I said, your cock; your cock is wonderful."

"That's exactly what you said."

"I'm not questioning your memory. I'm sure that is what I said. That was certainly how I was feeling at that moment." Jeanne slowly shook her head. "Michael I'm so sorry. Hearing me say those words to another man must have been terribly painful for you. Especially since I was always so inhibited with you."

"Yeah."

"You do understand that there is more than one way to interpret those words."

"Yes, I understand that."

"I've never given you any explanation, so I can't blame you for assuming the worst."

"I've never given you an opportunity to explain what you said."

I wasn't trying to tell Derrick that I loved his cock more than yours."

"That is one way to interpret those words."

"Yes it is, but that wasn't what I was trying to say."

"What were you trying to say?"

"For my entire life I've been an uptight prude. I was taught that cocks were dirty and nasty. I was also taught that any girl who sucked a cock was dirty and nasty." Jeanne looked at me. "I did give you blow jobs on special occasions."

"Yes you did, but you were never eager about it. It was obvious that you never enjoyed doing it.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I didn't enjoy doing it. I was too inhibited to enjoy doing it. The morning after I gave you a blow job I was always so ashamed about what I'd done that I was afraid to face you."

"I didn't know that."

"The girls finally convinced me that cocks weren't dirty and nasty. They made me understand that if a man bathes regularly his cock is going to be just as clean as any other part of his body."

Sighing, Jeanne added; "You should have been the recipient of my first enthusiastic blow jobs. You weren't and I'm horribly ashamed about that. Why did I do it for another man first? I think your friend provided a pretty good explanation for that."

"You're talking about Jennifer Rawlins."

"Yes."

Smiling, I said; "It was difficult for you to admit to me that you'd turned into a cock hungry slut."

Jeanne laughed. "Yes Michael, it was."

"So you're telling me that even though you never enjoyed sucking my cock, when you told Fischer that you loved sucking him it wasn't meant as a reflection on me."

"Not at all, in fact I was planning to try to get you to let me give you a blow job when you came home that afternoon. I wanted it to be a very special one."

"I enjoyed the one you gave me when you got here this afternoon."

"I enjoyed giving it to you too. In a few minutes I'll give you another one, but first I have to answer the question you asked me earlier. I now understand why it's so important to you."

"You're talking about how I compare to the other men who have had sex with you."

"Yes."

"Please tell me the truth."

"Don't worry, I will."

"Okay."

"Earlier tonight I told you that since this started three months ago I've let nine men fuck me and I've given blow jobs to another twelve men."

"Yes."

"I quickly learned that you're a good lover. No, you're a very good lover."

"Jeanne please don't coddle me. I want to hear the truth."

"Michael, I am telling you the truth. You're a gentle and considerate sex partner. Several of the men I've been with weren't. While they were fucking me it was abundantly clear that all they cared about was their own pleasure. You've always tried to give me pleasure." Jeanne smiled. "I was always such a prude that I don't think that was very easy for you."

"Even when you were a prude I enjoyed sex with you and you're right; I've always tried to please you."

"I know you did Michael and while that's one of the reasons you're a good lover, it's not the only reason."

"Okay."

"Michael, you're a graceful lover. Until I started dating other men I never realized how important that is."

"I don't understand."

"Sex and dancing are closely related. To be done well they both require rhythm and grace. Two of the guys who fucked me were awful. As soon as their cocks were inside me they started pumping in and out of me as hard and fast as they possibly could. That's fun at the end, but at the beginning guys have to be slow and gentle. They have to be dancers. Baby you're a dancer. Believe me, women appreciate that."

I nodded.

Jeanne continued. "One of the guys was big. He had to be at least eight inches. When he started ramming and jamming that monstrosity into me it actually hurt."

"What did you do."

"I stopped him. Sex should feel good. It shouldn't be painful."

"Was he okay with that?"

"I gave him a blow job instead."

"And that made him happy?"

"Oh yes."

Laughing, I said; "You do give an excellent blow job."

Jeanne grinned. "Thank you kind sir. I enjoy giving them. Would you like one?"

"Yes I would, but only as a preliminary. I'd like to finish what we started earlier."

"So would I." Jeanne got up on her knees. "Baby lie back and make yourself comfortable. I'm about to demonstrate one of the many advantages of having a slut wife."

"Jeanne, I still need to ask one more question."

"Okay" She sat down again.

"How do I compare to the other men as far as size? I'm afraid I'm not big enough to please you. You mentioned that one of the guys was eight inches. I'm no where near that big."

"I also told you that I made him stop fucking me because it hurt."

"Yes, but you did that because he was too aggressive."

Jeanne smiled at me for a moment and then she said; "Michael, I think cock size is a lot more important to men than it is to women. How a guy uses his cock is what really matters to us."

"So you're telling me that I'm small."

"Damn it Michael, that's not what I'm telling you. I'm trying to get you to understand that for women cock size isn't really all that important. There are a few women who are size queens, but I think that's more like men who are fascinated by women with large breasts. Most women prefer an average sized cock. They're more comfortable. I also repeat what I said earlier. How a guy uses his cock is more important than its size."

"Jeanne everything you're telling me makes sense and I believe you, but you have to understand that what you're doing has shaken my confidence as a man. I'm terrified that I'm a tiny dicked wimp who can't satisfy his wife. That's why I lost my erection earlier."

"Baby, I'm so sorry that I did that to you. Please believe me when I tell you that you have never been an inadequate lover. You have always been a wonderful in bed. I was the one who was inadequate."

"Please tell me the truth. I have to know."

"Okay, in the past three months I've played with about twenty different cocks. Three of them were larger than yours. One was a couple of inches longer than your cock."

"That was the eight inch cock."

Jeanne nodded and then she continued. "Three or four of them were at least an inch shorter than yours."

"They were?"

"Yes and they were still fun."

Laughing, I said; "Okay, I get it."

"Baby, I think your cock is about average or maybe even a little larger than average. You're pretty thick, which is a lot more important than length."

"Really?"

"Yes, but you're a practical man. Let's get some real data. Turn on your computer."

Jeanne stood up, walked over to the dresser and opened her purse.

"What are you doing?"

Ignoring my question, Jeanne said; "Turn on your computer."

"Okay."

I got up, walked over to the desk and switched on my computer. As the computer was booting up Jeanne joined me. I noticed that she was holding the small cloth tape measure that she always carried in her purse.

I smiled. "Are you going to measure me?"

"Damn right I am. It's the only way you'll know for sure."

"Okay."

"Sit down in the chair."

"Why?"

"Don't argue, just do it."

Laughing, I said; "All right." I sat down in the desk chair.

After setting the tape measure on the desk Jeanne kneeled between my legs and picked up my stiffening cock. Holding it with both of her hands, she said; "I want you really hard for this."

Realizing what she was doing, I nodded.

Jeanne slipped my cock into her mouth and started sucking me. Once again it was wonderful. After about a minute of pure ecstasy Jeanne sat back and looked up at me. "That got you nice and hard, didn't it?"

"Yes it did." We were both grinning.

Picking up her tape measure, Jeanne said; "Now sit still."

I watched as she carefully measured the length of my erect penis. After a moment she looked up at me and said; "Six and one quarter inches."

I nodded.

Jeanne then used the cloth tape to measure the circumference of my cock. When she was finished she stood up and said. "Four and three quarter inches."

She set her tape back on the desk and said, "Now I want you to Google, The average length of an adult male penis."

"Do you really think we'll find something?"

"Sweetie, this is the Internet. These days you can find anything."

"Yeah, okay."

"I'll also bet that this is a popular search."

Chuckling, I said; "You're probably right." I typed in the search. We got ten pages of results.

Jeanne said, "Isn't the Internet wonderful?" We both laughed.

I opened one of the web sites. We started reading. We learned that early studies had reported the average length of a penis as about six and a half inches. Researchers had recently decided that those figures were skewed because the men were allowed to do their own measuring and they had a tendency to round their results upward.

Current studies based on more accurate data reported an average penis length of about five and one half inches and an average circumference of about four and a quarter inches.

As we were reading Jeanne started giggling.

I looked at her and asked, "What's so funny?"

Still giggling, Jeanne said; "I want to get a job as a penis measurer." We both burst out laughing.

We looked at four other web sites. They all reported the same information. The web sites all also stated that penis size was a much bigger issue for men than it was for women.

As I shut my computer off Jeanne said, "So, you're cock is just a little larger than average. I happen to think that it's the perfect size. Do you believe me now?"

Smiling, I said; "Yes I do.'

"Wanna start fucking again?"

"Yes please."

"Would you be willing to give me a little warm up with your tongue first?"

"I'd love to do that."

Jeanne hopped on to the bed and spread her legs. "Come on sailor, let's have some fun."

I lay down between my wife's legs. As I kissed her already sopping pussy I once again realized that despite all the insecurity her new life style had created for me I had to admit that really did like the new Jeanne.

As I kissed and licked my wife's cunt she became increasingly wet and slippery. I smiled. It really was fun being married to a woman who loved sex. In the past the old Jeanne had occasionally allowed me to go down on her. It was rare, but it did happen. Usually it was after a romantic dinner that included several cocktails and a bottle of wine. Even then, even after her inhibitions had been eased by alcohol she still rarely produced much natural moisture. Now Jeanne gushed like a trollop and I loved it.

I buried my face in Jeanne's cunt and reveled in her wetness. I tried to coat my my lips, my nose, my cheeks and my chin with it. Above me Jeanne started giggling. That excited me even more. She was actually enjoying what I was doing.

I pushed my tongue into her opening. She was still stretched and loose from our previous coupling. I fucked her with my tongue. Still giggling, Jeanne began gyrating her hips. My already rampant excitement mushroomed. I started licking the full length of her cunt.

Above me Jeanne snickered and said, "Michael you nasty devil. I love this."

That excited me even more. I found her clit, sucked it into my mouth and began flicking it with my tongue. At the same time I pushed a finger into her and started fucking her with it.

Jeanne screamed "Michael, that feels fucking amazing." Madly gyrating her hips she grabbed my head and held my face tightly against her clit. I kept sucking it and flicking it with my tongue while I finger fucked her at the same time.

Suddenly I felt her muscles tense and then still holding my face pressed to her engorged clit she screamed and started to shake. Her hands tightened their grip on my head. For a moment I feared that she might crush me, but then her iron grip eased. Several seconds passed. Finally Jeanne let go of my head and melted into the bed.

I pulled myself up so that I was lying next to her and gently stroked her hair. After moment she smiled at me and then she started to giggle.

I said, "what?"

Jeanne grinned at me. "Michael, you don't ever have to worry about being an inadequate lover. Baby that was magnificent."

I beamed with pride.

Jeanne popped up. "Come on, lie back. I want to keep going."

Still grinning, I said; "Okay." I lay back on the pillows.

Jeanne moved down the bed. My cock was sticking straight up. Resting her arm on my stomach, she wrapped the fingers of her other hand around my stiff shaft and began slowly stroking it. At the same time she said; "Michael, you have a beautiful cock. I'm madly in love with it. It will always be my favorite." Leaning forward, she kissed it and then she parted her lips, took the head into her mouth and started sucking me.

"Jeanne that feels wonderful"

She stopped, sat up and grinned at me. "Do you like that?"

"Very much."

"When you come home I'll do it for you every day for the rest of our lives."

"Even when we're old and wrinkly?" I was grinning at her.

"Even when we're old and wrinkly."

We both laughed and then Jeanne put my cock back into her mouth and started sucking me in earnest. It was wonderful. The new Jeanne knew how to give a great blow job. I smiled. Twelve guys in the parking lot at Brady's Saloon. She'd definitely been practicing. And then I realized something. It didn't bother me. I wasn't jealous. All she was doing was having fun and I had to admit that this really was fun.