All Comments on 'Award'

Well done. Easy read.

Bill S.

Good story. Easy read. Well written.

If you read the story remember it’s a story!!! Meant to entertain us. Don’t judge it too hardly. Go Giants

I would have thought having the sun shining out of his arse would cause the protagonist constant discomfort but presumably he was too stoic and humble to mention it.

Great story and very believable up until he won 4 super bowls with the cowboys

This story was just okay in my view. The main problem I have is in the character development. The characters in these stories are one dimensional. They are either perfect in every way, great football player, humble, giving of oneself and always doing the right thing. Contrast that with the bad characters who are uniformly bad, They are bullies, selfish, and cheaters. This lack of dimension detracts from the story. Also, the ending was a little over the top.

A bit of fantasy thrown in for good measure... thank you.

🤷🤷🤷😁😁😁😁😁😉😉😉😉🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍺🍺😂😂🍺🍺🙋🙋🙋🙊🙈🙈🙉😂💯💯💯💯💯🎉

perfect story with an unrealistic ending

The end awards were a horrible ending but the story before beat it out. 5 Stars!

A favorite story of mine, thank you! We would love to see some new tales.

somewhere east of Omaha

I liked the story up until the completely over the top ending.

Seriously….consecutive Heismans?

Kinda ruined a good story with drastic overkill.

The main story was good, but the epilog was overkill regarding the hero.

i agree with jake. a good post highschool career would have been fine wiith a good pro career but not as great as you gave him. I mean he got the girl of his dreams, wha could make his life any better

I liked it a lot until the fairytale epilogue. The tone of the story before the ending was of finding joy and purpose in difficult situations... Then it switched over to Lady in Red proportions. If the whole tone was like that, then I'd feel better about it, but I felt like there was tone whiplash at the end.

Thanks for writing!

Gendered switched 'Cinderfella' Story. Where the good guy doesn't end up last. Faith, hope and Love.

one commenter mentioned brady in comparison ?? but over the last 30-40 years several quarterbacks have seemed to lead charmed lives and were heroes in their own right .

Great6, enjoyed the read. Thanks for your writing,.

An enjoyable romp. OTT ending but it made me laugh so that's a good thing. But stuff like that happens a certain Mr Brady comes to mind 😀 BardnotBard

Predictable - with some hints of sweetness. Depended on so many well-worn tropes that it edged into boring.

The last half of the last page saved it - sort of. It was so utterly over the top that it earned this tale a place in satire and humor.

All it missed was his career as an astronaut, his election as US Senator with 78% of the vote and his well-earned Nobel Prize for chemistry

I gave it a 3 because it had almost no spelling mistakes and for writing within the margins

A good fictional tale. Well done

Decent story,though I thought the end a bit rushed.

Can't believe the character of Jim Andrew's and the history of his popularity. Nor can I stand for his cuckold behavior with the whore Vicky. Not realistic. Three stars best I can do.

This is what good fiction is made of.... Unrealistic and the ending a bit over the top but if you are going to read Romantic Fiction: This is as good as any. 5/5

The story is good, especially how he fund his girl. But the story is also flooded with testosterone. Still a 4 star story.

Also is it really true that the American football players are THE stars of highschool? I only know how it is in Europe and there you don't get an extra just for doing sport. This whole thing with homecoming queen and quarterbacks seems redicoules to me

Soo over the top

Really sappy and a highly unrealistic ending. Loved it! 5 Stars.

This was fine until the last eleven or twelve paragraphs. Then it became a fairy tale.

It took away from the story and killed it for me.

As SSM will say, “this is a fairytale romance, in really life it never happens”! Vicky will cheat after two years of marriage!

@sbrooks103x

Instead of the charges being dropped, they should be "set aside." Different jurisdictions might have different terms/rules, but in my area, it means that you have to stay out of trouble for a year. If you do, THEN the charges are dropped. - Is it a law that charges should be "set aside" rather than dropped or is this another one of YOUR preferences?

/

He's the "only one her father trusted with the boat," presumably because he's responsible. To then ignore his responsible directions defeats the whole purpose. - Apparently she preferred to be a bitch, rather than going along with her fathers beliefs.

/

I still can't believe that the school didn't have insurance to pay for players' injuries. - The school DID have insurance. This is the second time you have made a comment along these lines. You might try READING NOT SKIMMING!

/

Asshole teammates. How will the coach know if they send a card, or email or make a call? For that matter, unless he's staking out the house, how would he know if the players visited? - They must have been intimidated by their bully Coach. Not only that its NOT how the story was written.

Always trying to bully writers into doing it YOUR WAY.

/

I think I said this before, but what does it say about the coach that he had "the best player he ever had" sitting on the bench as the backup? - Since you have said it before, and the story wasn't changed, there really isn't any reason to say it again.

Good story,

I intend to read all of your stories. This isn't the first of your stories I have read. I have enjoyed all I've read so far.

Keep writing and thank you.

Excellent story and great writing. Thank you.

I was looking for a little sex, but it was a great story! The prose could have been a little more descriptive.

Excellent story well told, definitely 5 stars. My only complaint is you have not submitted a story for the last approximately 5 years.

Very well done, oshaw, but the ending seemed rushed...

Anonymous from 2 months ago answered their own comment! This is to be expected when YOU SPEEDREAD! The 'voice' of the person telling the story IS a high school kid - what an immature comment!

Story good old fashioned romance.

Mentality of some comments..?

Amazingly obvious and immature, this must have been written by someone in high school.

Great story! The comment from a week ago demonstrates why not everyone should be allowed a keyboard though. Texican has a point, there are plenty of letters remaining for a new story or three! Thank you for this one.

somewhere east of Omaha

very sweet!

My biggest problem with this story is just how passive the male protagonist was throughout the entire narrative. When faced with wrongdoing or questionable behaviour he simply avoided confrontation at every opportunity. His girlfriend's repeated cheating was ignored classic cuckold little bitch that he was. Rampant steroid use instead of doing or saying something he simply avoids it personally and does NOTHING.

The group assault of two children he avoids going to the authorities and encourages a group intervention like every other liberal bitch because of course it's all about the poor criminals not about the victims.

So all in all this story is one big fuck you to any real heterosexual male and all about appeasing all of the usual liberal biases we see and hear everyday GREAT STORY CUCKBOY

I've read this Brilliant Story a dozen or so times. It's a Classic & it's got My vote 5🌟👍😁

You obviously are a romantic for only a romantic could write this well about LOVE! Full Marks! 5-Stars!!!

Love over the top happy endings! Great story too. 2017 - 2022 is a long enough vacation for you; give us a new one!

Enjoyable school story.

Flve stars

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and five extra units of insulin

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I cannot understand the fascination with football but the story was good and other than things like not field dressing that buck before carrying it over hells half acer was a good storyline for a high school romance . thanks for the great read

cowboys winning 4 super bowls LMAO. also, vicky lets her boyfriend completely berate jim in front of thousands of people and thinks it’s completely okay and then only gets with him bc she gets cheated on ? she’s a piece of shit and is not a good person and the way you tried to make her sound like a saint is whack

got me hooked into reading it all. unbelievable story, none of it could happen but still a heart warming story, just way overboard

while not a hunter thought if very odd dragging the deer back like they did...

and thought he needed to grow a pair a lot sooner...

Okay why has no one pointed out that he dragged the deer carcass back before cleaning? I’m very disappointed that the many Yanks on here dint catch that detail.

Gotta gut it where you kill it, otherwise you’ve gonna start spoiling the meat, especially if you rupture the gut. Besides who wants to carry out offal, as well as meat. Leave it for the forest scavengers

5+

Chimo

great story five stars

It is a shame that Oshaw hasn't submitted more tales, hopefully he does elsewhere. I enjoy talent, especially writers. 5 stars! BTW, SDN1955 (or can I call you Ricky) - this is a work of fiction, your points are "over the top".

somewhere east of Omaha

A couple of comments. The story was well written, no doubt of that. But

1. The MC, at least tome, was not a very likable character. He had way to much of a holier than thou attitude and it’s really no wonder his teammates abandoned him after he got injured. I think the same plot would have worked with a mor3 believable character than the male version of Mother Teresa.

2. The stuff at the end was just way, WAY over the top. A good career, a Super Bowl or two, couple of all-pro seasons would have been fine. But to have the guy be better than the combination of Brady, Montana and Bradshaw was ridiculous.

Without those two demerits, the stories a five. With them, it’s about a four.

Infosauger, outside of the Vatican, I'm not aware of too many countries where hunting is not engaged in by a statistically significant percentage of the population. Add in fishing, and you're talking about an even greater percentage of "hunters." On the plus side, they are, unlike a scarily large percentage of the population, aware that food does not originate in the Grocery store... Yes, there are adults in the Western world that think meat magically appears in the freezer.

Besides, if you eat meat, you are directly responsible for the death of an animal, even if you did not kill it yourself.

As for males showing emotion...most of the world looks down on it. Heck, I've heard of some where an emotional response to a loved one's *death* is taboo.

Another commenter feels sorry for Coach Chambers. Why do you feel sorry for a coach that pushed Steroids on his players, tried to deny his starting QB the health insurance the school bought for the team, and turned said player into a pariah?

*Rolls my eyes* (At an anon comment.) All I'll say is that I like UGA and am looking at the NFL right now and smiling. I had predicted this... but knew everyone else would have called me crazy.

The cowboys winning 4 superbowls this went from a love story to Sci fi pretty quick

Simply an excellent love story. The Shake Russell tune "You've Got a Lover" (but it's not me) was a brilliant scene. Perfect song and perfect timing. Got kinda dusty around here all of a sudden.

5/5

Nice little story but I have to do a bit of nit-picking. "...tuna fish sandwich". As opposed to a tuna dog sandwich or a tuna armadillo sandwich? Don't feel like the Lone Ranger because I'll bet more than half of the people in the country say tuna fish. I've even seen this redundancy on menus. Cree Galt

very cute!

Wasn't bad until the wish fulfillment BS at the end. Too short and too over the top.

2nd time reading this. Still a great story. I remember commenting last time about field dressing the deer before dragging it out of the woods. This time I just wanted to correct a mistake an Anon made 3 months ago saying that nobody has won the Heisman Trophy more than once. Archie Griffin from Ohio State is the only person to win it twice in 1974 and 1975 and I am happy to say it was an honor to watch him play in the Big House in Ann Arbor. I couldn't believe watching him run through the Michigan line as Michigan tacklers tried making text book tackles and were still just bouncing off his thighs. An arm tackle? forget about it. It would usually take two or three players to take him down. Back in those days Michigan and Ohio were both known for their enormous lineman. Ground and pound. Bo and Woody and I'm a Michigan fan. Thank you oshaw

Enjoyed it despite the overabundance of fantasy. Could not give it a 5 though.

Well, something I will never understand and unfortunately it is not in "fantasy land" but in USA, at least in some reagions.

You are proud for underage children, even 5, 6 or 7 years old, to kill animals. You learn them to shoot heavy weapons and are proud when they can kill with them.

But if they try to show love they get grounded.

It seems in the USA there are these rules for children: Learn to kill before thinking about loving. If you can kill you are a man, but showing love is for wimps.

Yeah, it can only happen in "fantasy land"!

Great story - beginning to end. This is my second time through the list of 11, just wish there were more. 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

Plot holes out the ass and the ending was pretty rushed, but overall a pretty cute romance story.

Very nice story, O!

OK I fucking love this story. I played QB in High school and had a carrer ruined by an ACL tear at the end of my Junior season. you nailed how hard rehab is and how tough it can be to watch someone take over for you at the position you love. that said some of the football stuff you screwed up on. no one has ever won the hiesmene more than once the closest anyone has ever come to that is TIm Tebow who is arguably the greatest Collegiat player ever. secondly Jerry Jones the owner and GM of the Cowboys is tot cheap to trade up in the draft for a QB he would rather take a guy who needs some time to develop in the second or 3rd round, however the leaving with 4 super bowl rings, 10 pro bowls and 2 MVP awards is completly doable, just not in only 10 seasons. other than that though you nailed this story and I fucking loved it.

Oh god what a spoiled brat he is it’s all about how good he is and everybody else is so bad, not sure why I got to the end of this.

Well written but you could leave out the hunting expedition & develope the plot between Viki & Shoe a little more. She seems to have gone to him too soon & on a rebound.

Overall ****

So weird tried to score this a 5 but it would not take it. It took a 4 with no issues. Odd

Instead of the charges being dropped, they should be "set aside." Different jurisdictions might have different terms/rules, but in my area, it means that you have to stay out of trouble for a year. If you do, THEN the charges are dropped.

/

He's the "only one her father trusted with the boat," presumably because he's responsible. To then ignore his responsible directions defeats the whole purpose.

/

I still can't believe that the school didn't have insurance to pay for players' injuries.

/

Asshole teammates. How will the coach know if they send a card, or email or make a call? For that matter, unless he's staking out the house, how would he know if the players visited?

/

I think I said this before, but what does it say about the coach that he had "the best player he ever had" sitting on the bench as the backup?

It's a very nice story but you kick a ball as in football not the way you stupid people think that you can throw it.

A bit much for his accomplishments. Silly really

nice! The cream always rises to the top. Great story. Good to see good romance stories with no need for erotic sex scenes, good writing doesn't need them. Keep up the good work!

I felt bad for Coach Chambers. He got a raw deal.

I keed. I keed.

No ending. Hdk would be proud. There are a ton of decent writers here who get bored and just finish a story.

I would bet my left breast that Oshaw wrote most of this in one sitting. He didn't know how to end it so he left it sit. A few months later or more he came back and just finished it without worrying about arc or resolution.

There are a TON of writers here that do.this. HDK is famous. I am convinced it is designed to "not offend" by leaving the story open ended. They are too chickenshit to actually complete an arc.

It's a five and a fave, none the less.

I thought the characters and story were worth another episode, rather than rounding it all off in the last few chapters.

LOL total Schmaltz. Then again I'm a lady and sometimes I just love it. After a particularly long and arduous day I love reading stories like this with a glass of wine followed by a romp with my own hero.

I'm quite partial to this kind of story, the downbeaten hero, out for the count, gets up just in time to conquer all.

This one wasn't bad but EVERY turn was so clearly advertised in advance that I could tell the way it would go from the moment we heard of the head coach and the high-maintenance girlfriend. The only thing I got wrong was that Jim got injured, I was guessing he would have a showdown with the coach and be kicked off the team. And the bit near the end with Vicky's surprise visit to her home town was just as transparent, surprises ALWAYS end badly in these stories!

I also agree with the previous poster about how Jim could be so thoroughly ostracized by the entire school, since he was described as a truly stand-up guy. Plus the coaches could of course cut him off from football but hardly forbid his friends on the team to have any contact with him. I get that they might risk the coach's fury as well if they did so anyway, but at least some of them would have phoned him or emailed him or something to say that they were sorry, but they couldn't take that risk. Not just shunning him like that.

Further, the rest of the players and the rest of the school would have been well aware of what kind of an asshole Ricky was and some of them would have continued to be at least civil to Jim.

And one more thing: what would it take for these people to call the police? An 18 y/o boy beating up a child? No matter if Jim tried to intervene on behalf of his team mates, Jimmy's parents would definitely have been on the phone to the police the moment Vicky told them what had happened! This is (apparently) white, middle-class America, the police would have taken this seriously. Jim was at that time unknown to them, and for all they knew could just be trying to get his friends off easy. Then there were the attack in the school, the business with the drugs, the coach's disregard for the rules and so on.

Then the end... I prefer when authors leave something to the reader's imagination, not telling about the rest of their lives, but that is a matter of taste. But closing with this sort of of Fairy tale ending where absolutely everything goes his way, and all his adversaries are punished, takes away every shred of likeness to the real world from it.

One last private opinion, I can bear a grudge I admit, but that kind of fair-weather friends who clapped for him at the last game of the season? I would have been pissed off, where were they when Jim had actually needed their support? They can go shove it.

Ricky is a DB, and KT is a shallow bitch, easy to understand. Hard to understand how all of his friends could turn on him as described. Just seems unlikely. Saw the college beat out coming a mile away... expected it. Rest of the fairy tale ending was definitely over the top. BUT... the thing that bothered me the most was the romance, or lack of it. Vicky appreciated Will's friendship, and liked him as one, and stopped him to remain true to her boyfriend Will, but it was difficult to get a feel for whether she truly had any romantic feelings for Jim. She was devastated by the dual betrayal, and was emotionally drained from the event, and then just seemed to settle for Jim. Hardly a romance, more like settling for what was then available. Just seemed wrong. Jim didn't really seem to "win" her, he just got her by default, and he seemed perfectly okay with that, which was disappointing.

Although a little over the top with Mr. Dudley Do Right, it was an amusing story with the bad guys getting their butts kicked, the good guy with a shooting star career and a happy ending for the friends and family of the good guy. It was a fun read.

This is by far one of the best stories I have ever read. Please keep up the fantastic work you are doing.

Must be nice to be the only responsable person around, taking charge of his peers and teaching gun safety etc. Busted knee and NFL best career and such records. TOO long and so sad

Just to clarify, you hunt deer from a stand, and water fowl from a blind. A very enjoyable story.

But a whole lot of fun to read. Four stars because I very rarely give five

Narc with a c

And then ... Imagine my surprise at being asked to go up to the Oval Office where our GREAT PRESIDENT awarded me a Purple Heart AND made me Commander of the US Space Command. A dream come true. And then ... Vicky was made Pope. I know, you can’t believe any of it either!

This was a fun story, bit too over the top at the end, but I but you had fun writing it.

Was waiting for the last line; "... then I woke up. Damn. What a dream."

4 stars

I did enjoy

But take away at least half the awards and accolades

Glad romance triumphs

Enjoyed it as much the second time. I hope you write more tho it looks like the jerks on here ran you off. 10 time pro bowl, two heisemans, 4 superbowls.....why the hell not. Great read and thank you. 5

It was a good story but I felt it would have been better if you didn't add the last picture-perfect happy ending part. It would have been more interesting to explore the love story of the two lovers in more depth instead. Still, it was good writing. Good luck.

A sweet, sweet story, well written and with several elements included. A real delight to read, and re-read!

Two teams I hate: The New England Cheating Patriots and the Dallas Fucking Cowboys ever since shit for brains bought it and fired Tom Landry, it used to be the classiest organization in pro football. Other than that, even though the characters and story line were rather predictable it was a fun read - good job. Signed: BTW

Heisman winners forget hard work is REQUIRED. All failures, but they have their worthless college memory's. It's a nice fantasy story. Remember truth is often stranger than fiction Author,write about that...

This was a fairy tale from the beginning, all five pages, and I was like a little kid that couldn’t stop reading until the prince slew the evil dragon, married the beautiful princess and they lived happily ever after.

I love happy endings, especially when it includes Dallas winning 4 more Superbowls. Ha!

We love your stories Oshaw. Please write some more?

Thanks for posting. 5 stars, of course.

Now come on, you just had to use the cowboys lol. Good story