by MemberX
Doubt that a 'Jenny' would suddenly appear like that.
Glad that the cousins finally got it on.
They decided a year after the fact that it violated some guidelines.
My explaining this to you was far more than I owe to a rude, name-calling asshole.
WHERE THE FUCK IS CHAPTER ONE? you post chapter two and three-four but no one what kind of idiot wannabe writer are you? delete all stories and stop writing you can't write and obviously can't count.
For a minute there I was hopping Jenny would join in. Great job can't wait to read chapter 3
Nice conversational dialog between the cousins, natural and with the right amount of humor. You've created very likable characters. You have a knack. I liked the way you started the story, it made perfect sense to me. To Negative Anonymous: Please stop, your sucking the air out of this site. Also, you might want to take your own advice about an editor.
Although I happen to like the way the flashback worked out, I had a specific reason for writing it that way: Literotica is very strict about characters under the age of 18 being involved in sexual situations, and I suspected that opening with two 11-year-olds in a voyeurism scenario -- especially with the suggestion that Zoey became sexually aroused -- would get the story rejected. Presenting this all in the context of two 18-year-olds' memories, on the other hand, might (and did) make it all acceptable.
i love the story, the emotion between the two, and the unexpected visit from jenny. Unfortunantly i have to agree with the first anonymous tard, that there should be a prequal to when it first started, but i dont agree that you need an editor, it was a good story and i enjoyed it,so please keep it going!
I enjoyed reading this story I thought it was well done ... Unlike that first dick lick who had nothing but critisism
is that if a story isn't structured the way YOU would write it, it's not a good story? Where are your stories, by the way, so we can compare?
You are the reason I won't write for Literotica.
both chapters deffinetly need a rewrite and a good editor don't let your EGO prevent you from posting good stories always use a good editor first. you also should have started AT THE BEGINING not seven and a half years later and you should have said what happened eith the brother and sister i.e. did they keep fucking or was it a one time thing. quite a few holes that need filling please do it soon