All Comments on 'Back Home Again'

I liked it, but since it was in Romance I wish there had been more about the actual romance. Everything is glossed over with Melody and it ends abruptly. I would have liked to learn more, after that little bit at lunch, about the developing relationship. If Jazz is so certain they will marry, what is it about her that makes him certain? What is the connection they have like? Maybe an encounter or two more between them to make us believe that that is really where it is going. And maybe a small sizzle between them (even if it is only about eye contact...there can still be sizzle!) would get us excited for the possibilities. Good start though.

....but I'm having a hard time buying the 1900 miles in 23 on a Harley. Now, if you'd said Guzzi.....!!!

But as pointed out below, if you had fleshed it out a bit more it would have been a great story...

but i have to agree with previous posts that it needed fleshed out. it could have gone on for a couple more pages, or another chapter, whichever worked out best. as it stands it belongs more in the cheating wives catagory, you pretty much skipped over the romantic portion of the story.

Where was the romance? It takes two to have a romance. As readers we need to see some depth to a relationship for it to become a romance, and that means depth in each of the two people as well.

My comment is just one man's opinion. I have read several of you stories now and generally you do some good work. If I had my way I would like to see you start extending your stories. You have a good command of the mechanics of storytelling, good character development, plausable story lines, even time lines and story speed. It just seems that with all of the back story and explaination that the stories need more depth or development. You get me invested in the characters and the story line and then things end too quickly. I would hate to see you just ramble on but I would like to see you take on more plot points and write more involved stories. I think you are capable of more and would like to encourage to to "reach". But like I said, it is just one man's opinion. anon jerry

This is the second time I've read this story and it was as good as the first time. Well done!

Hey, I was reading this and I really enjoyed the story. I do believe that you can really expand this story and make it into something much bigger. Good luck with your work :)

Loved the style and character interaction.

The end though was a tad bit anemic .......

Good read :-)

with how this story went.

It took a lot to get to the romance and then it was all over really quickly :(

Absurd to believe that reconciliation with parents and bare acceptance of brother would take place that quickly.

I hated it but gave it two stars because it was well written. I feel it is in the wrong category; probably belongs in fetish if anywhere at all. Thanks for your effort.

I don't know why I chose to comment on a mind fuck story in the Romance section. William and Shelley weren't part of a romance. They are rodents that gravitated story over. The characters William and Shelly destroyed any aspect of romance in this story when homicidal feelings were the only ones omnipresent, not very romantic? You think? I didn't like this story at all. There probably was a lot of effort for this author to squeeze this into the romance category. It seemed more of an afterthought then the true direction this author may have had in mind, How would I know? Thanks for your effort!

Just re-read this after a year or so since the first reading. I think it's well plotted, well executed, and the writing style fits the character and the situation perfectly. I can understand why some of the readers would have liked it to be drawn out longer, but that's your decision and I respect your judgment.

I was rather shocked by the harshly negative tone of so many of the comments. I wonder how many stories they have written. This guy "Anonymous" must be one hell of a writer!

Thanks for sharing. And thanks for the information will check it out as soon as I get a chance.

should have been listed in lw but in all good read keep it up

All you guys writing to say you didn't like the story are gutless wimps

If I don't like a story, I don't finish it and damn sure I don't sit down and write telling God and everybody how you feel as is someone cared.

If there is an issue i have with something I send a feedback note

I don't have a big enough ego to show the world how discerning I am not.

Kismet put the balance into perspective, occasionally a plus, TK U MLJ LV NV

The rest is stage setting -

I love the story. You could lengthen the story with graphic sex but I am glad you did not. 5*

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

He violated the number one "guy" rule: NEVER go after your friends/brothers girl. What a prick. The girl is just as bad.

Owe William and Shelley a thank you. He may not have been in love with Shelley, but his brother had no right to snake him that way and she was just using him to get to his brother. She should have been up front with him and told him how she felt.

That's the decision he will have to make when Shelley cheats on his fat ass brother and leaves him for another guy. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Jazz won't have to do a thing to get back at William, its just gonna happen.

This story makes me feel good, happy ending and tho not quite made up with brother and ex girlfriend, it still is a better ending than I expected.

As usual the Woodman has likable characters, a decent plot and good writing. And once again he has someone run rather than face adversity. He has a template for his stories and he just plugs in new details. Reminds me of an interview a journalist had with Zane Grey (if you have to ask who that is, read no further). Grey wrote a very large number of Western stories in the old, unsexy, good-guy-in-the-white-hat style. The reporter asked how Grey got his plots for his numerous novels. He was taken into a room that had a series of clothes lines criss-crossing it with the covers of all of Grey's novels clipped to them. He said that he'd take the hero from this story, the villain from that one, the heroine from another and so on til he had a new novel, I don't know if this was really true, but authors do that: build on previous successes. PD James is another author who does that quite obviously. Louis L'Amour was a western writer who did this quite successfully. It does work and even if Woodman is not making a living at writing, he still is successful doing it this way. Up to a point I am enjoying this style and I'll probably try a couple more. 5*

but she will always leave a solution for those who can discover it, TK U MLJ LV NV

There are older brothers who take great effort to be just like William. I'm just glad my brother and I weren't bound together by a family business.

Where is the rest of the story, where William and Shelley are found stealing from the company after their dad's death due to heart complications. I wanted see William get a beating and Melody beat up Shelley!

does this work? "She didn't really count because we were just fishing buddies and she was four years younger than me. We were pals until our junior year in high school."

She was four years younger, but they were both juniors in high school????

A good story, but you rushed the ending. You had set the basis to write a much longer and better tale.

Mom and Dad didn't like Shelly. When she threw herself at William, both his Mom and Dad should have shown Shelly the door. If Willam wanted Shelly then he should of left with her. Shelly wasn't good wife material.

In fact, mostly quite good as far as it goes. But what some earlier comments said seems true: you tend to write the same story, way too often.

I also wish you would learn to proofread and edit.

If was jazz, I'd think I'd done more than broke his nose, brother or no, we have a saying where I come from and that is.....(you dont shit on your own doorstep). But William did.

I was looking for a romance story and was able to find it at the end of the story. Mostly this was a story of brother against brother and riding around the country on a motorcycle. Needed to see more of Melody and the romance between her and Jazz. Still, it was an interesting story.

Really? With his dad standing between the two? So you would have pushed or knocked the father away to go after the brother?

He says, and he seems to mean, he was just about to go nuclear on him, but dad intervened. Author didn’t say Jazz wimped out. So that was good enough, no?

needs completing

Good start of a story, but where's the ending?

Is this a stand-alone story?

The story seemed to be building to a climax, but the climax never arrived. This average story just ... ended.

First half of this story was great. The 2nd half was missing or was more of an outline. Disappointing!

Like a diver on a spring board the approach was spot on, the launch looked great, and the lift to the apex was crisp, then the whole thing just fell apart and a thing that began gracefully ended in a belly flop. It just stopped! It seemed the diver got distracted and forgot to finish the rotation.

It's like this guy is literary premature ejaculator Once upon a time.........The End🤓

Missing the 2nd half of the story with Melody!

An incomplete end kind of!! Not sure about his parents!! At least he had the balls to leave when he did and survive without his parents!! Now it seems like he is again beong manipulated by them....time to find his balls again

I enjoyed the story. I am glad you kept it short. I love reading stories, but I give too much of my time reading them.

I do agree with the thought you had a good foundation for a deeper more developed story. So, why not take this foundation and show us the depth of your talent.

Start where Melody is introduced and then rebuild the plant and it’s promotion value. Do your research and show the strength and value of each character all the way to the altar. You have a good imagination and a talent of putting it on paper.

Thank you for sharing.

Sorry I am Anonymous, as I am a reader not a writer.

Jazz' parents knew. about William and. Shelley, no wonder they weren't keen about Jazz marrying her.

4 all of yea.... No Likey... Write your OWN STORY., then let us Readers.. disk i mean comment on YOURS,.

THKS 4 THE STORY.. 👍👍💯✌️🤷