by duranman
You must have forgotten to post 2nd, and maybe 3rd, page. I think I am going to like where this is going, especially with the younger daughter looking so good.
Where are the rest of the pags ao are you going to STRING us along and draw it out.If you do that no one will keep reading.
Ended way to soon for the first chapter try and make the second one longer and get farther into the storyline
Keep going with this story. It has lots of promise and is nicely written and I am sure it will be a firm hit with a lot of readers. Best regards
Love it being so concise, teasing the reader. Brilliantly written with endless possibilities- can't wait for next chapter!!!
great start but too brief. Hope following chapters dont disappoint