All Comments on 'Best Friends'

This just seems like three or four stories that got jammed into one by accident. Just bad, wandering, all over the map writing.

Didn't enjoy it at all. Too many reasons to list why, so I'll just leave it at that.

Three negative comments right away? Huh.

I enjoyed it a lot. You are a skilled storyteller.

Jav, you might want to reread this again and maybe learn a thing or two. I've read your stories and Saxon is easily much better and far more entertaining.

I liked it a lot... Yeah, it wasn't entirely cohesive, but not everyone's life is just one story. I like it was a little messy, and even though I knew it was coming I was a little shocked at the betrayal... You got me to buy into the relationships.

I always enjoy Saxon_Hart's stories. No one indulging in the cuckold lifestyle in them. No wimp-assed reconciliations with vapid, selfish bitches. No unrealistic endings with the hero winning the lottery and fucking 27 virgins.

Great to see you posting again ! Its a keeper ! 5*

I'm glad to see some of the old guard posting new stories ! Had a few from JPB, QHML1, Imhapless, and a few others from the Golden Era of LW lately, and I'm glad to see it ! I certainly hope that you'll have some more in the near future !

P.S. Javamor, I'm one of your biggest cheerleaders on this site , but please allow we of the BTB persuasion to have a few ones for us ! After all isn't there enough willing cuck sucking creampie stories on here for that crowd !!!!! And as always here's wishing that BonnieTaylor and VestieSmith contract terminal Ass Warts! lol chuckle !

The other Mr. Anonymous got it right. This is a BTB fantasy for the outdoors crowd and nothing wrong with that. But it's not to be compared with javmor79 who writes about believable people.

Good story...LW is needing them...Rate two stories 4* in the same day is a rarity in the last times in LW...The dogs were different approach and a good one...mother nature sometimes take justice in her good hands...Marry Xmas and Happy New Year to the writer and to all writers and readers of LW...

A hot 20 something hooking up and marrying a 40+ yr old? Why not just have him win the fucking lottery too. Maybe have him call up some of the Kings of Instagram so they can compare bullshit, because that's about all this story did for me.

No fucking wonder she cheated on him, they were never in love...just like.

That's easy. If you're a man, Saxen Hart; if you're a cuck, Javmor79.

and 3 pages too long.

Still, this was way better than anything that wimpy shit Javmor79 ever wrote. 3*

She was only 10 years younger. Didn't you read the story? She was 30 when they hooked up he was upper30's. Good story SH. Glad to see you're not dead.

He thought it was so funny when Jay was banging their boss's wife.

Not so funny when its your own spouse huh???

Also knowing the kind of person Jay was, why would anyone continue to be friends with him. Male character was stupid and a hypocrite.

3 stars at best.

@ javmor79 - So you give this story a 1 star?? Y because there weren't enough cucks for your liking??? Ive seen you review a lot of horrible stuff and you critique them at length. Mostly of those stories have pathetic male protagonists. We can safely see where your interests lie with all the crap you have been writing recently.

_ Dam.

Didn't realize it was wrong to not like a story. So much ire!. Lol. Oh well. Hopefully my self esteem can take the hit.

Happy holidays everyone.

i was gonna give it a 1. come on, ive read the "my best friend is a pussy hound , but he would never fuck MY wife" story a hundred fucking times. it even had his boss/ best friend sending him out of town so he could fuck her.plus the whole i secretly love his wife theme also. thats like 4 or 5 cliches to many. then you did the dogs and killed them off with a storm. that was a good come back and ending.so i put it at 3.

I thought the story was ok. A little too much suspension of belief needed for it to be enjoyable though. Still, well written enough to get a 3.

I find it funny. Javmor79 trashes Matt Morreau or Xleglover and everyone is like "Yeah, what Javmor said". He trashes StangStar or Saxon Hart and all of a sudden he is a cuck? People are saying that his stories are cucky shit because he didn't praise your hero, yet in the comment section of his stories everyone is saying how realistic his characters are.

The crowd is fickle. Or stupid. Take your pick.

The first half of the story, I was checking my phone for missed calls, picking my toes, checking stock prices...which is shorthand for 'it dragged'. I think you could have tightened up the first hurricane story by a dozen paragraphs or so.

Then we went into his whore ways. When it was finally revealed that he had PTSD, I felt cheated initially. I did not feel that you had laid out sufficient clues for us to get there. Maybe some physical reactions. However, on reflection, HE did not know he had PTSD and people acting irrationally...behave irrationally! So I changed my mind on describing the scenario. I was scratching my head 'He has TWO hot chicks who want him at a club and he is begging off?" Explicable only when you put the pieces together. So well done there.

HOWEVER, I am not sure it brought a whole lot to the story. I guess as a huge marlin spike through the foot to show he REALLY hated adultery, but we already established he really hated adultery, so that whole 'I can't meet you because I am crazy' thing was, for the purposes of the story, mostly irrelevant fluff. Interesting fluff, but fluff.

I kept getting these names thrown at me: Jay, Terry, Loren, Pam, Brandi, Renee and I have to say I went into a bit of overload.

I am going hard negative, so let me wedge in a compliment. You did some fucking research! Thank GOD! The difference between research and no research is staggering in a story. You wrote with a deft hand in the descriptions of the hurricanes, something which probably wouldn't be as skilled if you had not done so.

Personally, I would have added that anecdote about the dogs earlier in the story as a scene so it flowed naturally, not appearing as a deux ex machina. It was not terrible placement, but that Terry story could have been it's own scene to give a sense of how they interacted as a couple as well as maybe adding another 'Renee loves him' scene because...

Renee came out of left field...and she came out of left field again. I get that she was smitten by Carey but I thought she told him a) that she had a guy already and b) saw that he was CLEARLY more into Lizzy than herself and she wasn't interested in being second place (though, on reflection, Renee DID call him first when he ran like a little girl in that club). She seemed to take herself out of the running, though maybe I misremember that passage.

Because we are all experts on detecting infidelity, we could see where this was going, but that is not the fault of the author, and he realized that what the author adds to the story is emotion, drama, and novelty; a new way to deal with cheaters or for them to be caught. For that, full marks (though I wonder how Jay got into the house at all! Maybe the dogs were out back...yeah, that's the ticket. Enough of an excuse to enjoy the rest of the story)

Overall, it was an interesting story and held my attention. The drama of the incoming storm was a nice backdrop to the drama in the guest room. All my bitches and moans above is from an anal retentive asshole who makes comments. But Saxon is grown up enough to take constructive criticism. And no, my writing has huge flaws in it as well, but sometimes you need outside eyes to see the flaws (I am still kicking myself for some of mine)

I'm not sure why the first three pages were necessary. Telling us the backstory of a couple before giving us a reason to give a shit about their history is always a mistake. If you HAVE to give is the history, find a way to do it later on and in a way that feels organic to the story.

The wife is basically a dozen characters, depending on the moment. Even within the moment of getting caught she rotates between simpering regret and openly mocking the man she's trying to prevent from leaving her. She doesn't feel like a person at all...there isn't enough consistency of personality for that...and as a result this doesn't feel like a betrayal. When BTBers opt out of creating a character for the wife to be, I wish they realized that they also undercut the drama, sense of victory, and the quality of their main character. This guy's best friend was a blatant piece of shit from day one. He married a person who seems to have a personality disorder. These things (created by you) SAY something about him. Giving them richer personalities would lessen the negative impact of that.

Anybody willing to let someone die because they're mad at them deserves to be cheated on. A lot. It pulled me right out of rooting for him.

Unpredictable story - lots of twists and turns. Guess because I'm very familiar with Houston area and have first-hand experience with the [expletive deleted] hurricanes, it made the story relevant to me. I disagree with most of the other commentators and see it as a five star story.

One of the first stories I read on this site was yours. Read them more than once. Thank you for something new. Keep it going.

but there is still life and skullduggery everywhere. TK U MLJ LV NV

Hurricane season is over. It was mild in 2015 and not all names on the list were used. For those not aware, there is a list of names proposed by weather service before start of each years storm watch.

Having said all of the above now guess what name was next in line for 2015. Hint, it is female and starts with K! Yes, it is

Kate

I enjoyed your weaving 2 storylines. I am not a critic but I like a good story even if isn't fairy tale. Please keep submitting

Ed

It actually surprises me that you think that way, given how good your stories were at playing out more complex characters. I see these sorts of comments in stories and I just think that your lives must be blessed if you have only ever met people who behave in one consistent way, without being hypocrites or without holding two conflicting points of view at any time.

"He married a person who seems to have a personality disorder." Maybe he did! I don't think so, but just because it wasn't diagnosed or talked about specifically doesn't mean it wasn't so. Maybe she was just oscillating between defensive and offensive in the moment - she was angry, had been trapped for 3 days, knew his "player" background even though that wasn't him, but wanted him to forgive her. So, she was "baby please forgive me, it meant nothing" and "if you were a real man you'd get over this, you're a bastard" at the same time.

There's also the protagonists actions at the time too - while begging to be forgiven he takes her grandmother's china and feeds the dog off it, he threatens them, he keeps them trapped - why wouldn't she be upset and antagonistic at that? So yeah, two different moods, two different and even conflicting emotions at the same time. God forbid any real person would be like that!

Yes, being friends with a douche is stupid. Glad you were never friends with one, I have been and they're in my past, but they were friends at the time and I was possibly stupid or for their faults they were good to me, and we were good friends. I can see why he thought it was funny what Jay was doing because he knew Loren and didn't like Loren, but still disapproved in what Jay was doing - but also had a larger relationship with Jay and the friendship wasn't just make or break on one aspect of Jay's personality or behaviour.

"Giving them richer personalities would lessen the negative impact of that. " Actually, I think apparently giving them richer personalities made you upset because you wanted simple personalities that only behaved and believed one way. Oh well.

"Anybody willing to let someone die because they're mad at them deserves to be cheated on. A lot." He wasn't willing to let them die. If he was he would have locked them in or something. Yes, he should have warned them about the gas, but he was in a vicious place. He woke them and warned them about the storm several times though. The thoughts about the gas were "they're adults, they should be able to deal with this" that's possibly being blasé, about something that could be crucial in the moment - but I think that was an expression of his mood and how he wanted to hurt them... he wasn't going out of his way to let them be hurt, but he wasn't going out of his way to rescue them either.

Honestly, does it have to be one clean, simple thing for folks? Huh.

I loved the guarding dogs and using the hurricane as a prop.

and disagree with The Unorginialist to an extent

The wife, as originally portrayed, was like the vast majority of LW wives: a happy fuck machine with barely any personality. So yes, she was simplistic in that regard.

However, she was stuck in a room, crapping in the corners, pissing on the rug OF HER HOME (i.e. she is cleaning it up) with a HURRICANE bearing down on them, no food and no water (well maybe some rain water...one wonders why they didn't take the fall from the second story window)

So when husband comes home, she is both elated and totally ashamed and not in a good place physically (Jay fucking her after that...a bridge too far to show her crapulence) So, she feels they have rather more important matters to deal with than fighting about the marriage...like food, water, a shower, toilet paper, getting away from the piles of crap in the room from two people and 4 dogs for three days...

She knew she was wrong and she started apologetic...but can we PLEASE get away from the storm? Hubby is a major dick to her. He keeps her a prisoner, makes her feel like a low piece of trailer trash, humiliates her to the wife, and makes her eat dog food...while that storm is still coming along. She knows she's wrong, but she certainly felt that her years of fucking him like a beast, cooking and cleaning for him certainly merited at least the right for him NOT to treat her like a dog. Divorce, maybe. SHE felt he owed her a talk and some basic human fucking decency, like not threatening her life (and letting her near a toilet...SOON)

So looking at it from her perspective, I can understand her mood swing. For her, she had been being punished for her actions for the last three days. She hadn't even been allowed a talk. Granted she was wrong morally for cheating. Was she wrong to expect something better than she got? Maybe...a set of clothes and her husband driving her to her parents if he was so pissed off? Not an unreasonable expectation.

This was negligent manslaughter on his part.

So...did she die in a fire or was she drowned by the storm. That point was unclear.

I've always thought that some of the bodies found in the wake of Katrina probably didn't get killed by the hurricane. My only concern in this story was why Jay and Lizzy didn't go out the bedroom window, second story or not. String a couple of sheets together, throw the mattress down to land on and soften the blow. Failing that, sheetrock isn't much of a deterrent. Knock a hole into the next room and leave that way or trap the dogs in the bedroom. Really not much imagination required to escape the dogs. That was a big hole in the story. And the other thing that came to mind? Why would there be a gas buildup in a storm? Plywood wouldn't have sealed the house. Wind would have been blowing the gas around, dissipating it. And would the power still be working in the storm? Sorry. Been through a Cat 4. Weird things happen. Good story, just a couple of holes in my mind.

Gave it a four. It's not nearly perfect, and thus a five. Too long a set up, and not enough emotion. We really don't know anything about his relationship with Lizzy except that they had hot and frequent sex. We do know that he's a less than perfect employee, and a complainer with a somewhat loose screw because of his bar encounter with the gun. There was no real suspense about what was happening between Jay and Lizzy, just a question of how, which turned out to be the meat of the story at the end. No mention of the dogs until their role in the absence of the cheaters from communication. Then wham, bam, thank you mam they're dead, he's found new love, and he lives happily ever after. Still a good story, and as you are prone to produce, technically well done, also.

Too much time spent on things that neither drive the story forward nor illuminate the characters -- like most of the first two pages. Too little time spent on stuff that matters, like the relationship between Carey and Lizzie. Come to think of it, we never get to know either of them very well, which makes both of them less sympathetic. I don't have a problem with Lizzie's changing moods when she's trapped: she'll say and do whatever she thinks will get her out of trouble: internal consistency isn't important to her at this point.

Stories like this I wish we had a 10 rate system. It's better than a 4 but not quite a 5.

The end felt rushed while others felt a tad bloated. Still, in all a pretty good read.

A nice story from a master story teller. Is it his best? Probably not but it's damn good. That makes it better than 99.9 percent of the usual drivel posted here.Well done, Mr. Hart. I've read all your work and you are part of a select group that I have. Please tell me we'll see more from you and more often. I do remember you, with great fondness.

As for comparing your work with Javmore79 or whatever, I've never heard anything more preposterous. It's like comparing the New England Patriots to a third grade Pop Warner team. Javmore is a clown that writes cuck stories. He presumes to give advice to a legend like Mr. Hart. He can't tie Mr. Hart's literary shoes.

Please write more stories and I'll read them. Thank you for sharing. Randi

I was apologies to ' Gladiator ' . Although Unoriginalist and FD45 voiced what would have been of my critiques ( but with far more insight )., tThe last three pages was Loving Wives catnip. Rough start, but escalated to furious and riveting finish. That doesn't happen often in this genre. The dogs were potrayed sublimely. Kudos.

DFWBeauty and I spent the weekend on one of Bolivar Peninsula's beaches 26 days before Ike arrived. The.holiday was pleasantly memorable with the exception of our welcome by the Bolivar police department. I'm sure I along with the dozen of other motorists that were lined up on the side of the road didn't appreciate the $165 'no seatbelt' ticket we received as we drove off the Bolivar Ferry on to the peninsula paved strret.

I was so pissed at that little trap that I drafted a nasty little note to email to Bolivar City Hall. Ike beat me to it, so I modified the message. DFWBeauty reminded me of the loss of our hostess' home and the loss of life caused by Ike so I ended up deleting it. What was the message? Simple. It read... "karma's a bitch ain't it?"

Still have mixed feelings about Bolivar Peninsula. Sorry for those individuals that lost their homes, but will never visit there again.

Enjoyed the story, SH. Although it wasn't as good as some of your past ones. Would liked to have seen more character dev on Renee and more depth for Lizzy. Jay was pretty cardboard. I've seen how well you've developed the characters of some of your past 'villians' and would've liked to seen Lizzy and Jay's perspective (even if selfish and skewed).

Got to admit you always make me laugh with some of your descriptions and thoughts by your main characters. TSA, humorless cocksuckers! Oh yeah, I know first hand how well they deal with sarcasm. And internal monologues sounding like boastful high school bullshit, had me crackin up.

Look forward to your next story.

Not his best, the build up was a tad long but overall it was quite a good yarn. In my opinion Carrie didn't kill his cheating exfriend and wife or leave them to die. They were relatively healthy and we'll when he left... the asshole was if he could find the strength to fuck under those conditions. If it was me I might, key word might have warned them about the smell of gas but that would have been the only different thing I would do in his shoes.

4/5 story in my opinion but I'm still waiting for the story that beats out "Eat Your Fuckin Cake".

Don't understand how me saying a few words about a story that I didn't enjoy spurred so much controversy, but okay. If I effect that many people with a few words, I have to take that as a compliment. Not sure why the disrespect. I have never been disrespectful to anyone, even if I disagreed with them. But no worries. I will not start now.

As far as Saxon Hart, I hope he wasn't offended. I don't want to offend another author. The commenters being offended, it is what it is. But authors who submit do so with their heart on their sleeve. If I did, I apologize.

As far as people thinking I'm a "cuck", I have to seriously laugh at that. If that is what you believe, then there is no point wasting time convincing you otherwise. That would be a waste an intelligent conversation.

I do want to thank all of the people who emailed me with support. I didn't even realize it was that big of a deal until I started reading the emails. Imagine my surprise getting close to a dozen emails when I haven't submitted a story. Anyways, thank you guys.

Happy Holidays Literotica crew! Hope you all have a pleasant Christmas full of memories. After all of the presents and things are done, that is what the season is really about.

This was a long boring rambling story. You should give up writing. Gave you 1* and wish I could have given less.

A very well-paced, dramatic story.

Oh, by the way, careful reading of the story would reveal they left in the car that was found some short distance from their bodies.

Javmor79: I believe the hostile response to your comment was probably based more on the 1 bomb than for you not caring for the story. A 1 denotes a story that is utterly worthless. Trash. Saxon has talent, and the story had some original ideas, so I don't see the justification for a 1 as opposed to a 2 or a 3. I liked it more than that, but that's my own taste. That doesn't mean you deserved such a vehement backlash, but you were a bit harsh with that rating.

As for Saxon, as one of my favorite writers on Lit, I'm very happy to see you back. I hope there's more to come.

Cog

You're out of your league, son. Stick with your comic books.

Since my comment seemed to bring on something of a storm of its own, I will illustrate what I was talking about...especially since I am talking about the craft of presenting the scene, not crying foul of the intention.

Having a character say "oh, boo hoo. Mr righteous is upset," and then almost immediately say "don't go, I need you," requires some finesse in the way of how it is presented. The dialog can't do all the lifting there. Without the tiny details that give away the undercurrent that is the psyche, it just doesn't communicate enough to work. But it does solidify as you add those details in. Experimenting with a short example, just briefly:

"Boo hoo," she sneered suddenly, lurching at the door. "Mr Righteous is upset."

"I'm no more righteous than some," I responded flatly. "Now, shouldn't you two be more worried about the storm? And what you'll do about it after I go?"

The sneer faded out, the absurdity of her vitriol becoming clear even to her. "Don't go," she whispered quickly. "Don't leave me." Her eyes widened, as though she had just shared a terrible secret. And there, in the span of a blink, her very spirit seemed to hollow out. "Don't leave me. I need you."

And to be honest, I don't know if she was asking me to save her from the storm, or herself.

Thank you Mr. Anonymous for your explanation.

When I made my response, I had just finished working. It was 3 in the morning. I was too tired to explain why I didn't like it. Granted, the 1 bomb may have been harsh considering the fact that Saxon Hart is an excellent author, so I will accept that.

Considering the response it got, I don't feel explaining it now is warranted. But at least Mr Anonymous had the respect to let me know.

Great story , nice read. Hope to see more from you soon.

Not a bad story...It developed pretty slow and even with all those pages the characters seemed like cardboard cutouts of stereotypes.

I really hoped that his wife wasn't going to cheat but... It just all happened fast and was very easy to predict.

The happy ending with a bow on top was a bit much too. Why would someone wait for years to be with a guy...and he just jumped up and married her and they had a child. All live happily ever after. Epilogues that roll over years tend to feel like a cop out. Tell a story. Let the readers enjoy it. Let life be messy.

I read for entertainment and this story did just that, entertain. That's the only reason I read here, unlike others who give low scores without a reason. Good to have you write again author. We need all the help we can in loving wives, since 99% in this category is nothing but trash.

But its always tough to manage characters that are loyal one minute and cheating whores the next. Or characters who are sensitive and discerning, and then turn out to be clueless and dense when getting fucked over. Lizzy was way way too cold and heartless to ever have been lovable or loving. You have to really be deaf and blind to miss such character flaws in a spouse. Yeah, deaf and blind people get married every day. Then divorced a few years later. In which case, stupid people get what they deserve.

But it was a fun read and I thank you for your time and talent.

I can see much better where your critique lies. And while I was okay with the way the dialogue was presented, I can also see your point and why it did not work for you.

Definitely in the higher class of stories available in LW, nice to see you back. 5 stars.

I'm not sure whether I liked the story more for the innovative plot devices, or because I live in Houston and vividly recall the ferocity of the actual land impacting hurricane Ike mentioned in the story. It adds authenticity when you've seen first hand the devastation & chaos the big ones leave in their wake.

As to dialog, perhaps it is a character flaw of mine but I entirely believe that an emotional woman under high stress could be totally disrespectful in one breath and begging favors in the next. I've been there and seen that, and I don't want the t-shirt.

Finaly for myself I liked the epilogue, and I'm certain that you would have received complaints if it was absent. To get the reader to do the heavy lifting for story closure is exceedingly difficult to accomplish unless your initials are JPB.

FD and TheUnoriginalist - I can see that. I've seen women turn on a dime though, but I can see where you're coming from... I think more than anything it's to go from the "sneer" to the "whisper". That seems more of a major shift than to have the sneer drop and it come over her to begging... a whisper is a bit too subtle for the shift.

For those who didn't get the ending - when they didn't show after the hurricane he thought they may have died in a gas explosion because he smelt gas, and assumed if they'd made it out they'd make it to her parents place without issue.

They didn't show up, he assumed that was how they died. May have brought more guilt on him during the funeral because it was something he could have warned them of. Yes, when he knew there was storms they should have all gotten out of Dodge ASAP, but when he left he thought they'd get out same as him.

Now, their bodies were recovered and they were near the Nissan... so why the Nissan and not Jay's wife's car? Why were they still naked? Why were they "near the neighbourhood"? Did they all wash over there? But they were only a few hundred yards from the car.

Did they wash away... did they make it away from the house at all, did the Miata run out of fuel... why were they outside the car?

There was, I guess some "did he do something to them" but I think it's pretty clear that unless he was an unreliable narrator - which I think would have needed to be telegraphed better, that he didn't. We'd need to see their side to find out the why's of all that.

I agree the start was a little long, but it wasn't a collective story - it was Carey's story.

Welcome back. Five stars.

that was fun to read and relatable to anyone in hurricane country.

I also could relate to the dogs portion of the story as years ago my two dogs chased/trapped my sister in law into our bathroom, where she stayed for several hours until I my brother came home that evening. A favorite retelling every family gathering.

easy 5*

You're a pretty good writer. Dialogue, descriptions all spot on. That's what I base my rating on anyway. On content, I'm not a fan of violent consequences for cheaters. It's not a case here per se although I get a feeling the end result was exactly what he was hoping for [gas explosion]. But each to their own obviously. :)

Story went crazy about page 5. Really, Liz arguing with carey about adultry being no bid deal? Also, Jay had balls. No way he would not have jumped from a second story window to keep from being caught.

Interestingly, many communities northeast od H had no electricity or clean water for a month or two after the hurricane, yet didnt recieve emergency aid or complain about their suffering as the blacks did after Catrina, and worked to ensure their own survival.

You hit the nail right on the head son.

Cuck lovers should stay away from the better writers, less stress for them.

Since they can't defend their preferences, attack is the only revenue for them.

Saxon_Hart congratulation on a well written tale. Not for everyone, but then the score will tell the tale. It's obvious from the comments and the score your story was well received. That's all the thanks a writer needs. 5*

Good one. Liked it. Like always, well written and interesting theme. 5 stars from me.

great story loved how it showed that a guy can change how he does things by what happens in his life and he can over come the trials of life.

Keep it up man. I hope you write more.

Great story, keep writing and make us happy..

I know it is a must read when I see the author. Delivered a good story as usual. Always something a little different in a Sacon_Hart story. Good story, good characters, good reading can't ask for more for the price which is just my time. Thank you for sharing. Please keep writing and I WILL keep reading.

I'm sure glad you are still writing. Thanks!

Maybe I'm missing something... I understand the dogs not letting Jay out of the guest room, but they knew Lizzy lived there. Why wouldn't they let her out? Why couldn't she come and go, get food, get clothes for them, etc?

I know that dogs can be smart, but I doubt they are smart enough to understand the concept of adultery.

Killed in a hurricane, or were they.

Hinted at doubling back. Hmm.

about a cheating wife. He cut off her clit and he pulled out her vagina and cut it off. Then called 911 so she wouldn't bleed to death. He cut off her lovers dick and balls and called 911. No one knew who did it...

but bad title. It telegraphed the plot.

a really nicely done story, i felt a bit bored initially, but that was just my impatience.

my suggestions for titles:KATE BRINGS A CHANGE:a hurricane shines light on hidden activities./ New Beginnings come after hurricane passes thru. Thats my take you decide.

Its surprising what this story has done, both camps have agreed with the story, the BTB & RACC. well she is dead & not by his fault so by(ERGO) default RACC is out of the question. & Her death by(VIS-a-VIS) drowning in the flood allegedly satiates the BTB hunger too. Thats a rare blend to story. congratulations you achieved to appease the unappeaseable .

Somebody made a comment about dogs not understanding adultery or why lizzy could not move about freely. Firstly a single dog understands a very large & complex amount of human behavior, 4 dogs dont understand more but will not back down from their intuition of wrong doing.

If you have a dog who waits for your permission to eat after you have served the dog, you will understand how difficult that is to achieve, a beast basically surrenders it baser urges to wait for your permission. that shows a lot.

Imagine the dogs were free by accident the day jay came, usually Lizzy would have the dogs fed & cordoned of in another room or tied up, for some reason she failed to do it( may be the dogs were playing outside & she thought it would be okay), Then the dogs approach some strange noises similar to when their alpha is present(Carey).

They dont detect his scent, they find anothers scent, they investigate. Jay & lizzy find the dogs staring at them & get scared, this confuses the dogs, why is lizzy scared?. the dogs decide she is wrong & there is a stranger. they have only one goal now, defend your domicile till your Alpha returns. & thats what they exactly did. why was that hard to fathom?

this story is perfect according to me,its not just a story of a fair weather friends, or just getting cheated on & revenge, its a story about the good & the bad & the ugly things & events that pass thru Carey & how he finds peace. just needs a better title.

sorry to post as anon.

with a decent resolution. I do like your writing style and it doesn't hurt when the story takes place in Texas, can't beat that. I agree with DFW Beast about your story telling and Randi said it best. You are a notch above most of the rest of the writers, simply because you tell a story and don't denigrate the men. And a compliment on your writing from Randi has to feel good, that young lady is a master crafter when it comes to writing. No cucks in any of the people I mentioned in this comment and I do appreciate that. I am not a writer, don't claim to be and won't ever try it, but I do know what I like to read and what makes a good story. So, thanks for this one.

pappy

I'm glad that the main character wasn't written like you usually write them.

[A GUTLESS RETARD]

Good story, well written and factually correctly as concerns the hurricanes. My wife and I went through hurricanes Alicia in 1972 and Ike in 2008 in Houston when the Bolivar Peninsula was swept clean from Galveston Bay to High Island. We then moved back to Southern California where we had lived since 1986 where we only had to put up with a few minor quakes and no hurricanes. Good story keep on entertaining us !!!

I give the story a '4' on the Budweiser Scale

Very good writing. 5 *'s

Another story with the dumbass husband whose best friend is a piece of shit. He is always so shocked that his best friend who likes to chase married women would be fucking his wife. He always knew what a asshole he was . If your stupid enough to be friends with this asshole you get what you deserve.

Great story. 5*

It doesn't appreciate good writing and seems to have a taste for cum. Crawl back in your sewer drain anony and leave the commenting to the literate.

Whit I don't understand these "virtuous" guys who are best friends with douche bags. This guy had no problem with his bud fucking other men's wives but he was shocked when the douche bag fucked him over.

And fuck javmor79 and the other raac assholes.

5* for some truly interesting entertainment.

I don't find your cheating wives to be that deep or interesting but the rest of your storytelling art is really fun and attention grabbing.

Good story ... I think reading 'death by tropical storm' is a first, for me anyway.

Thanks for an enjoyable read.

At one time I had four dogs. Spoiled them terribly. They were much more loving than second wife. Storms are scary stuff. Lived through a bad one when I was five. Death by storm is very good.

Nice twists to a basic story. Nicely done!

JimC

It didn't sound like Barry had to do much seducing, nor that she had gone through any major character change. Both Barry and Lizzy were cheating selfish assholes their whole lives. How do you not spot the evil and negative vibes from people that dirty, unethical, and unprincipled? The poor bastard let the beautiful surface finish distract him from the underlying rot and cheap construction. Happens to short-sighted people all the time. Most marriages don't fail because people change. Most marriages fail because they never should have happened, and one or both of the spouses just can't fake it anymore. Who cares if they died in the hurricane, were murdered by Brandi, or ended up fucking up each others lives forever.

An interesting read. Way too detailed in many areas, but a good effort. Thank you.

I always thought 9-11 would have been a great setting for a disappearance story.

A guy is walking to work in the twin towers when an airplane hits.

He suddenly realizes this is his chance to disappear with his mistress, or the money he embezzled and stashed overseas, or to get away from the bookie he owes , or ...

Anyway, I enjoyed the read.

Thanks.

For not taking this down the dark road at the end. The cheaters got everything they deserved, but our protagonist can live at peace with himself.

On a happier note, isn't it amazing how little sisters eventually grow up! When you were 18, how much of an impression did your buddy's pain-in-the-tail 10 or 12 year old sister make on you? Yep, that's what I thought. Fast forward to you at 35 and little sis is in her late 20s: now what do you think? Yep, that's what I thought! ;-)

Here's wishing Carey & Renee and their passel of dogs and kids a happy and joyful life!

Some cracks in the storyline:

Why did Jim and Litzy take the Small Nissan to escape when his Lexus was in the driveway?

Why were they found nude? Surely they would put on clothes before going out into a hurricane.

Police work after a disaster may be sloppy but even the simplest questions asked when Carey reports his wife missing will lead to a lot of suspicion. He was the last to see her alive. He rescued the dogs but left his wife behind. She was found nude with a nude male corpse. Signs of Jim’s beating might still be evident e.g. a freshly broken nose.

What was Jim’s body doing there when he was supposed to be be in Houston?

Did he coordinate his story with Jim’s wife, Brandi before is filed a missing person report? She was aware that her husband was being held against his will and had been beaten.

Sloppy writing. Would have been a 5 but the logic of the ending is missing.

Very well done. Thank you

Your description of Hurricanes Ike and Kate were so accurate. I survived Ike but my house did not. I survived Kate also. I waded through five inches of water inside my home. My car was of no use and I waded through water, knee-deep for over a mile to get out. I saw a group of children in a second story bedroom near my flooded home and wondered if they got out safely. The area will never be like it once was. The deaths were devastating, but it is the number of still missing that baffles me. This was excellently written. Five stars.

SU-BLOODY-PERB,NUF SAID,JUST5*****.

5 stars for Carey not being a cockold. The old "it just happened" is trite. It would be better if an author actually spelled out -HOW- "it happened". Details. How and why did she succum to Jay's advances first and continuously. We never heard anything about her unhapiness. Lizzy really needed more characterization. Other than these things, I enjoyed the writing and hope you continue to add to Lit--surely the pay is good!!

Loved it! 5-Stars!!!! This was a new way of discovery even though I suspected that they must be having an affair especially when you wrote that Jay always had a smirk on his face when he sent Carey away! He was too trusting of his friend and the wife who he thought the world of! Well done and THANKS FOR SHARING!!!!

I love seeing cheaters get exactly what they deserve. Lizzie and Jay were real slick asholes,but Kate took care of them for good. The dogs helped too. Really good story.

Better than most BTB

Well written and not consumed with the revenge.

The Renee angle at the end was stupid, with no suggestion of history.

But, otherwise a decent BTB

Not my type of story though, mostly because I do not believe people are that calculating in their cheating or their reactions to cheating. If they were, then I would be really depressed about the state of human kind

I wish Sbrooks103x was here to deal with this so I wouldn't have to waste so much time explaining things!

You want to talk about "sloppy writing"? Did we read the same story?

"Why did Jim and Litzy take the Small Nissan to escape when his Lexus was in the driveway?" Who the fuck is Jim? Oh, stupid me, you really meant Jay didn't you? It's Lizzy, not Litzy. Nissan also makes vehicles other than "Small". Maybe they were panicked and couldn't find the keys to the Lexus, remember his clothes were tossed into the fire place hers were probably somewhere close like the kitchen counter or table.

"Why were they found nude? Surely they would put on clothes before going out into a hurricane." See above. Then again perhaps what ever little bit they threw on was ripped off of them by the wind. Or how about this; "I noticed Lizzy's bathrobe lying in the middle of the foyer."

"Police work after a disaster may be sloppy but even the simplest questions asked when Carey reports his wife missing will lead to a lot of suspicion. He was the last to see her alive." Just who is going to report that he was the last to see her alive? Brandi, Jay, his neighbor Bob who hadn't seen her in days, maybe the cop that stopped him blocks from his house when he returned or maybe one of the dogs? I don't think so.

"He rescued the dogs but left his wife behind." See above. Who would you save, the cheating slut, his 'best friend' she was cheating in his home with or four loyal dogs? Don't over think this one.

"She was found nude with a nude male corpse. Signs of Jim’s beating might still be evident e.g. a freshly broken nose." Again, Jim? How about this for an answer; "You know Tom," said Lewis. "This would have one hell of a time to get away with murder. Strangle someone one or bash their skull and leave them in the flood zone. We'd never know they died suspiciously." There is also the fact the bodies laid there for 4 weeks, exposed to the elements in Houston after a hurricane. Do you have any idea how humid Houston gets even without a hurricane?

"What was Jim’s body doing there when he was supposed to be be in Houston?

Did he coordinate his story with Jim’s wife, Brandi before is filed a missing person report? She was aware that her husband was being held against his will and had been beaten." What? Who the fuck is this Jim again? Jay maybe? Do you really think Brandi is going to dime Carey out? The only ones who might care would be either the slut's or the bastard's families. How much embarrassment do you think they would want to expose themselves to by questioning this too much?

S_H, except for all of the "sloppy writing" that Loejtc brought up I thought it was a damned fine story. I wouldn't have expected any different from a Texan and I thought feeding them Alpo was a really, really nice touch. Signed: BTW

So was renee another cheating whore?

At the party she went to to 'nab' him she told him she already had a guy, a guy who two days later people refereed to as her long term boyfriend, they psychologist

Open and slut case is gold.

Seems that the cheaters got even more unlikable towards the end, almost as if to make their fate more deserved.

Death was too good for the cheaters!

Really loved the dog angle!

Well done.

5

It always confuses me when the main character describes their soulmate and how in love they are only to have them go from Jeckyll to Hyde with no transition in between. The "Martian Slut Ray" indeed.

Unless they've had a head injury or are suffering some mental break, I can't see how they can go from 'everything is GREAT' to devastation without some warning or indication that something is wrong in the meantime. *MOST* people just aren't built that way.

So, we go from appreciating how the main characters met and developed to...whatever this was in the end. Seems like we missed an important chapter there along the way.

Until the ending, the story was engaging, a good read and developed the primary characters pretty well.

Sad and tragic ... but still, a fitting end for the two cheaters! There's no replacing a faithful dog.

But im so over the cheating. I dont understand the need authors have to turn the loving wives into evil whores. I mean Liz character was great and they were in love and then all of sudden shes a cheating, immature whore, really?

What is that BS about the male and to man up? Rarely I read a mention of what would happen if the roles were reversed? This was an exception, at least partly

Great story with some closure after finding Lizzy’s body. I don’t ever waste any sympathy when cheaters meet a fitting end. Good to see a happy ending for the betrayed husband.

Good story. Well done.