All Comments on 'Better Ch. 03'

HEA

Thank you

Love the way you tied everything up. Gotta love a happy ending

But, rushed ending. A little disjointed. I thought the sharing with another couple not consistent with the relationship you established. Kendra seems a slightly creepy. I thought maybe she was trying to learn how to control Audrey for her own ends - like getting control of Audrey's fortune. You set up an interesting journey of healing and understanding in Chapter 2 that you didn't deliver on. Instead, you made the therapist out as a villain. I think she was right - and it would have been very interesting to see the journey of healing for Audrey that would have allowed her to submit from strength of mind, and with full intention. If anything ever happened to Alex, Audrey would potentially be incapable of looking after herself. Alex's instincts for Audrey to heal were good ones. Too bad you let that go.

I would have like a fuller exploration of the research that "broke" Audrey. Frankly, overall I think the narrative was a little lazy, story-telling-wise. You have a good outline of a story, but it isn't fully fleshed out. There are a lot of ideas here, tangents - events that could take up whole chapters and an entire book. That's okay. This may be all you want to do. I still rate it highly, and wish you well.

This final chapter was disappointing given the promising start, especially in part 1. Rushed and disjointed were the exact words I thought of when I completed the series. Nevertheless, I believe that you have a sophisticated imagination and strong writing skills. I look forward to more contributions from you. Thank you for the gift of your skill, time and creativity.

The ending was rushed.

The scene with Kendra and her Master thrown in.

All in all, a let down after the great start.

i still very much enjoyed this story even though I agree this chapter was more rushed than the other two. i would have loved a chapter 2.5 to have developed the relationship with Kendra as well as Alex working on digging up the old files which would have set this one up better.

also i take some issue with the portrayal of Dr. Jacobi as evil - i get why Audrey may feel like that, but from my perspective as a reader the shrink is simply trying to help best as she can - in a situation where her expertise fails to provide adequate solutions (it's sometimes hard for professionals to recognize or admit - even to themselves - their own limits).

but all in all - still a unique, compelling, well-told story - with a happy ending!

thank you very much for sharing your talent :)

I'm a sucker for a happy ending....but this chapter was rushed. Still an interesting and provocative subject, however. 5*

one hopes you do return to Audrey & Alex

so much intensity & anguish in this story series

i think not only do the protagonists deserve another chapter to soothe thier souls ,

but that it would also be good for the reader as well ,

wrung out & emotionaly drained from reading this tale ..

a most remarkable & well written ,

interesting & intriguing ,

engaging & enthralling story.

sublime

exquisite

ethereal

xxxhugsxxx

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TWS, I agree with all the previous commentators. About the quality of your writing and imagineering of this series.

However, as a writer myself, I have to sympathize with your attempt to wrap up this storyline with a Romantic ending. In my opinion it just doesn't measure up to the rest of your story.

I understand from bitter experience, how difficult it is to create a strong ending for a story.

Most of the stories I have posted, I started with a title and I already had the ending laid out. It was just a matter of getting from point A to point Z and write the story that would conclude in my chosen ending.

I have a huge pile of unfinished stories for which I have failed to come up with a reasonable (to me) ending. Very frustrating!

If you have the inspiration, I think that you should write a second volume. To cover Alex's discovery of how he was framed and the fallout from public exposure of the coverup.

How would your character Alex handle the three types of normal public responses to his revelations?

First, that he was wronged by a conspiracy and maybe could seek restitution of some sort from those involved, the members of the Review Board involved in the coverup and the University as a whole.

Second, the continuing opinion of people who will stubbornly insist on believing that he is guilty by association with the experiment. That his taking command of Audrey's life is proof of his evil nature.

Third, the all too common public perception that Alex and Audrey must be guilty of something just because of their notoriety.

In addition, the marriage proposal. How does someone with Audrey's condition give 'informed consent'?

In the real world, avaricious lawyers would be all over collecting fat fees from Audrey's estate, to "protect" her from Alex. They would find a judge, who would probably institutionalize Audrey "for her own protection", of course.

And the judge would appoint a conservator, undoubtedly a 'fraternal' buddy, to help spend her money. With contributions to the Judges reelection campaign.

I think it would be interesting to see what you would make of your characters and how they would deal with these situations.

This story was super intense, a real page-turner. I really liked it, and was surprised and elated to find the happy ending. Normally, I find super-intense stories like this one tend to have a downer ending, but no. This one made me smile, and my day is significant improved having read it. (And that is not something I can say about everything I have read on the internet.) Well done, sir or madam, well done indeed. Thank you.

This entire series was phenomenal! There could not have been a more perfect ending to this story. Brava!! Brava!!!

Alex' contrived absolution and the ending was just too abrupt, it felt more like a cop-out. I also didn't enjoy them inviting another master into their home.

This story was incredible. The depth of the characters was impressive. Keep up the good work, please.

Amazing story, I had to read it all in one sitting! Loved the happy ending too. It would be great if you could revisit and continue Audrey and Alex's tale!

I have read this before. Every time is the rollercoaster. the stress and love and worry and joy of it all. Amazingly written, and actuslly makes me feel things. 5 stars. I hope that someday you do write more about them. But id you don't, I can rest knowing they live happily.

The story and characters were phenomenal. You really tied this altogether at the end and came full circle. This was a great story!

So pleased they found each other.