Better off Dead

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Tori, you've had more than a couple of glasses of wine and you're all heated up," he said. "This is a big step. Maybe you should think about it first."

I was really kind of hurt so I spoke without thinking. "Are you sure you want to pass this up?" I asked. "I probably won't offer it again." He just looked at me. I got up and walked over to the big door as if I was showing him out. He got up and followed me to it.

"Good night, Tori," he said sadly.

After he left, I jumped on my bed and cried. Later that night, I thought about it and I felt awful. Worse than anything, I realized how stupid I'd been. Adam had given more thought to my own feelings than I had. I'd actually been kind of tipsy and kind of horny although I really didn't consider myself to be a very sexual person.

I think I'd been kind of insulted that he didn't want to just jump on me and fuck me. But he'd been more concerned with how I'd feel about it and him afterwards. I think that was the moment that I understood what love really meant and that Adam loved me. My own husband treated me like a combination sex toy and slave. Zeke only wanted his beer and his dick wet, but Adam actually cared about my feelings. It was too fucked up to think about.

I woke up the next morning with a hangover and felt even worse. Tela brought my breakfast and looked at me like I was shit on a stick.

* * * * * *

Adam

I couldn't believe that I'd blown it with Victoria. It had taken me months to get to the point where we were comfortable with each other. The kisses from the night before had told me that we were making progress and we were doing it steadily. I'd begun to believe that regardless of the situation that brought us together, we'd become a real couple.

As I slammed my way through the gears, my Mustang growled and grunted. It's brutish power making short work of the drive to work. I buried myself in work that day trying not to think about the mess I'd made of the previous evening.

For the first time since she'd been with me, Victoria had actually asked me to leave her room. All I could do is hope that someday she'd understand what had really happened and my reasons. I wasn't rejecting her. I just wanted her fully aware of what was going on.

Perhaps I should have told her about Julie. Maybe if she understood what had happened between us, she'd see why I had to be so careful. My heart was barely stitched back together. I wasn't sure it could handle being broken again.

Victoria was a very divisive presence in my life. I'd surrounded myself both at work and at home with a very loyal group of former military people, most of whom I'd personally served with. Some of them, especially Tela, thought that Victoria simply wasn't worth the risk.

Tela had volunteered to put a bullet in Victoria's brain and dump her back at the seven eleven. I had no idea why Tela was so convinced that Victoria needed to go. But she'd always been overly cautious.

The problem was that I already loved Victoria, there was no going back. I loved her far more than I had ever loved Julie, my first wife. Up until last night things had been going almost too perfectly between Victoria and me. I hadn't expected perfection. Nothing worth having is free from a few bumps in the road. So I expected us to have our ups and downs. What I hadn't expected was for it to hurt so much.

And this was all something that was outside of my area of expertise. In business, we analyzed the competition with military precision. We determined their weaknesses and attacked those. We then bought the competition, partnered with them, or put them out of business. I had to admit that we could be ruthless at times but it was business.

If only romantic pursuits could be handled the same way. But I was no good with emotional attachments. If it had been up to me, I'd have already married Victoria. I'd have told her that from the first day that I saw her in her room, I'd loved her instantly. My head on the other hand, reminded me every day of how badly Julie had hurt me. So I had to be cautious. I'd decided from the beginning that I would never tell her how I felt about her until she told me.

So last night had been a setback but I could handle those. I'd give her some space for a few days and wait for her to come back.

Every day I got reports on all of the people we watched. Surprisingly, Victoria's husband had already taken up with another woman. Less than twenty four hours after Victoria disappeared, he'd moved her into his trailer. The strange thing about it was that the woman was Victoria's own sister. Even stranger was the fact that Zeke had apparently impregnated the woman.

Yet somehow everyone in the family seemed to be fine with it. There was also the apparent case that no one seemed to really be looking for Victoria. It was almost as if Zeke had just requested another sister to take over her place and gotten one. The police had interviewed Zeke and had gotten him to admit to popping her one that morning before she left to get his beer. They assumed that she'd just taken off and left him. They wanted to charge him with domestic abuse or battery, but without a person to raise the complaint they couldn't. On the other hand, they couldn't charge her with running off with the twenty dollars he'd given her to buy beer because they had no proof he'd given her the money and since she was gone there was no one to charge. They also assumed after visiting the trailer that wherever she was, she was better off. So it was easy to see why the police weren't really pursuing the case with nearly as much vigor as would normally be expected.

* * * * * *

Zeke

I craned my neck trying to see around Tammy's ass. The woman was never more than two fucking feet away from me.

"Tammy, get your fat ass from between me and the TV," I said. She smiled at me and came closer to me so I could watch the end of the race. Dale Jr. hasn't won a race yet this year so I wanted to concentrate because he was in the top five with five laps left to go.

Tammy, with her huge, fat ass and bulging belly, got down on her knees in front of me. She pulled my pants down and started sucking. After a few minutes, I really didn't care who won the race. She just sucked away and edged me ever closer to the edge and then she pulled her mouth off of me and tickled my balls. I had no control over it. I shot my spunk all over her waiting face. Some guys like their women to swallow. I loved shooting it all over her face. She just smiled there at me with lines of spunk all over her face.

Then she took a warm, wet wash cloth and wiped her face down thoroughly, before leaning up to kiss me. It was, as usual, one of the best blowjobs I'd ever had. She even knew that I wouldn't want to kiss her with all of that shit on her face.

"God damn it woman," I screamed. "You made me miss the end of the race. Now I won't even know who won."

"Jimmy Johnson was first," she said. "Kyle Busch and his brother Kurt were second and third. Kevin Harvick was forth and Jeff Gordon was fifth. Dale Jr. got passed on the last lap and faded to eleventh. He was running top five all the way to the last lap."

There was no doubt about it the bitch was amazing. She gave the best blowjobs in the universe and would do it without even being asked. There were some days when she just seemed to appear on the hour and suck my dick. If I even looked at her funny, she'd bend over and spread her legs. She really, really liked to fuck. Even while she was pregnant, we fucked every night. She let me do anything I wanted to her. If I told her to hold her shirt up and let my friends look at her titties, she did it.

Of course, there were problems with her too. First off, she's a big ole girl. She's got some tig ole bitties that I just love to squeeze and suck on. But she's also got a huge ass and big hips to go with them. Her pussy ain't exactly what you'd call tight either and after she has my kid, it's probably going to be even looser. There's also the problem that she ain't exactly a looker. But my word is law to her and I can tell just by looking at her that she loves me.

The only thing Victoria had going for her was that she was pretty. Victoria questioned everything I said to her. She had a smart assed mouth. Victoria gave the worst blowjobs in the world; that is when you could make her do it. And when I got ready to cum, she'd get up and run across the room to make sure that none of my stuff landed anywhere near her. I remember one time when she screwed her face up so badly I could tell she just didn't want to do it. She looked like she was in such pain that I just told her to stop and get the hell away from me. Strangely enough that was the only time she ever did something I wanted her to do, immediately.

Then there was the time she invented the air blow job. She held her mouth open so big that she didn't even touch my dick. She just moved her head back and forth while huffing over it.

And every time that I had sex with Victoria, it was like I had to tie her down and rape her unless she wanted something. When my check came and she wanted a shirt or some panties or some other outrageous demand, she'd have sex with me. But even then she just laid there with her fucking eyes closed. I swear to God, I sometimes thought the woman was asleep while we had sex and then woke up when it was over. That does something to a man's ego.

I also found out that the bitch had been running a game on me. After she left, running off with my fucking beer money, Tammy had moved some of Victoria's things to put her own clothes in that dresser. Tammy found Victoria's birth control pills. For all of the years that we'd been married, I'd thought that my age had caught up to me and I couldn't make babies. But Victoria had been on the fucking birth control the whole God damned time. It was like she didn't want to have my babies. It was as if she was saying that I was good enough to get her out of her parent's house, but not good enough to have kids with.

My greatest fear now, and Tammy's, was that someday Victoria would come back. And Victoria was too fucking stuck up to sleep on the couch. Even her God damned name was uppity. She only answered to Victoria. If you called her Vickie or Vic or any other nickname she just refused to answer. She wouldn't even look at you. It had to be Victoria. How the fuck could a woman grow up in a trailer park and have a stick that far up her ass? How could two sisters be so different? The only thing up Tammy's ass was my dick. She's already told me that as soon as we had this first baby, we're going to make another one. I wasn't sure if she just liked kids or if she just liked to fuck. But I wasn't looking forward to Victoria coming back. I was sure she would someday just to spite me, but it wasn't something I wanted to have happen.

* * * * * *

Victoria

After her outburst, I knew that I couldn't talk to Tela. In fact, there was no one I could talk to about the events of the past evening. When I thought about it, I realized that this was just one more reason why I needed to get the fuck out of this place. I knew that my family had to be going crazy by then and I doubted my own mental faculties. I believed that I had Stockholm syndrome.

Stockholm Syndrome happens when a person who's been kidnapped begins to empathize with her captors. Victims who are abused begin to believe that they deserve the abuse. They also begin to believe in causes that their captors support.

In my case I'd actually begun to believe that what Adam was doing to me wasn't that bad. The worst part was that I was beginning to fall for him. I'd actually been ready to cheat on my husband for a man who'd had me snatched off the street and wouldn't allow me to return to my family. I was fighting an internal debate about whether or not I should even try to escape.

The worst part of all though, was that every time I remembered looking into his eyes when he'd pushed me away. I could tell that it was really hard for him. I got the idea that he'd wanted sex with me as much as I'd been willing to do it with him. But something was more important to him than having sex with me. And the thought of it scared the shit out of me. I got the idea that Adam really loved me. Not the way my husband did. I'm talking about that, in the movies, dying for me if he had to, staying with me forever love.

Then there was the fact that sex with Zeke was like my Grandmother always described it. It was just something a woman did for her husband. "Ya just close your eyes and take it until it's over," she'd told me. "The first time it hurts like hell, but after that it's just unpleasant."

And she'd been right. Maybe it was the combination of the fact that my body had gotten used to having sex and I hadn't since I'd been here and the fact that I was slightly drunk, but I'd wanted to have sex with Adam. I couldn't figure out why I'd been ready to do something with a man who held me prisoner that I hated doing with my own husband and only did if I got something in return.

It took me a couple of more hours of thought to remember my plan for escape. My goal had been to lure them into trusting me and then when they let their guard down to escape. Last night would have been the perfect time for me to advance my plan. Like Mata Hari or Charlie's Angels, I could have advanced my plan by letting Adam fuck me. If he was anything like Zeke, he'd have rolled over and went to sleep after he fucked me. After a few times of that, I could have just snuck out of the house while everyone slept. Of course I'd have to have a way to disable the doors connected to my implant. I also thought that the remotes they carried were like the car door fobs. If I could get a certain distance away from them, they wouldn't be able to hurt me.

So I spent the rest of the day making myself beautiful for Adam. I knew almost down to the second when he'd be home and sure enough within five minutes of when I expected him, I heard the rumble of his Mustang's engine. I arranged myself casually on the sofa of my room waiting for him.

I really did have to admit that the way his face lit up every time he saw me did wonders for my ego. I sat there posed for a while waiting for him to come in, but he didn't. After a while, I turned on the TV and watched an episode of Big Bang Theory on demand. He still didn't show up. I remembered that there had been a couple of times when Adam brought people or work home and had to deal with it before he came to see me. But usually, he'd call me on the intercom and let me know what was going on.

I got on the intercom myself. I spoke to Tela. She told me that Adam was definitely home, but didn't say another word. She asked if I wanted dinner and I told her I did. The cook had made one of my favorite meals and when Tela brought mine to me, I asked her if Adam would be joining me for dinner. We always had dinner together.

She shocked me when she told me that he'd already eaten. I really couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. By that time, I was allowed the run of the house and even the grounds within reason. If I got too close to the gates I'd feel a warning buzz. There were days when I felt like a dog that lived in a yard with one of those invisible fences.

I went to Adam's room and noticed that the TV was on. He was lying on his bed, watching one of our shows without me. I peered around the corner and stared at him. He was obviously sad for some reason. He wasn't all lit up. It made me feel sad too. I went back to my room and asked Tela to come to see me.

"What?" she said when she got there.

"Why is Adam sad?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Tela, I don't need your fucking attitude," I said loudly. She just turned and looked at me. "I already know that you have feelings for him," I continued. "And the best way for you to handle this really shitty situation is for you to do your God damned job and take care of me. Now why is he sad?"

"Because, he really loves this really stupid bitch, who is really not any good for him," she said acidly. "And that same stupid bitch threw him out of her room last night," she continued. "So, all day long he's been moping around like his fucking dog died."

"I'm really sorry," I said. "I had no idea. No one has ever gotten upset over me, ever. I just..."

I was at a loss for words.

"Victoria, you aren't in a situation to see him at his best," she says. "He really is the kindest, nicest guy I've ever met. But he's just all twisted up inside. I really shouldn't tell you this..." She sat down next to me on the edge of my bed. She pulled her remote out and pressed a button. The big door closed solidly, leaving us alone.

"You know that a lot of us served in the army together right?" she asked. I nodded my head. "Adam was our CO. We all depended on each other and we never left anyone behind no matter what the situation. We'd all come from different backgrounds and situations but once we got together we were a team no matter what."

"Anyway, we all had our reasons that we needed to stay alive and get out of that hell in one piece. Adam's was Julie. She was his sweetheart for most of his life. They'd just gotten married a couple of days before he had to report. He had to leave during their honeymoon. The two of them had waited until after they were married to have sex, which is really stupid in this day and age, but they did." I nodded.

"I didn't have sex until after I married Zeke either," I said. "All of my sisters were fucking anything that walked but I just didn't see the rush. After being married to Zeke for almost five years and having sex with him, I still don't see it."

"Anyway," she continued. "We were out of the country for eighteen months and when we got back we all went back to our lives. Julie was living in the house that Adam had grown up in. His dad had passed while Adam was away. He had been allowed to go home for the funeral but that had been the only time Adam had been home during the eighteen month deployment."

"He must have been really happy to see her," I said.

"Not exactly," said Tela. "She was five months pregnant. Adam was shattered. It destroyed his trust in everything. He had to go through hell to get her out of his life. At first, she tried to run that whole, "I was lonely," bullshit on him. He hired a group of PI's who went around all over the place and found out what had actually happened. Julie had gone out with a few of her girlfriends and gotten really drunk and fucked some guy. She didn't even know who the guy was. They spoke to one of her girlfriends who admitted that it had happened. She even claimed that Julie had cried about betraying Adam for weeks and about how bad the sex had been. But over the next few months, she apparently decided that some sex was far better than no sex at all so she started hitting the bars. She was stupid enough to think that Adam would never find out."

"After a while, some of her friends refused to go out with her because she'd become such a whore that it was embarrassing to be seen with her. And a lot of people in town turned their backs on her because Adam was out there fighting to defend our country while his wife was back here spreading her legs for any cowboy with a swinging dick. The worst part about it was that Adam didn't have to go. He was the only offspring of his parents. He could have gotten some sort of stateside duty. His dad owned a business, he had enough connections to get Adam at least a non-combat unit. But Adam didn't want any special treatment."

"Adam loved her a lot, so when she tried to convince him that the baby was his somehow, he tried to believe her. He'd even started going to the doctors' appointments with her. But one day the two of them ran into one of Julie's lovers. The guy never assumed they were together. In his defense, Julie had never even told most of those guys that she was married. So he just walked up to her and squeezed one of her tits. He told her he'd drop by that evening and she'd better be ready. Adam knocked him out cold on the spot. When the guy woke up a few minutes later with an enraged Adam sitting on his chest he told the whole story. That was when Julie hit Adam with her, "I was lonely story," and Adam hired the PI's to get the real skinny."