Between the Bars Pt. 07

"As long as you don't try to do too much and hurt it again," I just have to say. He rolls his eyes at me; it's been a constant battle to keep him from pushing things. I understand his need for independence and his impatience with relying on other people, but damn, is he stubborn.

"Did you tell them about your new book deal yet, Ry?" Daniel deftly changes the subject.

"Oh, you have a new contract? That's great, sweetie," my grandma says. Everyone nods but I've published over thirty novels, so it's not earth-shaking news.

"Yeah, but this one's different." I grin at Daniel. "I've always wanted to write a sci-fi novel but I never felt like I had the ability. Daniel convinced me to give it a try, and I ran it by my agent who pitched it to a couple of publishing houses... one of them picked it up, complete with an advance and they optioned a trilogy, all published under my own name. I've got to do press and everything." I shudder exaggeratedly. My family is a little more impressed this time and they all add their congratulations, but they don't realize what a big deal this is. Only Daniel and I do. He smiles at me. Time to tell them the rest.

"That's not all. Um, I've been waiting to tell you all this until it was definite, but I'm going back to the University of Illinois next semester and finishing up my doctorate. This novel is also my dissertation. I've already had it approved, and part of this trip is going before the committee for an official presentation. I figure after all the interviews I've done and testifying in front of a federal grand jury, the doctoral committee should be no big deal."

"Wait, does this mean that you're moving home?" Charlotte demands.

"Well, sort of. I'm selling my house in Atlanta, and I'll probably be spending a lot of time in Florida with Daniel, but the rest of the time I'll be here and just drive to Champaign when I need to be on campus." I nod.

My family is happy, I knew they would be, and it makes me feel good that they want me to be closer. Even though my grandparents live in Sarasota, this is still home to them; they've never liked me being in Atlanta, even though it is closer to them. They want us all together. This whole adventure with Daniel has made me realize how important family is. I'll be further from him, yes, but I keep telling myself it won't be permanent and we'll spend as much time with each other as we can until we can be together full-time. We've already gotten everything decided.

"Eventually, Daniel will be going back to work when his arm gets better, but I'll still have the flexibility to travel about twice a month to see him, until I get the dissertation finished and then figure out what we're going to do from there."

"Actually, uh." Daniel suddenly puts down his fork and looks over at me. The slightly tense note in his voice makes me stiffen.

"What?"

He grins at me, but he looks nervous. My heart starts to thump.

"Actually, I quit the force."

For a moment, I don't know what to say. We never talked about this. Everyone else stops eating to watch the scene. "You what?"

"Yeah. I'm still on medical leave, but when it runs out, I'm going to take disability. You know what the doctors say. My arm may never heal completely. There's no way to know right now, but even if it does, if I returned to active duty, it might seem okay and then fail me at a crucial moment, like a gun that jams. That would make me a liability and I can't take that chance with my life or my fellow officer's lives."

I should be happy, ecstatic even. I've wished so hard he wouldn't return to police work that I'm afraid to believe it. "But what about Internal Affairs?"

He shakes his head. "With all the publicity from this case, my cover has been completely blown; even with the gag orders, my face has been in the media too much. I'll never work undercover again, and Ry, you know I'm not cut out for a desk job. There's no way I could do that until I retire. This way, I get a disability check but I can still do something useful. Besides, even if I could return to active duty, I wouldn't. I don't want you to ever feel like I did when Ray was killed."

I still can't form a complete thought and I sit there speechless while my grandparents and Paul and Charlotte start to grin as they realize what Daniel is doing. I stammer, bewildered. "But... but what...?"

Now Daniel is smiling and so is everyone else and they're all staring at me, waiting for it to sink in.

"I took a job with the Illinois State Police academy in Springfield. I'm going to be teaching classes on undercover vice and narcotics operations."

"Springfield?" It sinks in now, all at once. That's less than an hour away from here. "You're..."

"Yes, I am." He nods and I feel the realization start to dawn over me. He's moving here to be with me. No long separations, no flying back and forth to Florida twice a month. Daniel wants to be where I am. Still, I doubt, I question.

"But what about a house? Do you want to live closer to your job? You've never lived in the country before. We never talked about this..."

"Well, there's this little white farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere that I have my eye on, but I'm probably going to have to make a deal with the farm boy who owns it. Think he'll be interested?"

I nod. I don't want to make even more of a fool out of myself, but I just can't stop smiling. Neither can the rest of the people watching, my whole family, right in front of my grandparents he's done this and I just can't believe it. "Yeah, I think he might work something out with you. As long as this is what you really want."

Under the table, Daniel's knee touches mine and he looks straight into my eyes. "I do."

His choice of words; I've long since gotten used to the fact those words would never mean to me what they could to other people, but right now, right here, they mean everything. I swallow to get the lump out of my throat.

"I do too."

****

Chapter 36

"It was nice of your grandparents to go stay with Charlotte and Paul. Convenient, that."

"Yeah, they've never done that before. They must really like you."

"They must."

I curl up closer to his left side and nuzzle his collarbone. His left arm is wrapped around my shoulder and two glasses of bourbon on the rocks drip beads of condensation onto the coffee table in front of us. In a turkey-induced tryptophan stupor, we've been too lazy to keep putting logs on the grate so the fire has died down to a heap of glowing coals. Despite what Daniel might think, I didn't ask my grandma if she and Grandpa would let us have the house to ourselves. It was her idea. It was great but it surprised me. While she's never been anything but gracious to any of the men I'd brought home in the past, she never gave her approval either. No disapproval, just no acknowledgement. When she told me that she and Grandpa were staying with Charlotte for the rest of their visit, I protested, but she told me that she knew Daniel and I would like some time alone. I blushed; I'm sure my grandma knows I have sex, but we've never mentioned it and I like it that way. I hugged her to show my thanks.

"When do you start your new job? I should've asked you that before, but I was kind of distracted." I grin at him and he kisses the top of my head.

"We left that kind of open-ended. Can't really do anything until the grand jury and IAD finish with me."

"And what about the trial?"

"There's not going to be a trial. He's too valuable as a witness. They'll plead him down to lesser charges in exchange for naming names and giving testimony against his co-conspirators. Like I've said before, he's just a link in the chain."

"But after everything he's done? They're going to just let him hang out in federal prison for a few years? That's just..." This upsets me. Daniel doesn't seem bothered, but to me, it isn't just at all.

"It's the way the system works, Rylan."

"And you're satisfied with that? You think that's justice?"

"When you're a cop, you can't think that way. I've brought in a lot of scum over the years. I do the best work I can so they won't walk on a technicality and the prosecutors have a good case against them, and after that, I can't control what happens. Sometimes, no matter how textbook my police work is, they plead out or a jury finds them not guilty and they walk. It's unbelievable, but it happens, and when it does, I know I did my job and I have to be satisfied with that. Justice is the job of the courts."

I nod slowly. All he could do was get them there and hand them over to the courts, in the best way he knew how. "Yeah. Still..."

"That's the only closure cops get sometimes."

"But I want more for you." I feel a strange, desperate longing I've never felt before, a strong need to make everything right for him. "I want this to be over for you. I want you to know that Adkins got what he deserves."

He smiles. "You want resolution."

"Exactly. Is that so wrong?"

"No, but it's not real. That's the writer in you, wanting all the loose ends tied up in the last chapter. Doesn't always happen that way in real life." He leans over and kisses me so I know that he means it kindly. "If you weren't such a good shot, I wouldn't have even gotten that and the Feds wouldn't have any way to bring this whole thing down. So, thanks for that."

A slow blush spreads over my face. "You knew."

"Of course. Jensen let me see your taped testimony. I know what happened."

I rush to explain, to justify my dishonesty. "I just didn't want you to think I was trying to seem heroic, you know? That I wanted you to think I'm a better person than I am."

"I think you're pretty fucking great, actually. Come on." He gets to his feet and takes my hand, leading me toward the bedroom.

"You tired?"

"No. I brought something for you."

"Other than you, there's nothing I want."

He flips on the lamp and unzips his suitcase, rummaging around in an inner pocket. When I see what he pulls out, my breath catches in my throat.

Black nylon wrist restraints with a silver D-ring on each. Nothing too fancy. They close with Velcro and so does the nylon strap that runs between the D-rings to attach them. I've seen them before and automatically my heart starts to race and my throat feels thick.

"I'm surprised they let you on the plane with those." I giggle nervously when I can speak again.

"I just had to blow the security guard." He laughs at the look on my face. "I'm kidding. Just flashed my badge and convinced airport security they were for official purposes."

"I guess that means you have to arrest me."

"Too bad for you."

The verbal play covers the fact that I'm nervous. Daniel knows it and he doesn't put the restraints on me, he just tosses them on the bed. I wore them once when I was visiting him in Tallahassee. He told me there was a club he wanted to take me to, a certain kind of club I'd never been to before.

I was shaking with nervousness until he slipped the cuffs around my wrists and closed the Velcro. He left off the connector strap so to the unaware, they looked like two black wristbands. My hands were free and the cuffs weren't tight and for some reason, having them on calmed me and I actually felt a bit of a buzz when we walked into the club, in the back of an industrial building on a dark, empty street. It wasn't the kind of place you just wandered into. A few people recognized Daniel and he talked to some of the men there while I just looked around. The people he introduced me to were very nice and very respectful. Some of the other patrons were wearing collars and harnesses and studded leather cuffs and all sorts of things that made my black nylon cuffs seem sedate. Other than the attire, the only thing that made it different from any other club was the fact that I was wearing these restraints in public and everyone looked at them and knew exactly what they meant, and I wasn't embarrassed or shy about it at all. In fact, I felt a strange glow that I couldn't name.

"What'd you think?"

"It was... uh...not what I expected."

"It's not nearly that tame on weekends, and there's some back room action you didn't see, but I didn't want to scare you your very first time."

Since then I've been curious what happened in that place on nights when it wasn't so tame and at odd moments I've been finding myself thinking about the wrist cuffs and getting very hard, remembering what it was like to be there with him in a place where everyone knew and didn't think it was bad or wrong or perverted.

But because of Daniel's injury, we haven't done anything with the cuffs. He said it wasn't safe to use them when he wasn't completely able-bodied, in case something happened and he couldn't get me out of them. Apparently, he thinks he's able-bodied now and to be honest, it doesn't worry me that much.

He sits down in the middle of the bed and motions me to sit next to him. I cross my legs under me, curious. My heart is pounding and my breath is beginning to get quick and shallow, from his body near me and the wrist restraints sitting just behind him on the bed. He sees my eyes keep darting to them and he smiles.

"So I have this plan."

The raspy, sexy note in his voice makes me hard. "Plan?"

"Yes. I've come up with a plan to make you come without either one of us touching your dick. A hands-free orgasm."

"And how is that going to work, exactly?" I clear my throat. I'm so hard now, and the pit of my belly aches like a hungry beast is gnawing at it. Only he can do this to me, make me feel this way when we're both completely dressed, without even touching me, and I want him so much his words are like a lifeline that ties me to earth.

"Well," he says in this low, sexy voice that makes me shiver. His eyes are dark and intense and I want him to touch me so bad but I wait. I know it isn't time yet. "Did you get the package?"

"Yeah, it's in my suitcase upstairs."

"Did you try it out yet?"

"No... you told me not to, remember?"

"I remember, but I didn't think you'd listen." He grins briefly. "First, I'm getting you naked and slicked up with lube, so you shine for me, so wet and ready... and then I'm going to slide the plug deep inside you."

I'm shaking now and he's waiting for me to speak, but I can't and he smiles. I can see the outline of his hard cock pressing against the top of his thigh through his jeans and I know he feels like I do. The mental play is exhilarating for both of us. I've never had this with anyone else. It's a new level. Like my brain is just as excited as my body.

"Then." His voice is rough and I shake all over. My heart thumps so hard I can feel it in my dick. He looks at me, eyes gleaming, as I drop my head forward and pant. "I'm going to bind your wrists and put you on all fours with your ass in the air, and I'm going to spank you so that the plug inside you makes you feel so good. I'm going to spank you until your ass is red and burning and you come just from the feel of my hand. Can you come like that, Rylan?"

"Yes," I groan. My hand goes to my lap to touch myself, to free my cock from the tightness of my jeans. But I don't want to come, not yet. I tease the head of my cock through the cloth just enough to make that gnawing beast inside me roar with need.

"It doesn't hurt when I spank you, does it?"

"No. It feels good," I whisper. A deep, furious blush spreads over me and he watches, but he knows that I need to say this. Admitting it to myself is harder than admitting it to him, but he makes it okay for me. He makes me want to say it.

"You like it."

"Yes."

"Why do you like it?" He's gentle but relentless.

"Be-because it's you," I say so softly he can barely hear. I can't say it any louder. "Because only you can touch me that way."

"Trust," he says when I stop and can't go on. "You trust me to do that you because you know I'll take care of you."

"God, yes," I breathe with the most intense feeling of relief. I didn't understand it myself until now and I feel an enormous weight lift off my chest. I feel so light, emptied out and new. "I know I'm safe with you..."

"Always. Now go upstairs and get that toy."

I don't want to spend time rummaging through my bag. I haven't unpacked, and thank whatever gods there might be that my grandma hasn't taken it upon herself to do it for me. I don't know if she'd know what to make of a butt plug and I don't want to find out. I grab the whole suitcase and drag it downstairs. Daniel's sitting on the bed waiting for me, naked now except for his shirt; he still needs help getting his shirts off. He can handle the buttons, but he needs me to take the sling off and support his arm while he pulls the sleeve off. When I finish, he pushes me back and asks me where it is. I unzip the pocket and pull out the toy, a sleek, smooth acrylic plug about five inches long that makes me tingle when I think about what he's going to do with it. He picked it out and ordered it online and had it shipped to me, with instructions to wait.

When I'm naked, he gently wraps the bonds around my wrists. He pushes me to the bed and flips me over, pushing my hands over my head. The connector strap hooks around one of the vertical metal bars on the headboard. The cuffs are snug but not tight and they feel so good. Daniel's voice in my ear tells me to stop thinking, to let him think, and I lose myself in a warm haze. I don't have to be nervous. It's good not to think sometimes.

He pulls me to my knees and his voice is warm and soothing in my ears even though I don't know what he's saying. He smacks my ass hard and I moan. Oh god, it feels good. Sharp, poignant and stinging and I need more. More hard, stinging slaps that burn like electricity and Daniel's hands stroking the sting away. I need this. I need it. I don't know why and I don't care. I moan and he breathes a laugh as I thrust against the soft pillow under me. His voice telling me how hot I look and his hard, sharp slaps repeatedly on the curve of my ass until I can hardly bear the burning pleasure.

When he stops, I make this sound like a whimper but I can't move. The buzz has taken over my brain and I lie there panting until something cool drips on my skin and his fingers tease me and lube me just like he promised and his voice surrounds me in a cloud, telling me to spread my ass and I do. He slides the plug inside me and it fills me and stretches me and I moan, dropping to my elbows. The next hard smack to my ass almost makes me scream. The blow jolts the plug and it hits my prostate and then Daniel keeps on and on, smacking my ass again and again, praising me and saying "You're mine" over and over and I am, I want to be his, and I'm going to come so hard.

"Yeah, come for me now," he demands and the next time his hand makes contact with my flesh, I explode into an orgasm that starts deep inside me and the raw, edgy pleasure leaves me weak and shaking.

In the trembling aftershocks, while everything seems to spin, I feel him slide the plug out and I feel empty and I squirm into the sheets.

"No, don't take it away."

Daniel laughs and pulls me firmly back to my knees and his body covers mine, our skins slipping together effortlessly with sweat, and when he pushes into me, I feel so relieved and I get hard again.

"You loved that, didn't you?" he breathes in my ear. He fucks me slowly with long, deep strokes. "You love me owning you."

"Oh God yes," I say into the sheets. I never thought I could ever feel this way or give someone this kind of power over me. Not since what happened with Matt. But Daniel takes all that away. I push back against him and I let him possess me and I never have to be afraid. The bonds on my wrists are firm and he feels so good moving in me. I can give him control and know he'll never use it to hurt me. Only to make me feel good, to take all the heavy weight off me. And I'll do the same for him. I'll turn myself inside out for him.