All Comments on 'Beyond Repair'

A true joy to read. Bitches be crazy!

I HATE CHEATING WIVES.

What did Kelly expect Chris to do, just accept it and continue the marriage? So she sends Max, her big intimidating pop to quell the situation. Ha ha no can do mother fucker Even Dad couldn't solve his baby's troubles. So Chris left. My hat's off to the future ex-husband who kept his balls intact.

YEAH.

Another stupid comment by an ignoramus that thinks the comment section is their personal teaching tool. Your comments about dialogue are inane. Your advice would have everyone talking like ghetto gurus or teenaged text messages.

Shut the fuck up! The writers are doing fine without you.

I liked the story. It was well written overall. I really liked the way the story was laid out, and the way the husband absolutely deflated the pompous, overbearing father-in-law.

What was my problem with the story then? It's actually a pretty common thing with writers on this site, and it grates on my nerves no end. Let me use this excerpt from the story as an example. "I am supposed to prove to you that I'm a good guy." Sorry, but people don't talk that way. Nobody says "I am" at the start of a sentence and then use the contraction "I'm" at the end. As a matter of fact people wouldn't say "I am" at ANY point in the sentence. Yes, it's proper English, but it's just not the way real people talk. A robot or computer program might, but not a person. STOP DOING IT WRITERS!

Man! If it had been any better, I could not stand it!

ultimatums or good-byes and the truth.. TK U MLJ LV NV

***** Stars

The bad ones go on and on and on but when you like one, bet your frickin ass its over after one fuckin page.

Chris did the right thing, dump the bitch and get on with his life.

The thing that got me was the long suffering husband. He had been through the wringer with this woman and had reached his limit. He had enough foresight to see this coming and had set things up accordingly. Had he been wrong in his assumptions, then no harm, no foul. Since he had read the cards rightly, he came out of the whole thing smelling like a rose. It's not that he was cynical or abusive, or even that he was a pessimist. He was simply pragmatic. He had allowed the romance of the whole situation to get him in, but he was not about to be played for a sucker either. I think the reasonable among us would agree that he put up with quite enough, even before the cheating.

The wife is a bit over the top, I will admit. She is a caricature, sure, but most of us know some spoiled little princess that's nearly as bad. Some even have the misfortune to have walked a good distance in this man's moccasins. There, but for the grace of God, go we all.

It was also quite enjoyable to see the husband deliver this speech to a father-in-law that had tormented him to no end. This man was a poster child for insufferable jackasses and was direly in need of being taken down a peg or ten. The husband delivered quite well, and had the added bonus of dealing a final blow to the princess.

5 stars!

Spoiling their little 'Princesses' beyond repair. Are they doing them a favor ? Hardly!

and a slut to be for all time. TK U MLJ LV NV

decent story, author!

I really REALLY loved this story!! But damn that IDIOT DWmoron rated it, so I have to only give you 1*.

I'm so very sorry author, it's not your fault. I would have otherwise rated it 5*****'s. And written a decent comment agreeing totally with the actions of the main character. Perhapse I would have dumped her earlier, but I can certainly understand the sentiment.

I feel horrible about rating your story so poorly, but I HATE that fucking idiot DWmoron more.

Over done but I rated it 4 stars.

Complete - and quick !!

You said it ALL !!

Fantastic - to the point - Goodbye !!

Thank You.

Exceptionally well done, almost a haiku of a destroyed marriage.

While I disagree with some of Chagrined's comments, I found his actor suggestion very interesting (and if you're reading this -- thank you for providing me with an additional way of looking at a story). My choice for the actor to play this role would be one who could do so in a very tightly controlled manner (Daniel Craig comes to mind).

And take it as I mean it, but this read more like a bit of ranting exposition then a story.

It had some interesting points. The rich sometimes need to live different lives.

And there was an interesting philosophical point where the family loved their money more then people. But you didn't make it or so obliquely that it didn't shine through.

Thank you for the story however. I've read it more then once

You should give Matt Munroe some lessons about male characters that walk away with their junk intact

If Max had raised a woman instead of a bitch the whole story would have never happened. I would have enjoyed the story more if there had been more description of their lives, a bit more background and an apology from Max.

Thanks

I also liked the previous comment a lot, it just fits very well.

boo-fuckin'-hoo, Kelly!

I just wish there had been more to it.

There were these different tests, and he walks in finding her with someone else. The explanation was probably not needed for Max, since he knew about his precious. Max wanted them to get back together with all that happened? the words: I have had enough (her standing there) would have been good, and just walking out as he did.

Who cares what the wife's perspective is? Hell, she put him through enough crap that it wasn't fun any more so he left. He got a chance to tell it to the old man who raised such a fucked up little shit and took the opportunity. Who could blame him? No one should have to put up with that shit. So again, who cares what the wife's thoughts were? Her actions ruined any feelings he had for her and that ended it. period. end of story. The author may decide to add a second chapter to this story to present the wife's thought processes, and it'll probably be good, but this story stands alone just fine. Good job.

Someone should tell Max that this was all his fault.

The way he raised her she lost all her self esteem and

believed that the only thing important about her was Max's

money.

I have read stories where you get both sides and it makes sense. I have read stories with just the wife's side. And of course, I have read stories with the husband's point of view. In each case there were good reasons's for the author's choice of point of view. In this case the irony and humor would be blunted with her story. Or worse the reader would have to listen to a selfish, insecure, rich girl rationalize her life and justify the way she treated her husband the whole time she knew him. Her side? I think the husband was very eloquent with his explanation of what she did. In fact, this is not an issue that to be fair is to let her speak. Rather the issue is, what excuse could she possibly have for ANY of her actions in this story. I suspect if this were real life - god forbid - then he was probably down playing her actions because he knew her father was incapable of believing that she was the skank that she had become. And now Daddy gets to put up or shut up with her. Maybe he wants her back with hubby because he remembers having to prove that he was the bestest Daddy ever. No, do not ever tell her side, unless it is as deliciously ironic and satric as this story was.

the house because he was fucking her to. The woman was a slimey cum dump, nothing else needs to be said.

For those who complain about how the story is written or that it is "one sided." I could be wrong, but I believe the author has the ability and right to write the story anyway the writer sees fit. Did it not communicate the high points? Did it not tell the story in an easy to understand manner? What the fuck, was there not a beginning, a middle, and an end? Did we all wander into the twilight fucking zone of english 101 and are now complaining about the method? It's just a story guys....I can see raising an issue about how the story is flawed, how the subject is too perverted for consumption, or whatever might fit any other story, but this effort gets it done in a no nonsense way, leaves nothing unexplained. It may not appeal to some elitist fuck because of the brevity or method...it may not appeal to the sick because the husband in the story didn't proceed to suck the brothers dick while begging wifey to prong him up the arse...but it will probably appeal to the 99 percent of the rest of us who were just looking for a STORY. Thus endeth the rant....

did you write this guy was married to such a slime bucket?

He was a fool, that's for sure but then what man isn't when he loves a puta? The smartest thing he did in his relationship with her was to dump her.

it WAS one sided, but the subjective opinion was important. it was based on things he had to go through with her, and it just was cumulative and too much. would he have passed the test if he served the lovers champaigne and strawberrys?

no, the saturation point was reached, and kills the feelings/love/marriage. it was to the point, and that is how it can come out. indifference, and no tears can cure that.

Great story!! I would love to see a part 2 telling the other side of the story. Thanks for your time and effort.

In reading this story a second time there are two points which strike me as interesting but which have not been picked up by some other readers.

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First the set of events going into the marriage.

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Apparently she was testing him before the marriage with some of her old boyfriends which resulted in the husband beating up one of them and separating from Kelly for a while. Then after he takes her back and proposes... Kelly starts using some of her close friends / sorority sisters to try and entice or entrap him. The incident with LeeAnn is particularly interesting. <b> Once Max found out the day of the wedding that Lee Ann was ordered or instructed or asked by Kelly to come on to him... WHY... <u> given all that has happened up to this point</u> ... Would he or any man STILL go through with the wedding? </b>

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I kind of have to hold the husband a LITTLE bit responsible for this mess. And the emphasis should be on a little bit.

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The <b> second point I am wondering about is the mental process the wife went through and pulling the final stunt involving fucking another man in the marital bed knowing he the husband is about to come home.</b> I wonder what the conversation would be like trying to convince her brother Mike to stick around in case Max's reaction got out of control?

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You see that's THE important point. Kelly knew enough to pick up on the idea that Max might freak out when he saw her being fucked by another man in the marital bed ... given what happened with her old boyfrields before they were married. Therefore I cannot figure out how she could rationally think that her plan was a good idea since she was clearly thinking that Max might explode with rage... and its better to have Mike around.

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And second does she convince her own brother Mike that this is going to be a good plan?

I think some of the other readers seemed to have missed the point, or are so caught up in "traditional" style they were too closed minded. I enjoyed it. The character you created was just a few days from the final straw being layed down. He was pissed off and finally had a target to vent. The truth is that his anger was overshadowing everything else and so he took control and ranted. Like a built up spring of tension he released. It felt very real to me, was well written, and yes, was one sided. I thought that was the point. Well done.

As Chagrine said, there is no story here , just the ranting of a disgusted husband about his cheating wife. No build up, no wife point of view no gradual increase in dssolution of marriage. A monologue is not really a story.

60 year old George

ever thought of a second part?

Perfect and well put together. Loved it. Great Job.

I enjoyed the story and could feel the pain of the husband. Thank you for the story.

nothing wasted. delivered the point.

Why the hell didn't you write that Max stomped the shit outa the little turd that told him the he could has

This one sided recollection is too contorted to be a satisfying read . You get the point across, but a more traditional depiction of the central theme, or a more thurough conversational exchange would have helped.

I loved the story short and to the point he doesnt stand for her cheating.

Pat

Powerful dialogue. Lots of controlled anger. Great short story.

Great short story. The dialog attract my attention. I could imagine a two person stage play. Very well. Thank you.

impressive. great impact. its short but reads like its a longer story.

WOW! cold and clean. its emotionally charged, just none of the twists and turns that other stories have. no audio, vidio, and pictures to be collected. no unnecessary time acting the part of a loving husband to an untrustworthy wife. its pure adrenaline. excellent.

great job! short and to the point. love the plot and the dialogue. Kudos.

This story starts at 100 miles an hour and doesn't let go. I was amused, entertained and frankly at parts laughed my head off. It hit the spot. Thank you for the story, looking forward to a longer read.

Dad wanted to avoid a (divorce)scandal. Soon-to-be ex hubby was not going out like that! I hated "Aftermath" and while there were some errors (mello yello turning to Mt Dew and the "Mike/Stacy" incident left unexplained) but I loved it anyway. Maybe "Chagrined" didn't have his fiber that day?

You get a good job explaining that enough is enough. Even without the background of her previous tests her attitude with her lover was the kiss of death on this marriage.

Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

I really liked the way it was written and the entertainment value was exceptional. There was a real feeling of emotion given along with some humor.

Please keep them coming as it is just enough different to warrant an opposites look if you feel it.

Thank you for the great entertainment.

PT

The dialog was well done and the story was very tightly focused.

It was clear exactly what her intention was since she never had a voice, but it didn't really make any difference ... there is NO good reason and he clearly understood that.

Well done - sharp plot!

(It would be interesting to see a parallel story of her viewpoint.)

Regards, DJ

All right, the wife is a bit of a caricature, but there's one in every story ever written, and she's that way to make a point. Actually, I've met a woman like Kelly. No, she didn't test her husband in precisely this way but in the end, it was just as destructive.

Good message, and strong technique, Doc. Now, keep ‘em coming, hear? :)

I'm with the fans of this story--for the most part. I liked that it was concise and clear, and that its arc was original: beginning with the ending, then recounting what led up to it. I thought that worked very well.

For me the stumbling block (despite my enjoying the story very much) is the character of Kelly. She sounded not just spoiled and controlling but positively insane. All her selfish behavior up to the actual cuckolding seemed plausible--but setting her husband up to find her in bed with another guy, and then telling him to deal with it? That goes far beyond controlling or spoiled.

For her to think that her husband would do anything but divorce her over that indicates a true psychopathology, an inability to imagine how someone else would feel.

So for me the plausibility of the story takes a fatal hit at that point. Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading it--and look forward to more of your work.

Best, ohio

I often agree with Chagrined on the quality of stories but not this time. This story is well-told and the authorship is excellent. Here's why: the characters are nicely developed. To be sure, their development is told from the protagonist's point of view but the author goes to some lengths to convince us that he's trustworthy. Moreover, his actions within the story bear out this facet of his personality.

The protagonist is a patient man, long-suffering and slow to anger. He has his self-respect and his dignity and he prizes those. Despite the flaws he sees in Kelly, he loves her and he wants to marry her. It is perhaps a mistake but one that humans make all the time.

Kelly is the impact character in the story. She creates the conflict and the author does a fine job of filling out her character so that we understand why she does what she does. She's a spoiled rich girl who's insecure and needs to be the center of attention. She's compelled to "test" her husband and she can't understand why he's angry.

Max's character is interesting. He's portrayed as the powerful, dominating father, the successful patriarch of the clan who's accustomed to having his way. Only his usual methods don't work when the main character resolves the conflict his way. Max knows his little girl is screwed up but has no idea how to fix it. His desire to gloss over her cheating and get Chris to take her back is just another expression of how he's treated his daughter her whole life: spoiled little rich girl.

Even Mike's character, peripheral as he is to the story, is developed somewhat. We infer that he's willful and arrogant, spoiled in his own way by his father. It's good authorship when, in just the odd mention here and there, you get a sense of who a supporting character is.

Chagrined complained that this wasn't a story b/c it has no beginning, no middle and no end. I beg to differ. Though told in dialog, there is a beginning, there is a middle and there's definitely an end. If the main character sticking to his guns is banal and trite, Chagrined, then so be it.

I do have a complaint or two with the writing since I found some words misused (e.g., "tying" instead of "trying'). But those mistakes don't damage the quality too much and a good editor would catch them.

This 100's for you, DoctorWyldcard, for a story well-told. Excellent fiction this is.

Well done tale. Strip away all of the nonessentials and this is what you have - stark and bare.

Not just good, really good. Seemed like a complete story to me and Im one who usually likes more follow-through than most. I usually want to see a story go past the break-up and see the cheater sorry and the cheated upon happy again. I think the last paragraph about him not feeling anything and her holding back sobs was harsh enough. Cant get much better revenge on someone who loves you than not give a crap about them one way or the other.

I also didnt mind the way in which the story was told. It was different, easy to follow and compelling to read. It wasnt perfectly fluid (sometimes it seemed a little like he was doing a monologue in a play or something instead of talking to his father in law) but it was still good. Since the story was about the guy and how he'd had enough of their whole family, it was appropriate that nobody else was really featured. The father-in-law was little more than a lump sitting there to give him someone to talk to and we didnt see the wife at all except second-hand but it fit the story imo.

Thanks very much for writing.

well its not as bad as Chagrined asserts but its not as great as other have it.

I thought the beginning was a Bit rushed....

I think --and this JMHO-- it would of been better if several members of the wife's family or even the whore wife's soroity sisters tried to talk him over a few weeks of time... before all was revealed.

I could see where the wife goes to one of the more mature sisters/ friends pleading and crying ... so this friend tracks down the the husabnd and wife friend finds about about all this stuff... only to go back and tell the whore wife its over....

still this story as written was decently done and the emotional shock and disappointement of the guy ... who has realized he has wasted all time and energy and effort it there.

sort of like how all of us feel reading the latest JPB story

Entrapped in his anger and frustration, the writer tells a story of a man in turmoil. He is acting out how he felt that he would feel and citing the circumstance and reasons why. For those of us who have lost it sometimes it's like a jerky slide show with half words and thoughts in expression to in this case the dear old problem causer.

This is how a man once (I say once with emphasis) would normally react to a cuckolding attempt by his unloving wife.

Oh and 4 grand a year (x 3 years) isn't even close to fair compensation but it was the pre nup agreed to.

So KUDO's Author and we demand more - well we want more and not of this story. This one is done - welly (word). But another as good at interval is hoped for.

Thanks

With Very High Regard

Short, sweet (well, not really) and to the point. Pay no attention to the almighty "chagrined", he can go smoke a turd, or try to write something better if he's so fucking smart. This isn't writing 101, chagrined, and who the hell are you to tell people what they like? You're an arrogant jerk. Good story Doctor!

I really enjoyed this and found it well written.

Chagrinned. this story does have a clear beginning and ending, you just want more build up. In fact it could almost quality as two stories. Its a short picture of a man sitting in a diner thinking about his impending divorce and encountering the father of his soon to be ex-wife. He then tells the story of the courting and marriage to the daughter. it all ends with him explaining that the tale of his marriage is also the end of this tale and that he's moving on.

Well written, imaginatively plotted and nicely paced. The characters are a bit flat and we don't really get to see any emotion from anyone, but it still works.

I hope we see more stories from this author.

I guess I must be very dumb,but I just didnt get it.What is this story telling us,the reader?The author told us more about what and how the whimpie husband ate,than any real background about the wife,father,or himself.It dosnt flow,and jurks all the way thru the Thing.

this is NOT a story; it's about a man rambling non-stop for about 30 minutes or so with his to-be-ex father in law. it's NOT a story at all,,,,

no emotion, no love, no tragedy, no care, no pain, no dialogues, no nothing,,,

This story is credible - a sad story, but credible and positive in that Chris kept his self respect. I don't see anything wrong with the writing - it is, as Risq said, a snapshot (not a novel).

And it wasn't because of the "No" wimp ending as you say.

Here's why.

This was an "excerpt" of what happened in the husband's life. A guy who was sitting down to dinner and 'Stewing' over what happened up till now. But the story really began when the father in-law tries to convince the soon to be "ex-husband" that he needs to reconsider what happened and take back his wife and stop the divorce. It may be short, but the whole short story is only written as the husband explaining to the father in-law why that's not going to happen. And I have to say I got the point of the whole story with what was written here. Don't tell me you thought they should have gotten back together after all this and now you may be upset they didn't?

I saw a begining, middle, and end to the story.

A story also about a young woman that was constantly making her husband "prove" he loved her. Making him do test, after test, after test to prove that he wouldn't cheat on her, would fight for her, and lastly (with the guy in their bed) that he really loved her after 3 years still and wasn't in it for the money. In the story it was commented that he tried all the romantic things other guys did for her, but that wasn't enough. She wanted him to prove it physically on her command when she felt low.

So I totally saw this.

DoctorWyldcard I have to say this, I didn't like the story "Aftermath" like I liked this one. Not saying it wasn't well written, but that story lacked what this one did. This one was believeable. In that story, the husband was done so wrong it didn't make sense that he went back for seconds, I mean who in the other story sends their husband a tape of them doing things for another lover they would never do for them, rubs his nose in what she's doing with her lover (telling her husband that the lover possibly got her pregnant), mean while the husband goes out of his way to prove he's innocent, and then at the end of the story rushes to take her back because he can't live with out her? In this story the husband was done wrong, and while it was gradual, ended in the husband reclaiming his self respect not only from her, but her family as well. In Aftermath you dug the wife such a big hole it was impossible for the reader to ever like or trust her again. In this story the wife dug a hole, but you didn't trying to dig her out.

Well written and I liked the story. I laughed at times with the humor you used. If you do write a sequel please let the husband continue to have the dignity you created for him here.

-Risq

It barely qualifies as an episode. You folks give high marks solely on the basis of its not being a "wimp" ending not because there is a story here. You all may like it, but please don't call it writing! Professionals take umbrage at that!

It lacks a beginning, little to no build up, no conflict, no climax, no anti-climax, and a trite resolution. This is bt far more of a rather rambling soliloquy. It would be great on film, however. I could see Bruce Willis delivering the lines now, disheveled and drunk, with one shirt-tail hanging out, weaving about like he should be standing on a ship's foredeck in an uncertain sea. He raises an angry hand at the father-in-law. "She's tested me for the last time. I loved her, Max, but she killed it. Hope all of you are happy now." he bellows. And promptly falls overboard.

This is amateurish writing at it's very worst.

Regards,

C

You've done a great job of telling his side of the story, and I don't think even I would try to write a reconciliation to this one. However, I'd love to hear her side of it. None of what you had him say quite made sense.

Her comment that she needed more didn't jibe with his comment that she said she was getting more than she wanted. This is one very strange young woman, and I'd love to see you write her story.

I want to know why the brother was there and if she'd been set up to a degree. I wouldn't make me want to see them back together, any woman who would ask her husband to get her a drink while she was fucking someone else is not a person I'd stay married to.

Still, that just doesn't sound like this woman. If it was a test, she would have set it up different. Please consider writing the other half of the story. I know how much of a challenge it would be, but I think it could be a great story.

the way it should be

I like your writing style, and the story line!! Thank you for an enjoyable read.

Must be me....I think I am missing something in the story...

I want to shake your hand on that story i would have given my eye teeth to see kellys face when you didnt give into her cockolding ways you go man kick her in the ass.

Pat .

Atlanta

I want to shake your hand on that story i would have given my eye teeth to see kellys face when you didnt give into her cockolding ways you go man kick her in the ass.

Pat .

Atlanta

give the other cranky assholes our thanks for getting you off your butt and writing again. a fan always.

... I liked it . it was different in how it was all ways a test to see if he would take the bate.

as i said good story

Mike