Bittersweet Ch. 02

"Natty" her voice was low and sounded weak.

I turned my head; she stood there in the same cloths she wore to work. "Hey..." I said in a low tone I was going to speak but she signaled me not to.

"I'm sorry for acting that way, it's just the reality finally hit me...I mean it felt wonderful but; you're my cousin and it's suppose to be wrong." She stood there silent as I sat there, elbow on my knees and hands folded.

"What can I say to make you feel better Lace? I mean regardless or not whether I want you, the fact of the matter is I can't have anyone cry and vomit all night long because of me, I can't take, my soul can't take it, and by all that is mighty I know you can't take it. I mean I...I'm gonna head out tomorrow, first light. I'll rent an apartment next to the college and I'll try to keep my distance."

"What about Daddy and Chris?"

"Tell em' I couldn't live here, that I-I wanted my own place or something like that."

"They ain't idiots Natty; they'll figure something is up."

"What else can I do Lacey!!? I can't have us like this. I saw your look and it hit me in the gut, and every time you'll look at me I will always know that you feel disgusted with me. In the end I will end up literally killing myself just to get away from the guilt I feel knowing that I caused you that fear!" I brushed my hair from my face, calming myself down "It's better for you too, you won't have to see me and you'll probably find a good bloke that'll..." I winced at the thought of her and another man

She said nothing; she stood there in the doorway just looking at the floor boards. I stood from my chair and walked out to the beach. I walked down that beach for I don't know how long. It wasn't like we were blowing up the world trade center or causing a national disaster; with today's society we might as well have. If it was something like being gay together or interracial, it would be accepted. Only few would be against it. All we did was fall for each other, but since we are related we can't be with each other.

In the old days people only married their relatives, keeping the blood pure, hell I bet the some of these leaders in other countries are descendants of some incestual tirade. Since, however, that we are in America, which is supposed to be a free country, we can't have such a thing. This whole thing made me annoyed.

When I finally came to reality it was morning and the sun was coming up, I was facing the ocean with my uncle's place at the back. My eyes were closed and I took in the sound and smell of the morning sea air. In retrospect I should have realized that something like this would of happened the minute I punched that jerk at the restaurant.

Another body came and stood next to me, I could see it was Lacey from the corner of my eye, her red hair, her petite figure. She took in a deep breath then sat in the sand; I did the same beside her. After a minute of silence I began to draw stick figures in the sand, nothing in particular just something to pass the time by.

"You still thinking of heading out?" Her face turned to me

"Still thinking about it," I replied

"Would you reconsider if I asked you not to leave?" I stopped what I was doing in the sand and looked at her, her eyes flat now.

"Lacey, I can't do it; this thing—I couldn't stand it."

Her head came to my shoulder, her nose burring in the skin. "What I about what I can't stand?" She said, muffled by my shirt.

"What do you mean?"

Her face came up, her eyes filled with moister, red from irritation, and dead on mine. She spoke; serious as ever "Say...we could do this--this whole affair. Would you be willing if I was willing?"

"Yes, I would." I was starring at her now, questioning what she was saying.

"Natty, do you hear what I'm trying to say to you?"

"Kind...of, Are you saying that you still want to be together?"

"Exactly what I'm saying."

"Lacey, I heard you all night, throwing up and crying, and you say you still want to be with me."

"Of course I was, I just had sex with my cousin...but then I talked to you later on, saying you were going to leave, and avoid me at school. So when you left I started to think about that. First I started thinking negatively, acceptance, strain on our family relationship, what would happen if we broke up, you leaving, never talking to me again. But after a half an hour or so I began think about the positives, your love I have, how great you are when it comes to being romantic, your patience, your loyalty, getting jealous at waiters. And I realized that not having you next to me would be like not having air." Her arms came around my waist and she rested her head on my chest "It would hurt me too much to let you go."

My arm went around her waist and pulled her closer to me. I was chocked up, I truly was; she still wanted me, after her night of hell she still wanted me. "One condition" She looked up at me with worry "Please don't give me that horrified look again, you damn near broke my heart with that look, think you might succeed if you did it again." A smile came across her face and she went back into her former position

"No problem." She lent up and kissed my cheek, her soft lips gave me goose bumps and it was wonderful, I would never do anything to tarnish this new found romance.

The rest of the day was a slow one. We decided to stay inside watching old re-runs of past sitcoms. They were funny but the best part of it all was that a wonderfully soft, warm body that was curled up next to me. It took most of my effort to control my erection. The simple touch of her skin made me wild, what was I supposed to do when her whole body was against me, wanting to get as close to me as she could. Her tiny laughs sent me into a daze; could this actually be the one for me? A thought I pondered for awhile, all it took though was for her to laugh again and I knew the answer right away...yes. And I'll be damned if I can't have her like I have her now.

"Hello" Lacey said waving her hand across my face "Where you been? I asked you to change the channel like 5 minutes ago."

"Look who's getting bossy, the controller is closer to you."

"I don't give a hoot mister. Change the channel"

Nn-o-o"

"Please" She pouted her perfect pout. She is menacing, my word! this girl has me wound around her finger all ready.

"Fine, I'll do it but, you give me a kiss." She smiled and kissed lent up and kissed me. She twisted her body around to get a more comfortable feel. Her whole body came up parallel to mine, she put more pressure into the kiss now, and this...was going somewhere.

Then in an instant she pulled away "Change the channel." Then she went back to lying back into my lap. What a bummer, getting me all worked up for nothing. And she thinks I'm the cruel one, ha.