All Comments on 'Black and White Ch. 01'

The story has a good premice and I love where it is leading but you have a real issue with remembering what name you are calling characters. More then once you refered to Aditi as Tinka and you even refered to Jason as Chas. This is a huge petpev of mine and confuses the reader greatly. The site does offer volunteer editors maybe you should enlist the help of one next time. The story itself is great.

I love the story but you gotta revise a little more. I noticed a few parts where the names of characters changed and i was only able to infer the real correct name from their actions. Revision would make this story amazing! Usually i am able to just read on and ignore many of the grammar and typing errors but this story had too many and was too interesting for me to just let it go. The background of Black and what he is, really needs to be explained a little more. I find myself still a little confused as to what he is and what his thoughts are. Overall, I can't stress how good the story line is. It is very interesting and I can't wait to read more.

Hey :) I loved this story Loved loved it!!! But I was slightly confused I agree with the comment above you defiantly need to research a bit more, hope I see it on the ongoing chapters xox Baby789

This is like finding a hidden treasure, wow, just wow.