All Comments on 'Black Angel and Golden Butterfly'

There were parts I loved and a lot of little things I strongly disliked. If the author used an editor at all, it was the wrong editor. The grammar and punctuation errors were insanely numerous. The story read like Cliff's notes. Very short scenes, little to no detail, just action. Very little emotive content and not much inner dialogue to explain completely irrational behavior. The female character wasn't written as an idiot, yet she was dense enough to accept his line about why he raped/sodomized her... I couldn't talk, so I showed you what happened? It's a crock. It doesn't wash. Being bi-racial, I do feel that the author keyed in on the issues that are faced by those with mixed ethnic backgrounds. There are a few passages that seem so starkly brilliant in contrast with the rest of the story that they just pop. "Two fractured halves that don't fit together... My father is white. White like paper. White like rice. White like a sheet." That Akira went from his father to 3 separate inatimate objects, linking someone who was supposed to be a caregiver to three items that he had no emotional response to, was telling.

Excellent in parts.

A revision might make it superb.