All Comments on 'Bobby Gets Lucky at the Office'

This could be a great series with an episode with each person

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Spelling errors, punctuation errors, capitalization problems, syntax, ... I could go on. Get an editor!

I couldn't read it without laughing.

If you're interested in writing, first use the grammar checker in your word processor to eliminate the worst mistakes, and then sign up for the Literotica editor program to get some help.

I agree with the other comments. You have a good story line with lots of potential to develop and add on. Lot's of combinations to work with. That said, as others have noted you need to get an editor because there are lot's of mistakes here: grammar, spelling, who said what etc. This story was very difficult to read for those reasons. Easy to read = easy to pay attention to the story and the characters.

Excellent ideas. BBWs at work are a real turn on aren't they? However, you could really use a grammar check. Don't be discouraged by this because that's the easy bit to learn. You already have the creative side so keep going and don't leave us in suspense..