by sinny435
I realy like this so far it's already got me waiting for the next chapter which I hope will be twice as long
It's easy to miss a lot of insignificant grammatical typos and dropped words when it's your words. You know what you meant to say. Having someone else to read over your stuff is really helpful.
For example, your first sentence. "In many stories, the start is one, if not the most important parts." Did you mean "In many stories, the start is one of, if not the most..."? Small stuff like that which doesn't have to do with story. Tiny mistakes but they add up to the reader. Read your story with a critical eye and you might start noticing them. Decent vs Descent, Thus vs This, etc.
Keep it coming, love where this is going.
High potential, but it will be even better with an editor.
(For the most part, actually, you need the editor for grammar, not spelling, and English grammar can be a real pain.)
Very interesting story so far. Hope you post multiple pages though, and an editor might be a good idea.
The intro was absalutally amazing if i do say say so.
You have started to make a very interesting world and i look forward to seeing the developments