All Comments on 'Brandi and Kelly Ch. 01'

Really like the long first chapter, gets us into the action and hope for some hot events ahead.

This is fun. Keep it up!

luv the way you write! it seems so real!!

I can however, tell you don't frequent BDSM clubs very often if at all.

I like the way you write but like the MC stories better than this one

I will still read the next chapter though :)

I have never been to a BDSM club but would it be more interesting like the one in the story? Is MC an author? Oh! You mean a club. Living in North Wales is a bit out of the way. You may be glad to know the stories get more heavy as they go along, thanks for the comment. You could alwsy email me with info about a real club.

I look forward to continuing reading this story and the future parts you provide us with. Thanks

Can't believe anyone is that dumb. Which made the rest of the story unbelievable. And there's no sense in reading further. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

Who needs a blasted key? Just get a pair of wirecutters for gosh sakes, & cut the stupid earrings off!

Not too hot, not to cold, just like the little bear's porridge; not too fast, leaving out interesting detail except the hurt and the glow of getting her ass spanked and then Caned. More physical and emotional response is called for here, and the mechanics of baring her bottom for the spanking are a little bit sketchy and not nearly traumatizing enough; not too slow and overall very good.

PS. Did she wear her collar at home and how did that make her feel? Thanks for the story.

DHL

...thank you for writing one. Can't enough of them.

It’s all to far fetched and unbelievable, BDSM, when practiced properly relies heavily on consent. How we’re supposed to believe that who earns a living from tattooing and piercing would agree to pierce someone against their will is laughable. The same applies to any activities inside a BDSM club. Further chapter headings indicate auctions and selling the girls as slaves, unless this is actually a human trafficking operation none of it makes any sense. ANY legitimate club would respect their right to refuse.

It's one of those unbelievable stories where at every turn the naive waif puts up a fight, but is over matched by her tormentors. At some point any real person would pitch a fit consequences be damned in front of everyone. It's like reading some penny dreadful about little Polly Trueheart being led down the garden path to her ruin. She just keeps on making the same mistakes and never learns. I've never read 50 Shades, but this is how I imagine it must have read.

Kevin is clearly some sort of narcissistic asshole. Using someone as a human lab rat? His research would be rejected and he'd be black-balled. That's the kind of stain that doesn't wash off in the sciences. Yeah, you can cheat on your wife, fuck students, beat your kids or call other scientists fucknuts and shit-for-brains and still keep your academic reputation, but if you experiment on unwilling, uninformed people it's the end of your career. And any accurate telling of his experiences with Brandi and Kelly would tell everyone how guilty he was of that. Gloss over that, and it would have been less effort and expense to have just made it all up like some researchers do. John also seems to clearly tell him that a D/s relationship has to be discussed and negotiated, but he completely ignores that and at almost every turn forces her to go further. Not just pushes her limits (of which she's never informed she's allowed to set), but coerces her while she's vulnerable and de facto imprisoned.

John seems to be either an idiot or working with Thomas on the sly. I'm leaning toward both. Why would you let someone into your circle who does what you think he does? You give his activities a sheen of legitimacy to others who don't know what the real story is, taint yourself associating with him, or both. You can bet a scumbag like that would name drop you in other circles to gain whatever advantage he was seeking. What John should be doing is taking his suspicions to law enforcement not playing Nancy Drew. He advises Kevin, but then never follows up and finds out what exactly is going on with Brandi. Have one of your subs sidle up to her and find out what's going through her head and if Kevin is listening.

Yes, I know this is non-consent/reluctance and it's just a story. I've read and stuck with hard-core stories about kidnap and forced permanent sex slavery. I've even been really turned on by such stories at times. It is fantasy for titillation and it's only fantasy. The rapey coercive elements aren't what bother me.

This series is well written and the dialog is good, but the plot elements and pathetic, idiotic and craven characters in sum leave me cold. As a short story on it's own the BDSM club part (part 1 of the series) would have been pretty good if a little unrealistic. By itself I would have probably given it a 4 or 5 (leaning toward 5 to bump the average up). In total I'm giving the whole series a 3. For me it's one of those frustrating stories where the more you read, the more you want to reach into your computer and slap the protagonist silly yelling "Wake up!" over and over. Also, I just can't let go of how many of the other characters are idiots or scumbags. Reading that kind of story isn't entertaining to me through a multi-part series.