Break a Leg

I had been on the Ortho service for only a few days when I got paged by 2E, and was told I needed to come cath a woman with a fractured femur. I started up to 2E, wondering why they called me (male intern)- most female caths were done by nurses. In fact, I could not recall EVER doing one, except during the delivery of a baby when we worried that a full bladder was interfering with the delivery (it was).

When I got to 2E, the nurse showed me to a private room and the patient, a beautiful blonde 19y/o girl who had been hit by a car in the cross-walk that morning. Her femur was broken high up, and I could see her lower abdomen distended- she was a thin girl but her full bladder made her look pregnant. And her broken femur had caused swelling so that the leg extended over her vulva. Apparently several nurses had "tried" to find the urethra, and now they had ME (who had done one simple cath before).

I couldn't think of any way to bail out, so I began. I introduced myself to the patient and explained what I proposed to do (she already knew). She was heavily sedated with morphine, so she was sort of feeling good, but hurting, and a little "out of it".

I took some betadine and rubbed it between her legs, but could not see what I was rubbing. I tried "pushing" the swollen leg tissue out of the way, but that caused her pain. Eventually I just took one finger (covered with KY lubricant) and poked it in between her legs. I rubbed it up, then down, trying to find "the anatomy". I sort of could feel where her vagina was, and after the third pass I could feel her clitoris (getting stiff).

"What are you going to do that the nurses couldn't do?" she asked. "And is what you are doing now part of it?"

I explained that her leg was so swollen that we could not SEE her vulva, nor her urethra, which is why nobody had been able to pass the catheter- I was just trying to determine "about where it might be" and told her I thought I had a pretty good idea so I would gently "try"- and she should tell me if it hurt because I would stop.

I explained that if I could not drain her bladder this way, we would have to put a catheter in through her lower abdominal wall, which was a minor surgical procedure- if I could "get lucky" we could avoid that because once the catheter was in, her bladder would drain.

I again ran my well-lubed finger up and down a couple of times, then with the finger in place, I took the catheter in my other hand and sort of "poked" it just below my finger- which I guess was on her now stiff clitoris. I did this again and again, asking if it hurt to tell me.

She finally said, "it doesn't hurt, not at all..." I moved my finger down and again used it to brace the catheter against as it poked forward- and on about the 10th try she shuddered and said, "sorry, I couldn't help that."

A few tries more and I actually felt the catheter slide forward and before I could reposition the end, urine squirted out the end of the catheter under the pressure of her distended bladder- onto me. and the bed. She had more than 1000cc. in that bladder. I taped down the cath and the nurse went to get dry bedding- once she was out of the room, the patient said to me, "that probably is going to be the most fun I have while in the hospital! PLUS not having the full bladder feels wonderful in its own right. I guess I owe YOU a good time, OK?"

I was flustered and pleased... but simply said, "thank you, I am happy I got lucky and could help you." I am pretty sure the nurse in the room could see how much of a hard-on I had because I was wearing flimsy scrub pants.

She laughed, "it was ME who got lucky! But next time we meet you will really get lucky."

I knew she was confused by the narcotics, but I blushed anyway. Or maybe it was knowing that the nurse knew how excited I was. The patient never looked me up, but I think of her often when I am horny. The nurse did manage to seduce me in the coming week - apparently she had been excited by watching me finger this broken girl over and over until she had an orgasm. Not surprising that Ginger (the nurse) insisted that I use my finger on her pussy for a long time before she allowed intercourse.