Bumpy Road Ahead

The fact that she went looking is still causing me grief, "My question is, how could she search out and find a guy without telling me first about her thoughts?"

Jason ponders for a moment, taking another drag on his cigarette. "Most men couldn't even handle the glancing thought of their partner with someone else. They would kill anyone that would look at their woman let alone take them to bed." Pausing for a second he continues, "You are a stronger man than most to even approach it this the way."

"Why would I want to punish her for being curious? She has only been with me and discussing the urge or impulse to act on it without my knowledge would be more harmful," My cigarette is almost done and I am starting to calm down a bit. My stomach has is now a faint dull ache, although I know as soon as I go back into the office it will probably start acting up again. Taking another drag and exhaling the slowly as I ponder his point, Jason tries to cheer me up seeing my face looking so down, "You're coming out tonight, right? You can throw down and get your frustration out punching and kicking."

"Yeah, you're right, that would help."

"Fucking right it would. Get that frustration out on the punching bags, should help you focus." his cigarette is done and he walks over to the outdoor ash tray to put it out.

"It would give me a distraction, and allow me to get some energy worked off. Plus I don't want to start gaining weight after all the work I have done for the past six weeks." Jason was the one that got me working out at the club he has been with for a over a year now. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be losing the weight and feeling more confident over the past few months. "I will be out tonight, it's at 7 pm right?" as I navigate to the ashtray to put my butt out.

"Yeah 7 pm, but I might be there earlier to do the strength and conditioning," swiping his card we hear the beep to unlock the door.

Pulling the door open, I exclaim, "You're fucking crazy! I don't know how you can do that and then the class right after."

"Nothing else to do. I have sworn off women, so I have time, " as he opens the door and holds it for me.

"True," as we pass through the door and walk down the hallway back to our desks. "Thanks again, I appreciate letting me vent and get this off my chest."

"Anytime. I have vented to you about my girl issues, so it is only fair."

We're passing through the cafe area again and heading towards the elevator and a few of his teammates join us heading towards the elevator. We get to the elevator and push the button while everyone is making idol chit chat.. With a ding, the elevator announces itself as the door opens up so we can pile in. Granted it is only four floors up but the walk to get to the stairs is longer then taking the elevator and since Jason is on the support queue he really doesn't have the time to hike around the building to take the stairs. Granted, it is a bit lazy but it does make it faster to get back to the desks and that is my excuse.

Once the elevator has arrived at our floor we step out and start to work towards his desk. "Well, I should get some work done," as I slow down my pace near my the door back to my desk.

Jason stops and turns to face me, "No problem. If you need to find me later, swing by."

"Will do, thanks again."

Jason heads off quickly to his desk so he can sign back in to his queue as I turn to the door and open it up. On my way to my desk, my mind slowly turns back to my wife and I realize that I need to confront her to understand more on how this happened. I love my wife and would do anything to have her happy but I need trust and right now that is where I think my issue is. I sit down at my desk and focus on work as I glance at the clock on my phone. Four more hours to go but all I really want is to be talking to my wife so I can get this off of my chest.

**************

The afternoon dragged on to the point that I thought it would never end. Nothing I did distracted me from the thoughts running through my head. After what felt like an eternity, it was finally time to go home and I quickly packed up my desk and headed out. My mind was so clouded by my thoughts that I instinctively left the building by routine and got into my car. Starting up the engine and pulling out of the parking lot, I pretty much flew home driving through a few late yellows so I didn't have to wait any longer then I had to.

Parking the car in the driveway and then heading through the front door, I see my boys playing on the Xbox. They are focused on the TV and know that I came home, but didn't really have to say anything, "Dads home," and "I know." I walk into the kitchen to deposit the lunch that I didn't eat and then head to the living room to work on my laptop. As it booted up, I start to think, should I put spy software to monitor what she was doing? Could I do something on the router to track her activity? As I login to the laptop and wait for the desktop to come up, I thought more about it. I have to know what is happening, I just can't sit here. Not knowing is killing me to the point that I didn't want to eat.

Torn on what to do, I open up Firefox and navigate to my google reader to go through the news feeds. Like last night, my mind is not focused on what my eyes are doing, so it is going through the motions while my mind continues to work on the problem. I open another tab and in the google search field I type in 'Spying software' and hit enter. Up pops up lots of hits so I click on the first one to review the top ten software. Scanning the page I start to feel guilty, and after a few minutes of reading the descriptions I realized I really couldn't do it. The impact if she found out would be almost as bad as when she told me about Gary. I have to keep the trust between us and the communication open. If anything breaks that, I will have more of a problem.

Dinner time is quickly approaching so I close the laptop lid and head to the kitchen to figure out dinner. Surprisingly my mind is able to focus better on making food then at work. I pull out the food from the freezer and turn on the oven as my youngest wanders into the kitchen. This would entail him asking what is for dinner I suspect, so I patiently wait for the question to come out of his mouth.

"Whats for dinner?" he says with a slight grin..

Smiling I simply say, "Food."

"What kind of food?"

"Cooked kind," as I turn back to the fridge to see what vegetables we have.

"AWWW Dad!" he whines but with a bigger smile now.

"What do we normally have tonight," I ask since I really don't want to tell him. It ruins all the fun and besides, they know the schedule by now on what we do for dinner. Opening the freezer I find one half bag of mixed vegetables that can be our side dish of vegetables.

"Oh, so it is veal and pasta then."

"Good guess," I reply as he then turns around and heads back to the family room repeating what he just said to his older brother.

I start to get everything ready for dinner and clean up the kitchen from last nights dishes. I try to have the kitchen kept clean but I do have times where I forget about it. Then having to do a major clean up later which usually involves a stack of dishing in the drying rack. As I finish cleaning the counters and have dinner in the oven I hear the front door open. With the kids up it will make it harder to find out more but I really can't wait. Discussing what has happened is not something that I want to do in front of the kids. Jane walks into the kitchen, greeting the boys who barely take their eyes off the TV.

"How are you doing?" as she puts down her work bag and comes towards me.

"Well, still in shock," A small white lie but it is partially true. "Trying to get a grip on everything," still trying to understand how it came about is more accurate. "Is there anything else that you want to tell me?" I ponder to my wife.

She looks at me trying to read why thoughts, "Well do you want to be surprised again?" with a slight mischief smile.

Another surprise? Could I handle this one or will it send me back to the abyss of uncertainty again. Slowly I say, "Yessss, I think."

She comes up to give me a hug and and then pulls back to whisper in my ear, "I want you to find someone too and after you sleep with them, I want to hear all about it."

I think time stood still for that split second. This was not what I expected to come out of her mouth just now. I had suspicions that is what she wants, but it still surprised me. My cock stirs and she pushes in closer to rub against it with her body, nudging it to life. "Really?," my cock growing by the second, "Just didn't expect that to be what you were going to say."

"Why do you say that?" she asks as she pulls away from the hug and turns to the stove to see how long dinner has left. Then looks in the microwave to see if I have forgotten the vegetables.

Carefully formulating my thoughts I ask, "Well I am still a bit confused as to how this all came about? I am not upset since it is not the thought of the cock that you want to fuck," which caused another stir in my pants, "but more on how it came about. You just thought one day that you should sign up to a dating site and look for another man. This is where I am confused."

At this point my oldest comes into the kitchen with his nose sniffing trying to determine what is for dinner. Interrupted again so I will have to carry on this discussion when they are in bed. It's too hard to discuss these kind of details with little ears hearing things that they couldn't possibly understand. Plus I need to collect my thoughts after the latest surprise she has thrown my way. The timer goes off on stove so and I quickly turn it off and prepare getting dinner on the table.

I will sit down with her after my workout and discuss more on her thoughts and feelings, I think as I start to get the plates out for dinner. Actually since she told me her feelings it seems that we are more carefree in discussing our thoughts. I just hope that we can discuss our fears as easily too. The communication between us seems to be expanding which is great. I just hope that there are no more surprises in store. I yell to the boys to get ready for dinner as the rest of the food is being placed on the kitchen counter ready to be served.

************

Dragging my ass back home after class felt longer then what it was. Wanting to talk to Jane some more about her thoughts was one of the reasons, with the other being my body is tired from the workout. Was the first time were our instructor drilled us so hard and the sheen of sweat over my body when we finished was thick. Pulling into the driveway and I sit for a minute to collect my thoughts. Picking up my phone and making sure I have everything I turn the car off and getting out of the car. I retrieve my gym bag from the trunk and head to the front door, the cool air helping to cool me off since I am still sweating.

Closing the front door I notice the boys are up still, though they would be going to bed soon enough. Dropping my gym bag to the floor with a dull thud I proceed take my shoes off. My hair is soaked with sweat and I can smell my body which I really don't want to have on the couch. I should be able to have a shower and be done before the boys go to bed so I can get my goodnight hugs. Heading upstairs to the shower, I drop my phone of on the end table on my way by.

Stripping my sweat soaked clothes, I toss them in the laundry hamper. Heading into the bathroom, I walk over and turn the water on letting it warm up. Testing the water with my hand, I adjust it so that it is slightly warm but cool enough to not get me any hotter. Taking my towel off the back of the door I toss it onto the side of the tub and slide into the shower stall. Quickly lathering up and then rinsing off my body of all the soap and sweat, I notice the definite loss of weight as I move my hands over my body. My stomach is drastically reduced, to the point that I don't look like a bloated pinata anymore. Reaching for the shampoo so I can wash my hair, I dunk my head under the water and then lather up my hair. My hair is starting to get a long again, I think as my fingers run through it as I lather my hair in soap. I wonder if she would be into shower games? I ponder as my head goes under the water to rinse off my head.

Turning the water off I get out of the shower and start to dry off. Looking into the mirror, I notice the change in my body. Some muscle toning is happening along my back and arms. My upper body is starting to show the loss in weight and muscle toning is seen my deltoids. Flexing a bit shows my muscles along my back puff out a bit. My pecs are still half 'moobs' but they are looking smaller and starting to perk up. Even my thighs look smaller which is notice of late when I have pants on and they feel 'big' and 'baggy'. The change is good and I feel stronger, more confident, and even have more energy.

After finishing drying off my body, I quickly brush my hair so it is not a mess when I get up in the morning and then throw some bumming around pants and a t-shirt. Heading down the stairs I hear Jane yell up from the basement to the youngest it is bed time. Meeting him at the bottom of the stairs he gives me a quick hug and then heads down to see my wife for hers. I grab my phone and make sure I haven't missed any messages before I head downstairs to see what my wife is doing.

My youngest is heading back up the stairs so I wait until he has got to the top and then say "Good night," as he walks by.

"Good night." he responds as he starts to skip to the upstairs to his room.

Just wish I had about a quarter of that energy, thinking to myself as I walk down the stairs. I then ponder on how to approach the subject again and as I turn to see Jane on the laptop typing away. Not even thinking twice I ask, "Talking to Gary?"

She looks up at me and says, "Yes."

I move to sit on the couch beside her. Normally she is on the love seat but tonight she is on the couch I normally sit on. Reaching for the remote I turn on the TV and receiver which turn on with a "click". Realizing I have to turn on the media system I get up and walk over to turn it on, noticing that Jane glanced up quickly to see what I was doing. Sitting back down on the couch I flip to the shows that are available for today. Picking one our favourites from the list it pauses for a second then starts. I look over at her and ask, "Anything interesting?"

"Not really," she pauses and then asks, "Do you have any other questions?"

Looking at the TV but not paying all my attention to it I reply, "Lots but wouldn't know where to start," I say as I shift my seat, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Well Gary said that he understands what you are going through. He is in an open marriage and if you have any questions feel free to ask him."

Interesting, "So he is in an open marriage."

She realizes that this is going to be a longer explanation and turns towards me to give me her full attention. "They have been in an open marriage for four years now. She was the one that wanted to explore and after that and they have found that this is best for their relationship. It works for them," and she pauses for a second, "and I think that we are on that same path."

"So you want to do this? You really want to fuck another guy? I still can't understand how you went looking and we didn't discuss it first? That is where I am the most confused and frustrated." My eyes start to get a little misty and she notices that I am starting to get agitated.

She quickly turns back to her laptop and starts the shutdown process and closes the lid. Placing it on the bench in front of her she turns back to me. She looks at me and her eyes slightly water and she leans over to pull me in close, "I never wanted to hurt you and really can't explain how this came to what I did. I was scared to tell you but I am glad I did."

"You were scared to tell me?" I was surprised by this statement.

"I didn't know how you were going to react. I knew that you were open to the idea but just didn't know how you would react."

Good point, I thought. I couldn't imagine how most of my friends would have reacted with that news. Going over all the the conversations again, to what she has told me so far, I start to get more curious and bold with my questions, "How long have you had these urges, ah, thoughts?"

She thinks for a second, "I have had these thoughts for over eight years. I didn't think I would actually act on them let alone find someone that I would think about fucking." She looks into my eyes, "Can you understand that?"

"Well no, not really," I stare back at her, "I thought that something like this would have been discussed first before looking. I am just glad we are talking about it. Actually since you have told me, I have felt more," my eyes seem to focus off into the distance as I try to come up with a description.

"Confused?" she interjects.

"Well that is one feeling, but I also feel closer. We have not talked like this in a very long time. I have taken you for granted in a lot of areas. For that I am sorry," did I really say that out loud?

"I agree," as she sits up and seems to be thinking of something.

"But, " I continue, "if you want to pursue this then we have to talk openly. Clearly." Looking into her eyes I can see she understands. "I do not want to get back into this rut of not talking. I suspect this would have been brought up before if we did talk." I then started to grin, "I also have not stopped thinking about your pussy," as I slide in closer to her, "which is another weird feeling. I am so horny that all I want is you. I want to fuck you right now!"

"Well, what are you waiting for," as she smiles and moves her face close to mine.

Looking into her eyes I can see the affection for me and at that moment all doubt of the past 24 hours disappears as touch her lips with my in a very slow seductive kiss. Her mouth parts slightly as her tongue whips out to tease my lips. My mouth opens as our lips lock together and our tongues start to tease one and other. Her hands reach up and caress my hair lightly and my cock jumps at that feeling of her affection.

Her night shirt is loose so my hands easily slide under it and caress her back pulling her in closer as our kissing seems to have ignited a long lost passion. I pull my mouth slightly away from hers and I move to her neck nibbling and teasing it with my mouth and teeth. Searching with my hands, they move up her back and down along her spine tracing it gently with my fingers down to her ass cheeks. I feel a slight shiver from her as my mouth moves up to her earlobe and I gently trace her ear with my tongue. A short gasp escapes her lips followed by a low moan of pleasure.

My tongue traces her neck down to her below her chin and then to the other side, ensuring that I give equal time to the other side. Her hands slide down my back to pull me in closer and her tits push against my chest. Her smell is intoxicating and I don't recall being turned on by just smelling her. I break away from her and reach down to pull her shirt off, wanting full access to her tits. Her nipples are hard and I use both hands to tease them. Jane lets out a moan and her head tilts back a bit from the pleasure. Wanting to suck one of them I lean down and take one nipple in my mouth, sucking and teasing it with my teeth, while my other hand continues to tweak the other nipple.

Jane's hands move to my front trying to feel my nipples through my shirt. With some success she moves her hands down and lifts my shirt up to gain access to my chest. Teasing my nipples with tweaks and pulls she starts to get them erect. I lean back and she takes my shirt off and tosses it to the floor and then leans down to suck on my nipple. I sigh and lean back a bit. She pulls and sucks my nipple, getting it to come out as far as it can. I can't take it anymore, I need her pussy so push her back onto the couch and start to take her pants off. They fall to the floor in a pile as I bury my head into her pussy smelling her sweet aroma before I can even make contact with my tongue.