All Comments on 'Bus Story'

Great buildup with characters and anticipation. Thank you really enjoyed it.

That was pretty good! A little cheesy at the beginning, but definitely worth the read. Keep up the good work!

I loved it, you did a great job, hope you keep on writing with the same passion that you wrote this story!!

Congradulations

i'm dripping wet. wonderful story.

This is my favorite kind of story. I fell in love with the characters and it was so well written that I forgot that it was an erotic story... until the sex of course (which was great)

I liked it from the start! Great story! Would love to know how it plays out during the summer! Any chance of a follow up story?

I enjoyed this story quite a bit. Also the ending was pretty smart.

The only complaint I have is that some of the description of the sexual positions in the bus were a bit confusing. I couldn't figure out what they looked to be doing.

I hope you will continue this story!

Excellent story. Follow-up would be great :)

I loved the dialogue.... great story!

This story was so well written that it should be picked up for some kind of television/movie adaptation. I related to the characters in a way that made them seem real to me...that I could almost see and hear them talking to one another. The courtship was especially engaging and the decption was brilliantly done. This is the first time that I have commented on a story and just wanted you to know how much I admire your writing. What made the story work wasn't the sex [which is what so many stories in literotica usually focus on (understandably), but the courtship. Thank you for sharing your story.

Loved this story, I thought it was really great. Th sex scene was merely icing on a fabulous cake.

I enjoyed it a lot.

Great story, sex, characters, everything. You've got some serious talent in writing. Use it more.

Beautiful, truly beautiful, but obviously FAKE!!! Hahahahahaha n00b, h@h@, u w177 n3v3r b3 @5 1337 @5 m3!!! but really though, good fic.

To echo what everyone else has said, this was very captivating. Please, please, please write more on what happens next....

The whole thing was so vivid, that I could picture Jessica.....perfection is what she sounds like...more, more!!

Bravo!

I could visualize both characters and could even place myself on the bus and in the summer camp job. Great story!

and excellently written.

Very good writing, but I didn't get the question game they were playing. He answers her question before they start playing cards, then she's supposed to, but she didn't. Also, if she's Caroline's roommate, had he ever met her? That wasn't clear. Why didn't they just meet after one of his wrestling matches? Jessica clearly liked Elvis for a while, so why wasn't there a double date with him instead of the other losers she was fixed up with?

Most of all, I just don't like these kind of stories - where the girl lies to and manipulates the guy. Not a great start to a relationship, if that's what she was trying to do with him.