All Comments on 'Camping Trip Pt. 01'

A really good start on the story, please continue in the same manner.

hope she is pregnant when she comes home from the camping trip.

great start you have a lot of possibilities go to it!

finish your story, look forward to the next chapter

Typos, grammar, and other technical issues are excellent. The premise isn't bad either. The mom causes issues to drive the daughter to dad. Good. But the dad from the get go comes off as a creeper. Every step of the way it's apparent that the full court press is on, and she seems way too innocent. It just felt creepy to me. I know some readers are into that, but it's a swing and a miss for me.

Semi-castrated myself, a pre-pubescent Lolita would be much safer, as my daughter!

Not bad as the story goes, but could she really be that stupid showing herself in a swimsuit that is barely there to her dad?

Never once raised a fuss about where his hands were made her all too willing to do more, adding to the thrill of beng watched while she came.

I gave a four. I stayed away from the five because of his lapping up her cum. I got questions about that. In my time I've had women who got very juicy, so to speak, and have even managed to get one to expel fluid, I've heard some people call it gush, but never had one cum in such a way I could swallow it.

If you are a woman, you ought to know what you are talking about, but I suspect you are a man and you are just writing a good story. If that's not the case, I've missed a lot in the last seventy years. Why do I mention the above? Well, the closer the story is to the truth, the easier it is to suspend belief and for us normal folks to get into it.

Besides from that, Mrs. Lincoln, I really liked the story. You have talent and should write more.

The trust & love between the two come across well, and the backdrop & premise are good. The eroticism would be much better if it was a slower & gradual build up of incremental crossed lines ...

and this is supposed to be erotic?

a father who wants to seduce his daughter, but does it in view of others? in public?

the man is a pervert.

Hot story. Too bad the author is a "one and done" type shmuck.

Please tell us about their first time!

Ended too Soo.

Please continue.

FDD

Very hot. I love it when a daughter gets her pussy licked and suckd. She seemed to really enjoy it as did mine.

It was like the first 20 minutes of a 2 hour movie. That was the start, what is the finish?

I love it. I'm waiting for the next chapters. 5 stars