All Comments on 'Can't You Knock First?'

by citguy00

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  • 22 Comments
kingswedekingswedealmost 13 years ago
VERY GOOD

Keep the story going with the MOM getting together with the son and then the daughter and then both of them.

Yoy can even add the dad at a later date.

bakerdanbakerdanalmost 13 years ago

Wow. Havent logged onto Literotica for years, and this was the first story I read. Lets get mum involved as well.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
very hottttt.

As someone who has had experience with his sister, this is very good. Please continue...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
rewrite/editor

this needs a total rewrite and a good editor. do not post any more stories until you fix this mess and always use a good editor before posting. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND FINISH WHAT YOU START OR DON'T BOTHER BEGINING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
.

Bleh. Lousy editing. It was bad enough that I didn't finish the story. The other mindless zombies will though. They're just as functionally illiterate.

Naughty_MistyNaughty_Mistyalmost 13 years ago
You need an editor

I am going to echo what other people have said - "Please find and use an editor."

Wirh some editing and a bit of fleshing out this could be a much better first submission. The storyline in and of itself is intriguing, but if you plan on trying to make this a series, you really should do rewrite. I hope you follow the suggestions we've offered!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Editor!

(Please!)

Scorpio44Scorpio44almost 13 years ago
They are right...

the story needs an editor. It also cries out for the story of what happens in the family in the next few days.

Lots of potential here... Up to you to make it happen.

wanna69me5wanna69me5almost 13 years ago
nice one

That was a good read, cant wait for more.

chytownchytownalmost 13 years ago
Good Read!

Thank you thanks for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Mary

Get your Editor to explain who Mary is & when she joined in.

Darkangelgirl13Darkangelgirl13almost 13 years ago
Excellent

I loved it, that was a great read. And for the question of who's mary, it's short for his sister's name i'm guessing, nicknames are always fun in story. It was excellent read and hope there is more to come like this one

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Mary

get it, Marilyn, Mary, i have a friend whos named Marilyn, but everyone just calls her mari...me and he boyfriend call her Mare tho:)

horndog_2007horndog_2007almost 13 years ago
Part 2, 3, 4... ?????

Great story. Really enjoyed it. I hope there are more chapters to come.

citguy00citguy00almost 13 years agoAuthor
Thank you

Thank you all for your constructive criticism and interest in this story. Yes there will be a part 2 and I will be consulting an editor. The sister gets a little kinky and tries to show mom in her own rebellious ways that it was all good. Until then keep checking back.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
great great great..

dont worry what the others are saying they dont know anything.. if more stories where like this i would be happy.. great story i loved it..

joep01joep01over 12 years ago
I hope there is a part 2 to this story if not more

Great story, nice cadence to it. I hope that there is a part 2 or more. Thanks!

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichover 12 years ago
Since his mom has seen his big cock fucking his sister

Perhaps she will want some of that young hard cock for herself.

It would be interesting to read about him fucking his sister and his mom.

Thanks for the read

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
You just couldn't resist it could you

I quit reading when you had the brother lick his sister's ass hole. Totally ruined the story for me.

Plus there's a category for this kind of story. It's called Anal. Use it. Writers need to use it for these kind of stories. I'm getting tired of this crap thrown in my face when I don't want it and am not looking for it.

The old fart.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago

Quit whining you old fuck. So she licked his fucking ass, big fucking deal! Just because you have some weird hangup about anal or being a closet fag doesn't make it our problem! When I go down on my wife I frequently lick her ass, doesn't make it 'anal' by any stretch of the imagination! Incest doesn't exclude a particular kind of sex. The only thing that should be moved out of here should be rape/non-con (which is rape) since that supersedes any type/kind of sex.

Though you might want to skip the next chapter, he might bang mommy's back door!!

prop69prop69over 5 years ago
Short but AWESOME

What a FANTASTIC SISTER

How about adding Mom and Dad the next time

OseekerOseeker11 months ago

I wish that girls got excited & horny from just seeing a boy's erection but that is extremely rare if non existent.

2 Stars

Anonymous
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