by citguy00
Keep the story going with the MOM getting together with the son and then the daughter and then both of them.
Yoy can even add the dad at a later date.
Wow. Havent logged onto Literotica for years, and this was the first story I read. Lets get mum involved as well.
As someone who has had experience with his sister, this is very good. Please continue...
this needs a total rewrite and a good editor. do not post any more stories until you fix this mess and always use a good editor before posting. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND FINISH WHAT YOU START OR DON'T BOTHER BEGINING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Bleh. Lousy editing. It was bad enough that I didn't finish the story. The other mindless zombies will though. They're just as functionally illiterate.
I am going to echo what other people have said - "Please find and use an editor."
Wirh some editing and a bit of fleshing out this could be a much better first submission. The storyline in and of itself is intriguing, but if you plan on trying to make this a series, you really should do rewrite. I hope you follow the suggestions we've offered!
the story needs an editor. It also cries out for the story of what happens in the family in the next few days.
Lots of potential here... Up to you to make it happen.
I loved it, that was a great read. And for the question of who's mary, it's short for his sister's name i'm guessing, nicknames are always fun in story. It was excellent read and hope there is more to come like this one
get it, Marilyn, Mary, i have a friend whos named Marilyn, but everyone just calls her mari...me and he boyfriend call her Mare tho:)
Great story. Really enjoyed it. I hope there are more chapters to come.
Thank you all for your constructive criticism and interest in this story. Yes there will be a part 2 and I will be consulting an editor. The sister gets a little kinky and tries to show mom in her own rebellious ways that it was all good. Until then keep checking back.
dont worry what the others are saying they dont know anything.. if more stories where like this i would be happy.. great story i loved it..
Great story, nice cadence to it. I hope that there is a part 2 or more. Thanks!
Perhaps she will want some of that young hard cock for herself.
It would be interesting to read about him fucking his sister and his mom.
Thanks for the read
I quit reading when you had the brother lick his sister's ass hole. Totally ruined the story for me.
Plus there's a category for this kind of story. It's called Anal. Use it. Writers need to use it for these kind of stories. I'm getting tired of this crap thrown in my face when I don't want it and am not looking for it.
The old fart.
Quit whining you old fuck. So she licked his fucking ass, big fucking deal! Just because you have some weird hangup about anal or being a closet fag doesn't make it our problem! When I go down on my wife I frequently lick her ass, doesn't make it 'anal' by any stretch of the imagination! Incest doesn't exclude a particular kind of sex. The only thing that should be moved out of here should be rape/non-con (which is rape) since that supersedes any type/kind of sex.
Though you might want to skip the next chapter, he might bang mommy's back door!!
What a FANTASTIC SISTER
How about adding Mom and Dad the next time
I wish that girls got excited & horny from just seeing a boy's erection but that is extremely rare if non existent.
2 Stars