All Comments on 'Carol's Patch Job Ch. 05'

I had some interest in this story after the first two installments, and overlooked the partial and unconnected sentences because there was a potential interesting plot involved. But, that proved to be a waste of time, as the story continued to jump around. There seemed to be parts missing between installments, and in the later installments, there seemed to be no congruence between the story ideas. I found myself returning to the earlier portions to see if I had overlooked something that would fill in the plot. But, I never seemed to find the magic key that would hold the story together. What a shame, what a waste. Perhaps some outside help would have made a difference.

Janice had been a self-absorbed creature from Word 1. The final twist is in perfect alignment with that character. I admit, while I should have seen it coming I didn't. <P>

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You laid the groundwork throughout the story. The doctor's comments, Danny's comments, Janice's own comments.... they all were hints of what was to come. <p>

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Keep up the good work.

She needs serious medical attention, not therapist, not counselors, they cant correct mental problems. The husband was not much better he could not see thru the veil she wore. At least the daughter was a realist and worked in the real world. The exwife is a beautiful example of I've got my cake and a I am eating it to. If you eat something you cant have it, and if you keep it you cant eat it. She destroyed herself with her greed and need for self gratification. Perhaps one more chapter where the exhusband and family go to the exwife's funeral after she blows her brains away in total mental anguish.

Fantastic job!! Loved that Janice got what was coming to her. You did a great job on the love scene.

This was more realistic to an extent. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Janice just could not change. Therapy did not, in the end, do her any permanent good. Her "punishment" is pretty mild, considering. She gets to see what she threw away and then has regrets and jealousies. Big deal. Considering her adulterous past, her transfer of syphilis to her faithful husband who had sacrificed all for her and their children, her lies, her concealment of money in a separate account (another form of cheating in her marriage), and then the way she shat upon her husband coldly, and with premeditation (when she served him divorce papers), I think her comeuppance was totally inadequate, if there is really such a thing as divine justice. The idea of a therapist using information given in strict confidentiality is far-fetched, not to mention illegal in most states. It is prohibited for a therapist or doctor to have any sexual relations with a patient or family member for 3 years after the doctor-patient relationship is finished. This therapist violated the law and could not only have her license revoked, she could be prosecuted. The story still needs an editor but I'm tired of pointing out the grammar and syntax errors. Even though I have reservations with the plot, I did like this part better and at least it resolves the situation.

Outstanding. And yes, unconventional. Very nicely written story line.

-- KK in Texas

That was the perfect ending. Finally, a story with a really "good" ending. How could you ever trust a liar once you have been lied to.

The ending was exactly the way I would haev liked it to be. Janice even thought that she was not going to take a lot because she would want to come back to a home. Janice got exactly what she deserved and Jim got exactly what he needed. And I love the daughter. Very nice job. I saw past errors in writing but those can always be corrected with practice. That's a hint. Keep writing. Maybe this needs one more chapter with family get together with the birth of a new child.

All to often, the children of a divorced couple are at the mercy of their parents, this was a delightful twist. In this case, the children took matters into their own hands to love and help their parents find love somewhere else. Thanks for the mostly happy ending.

Being green and glowing in the dark isn't too bad of a thing.It will save on the light bill. You still managed to punched a lot of key to write the story, and a very good story at that. I agree that it is a very different ending than I thought it would be, and I thought it was very fitting. Thanks for the story....Rich

While other see this and commented how it was poorly written, I found this a refreshing tale of just rewards. The final few sentenances told the real story as Janice started seeing her condo and all her worldly posessions for what she would be left with. She may have her family's love but she will never experience the happiness that would go with it. As suggested maybe a final chapter, say ten years in the future would be appropriate to end this tale.

Ouccchhhhhhhh. Great ending, She got what she deserve... finally

Once a cheating whore skank, always the cheat.--Jan was a want-a be rich bitch with a hot whore pussy.--Maybe she will ge AIDS and die a whore`s death.

It does not have to very congruent with our reality and in its own way it is internally coherent. I do like Jim, but I feel that Carol is in need of therapy. I really wish the author well. Keep sitting in front of that lightbulb!

I knew Janice would toss everything down the tubes when she went to work with that woman and she stashed that money away i truly hope Jim has a better life with Michelle.

I really like Jim hooking up with a sexy young thing and popping out some more rug rats - if they turn out half as good as Carol that would be good. I think Janice's character is one of the most, at best narcissistic, at worst pure evil, characters portrayed - right up there with Winterfrog's "Dragon" mother-in-law. The writing was sure confusing at times and CS needs an editor badly, however, the character development and plot twists and turns do make this a worthwhile read.

Like the story a lot in general, although whilst i don't think it should have permanently destroyed their relationships i think some mention of Jim's anger and him doing something about how everyone betrayed him by keeping his wife's betrayal from him should have been included.

Also i think the wife got let off too easy, throughout all the chapters everyone kept saying that although they were very mad at her they would never stop loving her. Whilst that may be true it kinda lessens the effect of everything bad said to or about the wife, especially the ending, when its followed by a "don't worry we all still love you"

The wife's last thought is about how she will grow old alone and miserable and then carol says she won't let that happen, which somewhat ruins the effect of surprising her with Jim's remarriage.

I would like to see oe final chapter where the baby is born and there is a family get together and the ex is there. And then take it out 10 years and she is still by herself.

Maybe it's just not your niche...Try Romance with no cheating. Your story makes no dramatic sense. Building all the tension of adultery with no consequences (the husband remarries does not count), keeping the husband in the dark, having the wife repeat her betrayal at the end - where do you come with that kind of ending? Have you achieved any kind of resolution to the main conflicts in the plot? Have any of the characters learned anything new about what happened to them in the past? I wish I could have found a positive answer to any of the above.

I enjoyed the story up to the last page or so, but after the apparent rehabilitation of Janice for 2 or 3 chapters, the sudden emotionless conversation in which Janice tells Jim she is leaving him and the take charge daughters revelation of fathers marriage to to Shelly and aside comment that daughter had intercepted mothers invitation to weding and apparent forged respsonse declining invitation the whole ending was too confusing for me.

60 year old George

Jim went through all this NEW pain for one reason and one reason only. CAROL.

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If Jim had found out about his whore wife when he got home from the hospital AND recovered his health... he would not be going through the shock of Janice quitting on him a 2nd time.

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Carol's twisted nefarious morally indefensible conspiracy could ONLY result in servere pain/hurt her father that Carol claimed to love so much.

One day Harry, I will know who you are. And then you will learn the meaning of beaten and raped. You fucking pig. I can't wait. Keep looking over your shoulder.

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Nice story though. A bit predictable, but entertaining non the less.

....maybe Harry goes off half-cocked a lot but in this case he is exactly correct,you big tough anonymous hypocrite. Carol's character has got to be the most twisted daughter type I've ever read about anywhere."I love you Mom"- (can I twist that knife a little deeper,mumsie?)This fucking story,while certainly gripping,was only so because the behaviors portrayed were so fucking bizarre it defies comprehension.These people would occupy the combined talents of the entire staff at Bellevue for an eternity were they real.And as fictional characters they serve only as objects of farce,in no way could anyone with at least one foot on the ground see this as an example of erotica.This writer put a lot of effort into the story but perhaps the experience was too taxing?-pistolpackinpetein hirammaine

The characters in this story and I mean ALL of them are poorly drawn and seem to act almost in a random fashion. Their motivation is suspect. "Jim" is a loser of the first order. I sure Saint Francis would applaud his self sacrificing nature but NO sales person, even one with an engineering background would be so hapless. One of the worst "cheating" stories I have read.

Castle: I agree a little with some of the commentators. In a few places the plot stretched credulity a bit, but not so much that it wrecked the story. What I liked about it was that you work with the very real life theme that involves the tension between our values and our passions. Why is it that so many of us seem to be unable to choose what we know is truly worthwhile over that ever present inner force that pulls us into destructive sexuality? I hope that someday we will find both the cure for cancer and the cure for that disease of the soul.... Until then, thanks for exploring the topic with us, your readers.

Whatever degree of incredulity, its ok with me. The silly wife proceeds, totally oblivious to her actions. People were disposable for her. It would seem her acting was up to par. Jim is put in a better and happier situation, and janice, very little sumpathy for her or her lot.

I liked the "gamma ray influence." It made the difference between what has become the boring ending, and a cheating bitch getting what she deserved. The best parts are 1) she brought it on herself, & 2) Jim simply lived a good life, which is the best revenge!

Second read through for me since you published this one. Although imaginable it would have been more satisfying to read alittle more of her final anguish BUT I do like ending a story with unresolved feelings and emotions. Being then being completely satisfied at the end of a story is too vanilla if you know what I mean

Over 100 changes of misspelling father and mother throughout. Misuse of sermons on adultery and faithfulness was hokey. Way too much sappy male character. Nice to seek children involved in the family as opposed to so many LW writers to whom the kids are only distant props.

Well done on the ending!

Did a Wonderful job on Mom.

It's surprising how Janice wants it both ways. She wants to cheat and have a husband out there earning money for her. She wants to get a divorce and she wants her husband hugging and comforting her. She got her divorce and went out with men but now she's bored and wants to come back to her ex-husband. It seems all she ever wanted was a husband to give her kids, then give her space to get fucked by loads of men, then take her back when she's done! Flipping ridiculous but that's life!

I wasn't too happy about the clueless dad or the bossy children... but I think it did play well into the story anyway. It's pretty disturbing but it worked as a story. I hate to see girls having to take on their mother's roles, bossing their mothers around. It's also sad, but there are too many clueless husbands... unless they are aware of things at a subconscious level and are just denying the clues because they don't want to ruin their world. It might be running on the knife edge but it is running nonetheless. I've read this story a few times over the past few years, and I like it... Thanks for the read

Great story, thoroughly enjoyed it. And I do like a happy ending!

why wifes always think that they r human and their husbands r lifeless creature. why they think that after divorce they go on dates and husband cry make his life worst.

just like them husband also have life. like them they can find new life-partner.

SEX is not everything there r also other thing in life that more important then SEX .every one learn that. some learn soon some very late. who learn sooner were live there life happily and who learn very late cry all there remaining life

i wanted to say something to these men whose wife cheat on them DONT CRY FOR THEM, DONT BECOME ALCOHOLIC OR MAKE YOUR LIFE WORST. SPEND YOUR LIFE GOOD WAY ONE DAY U WILL GET MUCH GOOD WIFE THEN UR EX WIFE.AND DONT TAKE UR WIFE BACK WHO DONT RESPECT U , WHO IS SHELLFISH BECAUSE IF U TAKE HER BACK ONE DAY SHE WILL HURT U AGAIN

A good story is always worth reading again...lost count

If you were going to put some old fashioned ass kicking in the story, "I feel" it was rather bland, but it is your story

Neat ending, pretty well describes life, maybe dress a bit nicer.

Some times a Significant Emotional Event will help people SEE better and change their ways..not always

I've just spent a fair chunk of time plowing through this story. Loved the twists, although in hindsight, I got the feeling you may not have known yourself where things were headed. The botched confrontation with Danny, his revelations and Janice's final betrayal were inspired.

Great characters. Janice is a confused, conflicted woman. You made her despicable and sympathetic. She seems sincere about wanting to reconcile with Jim - her conflict when visiting the hospital and her wanting to sleep next to him - but her selfishness and shallowness do her in. She is not a bad person, just a person who does bad things. Oh my god, three-dimensional cheating wives in LW stories! That said, I was quite happy to see her get hers in the end.

Enjoyed Mark & Ben; instead of being gay characters, they were characters who happened to be gay. Finally, Carol is bigger than life.

You have a lot of great characters who deserve more stories and whom I'd like to see again - even Janice. Have you considered taking a page from Rehquist or DQS, or AA Nemo on SOL, and using them in other stories?

Thanks again.

with Envy just like the B!tch Janice. I did'nt want too take too much in case i decided to give him another chance .

I would have enjoyed this story---- when I was 10y old.

This is just wanderings of immature mind. 2 stars.

Good read. A little more radiation please fry her even more

a good story, i am sorry to hear of this authors untimely death

Loving wives tales have got into a rut. They run on tramlines and authors post the same stores over and over again with just the names changed to protect the innocent.

Castlestone has tried to find a new variation - with the husband out of it and the child carrying the weight. A pity some "contributors" are too dumb to see it.

One fucked up story,one fucked up wife makes one shitie story.

A bit rushed to be sure - but she was the self absorbed bitch she started out as - there was no question when she went looking for more shit that she was doomed - the dealership was the clear finisher for her - fed the ego too much.

Like so many stories - and so many real people she waited too damn long to figure out she was the problem - and the world moved on and left her out - as it should have.

I hope comments about the loss of the author are pre-mature -

Some women have it - they think they are better than the people around them. It seems to be a particularly a problem of girls who grow up the prettiest girl around.

There are, of course, just as many men as women with an over-weening sense of entitlement - maybe someone will write stories about them.

I am pretty sure she has got what it takes.

And I hope that asshole slut Janice lives to a bitter old age and that her pussy lips grow together from lack of use. I hope she enjoys her expensive clothes and her slag men and the next time she gets a STD it rages until her female internal organs are eaten up. Not that I am bitter, I know it is just a story. Women like this just irritate the hell out of me. Good job, author!

Wonderful story. You are a brilliant author and you carried my in-depth interest till the (unfortunate) end. The rant at the end of the story made me chuckle out loud! I have always dreamed of being a writer but I am am bit discouraged by the competition. :)

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" I hope you liked it. I'm not sure I do."

You can expect to be disappointed. I was.

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...this story had everything and I really enjoyed it. Thank you. 5*

Excellent series. I almost wish this tale was still going. It was so good. Fucking worthless cunt was given the chance to redeem herself and she blew it. Carol said she would never let her dad get hurt and she didn't. Great tale with the best ending possible.

Five Stars

Great story. Very well written with an excellent ending.

scaring us with his visus words and bitching voice. Gave it a 5 dumbass and loved every fucking word. You should be banned!!!!!!!!!!!

Poorly written garbage.

Filled with deceit, betrayal and love. What a combination!

he kind of deserved the wife he married and facilitated. You try to accommodate shallow selfish cheating people, and you will get shallow selfish cheating treatment from them. Big surprise?

Thanks for illustrating what you get when you settle. Have to wonder how long the new wife will tolerate mister milk toast.

Yeah, we know about those light bulbs, now. I wonder who she will find as a therapist now. Maybe tall, dark and skanky too. Great story tho. GP

i believe the author is suffering a lack of radiation, buy a sun tan bed & replace the bulbs with which you wrote the story. ofcourse, janice faltered, because she accepted those conditions as from her pov she was coerced, so atleast this time she made a honourable choice to leave jim & then screw around.

you cant make a junkie quit cold turkey, unless of ones own volition.

holy shit, the story was supposed to be a loving wives story, i ended up falling in love with carrol, man i would gladly take a black eye or 2 from her for a kiss, damn if i ever find my carrol i will make her my reason to breathe.

This is a terrific story for a preteen, but you need to hire a really good writing tutor if you want to take up writing when you're more mature. The overall plot was pretty good, everything else was disaster except for spelling and grammar.

don't understand. so no one ever told the poor fuck of his wife sluttiness? and why the fuck did she leave him again?

these are just a couple of things to add to all the other nonsense in this childish story.

well, let's just hope that the rumors that this author is dead are true.

You really are a bona fide troll. 5 for a good story and helping with the score

That's what all cheaters (men and women) forget: "They will grow old alone and unhappy"!!! 3* for the ending

The whole thing is a patch job... a very bad one, at that. It's held together with a cheap Band-Aide with non-stick adhesive.

The one really good part of the whole thing was when they tried to bulldoze her fucker, Dan, and he busted them.... then told them his own personal story of how and who he got the Syphilis from and then called Janice exactly what she was in front of her ‘assistant muggers’ before ‘dismissing’ the three of them and walking away.

The last line... (((Carol was pulling on her hands. "Momma, Momma we love you. You will never be alone!"))) What a senseless piece of drivel. It had been just over a year and before she left, the whore siphoned off enough of the family's cash to buy and furnish a new condominium for herself, besides the new designer clothes she'd gone back to buying?? What the fuck is wrong with her daughter? She must be fucking brain dead to have any feelings other than contempt for the scumbag. The greedy cunt DESERVES to be TOLD that she's going to die alone.

Gave this story a 4. It was well written, had a great premise, made you ache for the husband. The whole series was filled with major time lapses, which is why I downgraded the story. Good work though. Thank you.

That has to be the most callus, insane, and just plain EVIL comment left by any despicable troll on this or any other website. It's obvious why you made it anonymously.

It could have been a good story.

But it was so all over the place.

It started off as a truly repentant cheating cunt vowing to earn back her family.

Then all of a sudden she morphs into this amoralistic, sociopathic, contemptible slut.

With so much disjointed shite between.

It was like this was written by three different people.

I lost complete interest about halfway thru.

But then you rewrote the cunt so different that I thought you were going to pull out a brain tumour diagnosis or something.

Like I said it could have been good, but as is 2 stars at most.

An entertaining story involving an unrealistic plot and characters.

Petered out very quickly. She left him, so why would her seeing him with another woman phase her? This had a good premise, cheating wife trying to make amends and realizes she really wants out, but it was poorly executed. And why is everyone still being so nice to her?

Despite some of you banging on about an unrealistic plot and shallow characters, it held the willing suspension of disbelief right to the end. Thats all you can ask of a FICTION story. Some people take themselves far too seriously. These tales are written to be read and enjoyed, not endlessly picked apart and analysed.

bit cheesy unrealistic and mixed up but enjoyed it anyway.

I tried. I read all 5 fucking chapters. I guess I must have a masochistic streak that has been well hidden up til now. I can't think of any other reason I kept at it other than I hate to leave anything unfinished. The story was all over the place. The characters were inconsistent, especially Janice. I just didn't like it.

The story jumps and drifts to much, and still at the end after all what Carol has said/done/threatened she still loves the bimbo keeping her in her life. This is where a supposedly very bright driven young lady shows once again what this type of shit happens - her logic is warped. To hell with mom long ago - I'd never given her a 2nd chance after +6yrs of neglect, +4lovers/STD, missed pick-up at the airport, and she screwed over the family finances.

Danny finally put some sanity back into this story... I get that Carol was young and immature - butttttt. As much as I love a BTB(s) - this took too long and was illogical. And sorry but daddy is one serious blind wimp to allow her this shit for +6yrs and more with no penalty. He empowered her allowing her to continue neglecting the kids - he needs help to set his values straight! I understand Ben is a limp wrist but rich but if he is so smart he sure did not prove it in this story. Ben trusted Janice - so he did not to use his money to keep a PI on her ass to see this last slam to Jim????

What a faithful brother?!@#$%^&.

Nope...the story just doesn't work!!!!

This a story was special. Like special bus special. It wandered, drifted, lacked a well executed plot. Still, for all that, it did have potential.

This works for CastleStone's intended audience of obese, worthless cunts.

This last part of the story stinks to high heaven! After she left, after the promises she made and didn't keep, her kids would have despised her.

The woman is truly "sick"! She needs more than a therapist, she needs to be institutionalized!

The first chapter was bad. But no problem, every chapter there after was even worse. I was going to read your second story, but couldn't bring myself to endure that misery once more.

Why that ending, marrying her theripist and now or Preggy. After being straighten out she goes back to being a cheater.

It took me a couple of readings to get that she walked out on her husband instead. I couldn't believe it -- she was as fake as ever, just having more sex with him than before! I thought that she really cared, but I guess her being the draw for high-end car sales renewed her soap opera diva illusions. It's satisfying though that, despite how painful it was, Jim found out the truth about her and about his own desirability and deservedly good reputation.

CastleStone

I am annoyed...no I'm angry at your tale's complete disintegration, when it began with much potential. You squandered a potentially interesting plot and virtually abandoned even the alternate reality in which you based your story. Jim was pretty two dimensional as a naive "saint" figure and it was impossible to comprehend how such a genius at closing international deals, could be thicker than pigshit when it came to dealing with his immediate family! Sorry, but I'm afraid I could find myself totally sympathetic with such a myopic tosser. Janice...well there was another beaut!

I don't know what possessed you to involve her in two dimetrically opposed roles ; one as the guilty penitent wife who has strayed big time, then the other as the villian of the peace who sticks the boot into recovering dumb as a box of hammers hubby and divorces him. It was like you had two slightly different plots in your head and decided to "glue" them together, no matter how much damage it did to your tale. I do not know if you were mentally coherent when you wrote the last page, where dutiful but annoying daughter Carol outlines to dear old mum how things have worked out so well for dumb schmuck Jim. What the fuck was all that we love you mum bullshit supposed to signify? I'm still scratching my head about those last few paragraphs. No! You as the author/creator of the tale don't get to wimp out of your responsibility to your readers with some throwaway line about gamma radiation! Own up to your own flawed work...you suffered a massive brain fart, and as a result left many of your readers at a complete loss as to what to make of this submission. Before submitting any future works, take some friendly advice...if you and several of your friends read the draft tale and it sounds like a pile of nonsense....rewrite the fucking thing and improve it.

Danny knew Janice was already a cheating slut - so its not like he really did any damage to the marrige

Jim is a cuck, not for accepting his wifes cheating, but for accepting the cheating of every other person in his life who claimed to care about him and helped the whore cover it up

She stole years of his life by being a bitch, and they all conspired to steal two years of his life by helping her continue to cover it up

And you gave no reason, illogical or otherwise as to why she left, let alone why she apparently thought she could ever go back

The pitchfork and the torch wielding are getting ready for a riot and a burning the way you utterly destroyed what was a good yarn up until the last part.

Maybe even weird.

So nonplussed by this chapter, that I did not rate it (previous chapter got 5 stars).

But I'll say this. I bet this story will linger in mind longer than those many cookie-cutter stories that proceeded it.

Paul in Oklahoma

With this story. I wonder how many more photos Google will let me post under under the search term "Cunt"? I hope there is one more space available for Janice. I thought she became the "perfect" wife way to easy, then she started the flirting at the new job. Then it was back to game on. No matter about the other comments I had fun, some of the best parts were the little quips and the authors little asides at the beginning and end. Signed: BTW

Why do they all still love Momma? She is a cheating whore, and an all round bitch. Why even acknowledge her again?

See above.

........ before deciding if it's worth reading. I didn't in this case and I'm so mad at myself.............. never again will I waste my time.

Too turgid for me.

That ever so soft and yet crisp feel of the break in the trigger as it's pulled..........then the report...........the slide slams back and a new shell is loaded.

This has to be the dumbest story ever written!

She is now a spinster with 20 cats

I would have changed the scene with Danny

I liked it, the scene at the Dumpster with Danny was odd at first, but by the time the story was finished I saw that it fit in perfectly with the story. I never suspected when Janice got the sales job at the car dealership, but should have, so it was a surprise when she left Jim. All in all I think it is a good story. Five thumbs up.

TRASH WASTED MY TIME DON'T BOTHER WRITING AGAIN

Pretty clearly a cheater all 6 years.

Leave the lamp on, maybe it prevent you from having the first reconciliation opps I mean train wreak from happening. If you haven’t noticed by now cuck stories never do well here. They really need to have a cuck category here so we don’t waste time on reading parts of stories headed for cucksville. Would really improve the stories in this genre.

Like your comments, I thought the ending sucked. First, supposedly she cheated for revenge and being hit with a martian slut gun. Then she supposedly recommits to the marriage because she understands how she was mistaken and never should have cheated. Then you just have her give up.

I feel like I wasted my time on this story, and it had such potential.

Oh well, more's the pity.

don't like the ending, the divorce part anyway. otherwise an interesting story

Unusual ending - quite iked it!

Thanks for the storey!

If she is suddenly screwing all thosee men again how can she expect her family not to know. Unless making the whole family clueless like some authors make their MC!?!

Carol should have kicked her mother's ass like she did the other crones after Janice left and divorced Jim after promising Carol that she be a good faithful wife and make it up to Jim for her cheating. As far Carol's last word to her mother; "Momma we love you".....she should have said...."Fuck you Momma, you're dead to all of us you selfish entitled bitch."