by Slirpuff
Fairly good story
Other discrepancies but
Why didn't he say that he WOUL go to OCS if he could get Great Lakes?
Good story. Well structured and good flow. On a personal note on the main character, I would write DUMB with a magic marker on the main character's forehead beginning in childhood all the way to the end
I MAY BE NITPICKING, BUT WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP USING "BABES" AS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT. IT'S IRRITATING & JUVENILE.
God I haven't heard that in a while. First time I was standing on the yellow footprints wondering what I had done to myself. Obviously you have been there. Hated that 12 weeks, I know in 61 it was 12 weeks, but now I fly my USMC flag from my front porch.
Enjoy your stories man. Like the way they are plotted out and the character development. When you write more I would be glad to help edit since I was an English teacher before I became a shrink.
now you have me remembering things. great stuff. im surprised, you really are improving. there are alot of writers in here who are stuck and just seems to re-write the same story over and over. even their characters have the same personality.
While I'm an active reader of your work, this has a better pace to the story line than most of your work. If a trancendence is in the making, I hope you make the leap - McFly. After all, should you whimp out or otherwise fail, perhaps Dr. Emmet & Jenny will bring you back in the nick of time.
Been there, done that! good writing, be interesting to see where you take us!
This can go anywhere from here and certainly has caught my interest.
Been there! done that! A good start, too bad there is so much reality involved.