Charlie Ch. 03

"Can you take the day off, Charlie?" Mandy asked. "I want to spend the day in bed."

"I can, but what about the girls? They will be up soon."

Mandy laughed a little "We can get the sitter back. I bet we can embarrass her with our noise."

I wasn't sure who would be more embarrassed with that. On the island Brigit was more laid back and had not said a word about hearing or even seeing us during sex. Our sitter was more conservative here and I'm not sure what she would tell the girls if they heard the noises.

"I can probably take a half day, but I think I need to go in later." I offered.

"Well, it was a thought. I guess you are right about the girls. Let's get a shower and see about getting them up." She answered.

We spent some time in the shower and Mandy was frisky even though my ability to get it up had ended several hours earlier. When we did get out we heard the girls running around waiting for us to come out of our own room.

I called the office while Mandy started breakfast, telling them that I would be in later today. After getting the girls dressed and situated playing in their room, we sat and had coffee together.

"Remember what you asked me a while back, Charlie? You wanted to know if you were losing me." Mandy started.

"I remember, but I'm hoping last night was the start of a new beginning for us. Let's not think about that concern." I answered.

"You know I love you and the girls more than anything..." Mandy started slowly.

"But??" I asked, uncertainty in my mind.

"Charlie, there is just so much out there to do and to see. I am not sure I can be just a common housewife and let all those things go." she blurted out in a rush.

I had seen the signs and in the back of my mind I knew it was coming, but sometimes one's mind refuses to believe what one's eyes see. I wasn't angry nor was I surprised and this in itself confused me. Somehow I managed to remain calm and just asked "what are you going to do?"

"I need to be out there. I can't just spend my life trapped here knowing how much I am missing. I want to be able to go where I want when I want and do what I want. I don't want to lose you, but right now I have to make a choice and I will follow my heart."

I sat looking at her, not knowing what to say.

"Charlie, say something. What are you thinking? Please don't hate me for this."

"I don't hate you, I never have. I didn't when you got pregnant and I don't now. I am just confused and need some time to think this through. Tell me what you want from me?" I offered, much more serenely than I would have expected considering the circumstances.

"I need to do all the things you have done, experience all the things you have experienced for myself. Please give me that much." She asked softly.

Mandy would not say the words but she was asking me to give her the resources she would need to go out on her own. I assume this meant that she was embarrassed enough to have to make this announcement and that saying the word 'money' would only add to her discomfort.

"I'll give you whatever you need. Let me know and I'll take a couple of days to get things sorted out."

"Thanks, Charlie. " Mandy said without a trace of emotion in her voice or on her face.

After the night we had spent together I had thought things would be better, but I knew now she was just trying to put me into a better mood for the news she had for me. I was numb and at a loss for what to do. I didn't want to stay in the house where our presence together was uncomfortable for each of us. Going into work might allow me to lose myself in something else, but I feared I would only let my emotions cloud my judgment and possibly screw up something important. I got my jacket and went out, walking around aimlessly. When I got back, Mandy was gone and the girls' day care provider was in the house, keeping them busy. I said hello and went into my office to ponder events and start things moving to give Mandy what she wanted.

I needed to sort out priorities and right now, my daughters were the first. I knew raising them in New York City would be difficult enough, but with only one parent available, I didn't think having them grow up in this city was the best option for them. I had work obligations and much of that involved meeting with clients and investors so I did have to be in the city. And what to do with Mandy and her new direction?

I hated to do it, but for now things would have to be unsettled. Mandy's parents had become much more accepting of me once the girls were born and we got along well. I would call and see if they could take the girls for a week or 2 until I could get things sorted out here. I wasn't looking forward to telling them about their daughter's decision, but doubted if Mandy would do that herself. I called Angie and asked if I could bring the girls down to stay for a week and she was thrilled to have them. I deferred telling her the reason, deciding it would be better done in person.

I next called my attorney and explained some of the situation to him. We were good friends and he knew Mandy from various social meetings. He offered his regrets at the way things seemed to be going. I needed to get some advice from him and to set other things in motion. I had initially thought that some type of 'tough love' approach might be best, refusing to give Mandy anything so she would change her mind and stay here with her family. My attorney was also in favor of that action, but I couldn't withhold anything from her. I knew she would find another way to do what she wanted if I tried to limit her choices and I didn't want that. The lawyer advised me that I was under no legal obligation to give her anything, we had never married. I had offered to marry Mandy but she refused, saying that I would always have that doubt in the back of my mind that she used the pregnancy and marriage as leverage to hold onto me. I didn't need a ring on my finger to show her I was hers, I gave her my heart freely and right now it was broken.

Maybe I should have taken more time to think things through, even more to let things settle in my mind. In the end, I decided to cut my ties here and to spend more time with my girls. I had more money than I could spend in a lifetime, so decided to gear down and start sliding into retirement. I sold 90% of my firm to several colleagues and partners, keeping 10% to stay involved. A number of our investors and clients were there due to my involvement in the organization and I knew they would flee if I sold out completely. The company was very profitable and I did not want any employees and friends out on the street because of my actions.

I had the necessary work done to change the ownership of my New York condo to Mandy, she could live there when she wasn't jetting around the world. I didn't see much sense in keeping the villa in France either, so took the same steps. I called Rene and asked him to continue to care for the place and to take care of Mandy when she was there. He was pretty perceptive, he guessed most of what happened and although I think he wasn't happy about my request, said he would do his best to see to things just as he had done for me in the past.

The only thing left was to settle what to do with Mandy. I didn't hate her, now or ever, just as I had told her many times in the past. Still, I felt confused and betrayed, wondering why she could not work things out with me before deciding to go out on her own. She had said she didn't want to be just a common housewife, but she was hardly that. We lived in a multi-million dollar condo in one of the best parts of town, we rubbed shoulders with the rich and famous, and we did many things the average person could not even comprehend. I still loved her, at least a part of me did. I finally decided to give her what I had given the girls when they were born. I had put $100 million into trust for each of them, theirs to have at 25. I had my attorney draw up an agreement and funded another trust with $100 million for Mandy to use as she wished. After all were signed and everything made official, I had left a large part of my life behind. I was still living in the condo with Mandy, although our schedules did not offer much time there together.

*****

I was flying down to Mobile with the girls belted firmly into their child safety seats. I knew I would be making this trip several times in the coming weeks and was starting to feel like the soccer mom who ferries her kids around in a minivan. Of course, I was using a G5 instead of the van but the thought was still there. I was bringing them to stay with their grandparents for a week until I could get some of the things in New York finished so I could start withdrawing myself from my former life. The girls had flown before, but in the past Mandy had been with me and could sit with them in the cabin as I flew. Now, they had to spend the trip by themselves, though they seemed to be sleeping by what I heard and saw looking back.

Once on the ground the fun began. I had to get the safety seats out so I could put them into the rental car. Fortunately they could walk and were not so rambunctious that they preferred staying together with me rather than wandering off as I struggled with seats and a bag for their clothes. At least I didn't have a diaper bag to deal with any more. We got to grandma's house and Angie and Rich were out the door to greet us as soon as I had stopped the car in the drive. After greeting the girls, they asked where Mandy was.

"I need to talk to you about that, but not in front of the girls." I replied.

My response did not evoke a happy reaction, Mandy's parents were worried by the tone and my mystery. We took everything into the house and Angie got the girls playing in the room they had spent time in whenever they were here to visit.

"OK, what is the problem?" Angie asked, always blunt and direct.

I was dreading telling them the news, but couldn't put it off.

"Mandy decided to go and find herself. She wants to do the things I did when I was younger and she apparently had decided we are less important to her than following her dream."

"She what????" Angie demanded.

"She told me she wants to be on her own to do the things she wants to do. She didn't say it, but I think having the girls to take care of was more than she wanted at the time."

"She just can't abandon you and her daughters." Rich said shocked by the events.

"What are you going to do? Can you make her listen? She has responsibilities and the girls need a mother." Angie said.

"I've tried talking to her, but right now she is adamant about doing this. I can kind of understand the thrill of what is out there, but she feels she has to experience it on her own."

As the words sunk in, we all slowed the talk and just let our feelings guide our thoughts.

"I hate to ask you, but can you take care of Danni and Denni for a week or so? I need to finish up some things in the city and can't really have them with me. I don't want to leave them with a sitter either. Once I have finished my work there, I will be finding a place to stay around here so we will be close to you. The city really isn't the best place to raise a child."

"Of course, we will look after them as long as necessary." Angie offered.

"Thanks, Angie. I want to be able to spend more time with them myself, especially now. I haven't told them about their mother yet and am not sure they will be able to understand, but I will do that before I leave to go back."

"Let us know what you need and we will do all we can to help. I am really sorry about this, we must have done something wrong the way we raised Mandy. She should know better than this." Her mother said softly, tears forming in her eyes.

She came over to me and hugged me tightly, offering her apology again. I told her it wasn't her fault, just a fluke of circumstances.

I told the girls about their mother after dinner that night. As I had guessed, they did not really understand the implications of what I was saying. I could see worry on their faces as I explained that Mandy was going away, but the worry did not last and soon they were back to joking with each other and more thrilled about being in grandma's house than what I had tried to explain. I flew back to New York the following day and would have to do a bit of commuting over the next several weeks.

Once I finished with everything I needed to do in the city, I had my personal things shipped to Mobile, where I had bought a house on the Eastern Shore of Mobile Bay. I found a nice 2 story brick home in a comfortable neighborhood that would be good for the girls to grow up in. If I needed to go to New York, I would rent a suite or stay in a hotel. Having to say goodbye to all the friends and colleagues from over the years was tough and many offered condolences to me and anger at Mandy's selfishness. I asked those to give her the benefit of the doubt, she was in a new world and needed to find her way. I would stay in touch by phone and in person when necessary, but I had moved my life far from the city where I had spent most of my professional career.

*****

Today was Danni's and Denni's fifth birthday. I was sitting here on the beach where it all had started several years ago. The girls were down by the water's edge, naked and tanned dark from many hours of playing in the sun. I watched as they chased each other around, each trying to throw the bucket of sea water she carried onto her sister. They had been doing this for some time and each was wet, having been on the receiving end of the other's attempt. I was ready for my swim so walked down to where they were playing and told them to stay out of trouble while I was gone. In unison, they said "OK, Daddy!" and without a word spoken between them, I saw the conspiratorial look they gave each other. I knew what was coming and right after the 2 buckets of water hit me, I went after them before they could turn and run. I grabbed each around the waist and carrying them under my arms, walked into the water where I dropped them in. they came up laughing and squealing, trying to splash more water on me. The girls were both water nymphs, but would not yet be capable enough to accompany me on my own swim. That day, however, would not be far off.

"You 2 stay out of trouble." I said, repeating my earlier admonition.

I dove in and started swimming, the water felt just as good today as it had the first time I swam here. I could use the time to go over my thoughts without interference from other events. I thought back to my life over the past 6 years and how it had changed. The biggest change was the addition of my 2 daughters, I loved them more each day. Even the way they were starting to resemble their mother did not lessen my love for them at all. I still felt some remorse about the way it ended and there was a small part of me that still loved her. I had come to peace with my life and even if Mandy came back, I don't think things could ever go back to the way they had been.

When we had split, she tried to call Danni and Denni from wherever she was at the time, sometimes Paris, or Rio, or Singapore. In the beginning, they would get excited at the sound of her voice as I held the phone to their ear, but as the calls became more infrequent, their excitement muted and soon they would listen without emotion. She had come back for Christmas and their birthday last year, but didn't make it this year. She had stayed with her parents and I was glad we were in our own house an hour away. I wouldn't have wanted to be there for that conversation. We had been civil to the other, but nothing more. The girls remembered her but were not as excited as she might have liked. She hadn't come back this Christmas, just sending a card for that day and cards for their birthday.

The girls would be starting school this fall, but we had been in St. marten for several months now, I found more peace here than anywhere else. We would be having cake and ice cream for their party tonight, Brigit had stayed the day to take care of the arrangements for me. I turned and headed back to land, my thoughts still wondering what had happened to Mandy and our life. I wondered if she had always had a materialistic streak and I had merely lit the fuse. More likely, I had brought her into my world unprepared and unable to cope with the lure of privilege, prestige and glamour that comes from the possession of wealth. I had been reevaluating my lifestyle when I met her and the first thing I did was to fly her to France for a dinner out, exactly the kind of thing I was trying to get away from. I couldn't blame her for falling victim, I had done the same thing early in my life. It took almost 20 years for my epiphany and I hoped Mandy would have one of her own much sooner. I didn't expect her to come back into my life, but I also hoped she would find happiness for herself in less time than it had taken for me.

As I neared the beach, I saw Danni and Denni still chasing each other with their buckets of water. I headed for the beach towel where Gina was sitting, nursing Charlie Junior. She looked up and smiled as I approached.

"Hey, little guy, save some of that for me!" I kidded as I sat down.

"Have you actually seen the size of these tits? I have enough to make us each a milkshake, even after he finishes." Gina laughed at my remark.

Now there was an interesting thought. I lay back and let the sun warm and dry me as I contemplated life.

When I first met Mandy, she thought I might have seen her as a backup for Gina, my second choice so to speak. She was wrong then and any thought that Gina was a second choice for me now was just as wrong. My first impression of her had been someone who was only interested in her own gratification and perhaps that was justified by her behavior. However, I noticed things about her that suggested she was not the selfish, wild person I had originally thought. She had been concerned with Mandy's well being from the first time she realized the 2 of us would be together and that concern had carried on throughout the years since. She had stayed in touch with both of us, particularly during Mandy's emotional roller coaster concerning the pregnancy and later with each of us as our relationship started deteriorating. She had been there, not judging, just offering her support and friendship. She had become even closer to Mandy than her sister Margot who had been Mandy's best friend.

Gina had changed her life, giving up the wild living and starting to settle herself into a more responsible person, centered and well grounded. She had returned to school and received a college degree in physical therapy. As much as she had been there for Mandy when she needed support, she had been there for me during my darkest hours. We talked together, cried together and she had offered me the emotional support I needed.

Once the girls and I had settled into our new home, Gina came over and helped to decorate it, she knew I was a complete novice with anything relating to style. The girls had taken to her easily, almost like a big sister. As we had become closer, I started to worry that the money and lifestyle I had enjoyed might be an attraction to her just as it had been to Mandy. I didn't have to worry, she sensed my concerns and offered to sign a pre-nup forgoing any assets I might have, even if we only stayed friends. I did not need to go this far, I knew deep down that she would be content to be part of my life regardless of how rich I may or may not be. The decision to wed had come easily and Gina told me she would be more than happy to be a common housewife to me. That would never happen, there was no way she could ever be common.

Gina had not lost her libido in the past few years, only learning to control it better. That fact was very obvious from the time we knew we would be together as lovers and we spent many happy hours in carnal bliss. Of course, the presence of Danni and Denni in the house meant that we had to be more reserved than we might want to be, but we managed. The birth of our son 6 months ago had not been due to any accident and we both couldn't have been happier to find her with child. The girls were looking forward to having a brother, someone they could gang up on as he grew. They had started calling Gina by her name or just mom, even though they knew she was not their birth mother.