Cheating - A Love Story Ch. 01

Then I asked the obvious question, "Do you love him?" She said, "GOD NO!!"

I said, "Then this was just a little entertainment on the side?" She looked like she didn't know how to answer that.

I said, "Look at it from my point of view. My wife, who I love more than life, has chosen to be unfaithful with a guy, who she can best describe as a human vibrator.

You have no idea how inadequate that makes me feel and more importantly how well you have communicated to me that our marriage is of no value to you."

She began to wail again. I had had enough of the hysterics and I was barely holding it together myself. I knew that it was critical for me to get out of there; if nothing more than to preserve my OWN sanity.

So I said, "I am not going to torture you with this. I think I have all of the information I need for the lawyer." At that, her wailing increased to fan-jet proportions.

I said we need some space to cool down so I am going to take the kids on a vacation for a couple of weeks and when I get back we can talk about what's next.

I added as gently as I could, "I want you to know that as far as I'm concerned nothing has changed. I still love your slutty ass. I will probably love it forever - forsaking all others.

But I don't think I can trust you or live with you as husband and wife. Unfortunately we have kids, so we have to find a way-forward that will not hurt them.

That's what I want both of us to think about while I am gone."

I got up to leave. As I did I said, "Oh by the way, tell lover-boy that I will be mailing the video to his wife as soon as I get on the train. I hope she is more understanding than I am."

I looked back and she was face down on the bed literally beating on the pillows. As I closed the door I had the totally inappropriate thought that, "She still has a delectable ass"

I was really in a difficult position. She was a wonderful wife and the woman of my dreams. That was a fact.

No matter what they say, seventeen years of feeling that way about somebody doesn't just evaporate; no matter what atrocities you catch her committing on any given Monday.

And in the balance of life; the sum of what we had built together outweighed the sights of the past half hour in the same proportion that a super-black hole would outweigh a pea.

So honestly, I probably would have reconciled with her on the spot, if it was possible for me to trust her.

Judge me as you wish, but that's the way I felt about her and our marriage. And I defy anybody who has had the same life-experiences to feel differently.

The deal breaker was that she had obviously LOVED every second of him fucking her. In my simple mind that was the Gordian knot. And I couldn't cut through it.

I was pretty sure that if she had cheated on me once, just for the thrill of a different cock, she would do it again. Then another horrible thought struck me. I had no certain knowledge that THIS was her only affair!!!

There were millions of ideas like that whirling around in my head. So please don't get the impression that I was sitting on the LIR looking and acting like a normal commuter.

I was a physical and emotional wreck. And the people on the train were avoiding me like I was the Unabomber muttering about world destruction.

I downloaded the clip to my I-pad for safe keeping. All of that Apple interoperability is a blessing. Then I looked up lover boy's cell phone and called.

He had seen that I was videoing them. So he knew what kind of leverage I had. I wanted the honest story.

He answered on the second ring. I said sarcastically, "Well-well-well." He said, "I'm SO, SO sorry." That incongruously struck me as funny.

I snickered and said, "I hear that a lot these days."

He said, "Before you ask, I was the one who started it. She is so beautiful and sensual that I just had to have her. It was an overwhelming compulsion.

Neither of us meant to hurt you, she said that she had never done anything like that before and she said that the guilt was killing her. She wanted to end it after the first time.

But I talked her into one more time, just so we would have closure."

This was getting absurd. I said with absolute incredulity, "Are you trying to tell me that I saw you two doing some kind of psycho-babble jungle fuck so that you could get each other out of your systems? Treat me with some respect. I'm not THAT stupid."

He said, "NO I swear it. I had to work hard to get her motor running the first time. We were just about done with the edits and it was late. So I suggested that I buy her dinner and we could come back and finish up.

I got her to drink a bottle of wine with me, and then most of another. I actually didn't have editing in mind.

We were alone on her floor when we got back, so I took my chance. I used every trick I knew to get her going.

She resisted at first but I kept working on her until I finally had her so fired up she didn't know what she was doing".

The devil on my other shoulder snorted and said, "Tres gallant for him to take all of the blame, but she didn't say no"

He said, "She was distraught when we finished." I actually laughed out loud. I said, "And even though she let you spread her legs on her office couch, you believe she has never done this before?" He said, "I swear on my mother's grave.

All she could talk about was how much she loved you and how afraid she was that you would be hurt. And I couldn't get her to do it again until I threatened to tell you."

He finished with, "We picked the Plaza to end it because I told her I needed something special to break it off."

That made up my mind in one respect. His wife was SOOOO going to get the whole movie.

I said conversationally, "Did you ever have a single thought about your three kids while you were plowing MY wife?

They are going to be VERY disappointed in daddy after YOUR wife sees this."

He said "GOD! PLEASE! NO!" Then he actually began to cry. He said, "I'll do anything".

I said, "Kind of know how my wife must have felt, huh?"

That's when it struck me that I had all that I needed. I still wanted her. That was the sad part. And I could live with her infidelity, if it was only this one instance.

I am a pragmatic and a very tough minded individual. And you would have to be a total fucking idiot to hit the delete button on the woman you were born to be with, over an affair this utterly pathetic.

But I had to be absolutely certain that it was over and that nothing like it would happen again.

So I said, "I just changed my mind. I am NOT going to ship this to your wife and Millie's boss, and the Principal at your school and anybody else I can think of.

I know that that would totally fuck up both of your lives and although I would do it to you in a heartbeat, I just love my wife too much."

"So I am going to hold onto this as a surety. And if I find out that you have been lying about any part of the story, including the part about Millie's so-called guilt, I am going to post the whole two minutes of high-definition video on every internet site that will accept it. Then I am going to contact my lawyer and sue YOU for alienation of affection. Is that clear?"

He said, "Completely, and thank you."

I said, "So is there any part of your story you want to change? The whole thing will eventually come out you know?" He said, "GOD HELP ME I SWEAR IT." He was sincere. I knew it.

I said," I will not hear from you again and you will never speak to my wife." Then oddly, I added with some passing regret, "You could have been a decent writer." I was going to make sure that he was totally dead in this business.

I had the big picture now. She had slipped. That was for certain. But it looked like it was a one-time thing and under heavy pressure for that matter.

I was ready to forgive and forget. But I felt like we had to firewall the situation, in order to rebuild our fundamental bond as husband and wife.

THAT bond was trashed the moment she stepped on that elevator in the Plaza. Accordingly, I knew that I couldn't just welcome her back without taking some kind of affirmative step to draw the boundary that said, "Our new life begins here".

And I will also admit that I wanted a small piece of her hide for cheating on me. You don't have to tell me. I already know that part was petty and mean. But I needed it to move forward. I'm human.

I knew what two weeks without seeing me or her kids would be an extremely painful lesson about the consequences of fucking around.

So when the kids got home from school I was waiting for them. I said, "How about we three take a little family vacation to Ireland for a couple of weeks?"

They were thrilled. Both Millie and I are of Irish extraction and the kids have wanted to go there since they were little.

I told them to go pack and we would stay in a motel by JFK in order to be prepared for the flight.

I mainly wanted to get all of us out of the house as fast as I could, in case she came home. THAT was something that I was not equipped to deal with. And I also wanted to avoid any emotional confrontations in front of the kids.

They both said, "Is mom coming?" I said, "No she has to work but you will see her when we get back."

Then I made a few stops on the internet setting up the tickets and the hotel and calling the school. We left the house two hours later.

Both kids were excited and happy. Millie had not made an appearance. But I kind of expected that. I knew it would take some time for her to recover. And I was sure that she was as much afraid of confronting me, as I was of dealing with her.

That night at the JFK Marriott I checked my e-mail. By the timestamp she must have composed it on her laptop right after I left the room.

It said, "I love you. I know how much I have hurt you and I can't express how sorry I am. I wish I had been stronger. But I failed both of us.

I know that I am not as young and pretty as I used to be. And when an attractive young man started pushing my buttons, he finally pushed enough of them that I gave in.

I know that I can't un-ring that bell. What can I say in my defense, except that I was very drunk, pathetically naive and heartbreakingly weak?

I was so upset afterward that I almost threw up. I made him swear it would never happen again. But he told me that the only way he could end it would be in a place where we could really make love.

He said he would walk away if he got to experience the total unrestrained ME.

I felt like I was trapped and the only way I could get out of that trap was to meet his demands. I knew that the fait-accompli of my already straying would hurt you and I wanted to avoid that at all costs.

So in my arrogance I decided to do as he demanded rather than simply tell you. The whole ghastly affair was just too embarrassing to admit and I was praying that you would never find out.

Let me add. I am nowhere near as naïve as I was a month ago. I am aware that he might have tried to blackmail me again. And I was resolved to finally tell you if he did.

But I wanted to take one last chance to make it right.

I am pledged to be brutally honest now. There will never be any secrets between us again. So I have to admit to you that I absolutely and unreservedly enjoyed the sex you witnessed. I love to fuck. You know that. But what you saw was no different than what I have felt with you thousands of times, for 17 wonderful years.

However, NOW I know what it feels like to lose everything just by scratching a stupid human itch. And I will NEVER let myself wander close to THAT cliff again.

I pledge my eternal fidelity to YOU because I DO know what the consequences are.

I love you and I swear that I will spend the rest of my life making up for the scene you just witnessed. Please, please, please don't leave me. I can't bear to be without you."

I composed a return e-mail.

It said, "I love you and I already miss you. You are, and always will be my wife and best friend and I want us to be together as much as you want us to be.

But your cheating destroyed the bond of trust between us. So if you want this marriage to work again, we are going to have to rebuild our fundamental faith in each other from the ground up.

The kids and I will be gone for two weeks. That was the length of time of your affair. When we get back I would like us to start over again as total strangers.

Then, hopefully we can remake our marriage one brick at a time. I absolutely commit myself to doing that. I fell in love with you once and I am going to learn to love you all over again.

If you agree to those terms I will see you in two weeks. Needless to say, this is your one and only free pass."

We had a wonderful time in the Old Country. We toured Dublin and Cork and went up to Galway, which is where the family was from. Then we flew back to JFK, with both kids looking like bad caricatures of the Notre Dame mascot.

I had not talked to her in the entire two weeks. I think the kids called her but they never mentioned it. I DID tell her about our arrival time, in a text that I sent from Shannon Airport.

I was not sure whether she would drive all the way down to JFK but as soon as we cleared customs I saw her standing there. She looked totally and unequivocally nervous. She had clearly lost weight and she was very pale.

She was wearing a plain black skirt and four inch heels. It did wonderful things to her hips and legs. She was wearing a simple white frilly blouse with those wondrous tits pushing out the front. She was freshly scrubbed, made up and her hair was loose around her face. She was a truly beautiful woman.

The kids cannoned into her like twin wrecking balls. I stood back while she hugged and kissed both of them. She used to have to squat down to do that. Now they are both almost her height.

They headed off on their own to claim our bags. Fifteen year old Jason was in charge. He had become quite the man of the world during our adventure.

She turned toward me. She looked tentative, shy and very frightened.

I could see that she was barely holding it together. And that she was one mean word away from completely breaking down.

She was my wife and I loved her. I wanted this to work as much as she did. So I took both of her hands, pulled her to me and hugged her.

I whispered in her ear, "You look absolutely beautiful. I have missed you more than I can express and I'm the guy with all of the words." That DID get a sob, which she muffled against my shoulder.

I waited until the shaking stopped and then pushed her back. I looked into that much adored face and said quizzically, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

She looked puzzled, then amused. She said, "You don't know me. I lost my husband. But I plan to find a new one who I will love with all of the passion my soul is capable of giving. Are you interested in applying for the job stranger?"

I said, "That depends on whether you want a long-term exclusive relationship with just one man."

She said, "I had some experience with cheating in the past. I am a lot older and wiser now and I have learned a very profound lesson.

So I will devote the rest of my life to proving to the man I am married to that I am his and his only, until death do us part."

I said, "Well you sound like somebody I could spend some time with and get to know better. How would you like to come to my place tonight? I have two wonderful kids who would love to tell you about their adventures on the Ould Sod.

And maybe if we are feeling really romantic you might even stay over. We have to nurture this new relationship and the best way that two strangers can get to know each other is by spending a lot of time together."

She grabbed me and squashed those magnificent tits on my chest. She said, "Well then let's get the nurturing started because this new relationship is definitely going to work."

Then she kissed me with all of the sheer longing and despair she must have felt over the past two weeks.

I know that some of you think that I should have beaten her at this point and then walked away, if only to assert my male dominance.

But this story was NOT written for adolescent guys and their fragile egos. It is about deep mature love between a man and a woman.

And it is about two people and the choices they make for better or worse.

Who knows? If I had NOT heard the name "Jack" things might have worked out exactly as Millie had planned. And I would have not had to make the decision that I made.

But instead I was forced to make a choice, which in retrospect was actually a very easy one.

I chose to lead a happy and fulfilling life with the only woman who I have ever loved. And that decision was one that I KNEW I had gotten right.