All Comments on 'Cloud Nine Ch. 01'

The lack of quotation marks where characters speak made this story too difficult to read. I started and quickly had to stop. Please insert quotation marks where characters are speaking out loud at least.

Maybe there were quotes and they were lost in file translation, or there was some other method of distinguishing spoken words from the rest of the story, but they seem to be lost (at least on my screen.)

Its not your computer. As you said the quotation marks might have been removed during submission. It is almost impossible to read without quotation marks. I stopped after about 3 or 4 paragraphs. This should have been edited by someone other then the author, or if it was, don't use that person again. If you left them out, this is basic english to use quotation marks.

Count me among the readers who were unable to make it past a few paragraphs before having to stop. The lack of distinction between dialog and regular text proved far too much of a distraction, pulling the reader out of the flow of the story and destroying the immersion experience. Every time someone has to stop to figure out what you meant by what you wrote, it kills the flow of the story. Maybe try resubmitting it with quotation marks or something to let people know what text is dialog and what isn't. Good luck.

As with others, I cannot read your story because the lack of dialogue quotes makes it too confusing. That's one of the most basic formats; work on it and we'll all revisit what looks like a promising story.

You told the story pretty well, but I agree that you do need to use quotation marks AND you need to reread the story before submitting it, even asking an editor to check it before submitting it. There were some simple mistakes that spell checker would ignore, word usage mistakes like her instead of him (unless her brother was a he/she), and a few past/present/future tense mistakes that simply jumped out. The story was still good and I feel that you are a good enough writer to make up for the mistakes with your story. Keep writing!

Not bad, Quotes would go a long way to making this better. An editor would also go a long way to make this from a 'fair to good'.

like most of the loser writers on this site you can't seem to put your story in the proper area it belongs in the "BDSM" area not incest as soon as it got to the bdsm i stopped reading because it ruined the story if i wanted a bdsm story i would have gone there not here bdsm is never acceptable anywhere except in that catagory

Your story is hard to understand because it lacks format. Start over.

Very nice I want more