Cold Rain - Wichita

FINDING LOVE

Alina started tutoring the kids and we saw each other regularly. Alina was totally in love with the kids but ever since Christmas she seemed somewhat standoffish -- but then I must have seemed that way to her also.

After two weeks the children seemed to really be doing great, especially Anna. One day in mid-January as Alina was getting ready to leave she came into the den where I was catnapping. I woke from a shallow sleep to feel her hands massaging my neck and shoulders. When she felt me move she continued for a minute, and then whispered in my ear, "Manny is not my boyfriend. He was my coach when I was playing. We had both thought we would be alone for Christmas so we were planning on going out to dinner."

I felt her lean over and kiss my rudimentary bald spot and then she was gone. I sat there thinking about what she had said and drifted back to sleep. When I woke up it seemed that her visit had been part of a dream so I went into the bathroom and looked at the top of my head. Sure enough there was a smudge of lipstick on my fifty-cent circle where my head was "hair-challenged."

I never saw anything of Manny again and it didn't break my heart. Alina and I were gradually becoming closer -- our common love of the kids would make that happen but my sense was that there was some level of interest in each other.

Alina came to me one afternoon in late January before she left for her apartment.

"Ben, you know I graduate in June. My only chance of staying past that is if I can get a job with a company that can get me a work visa. The thing," here she had tears in her eyes, "is that I'll have to take a job wherever I find it. The two companies that seem the most interested are in Burbank and St. Louis."

The next day at work I went in to talk to the VP in charge of our engineering group, Tom Spivey, and told him about Alina. He'd worked with the engineering department at Wichita State and knew Bill well.

"Leave it to me, Ben. I'll let you know what happens."

About a week later I saw Alina in Tom's office talking to him. I saw her in a conference room talking to several managers and a couple of the engineers, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her -- just a wave as I walked by the office. I talked to her that night and she seemed optimistic.

The next week Tom came to me. "I don't have the headcount to do anything now but I can bring in three or four summer interns. We expect to get an upswing in orders over the summer and I should be able to make a hire. If nothing else, Arnold is retiring in August.

"We like her a lot. She is very bright and interviews well. Maybe it was playing tennis competitively but she has a lot of self-confidence.

Alina did get an offer for St. Louis but she took the internship at Beech, "I really want to stay here in Wichita. I'm totally in love with Anna and Pasha and I think they need me for a while." She looked away for a bit and then looked at me again. "Ben … I, well I kind of like you too."

I gave her a hug but didn't say anything. We were spending more time together and I was pretty sure that what I felt for her was love. I knew she liked me, but just how much?

As we moved into April the weather warmed up and we started going on picnics or rides in the country. In early June Alina graduated and mom and dad, the kids and I all went to the ceremony. I was really proud of her. We threw a big party and a lot of people from the school attended.

The following week she started at Beech and after a couple of weeks they didn't even pretend that she was an intern. She impressed everyone she worked with and fit into her team quite well. Her office was in the next building from mine but we were able to see each other a couple times a day -- usually eating lunch together. Occasionally we were in meetings together but we made no effort to sit together.

Shortly after that mom came to me and said they would have to go home in September and that they had already been gone too long. I gave it some thought and decided to talk to Alina about the idea I'd had before about getting married so I could adopt the kids and she could get her permanent resident visa.

I was excited about the idea, even though I knew it was illegal. It would solve our problems. We liked each other and should be able to live together without friction. She could take over the bedroom that mom and dad were using.

I took her out to lunch the next Sunday and then to Lake Afton so we could talk with no one around. We sat at a picnic table and I explained to Alina what I thought was a great idea and explained how it would work. She asked a couple of questions but was looking more and more troubled. Finally I asked her what she thought.

"Ben, I know it would solve our problems, but I can't do it. I … I just can't."

She got up and ran to my Range Rover. I was stunned. I sat there a long time trying to understand. I thought I had everything figured out -- it was all just so damn logical! Finally I got up and walked over to the Range Rover and got in.

I sat there quietly for a minute and then turned to Alina, "Why? Can you tell me why? What about the kids? What about me?"

She started crying and turned to the window. I started off fast throwing gravel behind me but cooled off as I got on the road home. About half way there Alina stopped crying and put her hand on my arm. I knew she wanted me to look at her but I stubbornly looked straight ahead. She finally took her hand away and looked out the window the rest of the way.

When we got to my little ranch I got out and opened her door without thinking. I guess my mom had drummed some things into my head that took. I put my hand out to help her down but then she kept a tight hold of it and dragged me towards the barn. I stood there for a bit, fighting it, but then went with her out of curiosity.

She stopped in front of the stall for a new colt that had been born about a month previously. We stood there for a while, neither of us talking, just watching the small, miniature colt. Finally she took my arm and looked at me.

"Ben, marriage means a lot to me and I only want to get married once and I want it to last forever. I want a man that loves me, will treat me with care and respect. I want children of my own and I want to see them lead their own lives and I want a man I can grow old with.

"Ben, I can't do what you want because I love you. I don't want a marriage of convenience. I don't want to sleep in the guest room; I want to sleep in your bed. Now, if you love me like I think you do, please ask me again and make me believe you want the same things I do."

Talk about totally misreading the situation! I felt like the name of one of my favorite country groups, "Asleep at the Wheel." Yeah, that's me, asleep at the wheel.

I pulled her close, smelling the uniqueness of her body, of her hair. I pulled her tight against my body, maybe trying to show her by touch that yes … I did love her the way she wanted. I whispered in her ear the sweet somethings and nothings of love. It must have been the right thing because she started crying and holding me tight. She felt good, she felt right.

Later that evening after we told my folks, we sat out on the porch, talking. "Ben, I know you've been married and I'm okay with that. But you need to know I'm not very experienced." She blushed, and continued, "Actually I don't have any experience. I've never been with a man."

I smiled at her and gave her a hug, "I think I can live with that."

Alina wanted to get married in her church so we made an appointment with Bishop Basil and worked out that we could get married the last week of August. There were a few things that had to happen. He wanted us to come to him for six weeks for premarital counseling.

Eileen hadn't been Catholic and didn't want to get married in my church so we had just gone to Las Vegas for the wedding and honeymoon. But since I had been married we had to get the Metropolitan Archbishop's permission to marry in the Orthodox Church. In addition the best man and the maid of honor had to be Orthodox Christian. Alina was no problem, one of her best friends was from Russia and a language teacher at WSU, and so the maid of honor was taken care of.

Bishop Basil introduced me to a test pilot at Beech that was a member of his church. We hit it off well and he agreed to be my best man. He and his wife later became close friends of ours.

I talked to my lawyer and turned him loose on getting a green card for Alina after the marriage. We had to jump through a bunch of hoops but we got it done. Alina did have to work at Beech for a year on a H1B but eventually got her green card and later she became a citizen.

We started on the adoption papers right after the wedding. Again, there were a lot of hassles but eventually it worked out.

We went to San Francisco for our honeymoon -- it was a special time for us. Alina was everything I could have hoped for as a woman and as a wife. She was a bit thin for her height but I found plenty of curves to hold on to. She seemed more that satisfied with me and I quickly became a firm believer in marriage again.

What started as a tragic scene of two kids stranded in the rain became a family that lived life to the fullest and remained close. Anna and Pasha had learned enough English to start school that fall after our wedding. Over the next few years Alina had our own children, twin girls and a boy, and decided to stay at home. I have to think that Anna and Pasha and our own three were raised under an umbrella of love that few children are blessed with.

These many years later, with the children moved out but close by, the love that Alina and I share continues with unabated passion.

EPILOG

A few months after our wedding, Joe Cates from the County Sheriff's office gave me a call.

"Hey, Ben. Can you meet me at that tavern near 127^th and Webb Road? There's some things I can't tell you but I've been know to talk to my beer when someone else buys it."

We chatted for a bit then set a time and day.

After the first two beers I brought him got me nothing more than whining about his job and his marriage, I tried getting the next one with a bourbon chaser. That seemed to do the trick quite nicely.

"The Chicago police arrested a man named Kirill Aleksashkin the same day you took those kids home from the Newton train station. They got a tip from the conductor. It seems he had seen something he wasn't supposed to. They found Ludmila Serova dead in a first class sleeping compartment … with her throat cut wide open.

"Kirill opened up like a parrot after being offered a plea bargain. With his testimony and the letter you gave me, the feds were able to put some stakeouts and wiretaps in place. They eventually rolled up the whole gang, including a branch in New York City near Coney Island."

I bought him a couple more drinks and drove on home, feeling sad for all that had happened to Anna and Pasha's mother. I felt good that the bad guys got caught for once but at the same time I knew someone else would take their place Eventually criminals like that will be replaced because venality is all too often a part of the human experience.