Coming Home

She got another round of comments about her dress, and said, "Yeah, I know, I was in town for the night, ha ha."

"You should have taken a change of clothes," her mum said, behind her.

"I know, but I didn't, and it doesn't really matter."

Kelly had come in too.

"Hey," Bec said to her, pointing to Rob. "That's yours, entertain him. I'm off to get clean."

*

Bec had a shower and changed into farm clothes, and then went to look for people. Kelly was in the kitchen with their mother, and Rob was in the lounge with everyone else. Rob looked uncomfortable, listening politely, but he would only know Bec and Kelly's dad in the room, and was probably still wondering if he should be there at all. Right now he must think his chances with Kelly were pretty small, Bec thought.

Bec went into the kitchen and said, "What are we doing about Rob's car?"

Kelly and her mum both looked at her, but neither seemed to want to answer.

"One of us should tow him to the highway," Bec said. She looked at Kelly. "Then bring him back here."

"Won't he need to go with the car?" Kelly said.

"I don't think you can ride along in a tow truck, can you?" Bec said. "Like health and safety and shit."

Kelly shrugged.

"We can drop him in town later," Bec said.

Kelly seemed to be trying to ignore her. Their mother was cooking, which meant she was thinking about that and not really paying attention to anything else that was said.

"If you actually want him to stay," Bec said to Kelly. "I mean, if you don't..."

Kelly didn't answer.

"Do you?" Bec said.

"I don't care."

"So why did you ask him to come out here, then?" Bec said.

Kelly shrugged again, and looked annoyed. Bec supposed he'd asked Rob because she'd been pissed but didn't want to admit that in front their mum.

"You should give him a lift," Bec said.

No answer.

"Or I can," Bec said. "If no-one else wants to."

More annoyed glares from Kelly, a disinterested glance from their mother.

"Okay," Bec said. "So I'll go. Fine."

"Whatever you want," Kelly said.

"I'm going," Bec said. "We'll be back later, I guess."

"So go," Kelly said.

"Fucking weirdo," Bec said under her breath, as she left the room.

"Hey..." their mother said, behind her.

Their mother heard that, but nothing else, Bec thought.

She went back into the lounge and said to Rob, "Hey, you're with me. We'll go get your car."

Rob stood up. Trying not to look relieved, Bec thought.

*

Bec drove Rob back to his car. She drove fast enough he held onto the plastic handle above the door the entire way, and she was quite pleased by that. She grinned at him now and then, grinned just long enough make him look forward at the road a little nervously each time she did.

She'd had a fair bit of time to work out how to worry her passengers, driving out here.

"So," Bec said. "That was awkward."

Rob didn't say anything.

"With Kelly."

"I understood."

"So nothing's going on with Kelly?" Bec said.

"I don't think so, no."

"So what do you want to be going on?"

He didn't answer.

"Something?" Bec said.

"Yeah."

"Enough of a thing you shouldn't be thinking about my tits right now?" Bec said.

Still no answer.

"So I have a terrible feeling that's a yes," Bec said.

"Probably," Rob said.

"Maybe one or the other of us, mate. Not both."

Bec was teasing him because it made her feel less stupid for having flashed him in the first place, and because she wanted to remind him she might do it again, because she liked the way he looked at her when she did.

"I mean it," Bec said, and changed gear, slowed down as she passed the washed out road edge the council hadn't fixed yet. "Just don't, okay?"

"I won't."

"Good."

She glanced over, and Rob smiled. Like maybe this was becoming funny, a joke they could share.

Part of Bec wanted to strip completely naked, to show him everything she had. She didn't really know why, other than the crush from years ago. Or perhaps to annoy Kelly, although that wasn't very nice.

Bec didn't know what to make of this. She wasn't being herself, but she almost liked this new, pushy her.

They reached Rob's car, and Bec backed up in front of it and got out. She took a towing strap out one of the boxes in the back of the truck, and lay down on her back, on the grass beside the road, to find the rental car's tow points.

"Feel like a real man now?" she said from underneath the car. "Helping me out and all?"

He knelt down. "Sorry," he said. "Let me."

It took her a moment to realize he was serious. "Shit," she said. "I was just having you on."

He looked at her.

"Seriously," she said. "Since I'm guessing you don't know what you're doing anyway?"

He hesitated, so she picked up the end of the strap that would attach to her pickup, and said, "Hold that." Just so he had something to do.

He held it.

She clipped the other end to his car's tow points, then slid out and fastened the strap to her truck.

Then stopped, and wondered if she needed to tell Rob how to be towed. She shouldn't, since he was local and ought to know something like that, but he was local from town, and had been away a long time, and really didn't seem to know very much.

She decided not to, and just said, "Sorry about the dust. You're not going to be able to see much."

Partly because she hoped he'd say if not being able to see made him nervous, and then she could explain about towing.

He just nodded, so she assumed he was fine.

"And try not to run into the back of me," she said, as she got in the truck.

She drove more slowly, back to the highway, and kept an eye on Rob in the mirror. She thought about how to organize the car while they drove. When they reached the highway, she pulled out across it, did a big slow turn, and went back into the start of her own road. She stopped facing away from the highway, with the rental car not completely on the grass verge. So it would look like Rob had broken down, and pulled over into the first side-road in a bit of a panic, and rolled a little before he came to a halt. She was proud of her deviousness.

She got out and walked back to the car.

"Yeah," Rob said. "I hadn't thought of that."

"I only did just then."

Rob phoned the rental company, and Bec sat beside him in the car, with the door open and her feet outside, and listened. Cars whined past occasionally and sent waves of hot air over her, and a few flies were hanging around. She listened to Rob talk, and decided the story was working.

He said his car had broken down, and then yes and a few nos. Was he safe, she assumed. Did he crash it, drive it on dirt, let a mate steal it for the insurance.

Rob kept listening, and not saying much. Like was getting told off, Bec thought. After a while he got a bit snotty, enough she would have thought he was a bit of an asshole if she hadn't known he was only pretending. He said his plans were ruined, that he was stuck in the middle of nowhere, and that their car was a piece of shit they had no right to try and rent out, and he was just glad it had stopped where it did, with a side-road to pull into, and not just in the middle of the highway where the whole thing would be much worse. He sounded angry, like he really was a mistreated customer, and Bec was actually impressed.

It seemed to impress the call centre staff too. About then Rob started saying, "That's all right," and, "I know, but don't worry," like someone was apologizing.

Everyone seemed to have decided what had happened. Rob asked Bec if she could drop him in town later on.

She nodded.

He listened a bit more, then said thanks and hung up. Then looked over at Bec and grinned, and looked relieved.

"They believed all that shit?" Bec said.

"Seemed to."

"You're pretty good," Bec said. "Kind of sneak. Acting all outraged that the car broke down."

Rob kept grinning.

"I shouldn't be impressed," Bec said. "But I am."

More grinning.

"Did you lie like that to Kelly?" Bec said, just to see what he'd do.

"No," he said, and got flustered. "That was years ago..."

He started to blush again.

"Shit, calm down. I don't care," Bec said.

He looked at her, then smiled a bit, like he'd started to understand when she was teasing. "I'm supposed to wait for the tow truck," he said. "They said no more than an hour."

"Yeah, no worries."

"You can go if you want. I'll be fine from here. I can get a ride back to town with the tow truck guy."

"Don't be stupid," Bec said.

"You don't have to stay."

"Of course I'm staying. Idiot."

A silence. Then Rob said, "Only if you don't mind waiting."

"I'll wait," Bec said. "If you want me to. It's fine. And take you back to town later, even if Kelly won't."

Rob didn't seem sure.

"You should visit if you want to visit," Bec said. "Seriously."

"I don't know."

"Well I want to see you for a bit, even if Kel doesn't. It's been fucking ages. And mum and dad probably do too."

Rob thought about that.

"Shit," Bec said. "It's just easier, while you're out here anyway."

"Yeah," he said finally. "All right."

"And it's a laugh seeing you and Kelly all weird around each other," Bec said. "That's worth waiting here a bit for."

"Yeah," Rob said. "Thanks."

"No problem. I almost want to fuck you or something just to make it even more awkward."

Rob didn't answer.

"Maybe I should," Bec said, just to see what he'd do.

He blushed again. He looked really uncomfortable, and Bec decided that might have been going too far. Her having her tits out, earlier, was still floating around between them. And also how he was her sister's ex, and the crush, and her being grown up now. It couldn't not be there, something they were both aware of because it was such an obvious thing. And it was kind of sexy , Bec thought, because it would be so wrong to fuck one of Kelly's exes. As long as Kelly never found out.

So maybe now Rob thought she really wanted to, Bec thought. And maybe she actually did. Or maybe she was just bored and talking shit. She wasn't completely sure herself.

She decided everything was getting unbearably awkward, and she should stop. She had to sort out the tow straps anyway. She got out of the car, and undid the towing gear, and threw it into the back of her pickup. Then she kicked some dirt up at the rental car's tow brackets so they didn't look all rubbed clean and shiny. She moved the truck, parked it under a tree. There was a clump of them at the corner, planted for shade so long ago it had probably been for horses. She left the doors of the pickup open, and went back to the passenger seat of the rental car.

"Turn the engine on," Bec said, and when Rob did she fiddled with the air conditioning controls to make it as cold as possible. "Might as well use their petrol as mine," she said. "Since I don't think they'll make a fuss about getting it back with a half-full tank."

They sat there for a while without talking. Rob was probably worrying she was going to jump him, Bec thought.

She hooked her arms around the back of the headrest, let the cold air blow up the insides of her arms. She lifted one foot and tried to balance it against the vent so the air went up her jeans leg, but it didn't really work. Farm jeans were a bit tight.

She had her eyes closed. She thought Rob was probably looking at her, but she didn't really care.

"I had this terrible crush on you when I was twelve," Bec said.

"I know."

She opened her eyes. "Really?"

"Ah, yeah. It was kind of obvious. This little kid following me everywhere, trying to give me things and get me drinks..."

"Yeah. Suppose."

Neither of them spoke for a while.

"Are you really still out here because you want to be?" Rob said. "Here at the farm?"

"As opposed to stuck and can't get away?"

He shrugged.

"Maybe," she said. "In a way. The farm has a lot of debt."

"How much?"

"A lot. So much I have to hang around, so later I look like I know what I'm doing."

He thought about that. "I don't understand."

"So when mum and dad die I can refinance and keep the place."

"Are they sick or something?" He sounded worried.

"Nah, nothing like that. Just for when it happens. Planning ahead."

"Oh."

"The place has been in our family for seven generations. I'm not going to be the one who loses it."

"What about Kelly?"

"She's got her life."

Silence for a moment. Bec leaned back on the headrest and looked out at the hot landscape. Looked at trees and sheep and dusty grass, and thought about being out here forever.

"Come on," Bec said. "You know Kel. She's the fun one. She's no help for this. She'd get bored and piss off after a week or two."

"I suppose."

"So it's all on me."

Silence again. Bec was fairly sure Rob was looking at her.

"Fuck," Bec said, without opening her eyes. "Don't look like that."

"Like what?"

"Sympathy or whatever."

"Sorry," he said, so he must have been.

"It's fine," Bec said. "I want to be here. And if you hook up with Kelly, and lure her away, it keeps her out my hair."

Rob didn't say anything else, so Bec closed her eyes again, and just sat there. There were flies and cicadas and occasional cars, but not many. The highway wasn't that busy in the middle of the afternoon, even at the start of the holidays.

After a while she reached up and pulled down the side of her singlet and bra. Didn't look, didn't say anything, just tugged gently until she felt herself come out.

Rob took a while to notice.

He must glanced over, eventually. She heard, "Oh," and then silence.

She opened her eyes and grinned at him.

"Ah," he said. "That's getting to be a habit."

"Yeah. I always wanted to be the girl who didn't worry about taking her tits out."

"And how's that going?"

"You know. Just practicing."

He sat there for a moment, watching her face like he felt he ought to. Then looked down at her bare breast, almost guiltily. Like he couldn't help himself. It was flattering and kind of sweet the way he seemed happy just to stare, for whole minutes at a time.

Bec closed her eyes again, and just sat there and let him look. It was sexy and flirty and actually quite nice, almost like sunbathing in someone's gaze.

After a while the blast of cold air on her nipple got too much though. It got so cold it almost started to hurt. She pulled her singlet up, tucked herself away.

"Bec," Rob said. "I..."

She reached over and put her hand over his mouth. "Don't spoil it," she said.

"Okay," he said into her hand.

"Don't."

No answer. She took her hand away, then realized it was the first time she'd touched him.

She wasn't sure if that meant something.

She heard a truck slowing down in the distance, slowing down like it was about to stop. She glanced in the mirror and saw a tow truck pulling up, and was glad it had turned up when it did.

*

The towie didn't seem to care where the car was or how it had got there. He took the keys from Rob, and started hitching the car up to his truck.

Bec and Rob got in her pickup and watched.

Bec had been trying to decide how far she wanted to push with Rob, and how much she ought to respect Kelly and leave Rob alone, and how much that didn't matter any more, after ten years and when Kelly obviously wasn't interested.

She decided she wanted to push enough to try.

"One problem living out here," Bec said, looking straight ahead through the windscreen. "I get horny as hell."

Rob looked at her for a while, but didn't answer.

"I'm just saying," she said.

Rob still didn't answer.

"There was a guy," Bec said. "In town. Why I moved back here." She hurt just thinking it, and didn't know why she was saying this to a stranger.

"Okay," Rob said.

"That's a lot of why I came back now," Bec said. "Not everything, and not because someone doesn't need to run the farm, but that was why now. I was into this guy, and I thought he was into me. I made a big thing of it, and kind of threw myself at him. Very fucking publicly, and very fucking obviously."

"It didn't work out?"

"Not so much. The place I did it, he was there with his wife."

"Oh."

"Yeah oh. I didn't know about her, by the way."

Rob nodded.

"He was there with his wife," Bec said. "And he was also kind of my boss."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Not cool. Not cool at all."

Rob sat there for a while. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. So now I'm horny."

"I got that."

"And I want someone to pick me. So I feel better about the guy before. I want someone to pick me over someone else."

Rob just kept looking at her.

"So what's with you and Kelly?" Bec said.

"We hadn't seen each other for a while."

"And you hooked up?"

Rob didn't answer.

"Did you?"

"Not what you're thinking. Just talking."

"But just talking that makes you come out to the farm the next day."

"Yeah," Rob said. "I suppose."

"You want her. Basically?"

He sat there for a while.

"But she doesn't want you," Bec said.

"No," he said.

"Okay. So there's me."

He looked at her. "Bec, I'm sorry. I wish I could."

"Kelly doesn't care. She's forgotten about you. She thinks this is awkward."

"I know."

"I care. I think I want this. I'm right on the fucking edge, here, so help me out."

"Why me? Isn't there anyone else?"

Bec shook her head. "There is, but not here. Not right now. It's you."

He looked at her, didn't say anything.

"I just want to fuck," Bec said. "That's all. I kind of need someone just to touch me and hold me and be inside me."

Rob didn't say anything. He was still looking at her. The towie finished pulling the rental car onto his truck. Bec wasn't sure why she and Rob had waited. The towie got back into his truck, and seemed about to leave.

"I don't meet that many people out here," Bec said. "Not people I haven't known for years, which makes it a bit weird. So yeah."

The tow truck drove away.

Bec started the truck's engine, and put in gear. "No pressure," she said. "Not necessarily even asking. Just information, in case you want to do anything about it."

*

Bec drove back to the farm, slowly. She didn't talk, didn't want to push Rob too hard. He didn't seem to know what to say.

Just past the farm's front gate, in the wide front paddocks beside the road, a double-line of windbreak pines led down into a gully and off towards the boundary creek. One of the farm tracks ran between them. It was hidden down there. Private, even though it was only a little way from the driveway and the road.

Bec stopped at the start of the track. The gate was open. The stock were all up on the hillsides for summer.

That seemed like a sign. Like she wouldn't have bothered getting out to open a gate, but since the gate was already open, it meant something.

She looked down the track, down into the hidden gulley behind the pines. The pickup could disappear down there. A whole tractor could. No-one going past would see them.

"So," she said to Rob. "Want to hold out for Kelly? Or make do with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

He didn't answer, so she decided not saying no was enough.

She put the pickup in gear, and drove slowly down the track. Bumped and jostled to the lowest point, near where it crossed the creek. It was nice down there. It was shaded and cooler.

She reached over, past Rob's knee, and opened the glove-box. She rummaged around, past gloves and some pliers and months worth of receipts. There were a couple of loose condoms in there somewhere, floating around. She found one, looked at the expiry date, and held it out to Rob.

He looked back at her.

"Only if you want to," she said. She was close to him, leaning. Her face very near his.

He didn't answer.

"I'm not expecting promises," she said. "Whatever might happen with Kelly, I don't care. But if you want to, right now, I'm up for it."