Coming Out with the Truth Ch. 07

"I need you so much," he whispered again. His voice was deeper, huskier. I was pretty sure we'd changed subjects. He began to move against me, sliding out and pushing back inside me with the utmost tenderness.

"You've got me," I answered, closing my eyes as John's hand slid down from my hip and began stroking my aching length. His movements were getting stronger and more sure and I was losing track of all the things I'd been going to say to him. Instead I think I only babbled as my nerves lit up and heat swept through my body. "John, I'm yours. Always. I'm here, my love, I'm here."

John kissed me, pressing his body closer and wrapping himself around me. But this was getting sort of uncomfortable.

"Love, let me roll over," I whispered. John pulled out of me without saying a word, let me shift onto my back. I hooked my legs around him as he lowered himself again, wrapped my arms around his neck.

I could feel the head of his cock against me, moved against it.

"John," I breathed, kissing his cheeks. He reached down and pushed back inside me. Back home. "I missed you so much," I whispered, pulling him closer.

John gave a choked noise and kissed me, continued his rocking motion and the gentle friction between us.

"Keith," he groaned softly against my neck.

"Yes, John." I whispered. My eyes were squeezed shut and I was clinging to him as if he was my only hope of survival. I think he was holding me just as tight. "Yes..."

Every breath I took shuddered in my chest. My body trembled, awash with sensation.

"Keith, I love you." He gasped, hitting the bundle of nerves inside me again and again and I had to moan. This was too much. Too much being said and too much being felt.

"John," I wanted to reply, to tell him how much I loved him too, but I found his hand slipping between us to stroke me again and I forgot how to speak.

A few panting gasps and whimpers later and I came. My body tightened around him and I cried his name as the world faded to white-hot brightness around me - and John followed me over the edge with a hoarse moan and a shudder.

I drew deep breaths and stroked the smooth skin of his back and shoulders.

"I love you." John finally whispered, his head resting against my shoulder.

"I love you," I echoed, holding him tight, trying to hold him inside me for as long as I could.

John smiled and rubbed his nose against mine with a soft sigh. He seemed much calmer now, much happier.

"I should have been promising you all that." He murmured finally. I giggled.

"If you want to, I won't say no." I said lightly, but my heart was full and my body was floating.

John kissed me, looked at me with warmth, with love. I couldn't stop smiling.

"Anything." He said with a bemused sort of air. "But I don't even know where to start."

"We'll figure it out." I told him, but I didn't care. Not really. Not when he'd already agreed to move in with me, had offered me a dog and a ring and children. A life together.

That was everything I'd ever hoped for and more.

John bent and kissed me again. "Everything." He murmured, as much to himself as to me.

And there was nothing else in the world that I could possibly want.

I smiled and kissed him again.

Once we'd showered and been through John's clothes and found me a t-shirt that fit me halfway decently we decided that I was going to have to stick with my jeans from the day before. Anything of John's just wouldn't have fitted well enough to pass as mine. Although it wasn't like it really mattered since they were probably going to figure out that the t-shirt wasn't mine pretty quickly anyway.

We drove to the supermarket and got some food, but John suggested we walk over to my house, which I thought was a good idea, since if there was any alcohol we might need it to get through the afternoon, and then we wouldn't want to be driving.

As we walked, John chatted as much as usual (which means, not as much as me). It was pretty clear that he was nervous despite what he'd said the previous day. I was too. I just tried not to let him see it.

He drew a deep breath in the street outside my house. I stopped and looked at my house with him.

John looked at me with a smile I hadn't expected. "Well." He said. "I guess you'd better take me in and introduce me to your friends."

I grinned back. "They'll all be very excited to finally meet my mysterious boyfriend." I told him lightly. I was suddenly aware neither of us had used that word yet, but I was pretty sure John would smile.

He did. And pulled me into his arms. "You know," he said slowly. "I'm pretty sure I didn't come out for a boyfriend."

He was still smiling and his tone was warm, but I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"What?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too hesitant or confused.

John kissed me lightly, rested his forehead against mine. "I think I'd rather have a partner. Or a husband. Or even a fiancé. But a boyfriend? Nah."

"Really?" I asked slowly. I wasn't sure why this surprised me quite so much, but it did.

John nodded. "Always. Forever. Everything."

My heart soared. I was suddenly sure that they were just about the three best words in the English language.

"I love you." John added.

Oh. Apart from those three words.

"I love you too." I kissed him back and grinned at him.

Then he took hand and led me up to the door.

He was smiling and relaxed again. I guessed he was going to swing back and forth a bit between being confident and laid back and being worried, but I thought it was natural. And I was sure that everything would be fine.

All the same, I felt more nervous than John as he rang the bell.

Emma in particular had the potential to make this really difficult. I didn't know what Sarah was going to do, either. For John's sake I hoped she was going to be good about it. I suspected she would be, since she hadn't attacked either of us the last night, but I wasn't sure. She wasn't just John's sister. She was also his best friend.

As it turned out I needn't have worried. Tim opened the door for us (it felt pretty weird being let into my own house) and grinned evilly. I held John's hand tightly. He gripped my hand just as tightly in response.

We stepped into the hall and I heard Emma's piercing wolf whistle before I even saw her peering round at us from the kitchen. There was a burst of muffled laughter, and I led John through.

Emma was supervising in the kitchen (well, her and Sarah) and she led my friends in a round of whistling and hooting.

"Thanks, Em." I said dryly. She beamed.

"John." She said, ignoring me and extending her hand. "Nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah. You too." He said awkwardly, and went to shake her hand. She pulled her usual trick and hugged him instead.

"Ok." I said when she'd let him go and had hugged me too. "John, this is Martin and Chris, Lisa, Sal and Beatrice... Everyone, this is John." The girls all smiled and looked pretty pleased to see him, but Martin looked suspicious and aloof. Yeah, he would. Martin could hold a grudge like no one else I knew. I decided to throw it out there. Just in case. "And you had all better be nice to him." I threatened. I'd meant to add a threat, such as withholding dessert or something equally horrendous, but I saw Sarah coming towards us and stopped. I held my breath, but she just looked at John. She took his arm and led him out of the kitchen, the same time I recognised another couple of people coming into the kitchen from outside, where there appeared to be more people. Joel, Gordon, Gloria and Sarah's Chris along with Zack; I hadn't known he was coming.

"Hi." I said to them, more than slightly taken aback.

"Finally?" Zack asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

I nodded, letting out a breath and grinning. "Yeah."

John:

When Sarah gently but firmly pulled me out of the kitchen I felt sick.

The relief I felt when she hugged me was palpable.

"You never did do things the easy way, did you?" she asked, voice muffled.

"No." I said with a grin, holding her tight against me.

"How come you never said?" she asked, looking up. There was hurt in her eyes, no matter how nice she was being. "How come you never told me?"

"I didn't think there was any point." I admitted. "Not when I made it beyond thirty without meeting anyone I really cared about and I never expected to meet anyone I'd actually feel something for. I never thought it would happen. So it was easier just to ... I'm sorry." I said. "I should have told you first."

"You didn't have to tell me first. But telling me might have been nice."

"Yeah. Sorry." she shook her head as if it didn't matter.

"Christ." She moaned suddenly.

"What?" I asked. She sighed.

"When Callum next asks me why you're not married I'm going to let you explain it to him." I laughed.

"Yeah. Ok." I agreed, way too easily. It wouldn't take her too long to retract that demand. Not when she figured out what else I could tell a curious kid.

She hugged me again. "God, John." she murmured. "This is so not going to go down well."

"Well," I said, trying hard to sound like I didn't care. "It's not like we ever really liked Mike or Al anyway." I named our two brothers. I'd never really got on with them, and I really disliked their wives. I didn't know why I cared so much what they thought of me despite that, but the fact was that it hurt.

Sarah pulled away from me and stared at me, then covered her mouth and laughed.

"I saw Al yesterday. He was there." I finally admitted. Sarah looked at me with worried eyes. "He told Ollie and Charlie I wasn't his uncle anymore. Charlie was asking him..." I remembered Ollie looking at me with those big eyes, Al steering them both away before they could even get close.

"John..." she said helplessly. I knew she was worried about me. I shrugged.

"It's fine, Sarah." I lied. "I'll be fine. I've got Keith now."

The smile that lit her face was enormous. She punched my arm. "I'm so happy!" she said. "You've finally got someone!" I rubbed my arm but grinned back at her.

"Yeah." I agreed. "He's... I'm moving in with him." Sarah gaped at me and then shook her head, smiling.

"Wow." She said, and hugged me tight. I held her back. I'd been pretty sure she'd be ok with this, and I was glad. Losing the rest of the family was enough. "You certainly don't do things by half measures."

I laughed. "No. You weren't at the presentation when I came out?"

"No. Gloria told me all about it. She just about burst with pride. But that's ok. There's a video, apparently."

The ground dipped beneath my feet. "There's a what now?" I blurted in shock. Christ, I was glad I hadn't known that at the time!

Sarah laughed. "And I'm sure Penny will be reasonable." She said, already launching into her brusque organising mode. "And if not, then I'll just call you every time I babysit so you can come over and see them. And you know what? Those kids love you. They're not going to just forget that."

I smiled at her. I was grateful for her attempt to make me feel better, but I just didn't know how this would ever play out.

"So how long has this been going on for?" she asked, changing topics again.

"Uh... nearly six months." I answered with a wince. Her jaw dropped just like I expected.

"Six- six months? But you both came over for dinner. A lot. I never knew, I had no idea... But..." She stared at me with an open mouth until I reached out and tapped her chin with a finger. She shut her mouth fast but glared at me. "I can't believe you." She said darkly, shaking her head.

I offered her a smile. She sighed and hugged me again.

"So this was what the fight was all about? This is why he's been avoiding me and you've been acting odd?"

"Basically." I nodded.

"Well." Sarah said, squeezing my arm. "I'll be glad to have the both of you back to normal." Although that, I thought, was a very subjective term.

We went out the back to where everyone was gathering around the table and barbecue. Emma came up and began chatting to Sarah immediately. They seemed to be getting on just fine without me so I moved over towards Keith. Partly because I didn't know any of his friends and I'd forgotten their names already and partly because the skinny dark haired guy was distinctly unfriendly, but also because I'd only just got this right. And I wasn't about to let Keith go anywhere without me just yet.

He gave me a smile that was, in combination with the sight of him wearing my t-shirt, positively lethal. He passed me a beer.

"Everything alright?" he asked softly. His eyes were dark and warm and incredibly happy. Somehow I felt stronger, calmer, just with that look.

"Yeah, it's fine." I agreed, smiling back and slipping my arm around his waist. "Everything's wonderful."

Keith laughed softly and I ducked my head to kiss him.

Emma hooted and tried to get everyone else to whistle at us. It didn't really work, which Keith found even more amusing. He gave me another kiss, then leant back against me and I wrapped my arms around his middle.

We spent the whole afternoon eating and laughing and talking with our friends, and I don't think I lost contact with Keith at all for hours.

I felt good. I felt optimistic, which said something, seeing as I'd never felt so free or so happy that I could remember, and I couldn't imagine how I could be any happier. There were clouds on the horizon, sure, but nothing we couldn't handle. As long as I had Keith, as long as Keith loved me and I loved him, then everything was going to be fine. He made life worth living, he made everything brighter and happier, and every moment with him made me realise just how damn lucky I was. I felt like I had a second chance, and I was determined not to let anything make me forget what a gift it was or let anything get in the way. I knew what was important now.

For the first time in a long, long time, I actually felt like everything was going to be great.

...