Confused about Master's Role

An hour had passed and I finally worked up the nerve to send him a text asking when he was coming back. Half an hour later he sent a text back that he was getting off work at noon tomorrow and maybe he would come back then. Now I could feel myself surging with anger. He was staying the night with her? One of the things we do best and is so intimate is sleep together. She was going to get the evening fuck and the morning fuck. What if he came back and did not want to fuck again, or stayed another night with her? I was pacing the room as I was beyond pissed and so angry. As so often happens, if I become too angry I start crying and I was crying all over again. I was a fucking pathetic whore and I fell right into a trap, perfectly laid plans of cruelty of the worst sort. I would have rather had him whip me with his belt or rape my ass, not caring if it hurt so much I could no longer tolerate the pain. Total power exchange is always more mental than physical, but this was an extreme example of humiliation.

Thoughts of the disgusting men I fucked, one right after the other, kept flooding my brain. Even though I was not paid to fuck them, I was still a whore in every sense of the word. In an odd way, it would have been more tolerable if they had paid for the fuck. It would have been a different mind set. I did this to please my Master and disgusted now that I found any of it arousing, only to be left alone. Even though I had not eaten all day, I had to make my brain shut down. Too much emotion and adrenaline throughout the day, and such a horrible ending. I was mad, I needed to sleep, and I needed to get even.

I slept until eight the next morning. The physical and emotional exertion from the day before had taken its toll. Sleep, so much sleep, can help clear my brain, I awoke feeling angry, not upset. I needed to burn off the anger before he came back. No matter what he did, I was stubborn and I was not going to let him see this. I already thought the weekend was ruined so I would have to turn my anger into acting to pretend, and hope somewhere there would be something to save the weekend. I also knew and would wait until I got home that we would need to discuss the difference between him being my other husband and him being my Master. I realized that if I had disobeyed my Master, I might not have hurt so badly. He needed to learn that when he is my other husband I do not take orders from husbands, which I did not realize until after I had made the huge mistake.

For now, it was time to shower and shave and get ready for the day. I also realized that I had not eaten since Thursday night and I would have to force down some food. I had plenty of time to get ready and walk to Starbucks for coffee and some food. Though I had a specific sexy miniskirt for today, I passive-aggressively put on a denim micro mini-skirt with a dark blue tight cami. I had brought the skirt as an extra just in case but when he specifically said no jeans I took that to mean no denim as well. I walked over to Starbucks and had coffee and managed to eat a few bites of the muffin. I know I needed more food but I just did not have the stomach for it. I struggle to keep weight on and this trip was going to set me back. I returned to the room and waited, thinking about how I would act when (or even if) he returned.

Thankfully the maid service came while I was gone. The trash was empty so Chris could not see the torn blue dress inside. I would throw away the school girl outfit in the airport bathroom before I checked my luggage. I was not going to fly home knowing it was in my suitcase. I knew he was not going to want sex when he came back as I knew he would have had his morning fuck with Jen, who I was convinced he stayed the night with, but I was never going to ask who or for any details. Even if it was not her, it was somebody other than me and on my time. I could feel the anger starting to surge again and on impulse I went on his laptop and started searching for flights. He had his own key to the room to retrieve his laptop and anything he had left here. No matter what time I could get a flight out, I could book the flight and leave in a taxi before he came back. However, I realized that if I did this, it was not my master that I would hurt, it was my other husband. Leaving could end the relationship and there was no chance to salvage the weekend.

I had to push the anger and hurt back so I stopped using the computer and made the decision to stay. I was pacing the room at noon, wondering again when or if he was coming back. At twelve-thirty Chris returned to the room in his uniform and his bag. I was laying on the bed reading a book when he came in. I smiled and said hello and asked him if he had fun. He said work was not fun and said nothing about the night before or the morning before work, and I did not ask. I knew I would have a hard time containing the anger in front of him - my face would turn red and no matter how I acted my face would give me away. He only said he had a long night and tough day working and he stripped down to his underwear and laid down on the bed next to me.He looked like he wanted to cuddle but I just stayed on my stomach with my elbows on the bed holding the book as I told him to take a nap and asked what time to wake him up.

He surprised me - his cock was hard and he said he wanted to fuck. We kissed and then I started sucking his cock. I could not smell any pussy on him. This led me to so many different thoughts. He either had fucked her this morning and showered. He did not fuck her this morning and that is why he wanted to fuck now. Or he wanted to fuck now, relax the rest of the day, and not fuck me again. My mind was on overdrive as I obediently got on top of him and put his cock into my pussy. To my surprise I was very wet. How does he do this to me? I did not ask, I refused to ask any questions. When he came he said to just let him sleep until he woke-up.

Pretending to read was fruitless and while he was napping he rolled into me and put his arm around me. Instead of reading, I put the book down and laid down on my side facing him. I put my arm around him and gently rubbed his back. I tried to convince myself I was just acting but despite this, it felt so good to be cuddling with him and the fuck felt great. I simply watched him while he slept and kept rubbing his back until I drifted off as well. After a two hour nap we woke up and said he felt much better. He kissed me a few times and said I looked very sexy. So the passive-aggressive plan did not work - I was grateful it did not work. He was sucking me in again! When he woke-up he told me that he did not mean to fall asleep away from me but he did and woke-up with just enough time to get ready. Okay, so he had an evening fuck but not a morning fuck. He apologized for staying the night with someone else as he did want to come back to me. I still did not ask who or for details, but I was indeed sucked back in completely and feeling better.

He ordered a pizza, but I still did not have the stomach to eat, so he played on the computer as he ate. We talked like crazy, held each other in bed while watching TV and talking in between. I was so relaxed and the perfection of the weekend, minutes a few hours, had returned. Chris commented again about my micro denim mini skirt, saying it looked sexy. Then suddenly his look changed, and his eyes were such that I knew I was clearly looking at my Master. He said that a denim mini skirt was the same as wearing jeans and I could not follow simple fucking instructions. He did not realize it was a passive-aggressive gesture, but if I admitted this, it would have made it worse. My Master then began questioning me about my loyalty to him as his submissive slave. He said not only had I disobeyed his request before I came, but I could not follow simple instructions as to what to wear, and I showed no reaction to his punishment. He said I was disloyal and I did not respect him and I only pretended to have feelings for him. I started begging and pleading that he was wrong - I was loyal to him and that I loved him. He simply asked if this were true, why was I searching for flights on his laptop? Why was I trying to leave? For such a detail oriented person, I overlooked such a small but extremely important detail - not deleting the search history on his computer. He said he thought his punishment was cruel but now I deserved to be punished again, despite my attempts to plead with him and explain.

I knew what was going to happen next. He went over to my suitcase to see if I had followed through on other items I was to bring. At least I had remembered this and he pulled the leg spreader out and walked over to the bed. He grabbed my hair and pushed me onto my back. He secured my ankles and wrists to the leg spreader. Then he pulled his cock out and I knew the rape was coming. I knew he would rape my ass after he raped my pussy, while telling me how pathetic I was and spitting on me. I could take this physical punishment, understand it, and have the pleasure along with the pain. But this time was different - he did not put his cock in my pussy and I did not see him make a move toward the lube. I could feel the head of his thick long cock touching my very tight ass and I tensed up, which was even worse. He slowly pushed the head of his cock into my raw ass and I closed my eyes tight and my hands clenched within the restraints. He then jammed the rest of his cock into my raw ass and I could not bear the pain - I screamed. He started pounding my ass as he pushed my head into the mattress to muffle my screams. I could hardly breathe, the pain was beyond what I could take, and I could feel panic but was powerless.

Chris pulled out and released me from the restraints. My ass was on fire, I could feel the mascara running down my face from tears of pain, and I was almost hyperventilating trying to catch my breath. He did not cum but maybe now he would make it easier. He put lube on his cock and then Chris grabbed my hair and shoved me into the bathroom and forced me over the bathroom counter in a position where I could watch in the mirror.

He was rough as he shoved his cock inside my raw ass but it had stretched and the lube made it better. He began pounding with one hand on my wrists behind my back and the other on my hips. The pain was still enormous but I had no way to move. He was using his body weight to not just pound my ass but to keep me pressed against the counter. I was moaning loudly and crying out in pain. The louder I was the harder he pounded. I could not stop even though I knew it was only making it worse for me. He was going faster and faster and then announced he was going to cum. I could feel his long held in large hot load of cum pumping into my ass and his loud cum moans and panting, and despite the agony, I began to cum hard! He had my ass trained to be painfully raped and still cum. He released me and grabbed my hair and forced me onto my knees to suck his cock clean. It tasked to cum, lube and ass juice. He was still hard and shoving his cock in my mouth while I gagged and tears ran down my eyes. He stopped when he thought I had been humiliated enough and his cock was clean.

He dragged me over to the bed and shoved me on my back and ordered me to stay there. He was fishing through my suitcase and found something else I had brought - a butt plug. He came over and jammed it in my ass, telling me I had to keep it in all night to hold his cum inside of me. I was so glad I thought to bring the small butt plug. We both went into the bathroom to clean up. Then we both walked over to the bed, I was walking gingerly, and laid down and pulled the covers over us, turned out the light, and snuggled hard for the only night we would sleep together for eleven months. I slept lightly because I wanted to make sure we were cuddling all night long, and I could feel the butt plug in my sore ass, but it was now a pleasant reminder. He fell asleep immediately yet he held me as hard as I held him and no matter which way he turned, I would wake up enough to make sure I either turned into him or turned away but stayed close so we could snuggle tight. I could afford a light sleep, being our final night. I wanted him to have a good restful sleep - one of the luxuries had when we are together.

Monday morning came too quickly. I knew he had to leave at seven hours and I heard his cell phone alarm go off. It seemed like we had just gone to sleep! When he reset it for a few minutes I quickly went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and delicately pulled out the butt plug and cleaned it. I practically jumped back into bed. We were down to a few precious minutes and I did not want to spend any of it away from him. We rolled into each others' arms and held tight and I watched him sleep. I did not want to miss a moment. The cell phone alarm went off again, not a welcome ring as this time he woke wake up and turned it off - no more time to sleep. He rolled back into me, and his cock was hard as a rock. We bypassed the no kissing when we first wake up rule. I had already brushed my teeth and I welcomed his tongue in my mouth. I wanted all of him no matter what. We kissed and I took one hand and gently stroked his cock. He took one hand and was playing with my already wet pussy. Then he pulled me under him as he got on top and slid his beautiful cock inside of me. We kissed as he pounded my pussy with all his might. I knew there was not much time and the fucking was so intense he came inside of me. He kissed me once more and headed off to the shower.

I was laying in bed, soaking in the pleasure and squeezing to hold his cum inside of me. He came out of the shower in a towel, then began putting on his uniform. I knew he was pressed for time and I tried to hold back emotion as I watched him dress. I knew it would be eleven months before I saw him again, and it would be in Vegas. We had texts before he left and e-mails during his deployment but I felt that surge of how hard it was going to be while he was gone. I just watched him and realized at this moment, I did not want any other man.

He was very quiet as he finished dressing and packing, except to say what he always does - he does not know how he sleeps without me as he was so rested. He was finished and ready to leave. I got up naked and gave no thought to how my hair and face looked. He had seen me enough times in the morning, something I do not let others see. I stood on my tip toes to reach up and hug him. He hugged me hard and for a long time, then we kissed and he left, neither one of us saying "good-bye."

I went back to bed and I could feel the tears coming down my face, overwhelmed that the weekend had indeed been phenomenal, had gone by too quickly, and there was such a long long wait until I could see him again in Vegas. I had a wake-up call set for nine, plenty of time to get ready, walk to Starbucks and get a taxi to the airport. I went into the bathroom and washed my face, put on make-up, and fixed my hair. I put on the tight short spandex skirt with tiny flowers, a hot pink cami, and a different small black cover that I was originally going to wear last night. I decided to forgo taking a shower until I got home. I always fly home with his cum inside of me and I did not want to let it go. I snapped a picture of myself in the full length mirror and sent it to him with a text message saying I missed him already and to be safe on his journey. He simply wrote back a thanks and that I was very sexy and he was saving this pic, too. Hours later at the airport I held the tears back as I boarded the plane. Bittersweet feelings as the plane took off for my journey home and the long long wait ahead of me.