Consequences - Samantha

Before the echo of the last words faded, Jeff rose, pushed past me and went downstairs without a word. I stood there, shaken by my own words and not sure what the hell had just happened. I was stunned and unable to move. After what seemed like ages, I finally walked over to the bed and just collapsed. My head was spinning and my mind was in turmoil. I was shocked at myself for my outburst and ashamed as well. I tried to understand what I did and why I did it but nothing came to me. I was unsure of what I should do. Should I go downstairs and apologize to Jeff? Should I just wait until he came upstairs and then apologize?

I undressed and got ready for bed, waiting for Jeff to come up. I would apologize and try to make it up to him. What I said was inexcusable, that much I knew. I would just lie here and wait for him. That was my last thought until the alarm woke me the next morning. I rolled over and pushed the alarm before the memory of last night came back to me. I looked over at the place where my husband slept to see the covers undisturbed. Jeff had not come to bed at all! I rose, threw on a robe and ran downstairs to find him, but he had left for work already. It was an hour early but he was gone.

I worried all that day at work but by the time I was ready to leave to go home, the urgency had left me. I apologized that evening when Jeff returned from work and he seemed to accept it but he was never the same after that. Yes, I believe that's when things began to change. As I remember it now, it was almost three more months before I finished that job, and after that, things just never seemed to get back to where they were. That was about a year ago, give or take a month. Yes, that's when it all changed.

Harris Falkner was a law student and a summer intern at the firm when I first noticed him. He was no more than twenty-one or twenty-two and he was just trying to get his foot in the door by working for several of the partners as a clerk. He was eager and quick to learn and I was fascinated by him. He introduced himself one afternoon and asked if I could help him in a translation. I told him that I could find some time later that afternoon and for him to get his things together so we could do what he needed quickly. He did so and I was able to help him. He was grateful and after that, he rarely missed a day without saying something nice to me. I began to look forward to his short visits as a pleasant part of my day.

As time passed, Harris became familiar with most of the staff and he and I spent time together when we both had some free time. I found out a lot about him. He told me that his family had money but he wanted to make it on his own. He was finishing his undergrad work this year and would go on to law school next term. He was cute and I found him to be very interesting. He was over six feet tall, slim build with a handsome face and dark brown hair that was always falling over his eyes. His blue eyes were fascinating, his gaze so intense you felt you were the center of his world.

I became aware that he was flirting with me almost from the start but I found it to be very flattering. I was confused since I was at least eighteen years older than he and that difference didn't seem to bother him. I was almost old enough to be his mother but he never treated me that way. It was never platonic and it certainly didn't bother me. Our flirting become more blatant and I admit to being a party to it. I just told myself it was harmless and would lead to nothing.

That's where I was as my life with Jeff continued to deteriorate. We had not been intimate for at least three months. We seemed to be fine when the kids were present but after they went to bed, it was almost silent. We had sex a few times earlier but that just stopped since we both knew it was not making love. We hardly ever talked about anything other than necessary things and we shared no intimate moments either in bed or out.

It was no longer my job that was keeping us apart; it had become almost a habit now. We never talked about it or discussed our marriage or that it was in crisis. I did discuss it with Harris on several occasions and my lack of sex life did finally come out. Why I would discuss my marriage with someone like Harris was a mystery that I didn't really understand but that's exactly what I did. I discussed it with this boy rather than with my husband. I knew that Jeff had tried on several occasions to get me to talk about it, but I rudely dismissed his concerns as trivial. That was when I started on this path, the path leading me down this slippery slope toward betrayal.

As things with Harris continued to develop at work, my fortieth birthday was coming up in a month. Jeff mentioned it one evening when we were with the twins and I just dismissed it as of no consequence. Jeff asked me what I would like to have and if I wanted to do anything special. I thought about it and decided that I wanted nothing more than to just ignore it. I told them that and made him promise not to do anything with the kids to celebrate. He tried to discuss it but I was not in the mood and I snapped at him. He stopped talking about it and seemed angry when he said that he would not mention it again. Both Amy and Brad seemed upset as well, but I didn't pay much attention. I simply forgot about it as I had been doing lately.

It was now near my birthday and I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary at home so my wishes were being honored. But I didn't know how I felt about it now. That's what I wanted, wasn't it? Not to do anything? Well, at that time, it was. Now, as I talked about it to Harris, I made it seem that Jeff had just pushed me aside and decided to do nothing. How did I come to that? I didn't have a clue! I guess in my own clouded thinking, I was trying to minimize my husband and maximize my own suffering, while drawing Harris into my illusion. I think I had already begun to rationalize my feelings of abandonment and place the blame on my husband. I know that none of that was real but in my mind, it all began to build up and my resentment began to grow. I used my relationship with Harris to vent my anger and my frustrations.

Harris was a perfect foil for my resentments. He listened, he sympathized with me, he made flattering comments about my beauty and how he would never desert me as Jeff had. He never missed a chance to downgrade Jeff or build me up as a desirable woman. Even though he was much younger than me, he said he understood me and my needs. He told me that girls his age were shallow, interested only in fun. I was more mature and I understood what was real. By the end of the month before my birthday, Jeff and I had discussed the idea of meeting outside work. I mentioned my monthly mall trip and asked if he would like to meet me for a drink afterward. He agreed and we made plans.

That Saturday, I had my list and I was moving quickly through the mall since I was very familiar with all the stores. I usually enjoyed this time to myself, more so lately. Although I was shopping for all of us, I was alone and I loved browsing the store windows without having to hurry or please someone else's schedule. I was almost finished when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Harris standing behind me. I smiled as a jolt of pleasure went through me. I was happy to see him and we chatted as I moved toward my next stop. I went in, Harris right with me and I admit to being pleased that this young man was so intent on being with me. After the first store where I found all my items, the fun of sharing my choices with someone who was interested was a pleasure.

The afternoon passed quickly and when I was finished, I noticed that the time had just flown by. It was already four thirty and I had to leave to make it home in time for dinner so I reluctantly told Harris that our time for drinks would have to wait. He walked out with me and helped me carry my purchases to the car. Once there, I loaded the trunk and shut the lid. As I turned, I moved right into Harris' outstretched arms. He pulled me tight against him and he kissed me with such passion I didn't even resist. We kissed for several minutes right there in the parking lot of the mall. As his young body pressed against mine, I felt his arousal as it pressed against my stomach. I enjoyed the feeling and wondered what it would look like, so young and eager. I finally pushed him back and looked at him in surprise.

Harris took both of my hands in his and looked back at me. "Stay with me, Sam. I'll get us a room so you can stay. I want to make love with you so badly. Please, Sam, stay."

I was shocked at his suggestion but the idea began to pull at me. I found myself wanting to do this, to be with him and to stay with him. But I knew that Jeff and the twins were expecting me home and if I stayed, they would worry and would be calling me to find out where I was. I had no reason to stay away. I had no excuse that would satisfy my husband. And I had to be sure he couldn't find out if I did stay. No, I couldn't do this now. But when?

"Please, Harris, let me think. I can't do this today or anytime soon without plans. I'm married and it's not so simple for me. I have people who are expecting me. Let me go now. I'll talk to you at work next week. Just let it be for now. But I will think about it, Harris. I will. I think I want this too."

Without waiting for his reply, I hurried to the driver's side door and slid in, shutting the door behind me. I started the engine and backed out quickly, almost without looking. Fortunately, I was clear and I pulled out and drove away, not looking back. I drove home with my packages and by the time I pulled into my driveway, my mind had calmed down and I was able to spend the remaining weekend with my family without any suspicion. Actually, if I had even noticed, I would have found Jeff not even paying attention to me. We had fallen apart so far and I never saw it.

During the next few weeks, I talked with Harris and convinced him that I was still considering his suggestion. We maintained our usual routine and went to lunch on several occasions. We kissed several times, each time more intense than the one before and my need to be with him increased. During our kisses, there was more and more body contact and each time I could clearly feel his arousal. He even felt my breasts on some occasions and he usually had my ass in his hands. I took him in my hands as he gasped with desire, but we went no further than contact through our clothes. At the end of that month, I found myself becoming wet just at the sight of him.

I finally came up with the idea of meeting him for the afternoon on the Saturday I was scheduled for my monthly shopping trip. The idea of purchasing most of the items in advance, a few at a time, came from Harris. He just suggested I get the list started early and buy the items as they suggested them. That way, my trip would be no different to those at home and I would have more time to be with Harris. I agreed to do that and over the next two weeks, bought almost all of the list before that Saturday. Harris told me that he had reserved a room in a motel a block away from the mall and that we would meet, do what few things remained and then drive to the motel in separate cars. I agreed and our plans were set.

My reverie was stopped by my arrival at the mall. I once again asked myself if this was what I wanted to do. I had no hesitation as I told myself, yes! I drove into the mall parking lot and drove around to the section outside the Macy's store. I saw Harris' bright red Mazda convertible and pulled in beside him. He waved and walked around his car to slide into the seat beside me. He leaned over and pulled me tight against him as he kissed me hard. I returned his kiss and I opened my lips to allow his tongue to enter me. As his tongue moved in and out of my mouth in rapid motions, I reached down to feel him already aroused. I stroked him gently, being careful not to do too much here in the car in public. We broke apart and walked together into the mall.

I did my shopping in record time, Harris right beside me all the time. When I checked the last item off my list, he leaned down and kissed me. "OK, you know where to go. I'm so horny I can't wait any longer. I'll see you there." With that, he spun around and almost ran out of the store. Laughing, I paid the bill for my purchase and walked to my car. I placed the bags in the trunk and then started the car.

I sat there for a few minutes, just talking to myself one last time. Did I or did I not want to do this. That argument was very short and before I had a chance to question my decision, I drove to the Hargrove Motel and around the back to the last row of doors. Room 158, that was the number Harris whispered to me before he ran out. I parked in front of that room, reached behind me to grab the small bag I had packed and placed in the car and went up to the door and knocked. Harris answered almost before I knocked twice. He pulled me in, laughing. I went, one quick, guilty look around to be certain and then the door closed.

Once inside, Harris grabbed me and for the next few minutes, was all hands and mouth. It was like High School, all over again. I had only a second to ask myself what I was doing here before his fingers entered me and all reluctance was gone. I helped him get rid of my carefully chosen black lacy bra and my matching panties and then he had me on the bed and was forcing his legs between mine. He was fingering me at the same time he was sucking on my nipples and I was so hot I couldn't decide what I wanted. He decided for me and before I could say or do anything, I felt the head of his cock spread my opening and then he was inside me.

Fortunately I was wet already or he would have hurt me in his haste. I lay back and experienced only the second cock of my life. I was a virgin when Jeff took me the first time and that time was not very good. After that, I learned how to enjoy it and Jeff was a wonderful lover, always patient and caring, bringing me to orgasm every time. Harris had neither of those qualities and I noticed that immediately. The second thing I noticed was that he felt no different than Jeff inside me. I guess most men were the same size and their equipment was mostly the same.

Harris was plunging into me with hard strokes. I raised my hips, trying to encourage him to slow down and allow me to enjoy it but he didn't seem to understand what I was trying to tell him. I raised my knees and he moved deeper inside but his strokes were so hard and fast, he couldn't last very long. Almost before I had time to enjoy what he was doing, I felt his pace suddenly increase, then he moaned and came. I felt his semen flood my insides before I was aware that he hadn't used a condom.

Harris stayed inside me for a few minutes as he slowly softened and then he pulled out and rolled over on his back. Once he caught his breath, he said, "Holy Jesus! That was outstanding! God, I've never cum so hard in my life!"

I lay there, hot, wet and horny and this kid was done? Not so fast! I raised myself up on my elbows and looked down at his sweaty face. "You may be done, Junior, but I'm hanging here with a load of your sperm inside me and nothing else. Where the hell are the condoms I told you to bring? And you left me hanging and I expect you to fix that and fix it very quickly. Like right now!"

With that, I pulled him over and took one hand and forced it between my legs. "If you can't get it up yet, then finger me till I cum. Hurry up, I need to cum so I can get myself cleaned up. Then we can do it with the condoms and you can take a little more time for me this time."

Harris took the hint and fingered me with enough energy to make me climax. I had to help him find my clit and then he seemed to know what to do. I let the climax run its course then I went into the bathroom and thoroughly cleaned myself out making sure all of the fluid was either so far up it would stay or far enough down that I could get it out with my small douche kit, part of my emergency bag. I was taking no chance that any evidence of Harris could leak out and betray me. No way was my husband ever going to find out about this.

By the time I came back out of the bathroom, Harris was laying back, his hands behind his head and his cock standing almost straight up, already dressed in a pink condom. "I'm ready to go again, so come over here and this time you can do the honors."

I smiled at the sight and sighed. This could be a lot of fun. His youth had one big advantage over my husband; he could be ready in no time. I climbed onto the bed, threw one leg over his prone form and then squatted directly over his hard cock. I took it in one hand, positioned it between my lips, now lubricated with a little K-Y, and dropped down, taking him completely inside me in one stroke. I slowly rose and then dropped again, over and over, slowly increasing my pace as I felt the lovely feeling come creeping slowly over my body. This I loved; controlling the pace and making sure I was satisfied.

Harris took my breasts in his hands and twisted the nipples as I moved on him. The feeling was so intense, I felt a climax roaring up on me. I came so hard that I almost stopped fucking him but I continued and had two more climaxes before he gripped my hips and held me tight on his cock. He ejaculated inside the condom but I could feel his cock twitch with each spurt. I fell forward onto his chest and we slowly came down together.

We spent the next four hours together in that room, fucking in every conceivable position. Harris was able to get hard even after cuming. Sometimes he didn't even get soft between times. I was like a woman possessed and had to do everything I could imagine. I even had him try to enter my ass but it hurt so much, I made him quit. I was ready to quit but Harris begged me to do him once more, using my mouth. I have to be honest; I hated doing that but he had already brought me to one crashing climax with his mouth on my clit so I felt I had to return the favor. It was not fun, but he came quickly and then I was done. I went into the bathroom, spit his fluid out and brushed my teeth, rinsing with mouthwash.

As I washed up, putting my lipstick and makeup back in place, I noticed that it was already past six o'clock. I almost panicked then, my usual time for coming home was four or four thirty at the latest. I hadn't noticed the time passing. I reached for my phone, then decided that it was too late to call. I hurried out of the bathroom, now fully dressed and ready to go home. I would have to make up some story that would satisfy Jeff.

As I walked into the room, Harris was dressed as well. He smiled at me. "This afternoon had been the best day of my life. You are fantastic and I hope we can do this again very soon."

I had asked myself the same question as I put my lipstick back on. Should I do this again? I examined my feelings and I felt a small seed of guilt that was trying to find its way out. I decided I needed time to answer his question. "I don't know, Harris. This was great and I enjoyed the time with you, but I'm married and I don't know how I feel about cheating on my husband."

Harris tried to convince me that it was just sex and didn't have anything to do with my marriage but I wasn't sure. We parted and I promised to talk to him next week. He watched me pull out and when I looked back, he was standing beside his car and he waved. I drove home, my thoughts on the afternoon and the experiences I had.

I knew that I didn't love Harris and never could. I did love Jeff but we were having problems and that was something I had to work on. I did enjoy my afternoon with Harris but I thought that there was little difference in the sex with Harris and Jeff. Jeff and I made love, or at least we had before the recent problems. Harris had more stamina but Jeff had more finesse. The only reason I enjoyed this afternoon was that sex with Harris was illicit and there was a small kernel of excitement about that. But my last thought as I pulled into the driveway was, 'was it really worth the chance of damaging my marriage?'