Control Issues

Many thanks to 'jacuzzigal' for graciously giving to me her time and effort to editing this story. I appreciate your support Jazzy.

She couldn't remember a time when she was this nervous. While she knew she would be safe with him, she was about to do something so out of character and she couldn't quiet her nerves and she so wanted to be confident, tonight especially. She wanted him to know she wanted this, wanted to please him more then anything. They had shared this fantasy but she never thought she would actually be able to go through with it. Tonight she would. Tonight she would take another step closer to him.

Cate had always been a confident, independent woman; capable of anything she set her mind to. She had never really known failure - anytime something didn't go the way she expected or wanted, she was able to work with it. She had a sense of flexibility that nothing really was a lost cause. Cate was sure of herself, could hold her own with anyone, in any conversation or experience, she took pride in her education, her abilities and her talents. She was a successful businesswoman. She'd created her own company, started in the spare room of her small condo, she caressed and cared for that business as if it was a baby. In many respects it was; she had never taken the time to consider having a family, she didn't even take much time to have a man in her life. That was the one part life that she had no faith in herself. She tried from time to time, but it was a half-hearted attempt and she knew it. It was just easier not to think about it all, to concentrate on her craft, to keep her company growing.

Cate was an artist once upon a time; she had a simple life back then, before becoming commercially successful. Occasionally her art seemed distant to her. She still took some time for designing and creating but more of her days were spent with business issues. No longer was she drawing, painting, sketching, making - now she was a business. Cate had made a decision years back that seemed right at the time, a large company approached her to buy her designs. They told her how they would bring her art to every home in the country, how the possibilities were endless. Cate was impressed. The decision seemed easy. She was about to sign on the dotted line, sell her name in effect, never needing to worry about money again. 'Just give me the pen,' she thought.

When it came time to sign the contract she reneged. She couldn't do it, not even for that much money. These creations were a part of her and she wasn't for sale. Plus she thought she could do the same as that company if she wanted. Okay, maybe not exactly but she knew she could make something work. She had a few friends that counseled her and she set off to make her own mark, with her own sweat and toil, not someone else's. She did it too, realizing she sacrificed more by doing it her way. Her work and integrity were worth it all, but she did give up a part of life for that success. It wasn't that she regretted doing things on her own, but that decision cost her in ways money couldn't possibly matter.

She was alone in many aspect of her life. She was the beginning and end of the line in her company. She made all the decisions, directed all areas of her business. She was a total success financially speaking, but she was alone with that success. While she was winging from coast to coast, north to south, meeting to meeting, she ignored that restlessness inside. She knew success couldn't be measured in dollars, she knew success was about those intrinsic parts of life: how she lived not how she made a living.

Nothing happened in her life that wasn't planned. There were no surprises in her life. She called the shots, made the decisions and made things work no matter what. She was in control of her life, and then she met him. Cate responded to him in ways she didn't know existed and it was unnerving. She felt compelled to know him, as if there was a force pulling her towards him that wasn't of her making. At first she fought it, but just like you can't change the tide she couldn't stop this compulsion.

The men Cate had dated seemed one-dimensional compared to him. They may have been financially successful but none had that particular quality that showed her they were in touch with life on different levels. They lived their professions and while Cate was certain there were times she was guilty of the same behavior she was able to maintain a connection to her true self, that personal place that held her artistry, frivolity and romance for life. She knew how to stay connected to those parts of life, she just didn't always do so.

John was an entrepreneur, a man of incredible substance, intellect and emotion. This was a man so sure of what he wanted and also with the resources to get it. But more then that, he was tender and giving. John was like no other man Cate had ever known and she instinctively moved towards him in all facets of her being. In the span of a few months he turned her life inside out.

John was aware of all life could be. He seemed to live every part of his life, left nothing on the table with each experience. If he wanted it he got it, though not in any self-absorbed or trite manner - he treated life with the reverence it deserved. For John each experience added to his life. Like Cate he accepted each moment no matter the result. Good or bad, it all mattered to him. He lived his life not just as a continuum of days one after the other; he lived the fullness of each day. There wasn't anything John didn't want to experience; he had a passion for everything. When he met Cate there was an instant attraction. It wasn't only physical attraction. It was also an attraction to how she saw life, that she knew there was so much more. He wanted to experience it with her.

Cate felt an instant attraction too. He was seemingly fearless. His zest for life was like a tonic to her soul. This man lived, participated in every part of his life. She was drawn to that immediately and she wanted to do the same, with him as her inspiration. She had no idea the impact he would have upon her life. What she imagined turned out to be a fraction of the reality. The two became lovers and confidants.

John had experiences far beyond Cate's about so many things - definitely about physical pleasures. Their lovemaking was incredible certainly by her standards. She'd never had a lover like him. He was so exciting and brought out a wantonness she didn't know existed in her. He loved bringing her to new heights, new levels of living and loving. He couldn't stop, and she became an addiction to him. Each day he seemed to find another way to seduce her into life. He wanted to show her what was lying dormant inside her, the woman she didn't know was there.

Tonight would be a special night for both of them. Cate hadn't really had many sexual fantasies but since meeting John that had changed. He unlocked that part of her, allowing her to create fantasies, some she dared to share with John. Tonight they would bring a shared fantasy to life. Her nerves were on edge. Her mind raced all day and though she willed herself to be calm it was no use. She was excited and apprehensive. Would she actually be able to go through with this?

As Cate got ready, each task seemed to take all her concentration. She showered and dried her hair, then moved into her bedroom and looked at the clothes laid out on her bed, each garment chosen with care to please him. As she slid the thigh-high black stockings on her heart began to race. Next she put on the black lace panties and matching bra. Looking at herself in the mirror her breath caught, and she felt that stir deep inside. Her silk blouse looked like the colors of a sunset in summer. It seemed to change colors with the light. Cate pulled the black skirt on and nervously smoothed out her clothing and took a deep breath.

Next came her makeup. Not one to overdo, she applied her lipstick and liner and lightly shadowed her eyes, bringing the blue out with a sparkle. Her hair was thick and straight with a soft curl at the shoulder. She added a simple gold necklace and earrings, slipped on the black high-heeled shoes and was done. A simple and tasteful outfit, nothing to suggest what was going on inside her. As she came down the stairs the front door opened and John watched her last few steps down. He smiled softly and moved towards her, kissing her lightly.

"You look beautiful." John's voice was almost a whisper.

Cate could barely utter a 'thank you' to him, she took a deep breath and he smiled at her. He slipped her hand in his. As she slid into the car's passenger seat he kissed her hand and she smiled at him, beginning to feel more at ease.

They road in silence to the restaurant, no words needed. They were greeted by name at the valet and John noticed both men took lingering looks at Cate. With a simple nod of acknowledgement John placed his hand on the small of her back as they entered the restaurant. They were frequent patrons and known to the staff. As they were escorted to their table, Cate took in the room. As usual it was crowded.

She sat and slid into the banquette and John moved in next to her. Knowing she was nervous he placed his hand on hers, caressing her softly with his thumb. He whispered to her that nothing would happen that she didn't want; he would never force anything on her.

"I know John, I'll calm down in a moment, I promise." She let out a long breath and kissed him lightly and smiled. "I want this John. I do."

"So do I, and we will take it slowly. We have all the time in the world sweetheart." He kissed her deeply and when he broke the kiss he saw she was blushing and smiled. "Do you think you will ever not blush when I kiss you in public?"

"I'm sorry John, I just do, I will…..". She fumbled with her words.

"No, no stop my sweet." He placed his finger to her mouth, "there is no need for that. I was teasing you."

She surprised him by pulling his finger into her mouth and twirling her tongue around it, sucking his finger deeper into her warm mouth. He raised his eyebrows with a grin and again she blushed. He laughed.

Their attention was drawn to the waiter; he too greeted them by name as he placed menus on the table. John ordered drinks for both of them and inquired about a certain wine before returning his attention to Cate. His eyes looked into hers deeply and he leaned closer to whisper to her. She knew what he would ask and she knew she would do it. John slid out of the booth and held his hand out to her as she stood, placing the small metal item in her hand and then kissed her lightly on the lips.

Cate made her way to the ladies room, her legs shaking the entire way. This was the first step for her. Actually she realized she had been leading up to this since the first time she met John, the first time they made love even. But what she was going to do now was different in her mind. She was giving over control to him, and even though she trusted him this was a level of intimacy she'd never shared with anyone, much less in a public place. Cate stepped into the ladies room and sat a moment in the lounge. She gathered her thoughts and courage and stood with confidence. She would take that next step.

As John saw her returning to their table, he stood again to allow her to slip into the banquette. He looked at her with pleasure, and that gave her a sense of satisfaction and confidence. He sat very close and placed his arm around her. She nuzzled in closer still. Their drinks had been delivered and as she moved to take her drink in hand she felt it for the first time. It was subtle but she no doubt felt it.

Her eyes immediately went to his, and the grin on his face made her blush yet again. He nonchalantly placed the small device on the table and fingered it; he played with it as he would play with her. She looked wide-eyed at him as if to convey her gall at his action. But she couldn't help let out a quiet laugh. He was grinning widely and she knew it was at her expense. He gave the button on the device another push and immediately her hips rose and as she settled he noticed her squirm.

"Something wrong, my dear?" His words dripped with sarcasm just as hers were.

"Nothing what-so-ever honey." She squirmed yet again, because he pushed that button again. Her eyes popped just a touch and she let out a very soft moan. John pulled her even closer to him. His hand reached to the buttons on her blouse and released one more. He said it just looked better, and she grinned at him. The two sat and whispered to one another a while. They both enjoyed the teasing banter, although it seemed John had the upper hand there too – well, more like the upper finger as he continued to press the button at his whim.

The waiter returned with salads and then took their dinner order. His eyes were on Cate and John didn't miss the waiter's long inhaling breath, John had taken one a moment earlier, smelling that unmistakable musky scent he knew so well. It hung heavily in the air at their table. Another short push on the control and Cate bore down on the leather seat and a quick 'oh' came from her mouth. Still the waiter had his eyes on her. John enjoyed watching Cate blush from the attention and was feeling a manly sense of pride that she was his, and tonight she was giving more of herself to him. The waiter could only look.

The couple ate leisurely. There was the occasional soft but quick kiss. As Cate fed John her tomatoes, he opened his mouth as her fork approached and closed around it with his eyes never leaving hers. He could see her lips part slightly as she drew in a breath, holding it until she felt that now familiar sensation between her legs. Another moan escaped her mouth as she pressed against him, letting that hot breath out close to his mouth. Her lips touched his lightly and her tongue slid over his lips before pressing into his mouth. As his finger pressed the button her hand dropped to his lap. She felt his arousal and he heard hers. She was beginning to feel a touch brazen, a feeling very new to her.

Their private moment was interrupted as the restaurant's manager came by to see his friends. John had known Mike for years and invited him to sit for a while. Mike was sitting somewhat close to Cate and the three chatted quietly and easily. When John gave that little button a press Cate reacted just as she had all evening, Mike couldn't help but notice her body move and her breath become short. He eyed John and then that small but potent device; the men exchanged knowing smiles and Cate's head dropped with another blush, she had a fleeting moment of nervousness. John slipped his arm around her and his finger caressed her jaw line then he lifted her head up.

"No need to hide your face my sweet Cate. We're all friends here." John's voice was playful enough for her to show her shy smile even though she was biting her lip.

"I'll leave you two to enjoy yourselves." Mike looked at John with a knowing glance, and then added "perhaps we can have a drink together after your meal."

He was about to swing out of the banquette when John slid the remote control closer to Mike, hitching his chin as if to say 'give it a press my friend.' Cate's eyes widened and when Mike pressed the button, she again gasped and squirmed. Mike grinned at John and then gave Cate a soft kiss on her cheek. He whispered "how lovely my dear" and then left the couple. She squeezed John's hand tightly.

"John, I can't believe you let him do that! What are you trying to do to me?" Cate pressed her chin against his chest with a nervous giggle. There was a slight conflict inside her.

He knew she wasn't really upset, just out of her comfort zone. But he knew she trusted him and he'd never do anything to betray that, ever. His arms encircled her and he felt her melt closer to him. All was well. They sat close and whispered to one another, it was so very intimate. John toyed with her as they waited for their meal and by the time it arrived Cate wasn't interested in the least. She wanted to leave, wanted to be with John, alone and in private. Her arousal was apparent – physically as well as emotionally. John fought the urge to take her home and make love; he fought the urge to take her right then and there too.

Dinner was delicious as usual, and they shared their meals with each other, feeding one another. Each time it heightened their passion, as did those touches on the button. John enjoyed being in control of her. He noticed she was becoming more openly aroused and he loved it. Cate slipped her hand to his crotch and began to stroke him but John reached down and removed it. He would deny her that pleasure for now. When he saw the look on her face, he knew it frustrated her even more. It was just what he wanted.

There was something more he wanted now, something they hadn't talked about but was sure she would do. She had shared with him how much she liked going just a little further; testing her limits, pushing them a bit. Now was one of those times. Cate was very relaxed in his arms, her legs stretched out on the seat, leaning into John and sipping her wine. John hadn't pressed that button in a while. His hands had been busy caressing her thighs under the table, and now with her turned into his body his arms around her, he slipped one hand into her blouse and let his fingers roam across her breasts. She pressed back to him harder and placed a hand on his arm, guiding it to do more. Cate was surprised by her own actions, to be so open in public gave her a sense of daring.

His hand squeezed her breast and then his finger slipped inside her bra and circled her nipple very lightly, feeling it grow and harden with his touch. Cate's head dropped back a bit and turned to place kisses on his neck and under his chin, anywhere she could reach. Her hand once again went to his crotch and once again he removed it, whispering that he'd tell her when and if she could do that, reminding her he was in control tonight. She moaned her agreement, the frustration so sweet. He whispered what he wanted next, and he heard a slight catch in her breath followed a moan of pleasure. Cate swung her legs down to the floor and straightened as John stood, again his hand out to assist her.

She stood looking up into his eyes and she saw delight. He sensed it made her happy to see and was pleased. She kissed him softly and walked off through the dining room. She concentrated on her goal, his request. Mike noticed her make her way towards the ladies room and approached her, his arm bent in a gentlemanly invitation to escort her. He gave her a sly smile and when she began to blush he chuckled and placed another soft kiss upon her cheek, this time his hand caressing her face too. Cate was surprised and quietly thanked him. Then she slipped inside to do as John had asked.

Once again John held her hand as she sat down again, slipping in behind her closely. His hand moved to her thigh. She placed her own over his and then gave him what he was looking for. His fingers drifted over the lace and he could feel her heat still held in the fabric. He kissed her long and slow. When he broke the kiss, he brought her panties close to their face and drank in her scent. His finger played on her lips as he smiled at her. They were so turned on it was taking strength not to devour each other right there. She felt such wantonness inside it surprised her, but it was there.

They continued touching, kissing and whispering to one another, John knew she wanted to leave, knew she was on the edge. He would keep her there. He loved keeping her there. John's hand caressed her leg under the table. She moaned softly and squirmed and when he lifted her leg, guiding it over his she let out a long breath. She pressed against him, quietly begging him to touch her, to give her some relief. She was pleading with her eyes, and he grinned at her. He wasn't done with her at all. It wasn't relief he had in mind.