Corbraxicodone

"He'd been a trucker for over twenty tears and had never strayed on the road. He loved my mom so much that he never even thought about it. He normally didn't take long hauls because he didn't want to be away from her for very long. He'd taken that run because the money was just too good to turn down. He wanted to take mom on a second honeymoon. By the time he got to Kansas he'd been away from her for over a week and they'd argued on the phone. It was one of those silly arguments that people have when neither can admit to being wrong. The kind that can easily just go away if either party just tells the truth and says, "I love you," or, "I miss you, I wish I was with you now." But neither one gave in. So, angry, lonely and tired he runs into you, and you know what happened right."

"Two days after he finally got home, mom was still kind of angry about him taking the longer run. She just couldn't see why he'd done it. Then while she was cleaning out his truck, she found a pair of your giant panties, and the shit hit the fan. She threw him out and filed for a divorce. Dad tried to call her literally hundreds of times, to apologize and to explain but mom wouldn't listen. She was hurt and betrayed by what he'd done. I really believe their marriage was strong enough to get over you, if they'd had time, but unfortunately they didn't. My Dad bore all of that guilt alone. He took all of the responsibility for hurting the woman he loved, and destroying our family on himself. I'm sure that eventually Mom would have forgiven him, but I don't think he'd ever have forgiven himself. Finally he just wrote a note to explain his side of the story and blew his brains out in a cheap motel less than a mile from our home." He looked across the table at me and I couldn't meet his eyes. George had heard him too and something in his eyes hardened when he looked at me.

"My mom swears she felt it when he died," the asshole said starting up again. "The day of the funeral, the tickets for their honey moon cruise arrived in the mail. That and the note he left made her realize that she'd made a huge mistake. She was never the same. Even now 2 years later just seeing a truck on the road or an ocean liner on TV can cause her to become depressed. My mom is probably around your age Darla. She's about 50, but she looks much older. It's like Dad's death just sucked the life out of her and she is slowly following him into death so they can be together again. Every time the god Damned phone rings I jump because I'm sure it's going to be someone telling me she stepped in front of a car or swallowed a bottle of pills to speed the process up."

"I became a PI just so I could learn how to track people down, with the sole purpose of finding you someday and letting you know what you've caused. Of course mine is only one story, I'm sure you've fucked up a lot more lives over the past couple of years. Sometimes I wonder how the hell you can sleep." He just shook his head and looked at me across that table again.

"Of course you don't realize it yet, but Kharma is a bitch, Darla. Someday probably very soon you're going to get some of the pain you've cause back. Someday somebody's kid is going to fuck over you, the way you fucked over so many others. It won't be me Darla, I'm not the type to go to the zoo and poke a stick at the animals. I'm only the one who gets the ball rolling, but remember my words Darla. Someday somebody's kid is going to take everything you hold dear." Then he just got up and walked away.

George came back to the table with a huge thermos full of coffee. "Thanks George, I'll return this on my next run through," I said still looking at the asshole.

"Darla, keep it. I don't know how you got to be this way, but to me you're even worse than those whores that fill this place up at night. At least they're in it for the money. They also don't have husbands and kids at home to be hurt by it. Jim is still my friend even if he doesn't drive anymore. So nest time you're out this way, stop somewhere else. I don't want you here anymore."

I went back outside to my truck, almost forgetting the envelope. Well I was alone now, so why not open it. It was probably just the results of the bastard tailing me, and his sad assed little tale, just in case he hadn't gotten to tell me this morning. Maybe even a few pictures of dear old Dad and grieving Mom. It wasn't my fault the idiot couldn't clean his own truck. Kharma, Somebody's Kid, it was all just a sour grape and bullshit sandwich. I hadn't done anything wrong, every guy I'd ever fucked was a adult with the opportunity to say no. I'd never hurt anyone, even Jim the person if anyone who would have been hurt the most had never found out and never would. And I hadn't hurt him, I'd never refused him sex, so I wasn't taking anything away from him. This was just bullshit.

Inside the envelope there was a very professional surveillance report. there were times, dates places and pictures. There was even a CD labeled last night which I was sure had video of my tryst with asshole in the back of my truck. The report was made for a company called SGS Investigations, and the client was listed as J. Mason. I went into shock. I could barely start my truck. I had to get home and try to explain this to Jim. He would never understand it. Maybe there was a chance that he hadn't received the report yet, and I could somehow stop it from getting to him. Maybe if I got home before he got the report, I could come up with some kind of explanation to lessen the impact. There was no way I could lose Jim. Without him I didn't have a life. Kharma.

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I don't know how I'd have made it through this without Shelby. She'd been the one who found the lawyer. She had also made all of the rational decisions about what to do and what to ask for. I was looking for full custody of Shelby with liberal visitation rights. I wanted 50 percent of the contents of our checking and savings accounts, and to sell the truck and the house. I owned 75 percent of the truck and I only wanted 60 percent of it. I'd already lined up a buyer. And I wanted 60 percent of the value of the house since the mortgage had been in my name, and I'd bought it while Darla wasn't working. In exchange for that the reason for the divorce would just be irreconcilable differences, as opposed to infidelity, or breach of marital contract. My lawyer was sure he could get us what we wanted.

"Come on Dad, we're going to IHOP," said Shelby. "This isn't a day for us to be moping around. I know it's not going to be a happy day, but we can make it a good one anyway. It's 9 a.m. She should be at the old house sometime in the next 3 hours. I got your cell phone changed, and she doesn't have the number here, so the only way for us to contact us is through Mr. Bertram."

"I'm sure she will as soon as she gets the divorce papers, and the report," I said sadly. "She'll want to set up a chance to see you."

"No, she won't dad," said Shelby. "She doesn't really care about me all that much. But once the lawyer tells her that you don't want to see her until you go to court or have any contact with her, she'll ask to see me, hoping for a chance to get to you. But don't worry, I've worked that out too."

"Shelby, are you sure you're fourteen?" I asked causing her to giggle. We went to IHOP for breakfast and then did the hard visit first. We went to visit Darla's Mom. She lived alone since her husband had died 4 years ago. She was glad to see us as usual and I really hated having to tell her this.

"Martha, Darla and I are getting a divorce," I said. "I wish there was some way to make this easier on you but there isn't. Of course you'll still see your granddaughter as much as ever, and maybe even more. the only thing I ask is that you respect my wishes and don't invite Darla over here if you know that Shelby and I are coming."

"Jim, I don't understand this at all. The two of you love each other. Why are you getting a divorce. What happened? Only a month ago the two of you were spooning like teenagers in that old swing out back. What happened?"

"Darla's been cheating on me, Martha," she started laughing as I said it. Then she realized that I wasn't laughing, and she stopped.

"You have to have made a mistake," she snapped. "Darla loves you, she'd never do that. I will not believe that until I hear from her." I placed the file in front of her starting with the pictures. Her eyes got bigger and her mouth just dropped open. "Maybe it's her hormones, she is almost 50 you know. When a woman's hormones go out of whack, it can lead to some strange behavior."

"Martha when your hormones went out of whack, what did you do?" I asked.

"Well, I was crabby all the time, and I had mood swings, hot flashes, and sudden bursts of crying for no reason," she said. "But everyone is different. Maybe she's like that Golfer boy, the Tiger. You know a sex addict. Maybe she can't help herself.

"Well that went better than I'd hoped for," I told Shelby as we got into the Laguna Mustang. "I was expecting her to throw me out of the house.

Before Shelby could answer, my cell phone started chirping. I answered it and put it on speaker.

"Jim, she's received the package and the divorce papers," said Bertram. She sounds like she's devastated. I could hardly make out a word she was saying. Are you sure this is what you want? I've handled a lot of divorce cases, and I've never felt worse about one. On one hand I've got you, seemingly on the verge of tears every time we talk about her. So you obviously love her a lot. And she just went to pieces on me. When two people love each other that much, there's got to be a way to work this out."

"When two people love each other one of them doesn't go out screwing everything that's not nailed down," said Shelby interrupting him. "Just stick to the plan."

"Okay, she is in the process of finding representation, and once she has, I'll sit down with them for a meeting. It is within your rights not to be present if you so choose. She will of course have the right to see her daughter."

"Why does she have the right to see me, and I don't have the right to say no?" said Shelby.

"Because young lady, you're a minor, and a custody arrangement has to be made," said Bertram.

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I got home in record time. I had never driven that fast in my life. Several times I almost lost control of the truck going around corners way too fast, but I got here. I opened the door and called for Jim. My voice echoed through the house. The house itself was eerily quiet as if no one had been here for days. There was something off about the living room, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I went into the dining room and saw the same report I'd received on the dining room table. Placed neatly beside it, there was another folder, and a letter. I picked up the letter and read it, expecting the worst and it was.

"Darla, after reading the report from the PI firm, Daddy had no other choice than to file for a divorce. It's obvious from your actions while on the road, that something is lacking not only in your relationship, but in you. How could you do this to a man who loves you so much? I will never forgive you for what you've done to him." It was signed Shelby.

The worst part was finding Jim's wedding ring under the letter. I fell on the floor crying. I must have sat there crying for over an hour before I got up and decided what to do. I would fight any divorce. I had screwed up and done it big time, but I had never stopped loving Jim, and I never would. I went into our bedroom and started crying again, but I had to be presentable when he and Shelby came in from wherever they were.

I took a shower and decided to put on one of his shirts. He loved seeing me in his shirts with my breasts about to pop the buttons. I opened his closet and went into shock again. His closet was empty, there weren't even any hangers left in it. I went across the hall to Shelby's room and as I expected it was completely empty. This was far worse than I'd expected. They had moved out on me while I was on the road. I wouldn't even get the courtesy of trying to explain or apologize. I started crying again. I called Jim's cell phone and found that the number was no longer in service. I opened the file with the divorce papers and read them carefully. Jim was obviously hurt very badly by my betrayal but still trying to be fair. He was selling the truck, and I would get 40 percent of its value even though I only owned 25 percent. The same with the house, and as I expected he was going for full custody of his daughter. There was a card from a Lawrence Bertram who was the attorney representing Jim, with a phone number.

I called the number and I really tried to be brave and professional but I just fell apart over the phone. I told him that I didn't want a divorce and I didn't think Jim did either. I was sorry for what I'd done and I'd do anything I could to make up for it. All I wanted was my husband back. I really believed that my words and tears had an effect on Bertram. He told me that he'd contact Jim and try to talk to him. He didn't think that Jim really wanted a divorce either and maybe we could see a marriage counselor. He also told me I would have to get an attorney of my own, just so we could move the process forward. Jim had asked not to have any contact at all with me, prior to our court date, and there were things that needed to be worked out before that. He told me to have my lawyer call him as soon s possible.

I looked through the phone book and called the first lawyer I saw. Helen Bendix picked up the phone on the first ring and agreed to take my case. She came right over and we sat in my dining room, discussing the case.

"I can't believe he has the balls to ask for full custody of your daughter after he cheated on you," she said.

"Jim didn't cheat on me, Miss Bendix," I said through my tears. "I cheated on him. But it didn't mean anything. None of them did. I've only ever loved one man in my entire life, and now he can't stand the sight of me."

"Uhm, that's different," said Miss Bendix. "Does he have any evidence?"

I gave her the envelope containing the PI report. "Holy shit, this is thorough," she said. "Considering all of the evidence, he's being quite reasonable actually. The one place that may give you a little wiggle room is the custody of your daughter. A judge might agree to joint custody or nesting, but I don't think the judge would give him full custody unless you agreed to it, or didn't contest it."

"Miss Bendix you said that Jim was being reasonable, but it's more than that," I said. "He's being generous. But his generosity comes with a price. That price is his daughter. I know Jim, if I try to take Shelby from him, he'll change the grounds for the divorce to infidelity and try to paint me as being the whore that I am, and go for blood in the property settlement. My reputation in this town will be destroyed, and I probably still won't win. Shelby is fourteen, not eight. I'm sure a judge would ask her a few questions, and she'd choose to be with Jim over me, any day of the week. From the day that child was born, she's been her daddy's girl."

" You know how when you give birth in the hospital, they lay the baby on the mother so they can bond. Shelby never stopped crying, even when I held her. The nurses told me that it was that way sometimes with traumatic births, but she'd cry herself to sleep. Jim came in and they let him hold her and she immediately got quiet. As soon as he put her down she started up again. That child's bond has always been with her Daddy, never me. From the day that girl was born I've been competing with her for my husband's attention."

"So what do you want, Darla?" asked Miss Bendix.

"I want what I've always wanted. I want my husband back, and to save our marriage." I said.

Over the next few weeks, I was very busy. I went to meetings with Mr. Bertram and Miss Bendix. Jim never came to any of the meetings, but I went to every meeting, just hoping for a glimpse of him. I went to see a shrink and started counseling sessions, to figure out what caused my behavior, and why I cheated on the man I love. I looked for an apartment, since we'd be selling the house soon. I asked Mr. Bertram if I could know the area that Jim had moved to so I could find an apartment near there for my visits with Shelby. I was told that my visits with Shelby would start as soon as I wanted, but she'd be brought to a neutral place, and I was to return her there when my time was up. With all of our arrangements made, it seemed like the final settlement was exactly what Jim had asked for originally.

Our court date was no different. I felt like a puppet, with someone else pulling my strings to control me. Jim wouldn't even look at me in court. He answered the Judge's questions when he had to and said nothing else. The judge spoke to me and asked me if I wanted the divorce as well. I told him the same thing I'd told everyone from the start. I told him that I didn't want a divorce, but I had no choice. I also told him that I hadn't been allowed to even speak to my husband since the whole process began. I hadn't been able to ask his forgiveness or explain anything. The judge gave me a look that said Okay we've heard from the whore, so let's move on. He asked Shelby if she wanted to live with her Dad, and suddenly I knew who was pulling the fucking strings. The little bitch gave the most masterful performance I'd ever seen.

"Your Honor, I love both of my parents," she lied. "But I think my poor Daddy needs me more. Plus I'm not sure my Mom's lifestyle or employment would be good for me. She's an over the road trucker, and she's gone for long periods of time, on no set schedule. She can see me as often as she likes, but I should live with my Daddy."

"What about visitation, young lady?" the judge began. And Shelby ratcheted her performance up a notch. She started crying hysterically and ran over to Jim so he could comfort her. In the blink of an eye, she'd gone from speaking and acting as competently as any adult, to a crying teen-aged girl. I knew she was up to something but I didn't know what. After taking a moment to compose herself. She began speaking again.

"I'm sorry your honor," she said pretending to try and hide her tears. "But Daddy told Mommy in his letter when he asked her for the divorce, that she could see me anytime she wanted, and... and she's never asked to see me even once, or to spend any time with me. I've seen my grandma, her mother more times than I've seen her. I think it's because she thinks I'm a ...." And then she started crying all over again.

"You're a what?" asked the judge. He was falling for Shelby's bullshit hook, line and sinker.

"I'm a mistake!" said Shelby tearfully. "My mommy has never really cared for me. That's why my daddy had to give up truck driving. Because he loves me and wants to be home with me so he can watch me grow up. But she couldn't wait to get out on the road and get away from her mistake."

Every eye in the courtroom including Miss Bendix looked at me as if I was a child molester, maybe worse. Society can sometimes accept that those men are mentally challenged, or just broken. But a mother who abandons her child is far worse.

Believe it or not, it was Jim who came to my rescue. For a moment there I thought I was about to be sentenced to life at hard labor, even though this was a divorce hearing. I was sure the Judge was going to come up with a way to charge me with something and send me away, until Jim started speaking.

"Your Honor," he said. "We've moved away from what we started talking about. We were discussing custody and visitation. I'd love to have custody of my daughter. I've spent most of her life watching her become the incredible young woman she is, and I'd like to continue doing that. I love her more than anyone else in the world, and taking care of her isn't a job, or a responsibility, it's a pleasure. But I'd also like for there to be a lot of contact and visits with her mother. An unlimited amount, because I think as Shelby grows and matures especially in these next few years, she's going to need to talk to another woman. My daughter needs someone who can explain the female side of things to her. Maybe they don't get along right now, but I'm hoping that in time she and her mother will form a connection of sorts. I'd also like it though, if the court could assign someone to look over a schedule of regular visits, to make sure it was adequate, and after a period of time, renegotiate it if either party was unhappy with it."