All Comments on 'Cover Blown'

Don't quit your day job

The premise was good, if a bit done already. The writing was odd, though, and didn't have any flow. Trying to make the reader feel like they are the bad guy by putting them in that POV doesn't work.

An undercover agent that goes in without a plan or backup? That's nonsense. An undercover agent that's attractive, female, graduated college, and is a VIRGIN? That's stretching credibility. What woman would really wait that long before having intercourse? It might have been different if you had spent any time on a back story that gives the reader some sense of the agent's history and beliefs.

And, that was the biggest problem with this story, IMO. You skipped the beginning and the middle, taking the reader straight to the end. Combine that with an odd writing style that needed a dose of flow and the story fell sadly short. I'll rate it at three stars because it had potential.

At least it was short.

It's not a bad idea, but you need to give your characters time to develop. The beginning of your story was confusing until I realized the POV you were writing from. Strange, but not in a good way. Good luck with your continued writing.

Don't listen to the negative comments, they're nitpicking - it's a perfectly good story as it is, though it would be great if you continued it!

Okay. It's not that bad. I just think you could use a little more time to come up with a more logical plot. Some of what you wrote didn't make sense. Do a little research then make your charcaters a little more believable. Good start. Just consider this your rough draft.

sense of requirements. TK U MLJ LV NV

Great pace, well written so thank you for this story :)

I liked the setting, woman captured and broken into changing sides.

But... story seems to be... impersonal. Antagonist's plot succeed due to too many coincidences (Solo action, no plan). No description of characters (no names, no physical attributes - except man having monstrous cook and woman's ample bosom).

Shortly, there is room for improvement.

I don’t like stories where it sounds like they’re addressing me. I prefer POV of the people involved or narrator type