All Comments on 'Crisscross'

Some people come hours early to watch it. I don't. The ending to the batting practice is all weighted and preordained in favor of the batter. Me ? I like the element of doubt, so that means watching big league pitcher versus big league hitter.

Hannibal Smith loves it when a perfect plan comes together. Hitchcock and Hannibal Lector have made their bones when that perfect preparation goes awry. It's not easy to write great stories about being in that moment and having to improvise when things go to hell in a handbasket. When Flavian dares to chance that moment ; that's when he gets full marks from me. ***

Thanks for sharing, Looking forward to future submissions.

its nice to keep their stories straight and get rid of any evidence, TK U MLJ LV NV

Great start. Keep writing against all cheaters. All deserve to live in pain, whether physical or psychological. Five Stars

What a great start to writing in Lit (Loving Wives). I enjoyed reading your story and I hope to read many more in the near future. Thankyou for sharing.

I recognize the plot and I can't think of a more appropriate place to use it. Too bad that it is a far too dangerous scheme to use in real life. Too many loose ends: witnesses, accomplices, and the characters unprofessional desire to discuss it.

One wonders if Frank arranged another 'criss cross' with some other guy to arrange Sybil's disappearance.

Thank you for not being a cuckold writer, however you need to be careful of continuity

"as I drove away from our home of the previous four years--one year of living together followed by three years of supposedly happy marriage-"

"First, Sybil, my wife of eight years, was not there."

Which is it? together a year then married 3, or married 8 years?

Between trying to be Hitchcock and"namwdropping" almost every single author in the genre I feel like you're trying to substitute pseudo cleverness for an actual decent story. The easy way rather than the actual work. Had you bothered to submit this to an editor of quality you could have fixed some stunningly broken problemd.

For example, you have a PI who is apparently the third rapist and blackmailer or at least watched it unfold, based on the way he documentred everything going on. Thats just fucking damaged. Then you have Joyces hubby bitching about trust after despite the fact that he was unable go do shit to prevent her from being raped and despite the fact that his brand new buddy not only let her be blckmailed without a word despite reports from his P I of what was happenin.

Its that complete lack of enpathy for a rape victim that makes me really want to fucking hate you but i do recognize it as a writing error and that if this were real life you are probably not a neabderthal cunt who thinks that a rape is about the husband rather than the victim.

You do realize that you ket both CRIMINALS off the hook for felony rape and blackmail right? They can still blackmail Joyce, but theyre mord likely to just go find a new victim once the damage heals up. Why? Because these assholes did nothing but petty revenge. He didnt defend his wife, he just avenged his own hurt feelings.

The story is okay almost passable, and id probably have given you a First Story pass on the criticism and rating but the sheer manipulativeness of namedropping in order to have your own associated with those names undermines respect. More importsntly you did not credit the actual source of your inspiration for the story - which was obv to at least one other reader besides myself. What the fuck?

And a great play on the two men on a train plot line (was it double indemnity?)

To make it more like real life you could have changed the police interviews slightly.

Any policeman ( or woman) worth their salt, would have kept the affair from the husband for as long as possible, hoping to put pressure on the wife to come clean, and tell all she knew. By concentrating on the wife, they give the husband time to sweat.

Sorry if it sounds like nit picking. On the whole I liked it, especially the ending. I thought maybe the Lady cop was going to say "Gerardo is just about fit enough to face the blackmail charge. His reproductive organs don't work so well, but he won't need them where he's going." Her husband chips in with "Aw come on honey, he can still bend over pretty well."

Sorry again couldn't resist it. Just shows your story was interesting enough to make me think about it afterwards, allways a plus. Well done and keep it up.

Took awhile to keep up with the time jumps but a good story. It's a pleasure to read a story where the men keep their junk intact. So many WACC writers dropping their loser stories into LW it's nice to have you here. Oh yeh WACC = Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckold, men that accept cheating wives

This story is the LW equivalent to the calssic film; "Strangers on a Train."

Very nice.

A very entertaining story. Look forward to seeing more of your stories.

Thanks for sharing.

Well written, does what needs to be done, and kicks ass against the cheating assholes and sluts!

5 Big Stars!

Oh, and thanks for the honorable mention in your Afterword. :)

I was surprised it ended so abruptly. A very nice flash story of sorts.

This story lacks a real ending needs a part 2

long ways to go.

Looks like you are quite the reader. I enjoyed the originality. A follow up chapter 2 would tidy up the loose ends, And that missing/disappearing wife could be another whole story all by itself!? I will look forward to reading more. Soon. Thankx RainySeattle

Fun to read, 5* and looking forward to your next story

To thank Alfred Hitchcock

Still if you're going to steal, steal from the best

5*

You can add one more author to that list... Flavian!

You stated in your comment..."Thank you for not being a cuckold writer, however you need to be careful of continuity

"as I drove away from our home of the previous four years--one year of living together followed by three years of supposedly happy marriage-"

"First, Sybil, my wife of eight years, was not there."

Which is it? together a year then married 3, or married 8 years?"

These two statements were written about the TWO different wives (a clue was the paragraphs had the different husbands names on top). Please re-read the story before making silly comments.

It was an entertaining tale of revenge. And it was good as far as it went. But I do wonder whether or not the two married Police Officers had some idea that the two of them were in cahoots. And I do wonder what happened to the missing wife. Missing or dead? And I was good with your thanking a couple of authors but you did seem to get a little carried away with ALL those names. MM, for one, hasn't written a decent story - EVER. He writes well, but all his men are the most spineless, wimpy men you can find here in Lit. Anywho - keep after it.

Enjoyed this immensely. Can't wait for your next one!

for the ultimate definition of the CUCKOLD AVENGER. Your long list of cuckold authorities support this. The epotime of the CUCKOLD AVENGER is boundless cowardice. A P.I. and spying technology, Oscar acting talent, expertise in divorce procedure, money manipulation, and always always always using someone else to swing the baseball bat. The CUCKOLD AVENGER would shit his pants to even look at the bull that satisfies the wife. You give us the last and only definition. Thank you. 5*****

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dagoatmandavid said C ya later

Maybe inspired by other stories but that does not stop this being a really good read.

In the postcript A.A.NEMO and HAPPYHUGO have not published in LW only in SOL.

Testacles? Try testicles, okay? Good reading. I like a bit of violent revenge in BTB stories. Look forward to more of your work. Cheers!

I found your story most interesting; certainly a five.

Cheating wives and detective fiction.

Nicely executed.

And thanks for the name check. That really made my day!

"for the ultimate definition of the NON-CUCK. Your long list of Consequences authorities supports this. The epitome of the NON-CUCK is keeping his self-respect and having the intellect and intestinal fortitude to do what needs to be done.. A P.I. and spying technology to get the goods on the cheating wife doesn't hurt. Oscar worthy acting talent, expertise in divorce procedure, money manipulation, and always, always, ALWAYS having the common sense to take revenge and stay out of jail while doing it. The NON-CUCK would beat the living shit out of, and then shit on the fucktard that seduced his wife, when he can get away with it and not end up in prison. Otherwise, he does what he did in this tale and uses the "two men on a train" scenario. You give us the last and only definition. Thank you. 5*****"

Yes, much better!

@Anonymous "Thank you!!!!!"

There. Your comment has been fixed, including several misspellings and punctuation errors. LOL

Give it five stars. What no one complaining that the gentleman in counseling is a wuss? The author was quite clever setting up a way for them to have contact, but personally I think that it would be safer to have no contact.

Really enjoyed your story. Nicely written. Nice salute to many of the other authors who keep us entertained. Did miss one writer, he has this unatural love affair with mustang automobiles, Stangstar06. thanks

But I would NOT have included SS06.

His stories are usually lacking sensibility.

For first attempt this is a very well thought out story. I would have liked some sex written in to the story. However the plot and characters work very well. The story could have been a little longer and there is room for chapter 2 for the future, as in what ever happened to Sybil ! ?

One can sense the presence of the authors mentioned, without feeling that any one of them particularly intrudes.

the backwards and forward style was irritating and confusing. It only started to clear as the story sort of got going when the two men sat down and cleared up the confusion. i suspect that any story that went like the following would score highly.

I caught my wife cheating and beat the fuck out of the guy. Then I went home and verbally and physically abused her. i cant understand why she would cheat on me when I am such a tolerant attractive personality.

What a nice set-up for revenge. BTB! I loved it!

To Flavian:

Good read, for a first story. I gave it 4 stars (really liked it, good read).

While I am not a punctuation, spelling and grammar nazi, you had a few errors and your work would benefit by the use of a good editor. Still, I have read MUCH worse on here, many times. So again, for a first story... well done.

To the anon, "badly disjointed", just a quick comment... I managed to follow the story fine, what's your problem? I think most other readers got by with his offering too. The story is not perfect, but as a first attempt, a great effort. At least this author contributed.

one way to get revenge and strike a blow for truth, TK U MLJ LV NV

B T B BRIGADES

As a few have pointed out, there are a few minor flaws, but this is a great story. Well done Flavian! I've read many stories that were NOT first effort (some were tenth & eleventh try...or so--LOL) that I didn't enjoy as much as this one. Keep going! I can't wait to read more of your work.

in ways more than one, TK U MLJ LV NV

This was certainly a nice one. Please keep writing!!

One hand washes the other! Good story! Good depiction of on-duty (later, off-duty) law-enforcement tactics. Nice distinction between malicious cheating (Sweetie2) and blackmailed cheating (Sweetie1!)

Very comprehensive list of inspiration authors!

Well-deserved.

4.8 = 5*

Your authors that are your favorites are mine to. Keep writing.

Just caught this intriguing story. Very interesting depiction of a possible BTB scenario. Thanks for including me in the writers that inspired you. I will read more of your work.

Woodmanone

Couldn't agree more with your list of writers most all are mine too. A few I will have to check out. Sadly too many have not written for a number of years!!!

Please DO keep writing. I will keep reading. Even if I am way behind I will get caught up some day. Thank you for sharing

"You did make sure to get rid of that bat, didn't you?" Just confirms what we knew already. I have to laugh at the Anonymoose (yes it's misspelled on purpose) ranting and raving about the story. Wonder if he/she/it would rant and rave at Farley Granger, Robert Walker and Alfred Hitchcock. At least in your story no one was killed.

Sybil learned about the beatings of her two friends in time to disappear?

She was obviously in on the setup and a regular at the bar next to the motel.

It also makes me wonder how often she met those two, or others, there?

Much better than 'Game Time' which was burdened with too much baggage. This was well written & more aligned with the audience of Loving Wives stories.

Well written, to the subject and, above all, more believable in outcomes.

and a switch hitter can face both pitchers. TK U MLJ LV NV

I love how you made it so Joyce was drugged and Doug actually did the right thing when he found out. It's nice when the wife isn't a cheating bitch. I guess I just like happy endings.

She may have been drugged, but that merely sped the process along sooner. She was going to cheat, either way. Why do you think she was there? Why did she go back, time and again, to hear of the other woman's exploits? She was titilated. Why do you think she kept going back, when the 2 men started to show up? One reason, and one reason only, she was building up to cheat herself.

Immensely satisfying! It's a mistake to take them out anywhere near the wife. Near their home or work would seem more random, at least in my experience...

And a fun outcome - the cops now "know" the answers but will likely not even try too hard to prove anything.

Throw momma from the train good -

I guess the fact that Joyce was drugged is why he stayed with her. But where the hell is Sybil? Ahhh fuck her.

Thank you very much. May we have some more, please?

statement that all the characters make in these stories about how if the guy is still angry at his cheating wife he still has some love for her. Sounds like severe psycho - babble to me. You can be mad at someone and not love them, really.

I read a ton, hate willing cuckolds and believe in revenge. Good story.

"Now, I was headed to my already-arranged hotel room for a week's stay." - Wouldn't it be suspicious if the police check and find out that had already arranged for a hotel room?

A cuckold "Strangers On A Train"

What you said, absolutely agree!

is not a fool proof solution, but it is a conversation starter, TK U MLJ LV NV

Electrifying and satisfying on one level but not deep enough to rate high.

Needed to hear from Joyce about her experience.

Did she give the bastard her ass while not drugged?

Did she swallow his cum?

Doing that shit with someone you are cheating on your husband with before him is absolutely deadly to a reconciliation.

A little thin but OK

I can't help but comment on some of the other readers comments since they are very disturbing.

silentsound - I know you most likely still live in your mothers basement and don't get out much but if you plan on coming out and interacting with normal folks, especially females, PLEASE GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP !!!

I didn't flow very well to start... and it felt like huge portions were missing... it kinda came together in the latter part... but this is one those stories that you pick up much later... and rework and flesh out... and it becomes a really great story... as it stands now tho... it just has far to many missing parts... to rise above average...

-jaye-

Hey anon.

Get a name.

I turned down more pussy by the time I was 15 than most men in their 40's ever sniffed.

This is literotica. Questions about swallowing cum and anal sex are common and expected.

The last time I lived with my mom was when I was 15 and the shitty whore was fucking a guy barely older than me and I fought a drug dealer off of her who was getting rough with her.

Just fuck off pussy.

Obvious bat is obvious. But do we conclude the same about the missing spouse? My desire for symmetry says one stroke of revenge was dealt for each couple, so having one also "disappear" doesn't make sense...because that's two strokes on one side, and one on the other. Maybe I just didn't pay enough attention to the story. It was difficult.

The story could have been improved in a number of ways. I'll mention one. The narrator shouldn't have been able to see in the husband's thoughts when it came to the cops. The time shift is where you'd reveal that, but they were impotent. Then again they were impotent, not destructive.

Yeah he finally got his wife's ass,.. after she gave it to someone else. So everytime he gets ready to stick his dick in her he'll imagine that other asshole fucking her. No way a man with any self respect ever gets past something like that. That's a real bullshit aspect of these stories when the husband gets crap like that forced out of his mouth.

My favorite story involves BTB, but I like it even more when the cheating bastard suffers permanent damage.

... conversation was terribly unnatural.

she chose to willingly fuck her "rapist"

I'd jettison her ass

Strangers on a Train and Throw Momma from the Train...

Good pedigree doesn't mean the story isn't also good. What better way to set things fight? I enjoyed it very much.

Very entertaining story, I liked it that one is trying again and one ran. Good job on the story flow also. 5 stars.

My favorite Flavian story. This is just a cool story about bros over hoes.

Could Joyce be taken back. The whore just kept playing with fire till she got burnt. Big deal, she gave her husband her ass like sloppy seconds. Every time he looks at her ass he's got to thinks of some other guy assfucking her first. That will erode the libido of any man. No, that cheating slut would have to go.

Giving this one another 5. A few holes. Like the cops would surely have contacted the PI and found out he had discovered both women and their relationship. But still like that the story..

gamblnluck

If the private investigator witnessed a woman being drugged, why would he not intervene?

Legally, the PI's evidence of a potential 'date rape' drug being used should've been turned over to the appropriate authorities. GOOD story, though! Excellent plot twists, even the ending where they coppers stumble onto them. But, what the authorities KNOW and what they can PROVE are often far different things!

Strangers on a train,

A classic tale. Unfortunately (for those who actually end up in this situation) trusting someone else to do your dirty work, while a clever way to get a rock solid alibi, is an extremely risky gambit. What if one of them died and it turned to murder? What if the wife who was drugged got hurt? Too many variables. BTB but be smarter than this

I'm tired of the references to exotic beers and liquors. WHY can't the author just say " he grabbed a beer" or "he poured a drink" .It jus bothers me. We don't care what he drinks.

I know it's a story but I don't get these blackmail rape stories; she could've easily go get her blood tested and maybe get footage from the bar or something. Instead she went back again. With that being said, he should've begone for the divorce instead of taking her back or at least a separation. It's too bad there was no dialogue from the wives, otherwise other than what I just said it was an ok story for the simple fact the lovers got their payback.

Interesting take on the "Strangers on a Train" motif.

Ok story though I felt more could have come out in the aftermath.

And the private investigator seeing someone drugged and about to be raped, did not do anything?

I do not blame the wife for coming back. You can't expect rape victims to think coherently.

I think the cops did know what happened but just did not want to investigate further.

Nah

PS. You forget to credit Agathe Christie in your epilogue, as the originator of this base plot device!

R.S.

Loved it! Great Story!! I also like your list of authors..

Like your list of Authors. Guess that they each beat up the other guy that messed with their wives but it wasn't really clear to me. Do like that the bat wielding guy just stared at the wife when he was done, like your next "sweetheart". LOL

Are an amazing author wish you were still writing.

Good story. Liked it. Did Frank dispose of Sybil? Probably not but is unclear. Never under the blackmail threat of extramarital sex to demand more extramarital sex. Her reaction seemed genuine as her world collapsed with the discovery. Anyways why empower the blackmailer. Will never get out of it without either recording their blackmail and go to the authorities or getting physical payback or somehow kompramat on the blackmailer. She was drugged and raped. Probably didn't remember a whole lot of the first incident. Caved to blackmail. Can understand in I stances of threat so physical violence to loved ones and self, or even severe legal or financial ruin. In thr latter, maybe buy time with one or two "sessions" to get ahead of the threat and get help. In case of physical violence, maybe acquiesce temporarily but then go to authorities. But just continuing to allow herself to be raped (blackmail sex is rape!) is disappointing. At least there was only one time under threat of blackmail. Should be reconcilable but needs therapy for her (rape trauma therapy) and counseling for them and a lot of patience. Yes she should have sought help from her husband and trusted him and she made a mistake but wasn't like multiple months and many trysts. There are extraordinary circumstances, she was raped with drugs, then raped with blackmail, and there wasn't enough time to somehow change her personality or her sexual preferences. She felt extremely guilty didn't know about the drugs, and had no intention of cheating. She just didn't show enough trust in her husband and panicked. Now Sybil is a piece if work. What a head case. Grooming other women for the two predators.

2 stars for the reconciliation with Joyce.

Good story

To the critics who want to have Joyce burned: grow up. She was drugged and raped. Then blackmailed for sex (which is also rape btw). After her first trauma, she was not thinking rationally and wanted it to somehow disappear. She went through thr blackmail sex once. Yes she should have reached out to her husband but rape victims have some bad trauma. Sybil was an absolute witch. Glad Doug and Joyce will work it out.

Totally agree with previous commenter.

Joyce was drugged and raped because she was with the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time. all her choices, nobody forced her. Then she covered it up and said nothing to her husband. Sorry, no pity for the bitch and believe he's a fool for taking her back. She'll fuck around on him again, now that she knows he's a sissy wimp cuck