by xxxxbigonesxxxx
Excellent story. Brothers and sisters should fuck. It feels good and it is great exercise.
This story sucked for so many different reasons. #1) You're 21 and 18 and you polished off a bottle of champagne, then had a few more drinks, yet you were just starting to get "buzzed" when you got to the club? AMAZING!
#2) You used the word Amazing way too many times... it made you sound like a moron. #3)A SMELT is a fucking FISH! So, if your sister's pussy SMELLED like a SMELT, she had problems! And, #4 Your paragraphs were way too long. Coupled with the fact that there was little to no dialogue and the sex scenes (as well as the rest of the story) were about as beliveable as a politician during a presidental election, I have to say it was fucking AMAZING that I bothered to read through the whole thing!
Didn't I just read a clone of this story a couple of months ago? Spelling and editing are needed, too.
Once again, we face a script that could be taken straight out of a porn movie. Geez!! Just once, be natural and keep to reality. Get off your flying pig, man!
The same plot was told a coulp months ago for one. that a lot of drinking. and if she had 38DD way didn't you have a 10' cock. it need more detail longer for paly, you fuck her one time that night and was done with the tail, other you fuck a time or two a day, it need to be longer, was fair foe a first time i guess
I liked your story. I think that a brother and sister should have sex. There is nothing wrong with it. If it feels good and makes you happy do it. If you want to talk about it write me. I love getting mail.
WHY WHY WHY... do people copy someone else's story and try to pass it off as their own? Do they think we are stupid and don't remember reading an almost IDENTICAL story just a few weeks ago. Give it a rest! Oh and by the way, 38DD for her and no 8+ inches for you? Must of been a typo! LOL
I'm writing this comment, hoping that your story wasn't a copy or re-write of another story, and giving you my honest opinion. The story was okay. I liked the premise of a true brother/sister sexual relationship, but it needed more editing and less repeating. More dialogue would also make the story a little more believable. When I say "less repeating", I am referring to things like, "When we got there, there wasn't many people there." It would sound much better if it had been written, "There weren't many people when we arrived, so we decided to..."
I'm not sure how good the editors are on Literotica, but there were several spelling errors that most people could have caught if they had re-read the story after writing it. Don't be in too much of a rush to submit a story. Be your own editor, then ask someone else to edit it for you. If you are uncomfortable with the subject matter about which you have written, then ask a Literotica editor to edit it for you. It may take a few extra days to see it appear with the new submissions, but your readers will appreciate it and your score may reflect it. Most importantly, however, never resubmit someone else's story as your own; even if you change some of the information to make it appear different, like the names of the characters, the names of businesses, or the name of the city or country where the story takes place, it will still sound copied and the readers won't appreciate reading the same story twice.
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...and bad!
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Reads like it's written by a sub-literate 14yo.
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Come on Lit editors - get stuff like this off the site...
Liked the story, but I must criticise some of your grammar. You fall into the same trap that thousands of others fall into - that of knowing when to say "you and I" and when to say "You and me". The rule is actually extremely simple. Substitute (in your mind) "we" or "us", and then replace with "we = you and I"; "us = you and me".
Stopped at the Double D's and the way the story started - seems if you would like to copy anothers story you could at least find one that was a few years old, that I just might not remember.! Get a life and read a Comic book and go back and finish the 3rd grade.!!
First off I want to thank you for trying. With that said the story needs a lot of work. Don't say it is a true story because that turns people off. Readers want to read fiction and fantasy, not how someone else had sex. If the woman is slim she can't have 44DD breasts or whatever size they were. the number is the size around the ribcage and a 44 would be someone who is at least 200 pounds.
This may be the worst attempt I have seen so far. It was way beyond awful! Not only was it plagiarized, but I've seen fifth graders who are more literate. Please do us all a favor and FORGET ABOUT SUBMITTING ANYTHING ELSE!
You should be fucking your sister more than once a week, hell pound that pussy every night.Let Mom catch you and then talk mom into some young hard cock and tasty wet pussy.I hope like hell that you do and then knock both of them up. Just think how sexy it would to see both your sister and your Mom walk around with their bellies full of your babies. Good start to a series.....Rich
Soon your writing will include the yes/no tease, which will improve the outcome alot. This was a great first story. Please keep writing.
i'm not sure why, but I didn't enjoy this. I think it's because there is very little about how you and your sister are feeling, and thinking. The mind is capable of great erotisism.
Hey your stories are good - people like them and are just frustrated with the installments of chapters - the snowman story is great - I keep checking for more...
Just keep writing ;)
Dude, if you're gonna get annoyed at somebody for using the word 'smelt' because it's a type of fish, you should check out this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smelt
His usage of the word was correct.
i find it funny that people are ragging on him for using the word smelt, and saying its a
type of fish. Its not, he used it correctly, people are think of smelts with an S at the end which is a group of small fish. and yes i know its ironic that people, most of all americans are illiterate and need to FUCKING read a book, before saying wrong and dumb
125 lbs with a 38DD bust and slim body?
Bullshit. Not without elective surgery.
I can only hope under the Trump administration we get a better quality of "true" stories out there from this country
If this is a true story I am the pope. It is a good thing you gave up writing because your skills sucks
This is such a crap story!!!! Check your spelling man!!! It lacks imagination F
The same thing happened to us and we are like married 15 yrs later with 2 perfect kids😎
I do understand some comments like that the story is fake or that I am the Pope if they did etc.They should check in the dictionary the word FANTASM!When reading the story,, just think about a fucking and loving each other.BETWEEN A SISTER AND HER BROTHER!!Just think its true .!!!This will get you excited and after having jacked and cummed..you will not think about it till the next reading!
So if I had a sister with big tits, I would do the same and fuck her while on a cruise ship. So when I was younger me and my cousin had sex together, but only thing we did was that she gave me a plenty of blowjobs, played with her big tits and finger fucked her. So now she lives in Kansas City, Mo and I keep thinking about her everyday about her and that I would like to go back there and finish off where we left off at, but do a lot more than what did when she was here. So I would do a lot more like the fucking, eating her pussy and maybe try some anal fucking.
This looks so true.
I wish there was more brother sister sex with proper contraceptive so no children are born from such sex. Just simple enjoyment.
You write like a 14-year old. This could have been an interesting story but you managed to bastardize it with terrible grammar and primitive vocabulary. As the title says - don't give-up your day job.
Olin siskon kanssa laivalla. Menimme hyttiin nussimaan. Me olimme kiimassa, kuten aviopari. Tyydytimme toistemme seksitarpeet. Metta on laittanut pessaarin, emme tarvinneet kondomia. Ei raskautta,vaan rakkautta.
Awesome!And specially that when I have really experienced same with my sister Sue.I was nearly 18 and my sister 25.My Dad,after having won a big amount in the national lottery,booked a cruise.for two suits.One for Mum and one for Sue and me.We had a big king size bed and several different drinks and fruits.and all other facilities. Sue and me were not that close but secretly I was very close to her for having peeped at her nude body hundred of times.we were a bit shy about our undressings though there was the bathroom. On the third day after having a good time with our parents we went back to our suit snd after having drunk some wine,we watched a movie with very hot scenes.I had a terrible.hard on while I noted that my sister was crossing and uncrossing her beautiful legs.We then decided to go to bed and to.my astonishment,I saw Sue undressing before me.She layed on her back with only a white satin thong on her.I also layed on the bed with only my slip and Sue saw my big crotch..Instinctively we looked at each other and we started to kiss each other. Her lips had the taste of honey..She opened her legs and when I touched her thong,I noted that it was already wet .I put one side of her thong aside,and OMG,when I put two fingers into her pussy,they were like in a...river.I then added another finger and fucked her with 3 fingers..She started to cry louder and louder and asked me to suck her pussy.And when my tongue touched her pussy,She was no longer under control that she came several.times,tellingme very dirty wordsShe then knelt on the bed and sucked my hard cocklike an hungry woman.She then sat on me,taking my cock in her hands and putting it inside her wet pussy.She rode me like.a wild horse.I sucked her tits putting love bites on.her boobs and she had time to tell me to.put the bites under her boobs because the parents would noticed them when she will wear her bikini.We fucked like rabbits during three or four hours in all sort of positions.We both came several times but for Sue it was five times more than me!We then slept and if the parents had not knocked at the door,we would have probably woken up around 2 pm.Sue took her clothes and quickly went into the bathroom and me I put my T Shirt on.When Mum entered the room she sniffed and said.."Hum,there is a smell of pussy in this room..Im sure you must have brought in the beautiful blonde you were talking with yesterday. But what's about Sue??"I told her that she met a guy and had slept in his cabin and that she came in 10 mins ago and was taking her shower.She smiled and said"Fine,we look forward to know him.Later on ,Sue chose a good looking guy who immediately dated her.She secretly told Mum that he was the guy I talked about.However,Sue dropped him after 3 days and we continued to fuck during the cruise remaining days and even when we went back home.Time.has elapsed;I am now married when I was 27 and Sue NOT.So we still fuck whenever possible.
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Unlike a lot of people who commented who is scared to say how they really feel about this story im not this story sucked do us all a favor and stop trying to write erotica or any type of story for that matter cause its clear you don't grasp the concept of what it takes nor process the know how to write a decent story much less a good story im really glad you dont try to make a living out of writing cause you would fail badly this attempt of a story is a epic fail