All Comments on 'Cryin' in the Rain'

Don't stop now. Please finish and I like the little sister or Sarah. Thanks for writing.

It has been suggested that there needs to be a chapter to this rather ordinary and somewhat boring story. Several of the more moronic pathetically stupid readers have asserted that the marriage has to be resolved -- (whatever the fuck that means).

No it doesn't. And no this boring story does not need a second chapter. The wife had full knowledge of who jimmy was and what he had done to her five years early. She could not have been " tricked" or " surprised" by anything that Jimmy did. The wife knowingly and willingly fucked Jimmy and did so within 1 hoursof Jimmy showing up . There is No marriage to " save"

The DEFENSE is double and triple teaming the offensive lineman? You play fucked up football in Michigan.

I don't think we need to BTB - she has demonstrated the capacity to do that to herself. I think the best revenge would be to ignore her and live well without her. As long as there is some kind of connection so she knows about it.

Would be nice if there is some sort of payback for Jimmy just to get his attention and convince him to leave Dylan alone in the future. In the log run, I think he will self destruct, too. Possibly with the help of some distraught father or significant other seeking revenge.

Now we come to Dylan's "Happy ever after". Obviously have to have him happily in love with some woman who will appreciate and be true to him. Could that be Sarah? Possibly, but there is the Jimmy history/connection to deal with. She did leave him, so maybe that could work out. Abby would have an "in your face" aspect with regards to Gretchen and Jimmy that could be satisfying and would provide the way to make sure that Gretchen is aware of how well Dylan is doing. Or there could be some entirely new lady on the horizon.

However you wrap this one up, I'm eagerly awaiting the final chapter to this story!

I rarely make a comment on Literotica submissions, as I just visit the site to enjoy the efforts of those who indulge us with their stories.

BUT what really pisses me off is the rantings of half-minds who resort to verbal abuse, insult etc. to the works of those who at least contribute.

I mean it's really bloody simple - if you don't like the theme or plot or WTF when you read someone's contribution - don't read anymore of the authors' stories or the category or whatever and go to a non-erotic site and vent you vitriol, homophobia, sexism etc; find God! Walk the dog! Wank! JUst bugger off if the stories piss you off!! Because, your asinine dickheadery really is a crock of shit we could do without!!!

u continually suprise me with ur little twists and turns lol.. love it! and maybe hook dylan up with the lil sis so his soon 2 b ex can feel the pain evrytime their around her @ least 4 a rebound but thtz not dylans way.. he'll probably find sarah again.. cant wait 2 read wat u decide.. thanx =)

Jimmy has told Greta in plain language just what kind of a narcissist he is and she still lets him hang around and use her.

Dylan has known all along who and what his brother by another mother (and father) is.

Sarah is ancient history.

the little sister would always be too close to Greta for comfort.

it doesn't matter who was eavesdropping at the bar.

With so many car companies being international rather than limited to a single country, does the firm he works for have an engineering department overseas? If so, he accepts a major promotion, moves far, far away, meets someone new that is not a hand-me-down, and spends the rest of his life singing in the rain.

got to finish

please continue, thanks :)

But please finish it dont do another JPB n let it stew

...who are married to the protagonist, are usually brain dead bimbo's that couldn't spell K-A-T. Jimmy needs to spend his life in a mental institution from the beating he eventually takes from Gretchen's FIL, and Gretchen needs to end up pregnant with Jimmy's baby once again, giving birth to at least a set of twins and works in Walmart.

Our protagonist needs to stay AWAY from Gretchen's sister, I get tired of that story line on Lit. He needs this new state, a higher paying salary and an actual loving wife who doesn't cheat, they can buy a home, have the white picket fence and a couple beautiful little cracker crunchers. The story should have Gretchen finding out after the fact he is remarried, is doing fine financially and is living the American dream.

@Anonymous “I skipped right to the end” – If you read the BEGINNING you would see that there WILL be a conclusion, that Stang has several ideas, and is looking for reader input.

You should be glad that he will be taking readers’ wishes into account!

@Anonymous “No cigar” – Again, you apparently didn’t read the intro where he clearly says there WILL be an ending.

I realize that this is just a story, but if we are to believe the story at all then Dylan had potential NFL-caliber talent.

It defies credibility that he would just walk away from that just because Jimmy's football life ended, I don't care if they were ACTUAL twin brothers!

Please continue the story.

my vote is for Sarah to reappear in Florida. I will accept Abby as a consolation prize though. I think Gretchen should be the one to completely destroy Jimmy when she figures out what she's lost.

Would have rated it much higher if you had ended it

my vote is that sarah comes back with his kid in tow.

I would say there was some sort of hope for Dylan and gretchen, but her own words spell doom for them.It is obvious she didn't love Dylan, she in effect used him to bolster herself after Jimmy split,she in a softer way is as much of a user as Jimmy. She after everything Jimmy has done,after seeing his true attitude towards her,still thinks that having Jimmy and Dylan is the perfect husband,and that is sick.She sees Jimmy for what he is,knows he only wants her to be his bitch he lives off,yet still thinks Dylan would be pefect with jimmy.You could try the psycho babble route and Gretchen really loves him but never really recovered after the breakdown after Jimmy left,or after Dylan beats up Jimmy she suddenly sees his inner bad boy and loves him,but to be honest when you write her feelings it kind of says she is hopeless,she is so shallow and messed up there is no way they can reconcile.We could have a bizarre SS ending where Dylan becomes a bad boy wrapped in a good boy and Gretchen lover him,but that would be too far out.

The other factor in this story is the parents,despite gretchen's father they are myst eriously detached,dylan's paren't telling gretchen not to get in the middle is weird,and where are Jimmy's parents?Are they such trash that they by this point wouldn't be ashamed and embarrassed enough to get Jimmy the hell out of there?It is like the parents think some weird shit that Jimmy and a Dylan are such that you let things happen with them and whatever happens,happens.

And of course,Gretchen is gonna get knocked up,and then I can see several possible paths: 1)We find out it is Dylans,and this makes Dylan feel guilty,and he takes back Gretchen w Jimmy finally cleaning up his act,telling Dylan he was always jealous of him,etc,etc,and the schmaltz starts flowing 2)the baby is dylans,but gretchen dies,then Dylan finds true happin essence after mourning his kid and kicking the shit out of what is left of Jimmy 3)the baby is jimmy's,and he runs off,and Dylan decides to be it's dad 4)gretchen has a horrible life with Jimmy,then years later runs into Dylan and tells him she really loved him but was too stupid to know it.Given the way gretchen is,I don't think reconciliation would work,Dylan knows she never loved him really,and that Jimmy just made it impossible.If you can make reconciliation work it would be a coup,but based on what is here,no way.

One bizarre thought,Jimmy and Dylan are half brotgers,sane dad differect moms *lol*

A very good example of an SS story,fun and we'll written with all the elements,running,mustangs,Michigan winters...SS reminds me of a Kristen Ashley book,all her plots are the same,but are like crack cocaine,ya can't stop *lol*

"I guess over the years I told myself that I loved Dylan. And in a way I did." Her own thoughts illustrate why Dylan should not go back to Gretchen. Yes, she was convinced, with good reason ("bros before hos"), that if Dylan was forced to choose between her and Jimmy, he'd chose Jimmy. But, she also was excited by Jimmy and was very interested in the prospects of a three-way marriage. It would be the best of both world for her. She clearly prefers Dylan, but the sad part is he doesn't realize this and it affects his response. Did she not realize he was a one woman man; that he doesn't share? So stick a fork in her, she's done.

How to continue this story? Should it be continued? The story probably could be ended here. Dylan isn't seeking any manner of revenge on Gretchen, no BTB here. A lot of stories, your stories, have the husband's life become happier, with a much better woman, as a form of revenge. It's one of the reasons I really like your stories. But the main reason I enjoy your stories is that they almost always have a solid ending. This story, however, has a very murky ending. So please put me out of my 'misery' and give us an ending. I'm with the 'bring back Sarah' crowd. One comment mentioned her having his baby. I don't think the timeline works on that scenario. Another suggested connecting with the sister, but yet another comment pointed out you did little to include her family, except the father, in the story. Though with your skill as a writer, I have no doubts you could work them, especially the sister, back into the story and make them more relevant.

If you were going to reconcile Dylan and Gretchen, I wouldn't complain. You just have to convince me she considers herself Dylan's girl, and Dylan's girl only. One thought that struck at the beginning of the story was why he was speeding down the Interstate in a 700+ hp Mustang IN THE RAIN! Good way to get yourself into an accident to then be nursed back to health by a devoted wife, who's learned her lesson.

If you don't do anything else, explain why you let that car be out in the rain. :)

Everyone enabled Jimmy's spolied, narcissistic behavior so its no surprise he carried on as he did. Jimmy's motto of "Bros before Hos" is a bunch of crap. It's more like Jimmy before anyone else. I understand Dylan's feelings towards Jimmy. He treated Jimmy as a brother, didn't have a bad bone in his body and he has a big heart. He never really had Gretchen so there wasn't anything for Jimmy to take back. Gretchen just was on loan to Dylan.

Riding off into the rain and not letting what Jimmy and Gretchen do to him beat him is the way to go. Dylan will need to go through the stages of grief. But as long as he don't let that hurt rule his heart and mind he can move on. By moving on happy and successful will be a good way to start his new life.

First of all Stang Star has written a very provocative story beyond his usual standards and done an outstanding job of satisfying his hard core cadre of fans. As for myself, I wish Jimmy's character had been given more intellectual heft tp explain why Gretchen could fall into his trap AGAIN. Plot devices and characters just started to go 'Benny Hill ' parody .

Stang asked some very profound questions about loyalty, fundamental substance and allure and then chose to propel spitballs at his own examination. The gray areas of the three main characters were ruthlessly excised and everyone become caricatures, either for virture or corruption. Jimmy is a full blown sociopath, but was of far more interest when he was at the tipping point.

This was initially a challenging read but the test went from essay to 'true or false'. Kudos to Stang, for at least raising my expectations for awhile against all expectation. That's better then most authors.

Dylan was abused, both by Gretchen and Jimmie. Neither of them deserves I'm, and he has moved on. Seems the tale is ok'd. Thanks Stang.

Gretchen keeps sleeping with James after Dylan finds out and leaves? Is there any real sense of regret or even loyalty from Gretchen? Clearly there is no redemption for Gretchen…

{Gretchen's dad} …”My daughter is no dummy. She knows what's good for her."

{Gretchen's sister in reply} "No she doesn't," said Gretchen's sister. "Gret has always had a thing for bad boys."

Gretchen didn't grow up. She didn't learn to value Dylan and what he did for her.

Hence we are left with two choices… Gretchen's sister or Sarah?

Why Sarah? …Well in part because Dylan needed to grow up and get him some cajones (as well as a bit of independence from James) before it could ever work between them.

Why Gretchen's sister? …Well because she’s an available hottie that has the common sense (even at a younger age) to recognize the futility of going ga-ga over bad boys.

Why not someone else? Well, come-on… we wouldn't want to spoil Dylan’s dream of riding off into the sunset with a babe… would we? And I kind of have a fondness for tradition… and a traditional SS06 tale needs the good guy to hook-up with a new hottie (and there aren't any other available hotties in the tale to consider at this point).

As far as I can see this ones wrapped up. The two main characters, Gretchen and Dylan are too far down their respective roads. Dylan has a new job in a new town and Gretchen not only slept with Jimmy but continues to despite him treating her like shit.

Got to agree with LSD that this was a much improved story on your recent efforts, interesting characters that kept me reading till the end. Unfortunately I agree with him completely because I felt the characters went off the rails by the end, particularly Gretchen. Why would she jump straight into bed with Dylan when as you described him in the bar he was overweight and smelly. Not to mention the old saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

ok, so there are a lot of loose threads, but he got the anger out if his system and rode off into the sunset. Let him keep some shread of decency and let this end here. If you feel you must continue, let Jimmy evaporate and the wife enter a convent!

Looking forward to a grey ending.

I hope Dylan moves on and is happy.

Some lessons are tough, and I hope he has learned from it

With all due apologies to JPB this story has too many hanging threads to be left unfinished. There needs to be a definitive resolution of the relationship between Dylan and Jimmie .Dylan has no hope of building a stable marriage with any woman unless he permanently expels Jimmie from his life. I suppose the easiest way to do this would be to reunite Dylan with Sarah while allowing Greta to sink into degradation. I am sure the BTB readership would like that outcome. A more complex and challenging approach would require Dylan to recognize that Greta is suffering from a mental impairment from which only he can rescue her. She has been sold the idea by Jimmie and by Dylan's own family that if she tries to come between their friendship both men would discard her. Her surprise when Dylan beats the crap out of Jimmie may reflect her belated understanding that her husband values her more than his ex-friend. Whatever creative choice the author makes I hope he decides that his readers deserve a concluding installment of this excellent story.

Ended perfectly. "If it isn't broken, don't fix it".

I think that gret and Dylan need therapy both are damaged goods. Jimmie warped both characters thinking and lives. It would be nice to see love and family prevail. Florida could create that.

Bring in the sister....

than most of this author's recent stories....

@Pairadox: Why the sister, why not bring back Sarah?

... Jimmy is a fucking sociopath; he needs to die.

Point two.... Dylan needs to grow a pair of his own... he started by filing, perhaps a little fertilizer with the exiting punch up, maybe going to FL will sprout them into full growth.

Point three... decide if Gretchen's psychiatric problem is worth a bye... he doesn't know fully what she was thinking in her fucked up state... can he live with it once he understands that she did, in her mind, 'take one for the team' so to speak... If he can't hang, send to therapy and exit stage left. Pick up with Sara? 6, 7 years is a long time.. not too likely but possible... Sister? Too formula... Hmmmm I've got it! Have Bernie accidentally run over by a combine, and Dylan comes back for Mommy.. ummmm! >;^)>

Nice to have a happy ending for a change in the next installment. Jimmy needs to be destroyed and D and the wife should make up (maybe sharing with the sister?)

The stangs fast, but not that fast. So is jimmy dead? So is Jimmys gonna be seeing a lawyer of his own, assault, and any thing else. I'm glad he punched him out for me.

Gretta I have no respect for, hope he figures that out as well. It wont make much of a story if he retires in florida. If its my life I'm moving on to someone else he is well thought of by their friends. Jimmy gets Gretta pregnant again, they sure deserve each other.

You will end this better than we can. No free story here. Sorry Charlie

Your characters in this story seem to be filled out better than most of your stories. I'm enjoying it. I would love to see a second chapter. As to Gretchen, she toppled pretty damned fast for him to take her back. I'd love to see how you continue it.

I hope the sister could be the healer of dylan soul...

For the love of all that is holy, do not make them reconcile.... Fucking hell,Gretchen is a stupid bitch and doesn't deserve shit from Dylan... And Jimmy is a fucking moron who deserves to be left a brain dead retard or some shit. Don't make Dylan be a wimpy bitch, for the love of fuck.

and tell the other sister after they are married.

. . . to be continued . . . ?

Definitely . . . YES !

Thank you for the story. Again SS06.

Another 3*s for your collection.

AMerryMan

5*s, please finish the tale.

Great but it needs you to finish it. Lots of possibilities but going back to her after that kind of betrayl is unexceptable from anyone especially your wife who you adore and saved from this bum so called friend. She went from hating him and never wanting to see him to cheating , fucking him as soon as she saw him. No room for a pig like that even if you love her and married to her. Please finish this one up

While I understand what you are doing emulating JPB I would like to see you continue this one. Can Dylan break the bond with Jimmy and find happiness?

But nowhere near your best. At least this one started out with a different plot, but it was still pretty obvious what was going to happen from the start.

A paperback SF novel from many years ago, titled 'the Power' described a man who had the mental ability to completely dominate the minds of other humans, including women. Jimmy seems to have that ability. In this case blame is pinned on Gretchen and Maria for not having the strength of character to resist such a seducer. The narrator needs to start his life anew, and make it clear to Jimmy that if Jimmy follows him to his new life and location that Jimmy's life will be short and unpleasant. Thanks for the tale, SS6. Dan

This twin brother closeness never seemed clear. Jimmy took and Dylan gave, sure, but you paint Dylan as smart and centered, not some naïve submissive. It didn't work. Also, after all that Dylan and Gretchen went through, you painted Gretchen as a changed person. Yet it took shithead one conversation to have her revert to the girl she used to be. Not believable. Finally, you share Gretchen's thought that she would really like to have both Dylan and shithead in her life and her bed. Now you plan a second chapter. For any reconciliation to occur, that thought will have to be ignored, you will have to revert her back to loving loyal Gretchen. Hard to swallow. Yet, where else can this story go?

You need to continue writing... I want to know what is in your mind for the future of this trio... Will Jimmy ever get what he really deserves? Please continue and soon.

The Jimmy Dylan relationship would never have survived Dylan growing up. Also, the way Jimmy talked about Greta and behaved towards her and all other women would have infuriated him at some point. Certainly after the miscarriage. Growing up puts things into perspective. Do what you want with the rest of the story. .

I actually liked that story. That's two stories in a row of this author that I liked. I may have to read more. Normally I find this author's first wife so unbelievable as a person that I can't read anymore. Lately I've been enjoying some of the stories.

It only took Dylan 7 pages of drivel to grow some balls. It was a very painfully tedious process. Of course we don't know if they are permanent or temporary balls. As Jimmy and others point out, Dylan may get pissed off but he always reconciles with Jimmy. Would a chapter 2 castrate Dylan again?

As for Jimmy and Gretchen, and also Sarah, they are a waste of skin. Usually we only have to put up with the moronic wife. In this story it seems like we got at least 3 morons. What a deal. Gretchen says that there is just "something" about Jimmy. Yeah, he is a smelly, drunken, overweight, crippled bum. And he is all hers, although not really. Back in college you could make the argument for Jimmy being the charismatic decent looking bad boy popular football player. But now, he is simply an disgusting bully. Jimmy's one redeeming characteristic is that he is pretty honest about what he wants and expects from others. Gretchen's little comments reach new lows in stupidity. Jimmy left and almost EVERYBODY told her what a loser he was and how fortunate she was to have Dylan. Jimmy turns up in FAR worse shape and she can't resist him? Does Gretchen make clandestine visits to Skid Row to screw the bums?

OK, it's nice that Jimmy got the shit kicked out of him. Could we hope that he dies? It's nice that Dylan walks away to a supposedly bright future. Who cares what happens to Gretchen or even Sarah if she turns up again. I have no interest in the continued idiotic ramblings of Jimmy, Gretchen, or Sarah. Flush! Nor do I have any interest in a morose, whining Dylan recovering from the situation. There is no more story here. What we got was bad enough.

.....you never depart from it, even a little.

OK. And this is on me....I liked it. Damn me to hell, it's in most ways, the same outline as the last 11 stories you've done.....but I liked it.

My biggest issues are that Dylan is such a pussy for 7/10 of the story, then grows balls when he finally wakes up to the fact that his wife is both an idiot and a fool.....that does not love him.

How can a man be so damn blind and stupid? It is not real love when it is one-sided.

Dylan called it right when he stated that he was her "catcher" after Jimmy cut and ran. Well, stupid her for staying with someone she didn't love. Stupid him for allowing himself to fall for someone Jimmy had been recreation fucking. And even worse listening to her parents, who foolishly (perhaps out of misguided love for Gretchen) acted to keep them together as much to "fix" and provide for her, as out of any kind of consideration for Dylan. Frankly it was pretty cold-blooded of them.

But, I've seen it dozens of times and nearly got caught in just such an arrangement (although there was no Jimmy in my story), after "rescuing" a girl from a situation gone bad. I wasn't as naive as you seem to write most of your "good guy" protagonists, saw the manipulations and politely excused myself before any commitment could provide foundation for later tragedy or sorrow.

Why do you write your code hero's as good men, but so damn disconnected and just plain dumb? Very few people are as blind and naive as you seem to suggest.

It's like you believe that if he's a decent human being, he's also a blind fool. That gets old pretty fast.

Finally, in spite of the obviously predatory asshole that is Jimmy, the lost cause love interest that is Gretchen, the damn fool parents (all three sets!) and our wounded code hero, I hope you will take an effort to put some less formulaic reality into the next chapter.

If he didn't beat Jimmy to death there in his kitchen or living room, I hope he at least maimed him badly enough to make it clear to everyone what a total piece of shit for a human-being Jimmy is.

And I hope Dylan moves on, finds love and lives out his life happily.

Of course you're obliged to throw in some drama in the form of Gretchen finally coming to her senses and wanting to "make it right". Still an idiot, she won't get until very late that there is no making it right....at least that's how you tend to write them. I'd like to see you try something different there, too.

And finally, there is Jimmy, coming back to haunt Dylan, still thinking he can control, manipulate and take a free ride on Dylan's good natured naïveté. Best that Dylan make it clear in no mistakable terms this time that Jimmy has burned his last bridge and they are not brothers or friends. That is...if that beating didn't clear that up for Jimmy once and for all.

That Dylan let things get this far (as he was the better everything to Jimmy) suggests his blind spot is too big for his psyche to carry as long as you had him do so. Major tactical error, sir.

But I've said that enough.

Really, though....try something different this time, would you?

Or will I have to plead with FTDS to make it right?

I agree with comment " You've got your formula down so well.....". There are certain loopholes in the story such as friendship between Dylan and Jimmy shouldn't have worked this far with compelete difference in opinion. Another thing which makes me want to throw up is Gretchen's stupidity. As for next chapter I am curious to see who is this mesterious character from night at bar. And what new drama he/she brings in the story. My guess is Sarah but from your past work (stories), I know about elenment of surprise. Putting myself in the place of Dylan, I would let the bitch have fair share of expereince with bad guys to sustain her stupidness and see where it takes her. I hope Dylan doesn't decide to forgive her and take her back. In my personal life I am going through similar situation and ATM I am trying to be as far away from her as possible. As I have mentioned before your stories give me support to forget that goddamn bitch. Thanks and Regards. :)

Let's read about stupid people saying stupid things, thinking stupid things, and doing stupid things. The only person dumber that the characters in your story is me, for reading this dreadful waste of my time. And your time too, for that matter. Should have known since it took the first, what, 10 paragraphs of useless drivel to finally get some idea of what this story was going to be about. I am so disappointed. You know this is a cuck story right? And Jimmy is the bull. You should be ashamed. You have so much more talent than this POS exhibits!

I quit reading you because you got too long winded and loaded up with drivel. I read this one because it was only seven pages and wish I didn't. Re-read your first several paragraphs and ask what they had to do with story.

What a bunch of comments! Here's what I think...

First, I thought it ended. You don't need to keep going. BUT if you did...

I've lots of experience with the sister thing. I even put together two 'second sister gets the guy' stories; you know the 'good sister-bad sister' thing. I've seen it; they do that shit, but usually when they're much younger than Gretchen and Abby. In fact I could see something like that playing out.

I could see a lonely unhappy Dylan trying to rebuild his life and stupidly falling for a manipulative jealous Abby who only furthers his destruction.

I could see a miserable, lonely and terribly unhappy Gretchen unsuccessfully trying to put her life back together without Dylan only to be told by her vengeful sister of his added annihilation. This new knowledge gives her life purpose again. She finds him and against overwhelming, I mean overwhelming odds, odds that even includes perhaps a re-emergent and reliably malevolent Jimmy, restores herself and Dylan to something just short of a complete reconciliation but possibly something in the distant future.

I don't see Sarah's reappearance; that would be too awkward and too unlikely.

Overall I enjoyed the shit out of it! My only misgiving was the length of the marriage. Five years was probably two years too long. Five years would have created too many connections for Jimmy to have succeeded so rapidly. And alas Jimmy is what he is, an Iago, just an evil totally unsympathetic force.

Whatever you decide to do you should do it. I know I'll read it, and do so with relish.

you have stirred up the masses with this one.

give them an option and suddenly you have so many choices there cannot be a single solution.

maybe that was your intent all along? more ideas from the readers for more stories? if so, well played.

ah well, off the "conclusion"

and they are refreshing to read on LW because most are about husbands who want their wives to cheat, or gets forced into being a cuckold wimp.

I wanted to jump through the laptop screen and get a few licks in on Jimmy myself, and would have kicked his balls back up into his torso a long time before Jimmy finally did the job.

I agree with commenters that said it got long and boring. Yes, you need to develop characters and story lines, but if it was any other writer I would have quit at pg. 3.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see how you finish this one, though I think, from your other submissions, I've got an idea.

On to the 7 page conclusion!

A well written story about three people who were you to meet them you would not give them the time of day. Duds

To damned,,, long ! ! !

For those who are interested, Stang has a new story "Old Dog" up on the Storiesonline.net site.

Don't know if it will show up here.

can't wait to read the next chapter. As far as being to dang long, you could have checked the number of pages you dumb ass. keep writing please there are so few good writers left on here because of the annony nasty fools.

Fell for every girl who had sex with him.

What did he think was going to happen?

Dylan basically shot himself in the ass. He let Jimmy dictate his life. Everything was about Jimmy and Dylan couldn't see it with two hands a map and a flashlight. He truly loved his wife, as she made the rules for him to pick her over Jimmy, he should have done the same. His own mother helped destroy his life in telling her the same as Jimmy did. She should have stayed out of it, period. About 60 - 70% of marriages fail due to in laws interference. Jimmy knew it would piss him off but screwed her anyway, due to his screwed up beliefs that women were objects like toys to be shared. He was also partially not at fault because Dylan never set him straight. Had Dylan told him right off the bat, shit has changed and he was not staying with him and Gretchen! He should have also told him that it was time to man up and stop looking at what Dylan had as also being his.

Gretchen on the other hand was a stupid spoiled brat. She failed her husband in every way that counted. And in this Dylan was partially at fault. As she had said he'll no to Jimmy staying with them, he needed to reinforce this by telling her damn right he isn't staying here. Not even for dinner. The same way you made me choose you over him, you had better keep you head and ass wired right and not let him in, the past be damned. If he shows up and has a problem with it, he can wait on the porch for Dylan to come home and explain it to him. Jimmy didn't give a rats ass about Dylan, everything was me me me... Even when he said we or us he still meant me me me.

So what do we have here, two morons and someone who doesn't know how to put his foot down. Life is what you make it. He thought after all of Gretchen's rules that she was on the same page as he was, but to his utter disappointment found she wasn't even in the same library let alone the same book or page. He, that being Dylan, should have, ah what does it matter, she screwed up not once but twice, and that was two times too many.

I'll get of my soap box now and stop preaching and go back to my drafting table now.... Thanks again for the story, and on to the conclusion...

All times fucking someone not her husband were a mistake. But in her small mind she wanted both guys. I think he did the right thing by setting her to the street and only hope in the continuation he doesn't go brain dead and take her back. Give her to Jimmy and let her support him. Good writing so far but we'll see what happens next. At least some of the time this author gets it right.

I don't know how many times I have read this story, and still like it. One grew up, one didn't. She was fucked up from beginning to end, even her family knew it. Its funny they didn't find that out during her sessions with a shrink, after she lost the baby.

Like I said before, I alternately love and hate your stories. This one... I like. Only gripe? Dylan should have driven his mustang into that fucktard's gimp leg.

As Dill is SDHTIHIFS (so dumb he thinks ice hockey is frozen shit ((well, he did graduate from Michigan and that helps explain it)) why does he not go ahead and dump all Jimmy's women, marry Jimmy and keep on taking Jimmy in his ass. Jimmy apparently has a little dick to match his brain, shouldn't hurt much.

Is Dylan mentally stunted? How the fuck did it take him so long to see what a douche bag Jimmy was? How did it take him so long to see that Gretchen was only using him as a stand in replacement until Jimmy came back? He is a walking advertisement for doormats!

I have't read the conclusion yet, but please let some of it be real. No one would take a stupid slut like that back. Guy blows into town after dumping her pregnant ass and she jumps into bed with him within hours, completely ignoring the five years previous with the compete man who loves and cherishes her. She don't deserve him and he deserves so much more. And jimmy, sometimes you just gotta move on from "friends" like that.

How do people get the details wrong when google is right there and every fourth person walking down the street played the game?

"Most of the time, Jimmy was double or even triple teamed by defensive players on the other team trying to get to our quarter back"

Defensive linemen don't double or triple team anyone. Offensive linemen do. D linemen may switch and stunt but they don't want to double team anyone. They want to get away from or past O linemen. On a rushing play a D lineman might stand up an O lineman and then shuck him when he sees where the play is going but he dam@ sure never double or triple teams anyone.

never fall for the girls who love bad boys. No matter how bad you are, sooner or later another badder boy will come along. And if you are not a bad boy, then the advice applies ten times over. Feel free to play with those girls. Just don't take them seriously.

What an ugly crap!!!

But continues to screw Jimmy, even though she knows that is what caused Dylan to want a divorce. She obviously doesn't love Dylan.

I know there are people out there like that but it is still something I can't wrap my head around.

Anyone would be better off without someone like that.

You Write some good stuff but his is just pure BS! Dilyn is a pure ASS -WIPE! MO ONE would allow anyone like Jimmy to get away with his kind of shit!

Helped Jimmy cheat thru high school etc did everything Jimmy wanted what an ass wipe

Where a nice guy. Wouldn't piss on either one if they were on fire

Rereading this again, it struck me that Gretchen is a really tragic character.

She falls in love for the first time and gives her virginity to a boy who says he loves her, wants to marry her, and have children together. Except Jimmy was a fucking asshole, who lied about everything because he just wanted to get laid. He bitches about her looks, cheats on her relentlessly, then runs away when he gets her pregnant.

Gretchen has to deal with being knocked up and immediately abandoned, then goes through a miscarriage and a period of depression. Lonely and heartbroken, she settles for a guy who adores her, but she never really loves him back the same way.

Then five years later, the real love of her life returns, and convinces her that she has to be shared by both guys or she'll be cast aside. Her husband finds out, is furious and demands a divorce... so she stays with the abusive ex, despite finally realising what a complete shitweasel he is, because she's desperate for any chance to save her marriage.

The whole situation is a hideous toxic mess and despite being a big fan of BtB stories, I couldn't help feeling sorry for Gretchen. It gets even worse for her in the second chapter...

I see; James Jessie and Dylan Marshall, damn dyslexsia anyway. "He fucked me like I was some sort of whore.", I've never said this before but "DUH." I also like the three "Tags For This Story", "cheating - romance - mustang". Gretchen didn't want anything to do with Jimmy when he came back but only took minutes for her to fuck Jimmy anyway, I can only assume in Dylan's bed, talk about a stupid woman! I have a few predictions for the sequel gleamed from reading so many of Stang's work. Gretchen is going to be pregnant again, maybe Jimmiy's but probably Dylan's, she will end up staying with Jimmy but it's going to keep getting worse for her when he really starts abusing her. Gretchen's little sister Abby is going to make a play for Dylan but it won't work out. Dylan's first love, Sarah is going to reappear, they will get married and live happily ever after. Of course Gretchen will show back up and become friends with Dylan and Sarah. Signed: BTW

Sorry....Dylan is such a ridiculous beta-male that it's almost impossible to feel sorry for him. He's such a weak-willed piece of shit that I hated this story.

So the lead male is a pussy yet again.

but the story was not finished. It is your story and the ending has to be yours

Not one of your better stories! I like hero's but Dylan is just an ass-wipe!

Dylan is not a wimp. He beat the shit out of Jimmy for taking his wife. And putting Gretchen with Jimmy, a guy who will never love her and always cheat on her is the biggest punishment for her. She will regret it every day forever She may as well spend time in jail or commit suicide and that'll probably be a better outcome than this one.

Seriously??? I mean....SERIOUSLY!!!!! The previous comment was that Dylon isn't a wimp. Nope....he's a pussy whipped ass-wipe! This story actually made me sick to my stomach! PEEUUUWWWKKKK!!!!!

Before I read the Conclusion, I want to voice in strongest way that Dillan gets the hell out of Dodge, deep sixes Gretchen permanently (she doesn't deserve him and never will), doesn't try to find Sarah,doesn't take up with Gretchen's younger sister or ever have anything to do with Jimmy except beat his ass again if he comes near Dillan. Purge all of these shits out of his life, find a good woman and live a good life.

This was utter nonsense

Please continue this story. I and lots of others prefer to read rather than imagine

This should finish in two more sentences.

Dylan filed for divorce. Dylan left the building never looking back

Enjoyed it.

Btw, if you go way back in the catalog, you can hear more bluesy Whitesnake work.

Just stunning how this author constructsweak, wimpy main leads. Utterly disgusting.

Dylan the cuck knew Jim was a con yet supported him, cowered to him until he fucked his skank wife!!

Dylan is a weak wimp character...give him some balls

DYLAN IS A FUCKWIT WHO LET HIS FRIEND DICTATE HIS LIFE!! WIMP

DYLAN THE WEAK WIMPY CUCK ENCOURAGED JIMMY'S BAD BEHAVIOR BY COVERING UP ABD LYING FOR HIM!!

BITCH DYLAN DESERVES ALL THE SHIT JIMMY DID TO HIM

I knew two guys like this in college. What a fiasco.

what a bitch dillon is

Excellent story. Well rounded characters and a great plot. Looking forward to the conclusion. I'm hoping Dylan has finally seen the light about Jimmy the asshole. BardnotBard

All the Anonymous keyboard warriors here saying Dylan is a wimp, a cuck, a beta male, a whatever. You're wrong. Dylan is in fact a believable character. He's the one with his shit together. The one with a workable plan. The one with a believable set of morals and principles. Jimmy is the douche that only has an inflated sense of self and some half baked plans and get-rich-quick-schemes leading nowhere. Between Dylan and Jimmy, Dylan was probably more than a little blinded by brotherly love for Jimmy. But in the last act of this story he's realizing more and more that Jimmy is a morally corrupt person. Someone that doesn't deserve the loyalty he's given Jimmy for the past decades. The fact that Dylan goes towards divorce immediately speaks highly of him. The fact that he finally unloads on Jimmy shows all the resentment starting in their college years finally coming out.

Jimmy finally crossed a line that destroyed his relationship with his brother. The stupid, cheating bitch Gretchen was just collateral damage.

Very good story! I read some of the comments. Most are the usual shit that the no less usual army of self-proclaimed social judges pollute this site with. But Kahunabob wrote a very sharp analysis that clearly stands out. He perfectly nailed the psychology of the character. 5 stars for the story, by the way.

In a world where 'nice' is synonymous with 'pathetic', it isn't surprising that men like Dylan get cheated on. They're magnets for infidelity as their stup!dity and shamelessness continues to blind them from what people really are. The worse part is that in real life, they never learn until it's too late.

Well written. 5 stars.

There's a nice guy and a wimpy pushover,sadly the mc was the latter. Honestly even when we try to sympathize for him I really can't, honestly he had it coming for him. even if it's fictional no one really is as much of a wimpy pushover as him. And this story is not headed for a reconciliation so why did the author took his Time writing about Gretchen and how good she was blah blah. Just to do a 180 character shift as soon as Jimmy showed up. Wow